Should I be suspicious of my girlfriend for linking arms with another guy?

[Anonymous]

The guy is her co-worker and they usually hang out with their group of coworker friends. I was told by someone from their group that during one of their recent hangouts, they separated from the group arms linked while walking down the street briefly.

I always thought that gesture is something you only do with your significant other and hearing it pissed me off.

Not gonna lie, but he's a good looking dude and people seem to like him.

He's also jacked and I'm pretty sure I cannot kick his ass. Do you think something is going on? What should I do?

[savanny]

I think that it is very possible for a girl to see a guy as a very close friend, and thus treat him the same way she might with female friends. It is also possible that they were trying to inconspicuously have a private conversation, which may or may not need to be suspicious.

My advice to you is to try to find a non-accusing way to ask her about how she feels about this guy. The best approach may be to speak as though you are completely on his side. For example, you might playfully say, "Man that [insert name of guy] is so friendly with everyone, don't you think?" Her response (or lack of response) may give clues about the friendship/relationship she has with him.

Just remember: You don't want to make this a self-fulfilling prophecy. Sometimes when we think that something is happening, we tend to cause the outcome to actually occur by pushing the wrong buttons or asking things in such a way that makes every answer seem suspicious.

[Asker]

I actually did try what you say and she just said yea "hes nice and funny". I just have a sense that something is not right and if I ask her more about it, she would be irate "YOU DONT TRUST ME!?!" blah blah blah.

[savanny]

I agree, further questioning would alarm her, whether it was innocent or not. You're in an understandably difficult situation. You don't want to ruin things, but you don't want to be hurt. You may have to choose which outcome (ruin or hurt) is less painful for you and proceed from there. Silent suspicion will slowly kill your relationship no matter what, so you may have to confront her. If you're willing to risk ruin, ask her directly. If you're willing to risk hurt, pretend you know nothing.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, keep your eye on them.

You sort of sound like one of those people from that television show "cheaters"--I HATE that show by the way, the host and everything...SPIT...yeck

How committed are you to her? I mean when two people don't trust one another it's not a good relationship.

If I were you I would have a serious talk with her about it or something. I don't really know what to say. Only that women who really like the man they are with will be careful not to appear to flirtatious with other men.

THE OTHER thing to be careful about is the person who is telling you this stuff. PEOPLE do lie and try to break up couples just out of jealousy.

GOOD LUCK!

[GGSTUNT]

I think that for girls is not really a big deal to link arms with a friend.. Girl-friend, boy-friend.. Any friend.. Maybe he could be going through something, or not, but what I'm trying to express is that you can't jump into any conclusions... Why not just tell her? Just be honest, confront her... On a side note, you should really pay attention if she does this with all/most of her friends, or just with him?

[Asker]

Shes not a touchy person at all, she doesn't even like holding hands while we walk down the streets. OK now you just made me even more suspicious.

[GGSTUNT]

Although that wasn't what I intended, I don't blame you... But before you say anything, think about it twice. You wouldn't want to make a big deal out of nothing... it depends on how you feel, if it really bothers you, go for it, say something..

[pr3ttybr0wn]

Be very suspicious of her...

[Betwyn]

ask her?

[Asker]

i feel if I ask her, it would set of an alarm for her to be more cautious. then there's also that "don't you trust me" line that is bound to pop up.

[Betwyn]

Only if you are accusing.. or something is happening...