Is it always too late to redeem yourself after acting needy?

If my boyfriend now sees me as insecure and needy is it too late to redeem myself? I want to turn things around but I'm worried it's too late...apparently he is really into girls who act unavailable and uninterested in him. His exes. I don't act like that hah.

What can I do? Or is it already too late?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Start acting unavailable.you can always change it up.that means you'll need to find other things to occupy your time instead of acting like your world revolves around him. Go out more, get some hobbies other than clinging to him. It will make you a better and more interesting person

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    • thanks. yeah I definitely need to do this...

      It just feels so awkward. If he doesn't say anything to me today I don't even know what to do... I'm not going to contact him. But it feels so strange :\

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  • After a year together, he's had MORE than enough time to know who you are and what you're about. If he can't accept you as you are, then you really don't have a future together.

    It's one thing if there was something that was MAKING you insecure that he could fix pretty easily; like calling you more, or introducing you to his friends, or something like that. But if he can't handle that you just don't have the aloof personality of his previous GFs, then that's not something that's going to change, and if that's important enough to come between you, then you might as well end it now. That's who you are, and he either accepts you, ALL of you, or he doesn't.

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  • First, do not change yourself to conform to his preferences and especially to his exes.

    Of course it isn't too late, since this is a personal matter. Take some time to reflect what causes your insecurity and neediness.

    It isn't an instant change, so take your time with it. The goal is to better yourself, not to "redeem". If you don't make it a big deal, going from one extreme to the other, then things will turn out better.

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    • thanks! well, basically he hasn't said "i love you" yet and we've been together for a while..almost a year. so I feel really insecure about it because he said he doesn't know why it's taking so long...He doesn't really compliment me or say nice things. I think he is also a really insecure person

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    • he still hasn't contacted me :[ it's been since Sunday now... I'm panicking. But I don't want to contact him and give in

    • Perfect time for you to get busy with other things and let him come to you.

  • so being affectionate is a good thing unless it becomes controlling, I wish my Girlfriend was a bit more clingy, so then I would feel so worried all the time,

    unless you have to know every moment of every day what he is doing, then that's a bit too clingy, but wanting his attention shows that you care, and maybe it is him who needs to show more affection, so then you might not feel as insecure about your relationship

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  • Are you normally insecure and needy? If you are, even if you somehow redeem yourself... old habits will return. Just be yourself and find someone who accepts who you are without trying to change you. And vice versa of course. I wouldn't bend your personality to what they are looking for only to change back after saying "I do".

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  • Why do you even bother. If he's that stupid, you should already be trying to see someone else.

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    • well, I'm assuming it's not a conscious thing that he's aware of. I think most guys are attracted to the girl who is just out of reach

    • conscious or not, this just shows that he's not that much into you.

  • THis guy don't know what is best for him. I wish my girlfriend is more affectionate and clingy.

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  • Please please be yourself . Don't act needy or not needy. Acting is for freshman

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  • No it's never to late to redeem yourself!!!

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  • I hope so :(

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  • Not too late, but if that is your personality then it is so no matter what you do you will still be insecure and needy.

    What you can however do is start going places with your girlfriends or get enrolled in a activity class without him

    guys love girls who can cook so take a cake baking class, so you won't be around him too much and one day invite him over for some cake

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