"Putting a girl in her place..." What's the appeal?

[Anonymous]

I'm guessing it has something to do with male dominance or something? I've heard it all the time growing up, from simple jokes at school where boy classmates would kid about slapping girls to keep them in line, this notion of men needing to " control their women," ( like it's not okay if your girl is bossing you around, wearing the pants, and running the show,) and then a bunch of guys on here dying to " put a girl in her place," in regards to confident women with a little attitude? I'm not offended as a woman to hear this, but sometimes it comes off really douchey how guys profess this. What is a woman's " place," and why does she need to be put in it? What's the appeal?

[Anonymous]

There are some assholes and bitches that need to be put in their place. Some people lack the decency and respect to consider others feelings. It is not about insecurity of being masculine. Woman deserve respect too. People do not deserve to be walked over or their feelings to be treated poorly. Woman do not need to have their feelings totally disregard while men continuously sleep around. Some bitches need to be put in their place, as they have no respect for anyone but their own selfish desires.

My dad is dating a gold digger 20 years younger than him who could not be considerate or respectful to anyone, including our family, and takes advantage of my dad. I had to put her in her place and will always do this, because she is completely disrespectful to our family, selfish, and takes advantage of my dads generosity to her by her looks. While I tried to explain this nicely to her, to be considerate to others she cannot do so. Once she took out my laundry mid wash, so she can clean her clothes now as she wanted her load of clothes clean now and did not want to wait her turn. She took my clothes out of the wash so she can clean her clothes. After many nice explanations to her previously about all her disrespectful and inconsiderate behaviors, I put my clothes back in the wash to finish my wash cycle, and through her clothes in the pool. She just does not get how to be considerate and respectful to others. She is totally selfish and inconsiderate, and takes advantage to people because of her looks to do whatever she wants. Some woman need to be put in their place, and she deserves to date an asshole instead of nice people who treat her well as she tries to take advantage so she can put herself first.

It is not about dominance or insecurity in ones masculinity. This is a bad explanation as woman deserve respect too. They do not deserve to be walked all over by a guy who continues to cheat on them. What it is about is choosing and forming healthy respectful relationships with others. Some people are just not respectful at all, and need to be put in their place.

[BigMeanie]

There will always be a dominant partner. Some people get carried away and act like assholes. Usually the self entitled women who grew up poor as dirt but extremely wealthy in looks. They always end up with much older men that pretty much just replace their dads as provider because they are losers.. pretty as they may be... but still losers!

[MrOracle]

For most women, this is a stupid and unwelcome idea.

BUT... there ARE women who WANT, and even NEED this.

Example: a good friend and housemate of mine, who was extremely insecure but mostly a nice guy, got a girlfriend. This girl normally ONLY dated "bad boys" and was very confident and outgoing and sexual, all things my buddy was not. But she wanted to try dating a nice guy for once, because the guys she dated always either cheated on her or stopped paying attention to her (duh; they were "bad boys" for a reason.)

The problem, which I'm sure everyone reading this will see coming from a mile away, is that my buddy had no spine, and so she ended up bossing him around a lot. Some of that was good for him (she cleaned out his closet and threw away 99% of his clothes, something that was LONG overdue, because they were just AWFUL), but what she REALLY wanted was for him to stand up to her and "put her in her place." She knew he would never be mean or cruel to her, but she also wanted a strong man who could deal with the fact that she was a handful (and knew it) and would keep her in check.

One night, after they'd been dating for months, she got off work before he did and came over to our place to wait for him, and ended up talking to me about this, and confirmed exactly what I wrote above. In her mind, she was dropping HUGE, OBVIOUS hints and virtually FORCING him to stand up for himself and "fight back" against her and he just never would. I ended up having a talk with him and tried to explain this to him, but he just didn't have it in him to stand up for himself, much less be a little dominant, and she eventually broke up with him.

And need I say that she quickly found another "bad boy" to be with?

Some girls need a dominant man, and KNOW it. They don't feel comfortable unless they are "put in their place", which doesn't mean that they won't continue to challenge the guy's authority, but they feel more secure when they know their guy won't let them get out of hand.

[somerandomguy98]

This exactly what happened to me. I didn't have the backbone to stand up for myself but whenever I did try standing up for myself, my ex would act like I was the worst person in the world

[MrOracle]

@somerandomguy98 If you were like my old housemate, the ONLY way he knew of to stand up for himself was to be an asshole - he dripped with "attitude" and had a very negative vibe - because he was faking his confidence and knew he couldn't back it up.

Someone with GENUINE confidence and be dominant and assertive and still be calm, relaxed, and even wear a little grin. They aren't ANGRY or UPSET, they just know what they expect and make no bones about it.

Watch some old James Bond movies. Note how Bond treats both men and women. As cheesy as many of those movies are, people RESPOND to that amount of confidence and find it VERY attractive. Bond is aggressive at times, and direct, but rarely mean or angry, and doesn't put off a negative vibe. THAT is what you want to be.

[BigMeanie]

Bond was a player. He came off as such. A lot of women see him as too cocky and arrogant they way you describe your roommate.

[pr3ttybr0wn]

If he's insecure with his own masculinity he'll need to feel superior some kind of way.it's just bullying. If you're naturally dominant and you deserve respect, in most cases you'll get it from your woman.these guys are just angry pathetic bitches.what woman would respect that? All he has to rely on is threats of violence. An ineffective leader

[Guyincharge]

It's not being superior, it's being a leader. Do you want to be with a man who, generally speaking, is a follower or a man who can take charge and lead? Who will make hard decisions in tough times, and help you both overcome adversity? If you can walk all over your man, he probably does not possess those qualities.

[BigMeanie]

@Guyincharge Exactly, that's what all their "shit tests" are about. Making sure that the man they are dating is not a bitch. Someone who will stand up for himself and his family. Women give men a WIDE OPEN chance to be as dominant as they want in the beginning. Some men mess it up. Most don't. Which is why humans still exist. It's natural for men to be dominate. It's when women don't like it or get their way they call it bullying. Just let them believe that and never back down! Because they sure as hell aren't. Anyone yelling at you that you can't hit is a bully or a battle rapper and women are terrible at battle rap. You'd think they'd be the best at it but strangely they aren't that good at communicating as they though. - Axe

[BigMeanie]

Exactly, that's what all their "shit tests" are about. Making sure that the man they are dating is not a bitch. Someone who will stand up for himself and his family. Women give men a WIDE OPEN chance to be as dominant as they want in the beginning. Some men mess it up. Most don't. Which is why humans still exist. It's natural for men to be dominate. It's when women don't like it or get their way they call it bullying. Just let them believe that and never back down! Because they sure as hell aren't. Anyone yelling at you that you can't hit is a bully or a battle rapper and women are terrible at battle rap. You'd think they'd be the best at it but strangely they aren't that good at communicating as they thought. Unless you are naturally rich or born with abs of steel you had to work on yourself. Nobody is naturally dominant. Someone allowed them to run all over them and they learned from it. This is why the military starts you at the bottom. You aren't as good a leader as you think!

[Zerokoool]

Personally I don't see the appeal. The woman's place is by my side, not behind or ahead. Men dominating woman is an antiquated notion that doesn't really apply anywhere other than the bedroom in today's society and that's only if both parties are OK with it.

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

you are quite smart. Every answer of yours I've seen lately is so precise and dead on.

[Zerokoool]

Much appreciated, I try not to half-ass anything I say or do

[BigMeanie]

Lmao! You are completely wrong. Males of almost every species are dominate. It's not aniquated, it's Earth! Welcome to it, simp! Do better research and please don't have any sons!

[Anonymous]

When I was young I would have agreed with you.

When I look at the married couples I know, the ones where the woman is in charge tend to be disasters. And also turn sexless.

Ones where the guy is in charge and is a jerk are sad too.

The only ones doing well, the guy is both caring AND in charge.

I imagine you're wondering about equal partnerships. I'll let you know when I find one. Not including couples who are basically cohabitating.

[prophecy]

this putting in place in most cases means "to let her/him know what's the real situation." and it goes both ways for women and men.

[Anonymous]

I say kill them. Thats the best way to put a woman in her place. A dead woman is a good woman