How can guys so easily detach themselves.

[Anonymous]

How can guys so easily detach themselves. Sometimes they act so cold like they never cared at all. Is that the truth that they really just don't care, or they do, but just don't show it.

[animalwithin]

News flash: we don't, we just have a great way of internalizing it. Lots of us act like nothing gets to us but it catches up with us eventually. I went through an extremely difficult time in high school and I internalized everything. I came out really screwed up. Now that I've matured, I can control my emotions better but I HAVE to talk to someone and share my feelings when I go through something difficult for a long time and I'm much more expressive through my hobbies such as music. I'm not overly sensitive but I'm usually expressive of my feelings and emotions and I'm thankful I have intelligent, caring friends that can challenge, support and motivate me when I'm breaking down from stress or a rough patch.

[Anonymous]

The only time the girl finds me acting cold, is when we're broken up.

And when that happens, I don't really care if she is hurt by my lack-of-caring.

I will quite happily give her the impression that I never cared. I take pride in the fact that I can get over her in 5 minutes, and from then on it's like she never existed.

Yes, it annoys her and upsets her, and makes her doubt everything that went on before. But so what? We're broken up. It's not my job anymore to make sure she doesn't get upset.

So in a nutshell, guys detach themselves for several reasons -

1) To get over her

2) To get back at her and make her miserable

3) To avoid feeling pain at a break up.

[Asker]

It was a break-up between close friends, not between boyfriend and girlfriend. Use to be good friends for about two/three years. hH found a girlfriend and was one day just not around anymore. I had feelings for him for a long time, but I never knew where I stood with him, so I never told him. Then when he meant his girl, I was OK just being friends. I was seriously hurt that we were friends for so long and he could so easily just disappear. I tried talking to him about how I was hurt and that he meant

[Asker]

Something to me and he ignored me.

[Asker]

I understand gf's come first. He knew me first though. He could of just told me that he was serious with her and that we wouldn't be able to talk anymore if that's what he wanted, but he didn't need to just toss me away without me really knowing the reason.

[AnonGuy23]

He probably did care in the beginning and cared all the way until whatever reason made him change his mind. Which is why it's easier to be cold than to be emotional because girls sometimes tend to cling on to the smallest shred of hope when they shouldn't.

PS Not all guys are like that. It's probably the type you're choosing.

[martyfellow]

Guys have learned from girls, who mostly are cold nowadays in the USA. Guys mostly care, but they try not to show it too much because we are pretty sure the girls are indiffferent to whatever we aree feeling.

[posted]

I don't notice it much among the guys I know. I supress things and detach myself easily. But if a guy is acting likle that he probably is just acting like it out of spite.

[beastman88]

women can act the same exact way, but sometimes that's all it is, is an "act" in an attempt to try and hurt the other person further for whatever reason

[Theguyoverthere]

It could be that they cared at the time but don't care anymore. Depends on the situation. The smoothest breakoffs are no-contact breakups.

[Anonymous]

because you can get hurt a lot when you really care, while you can still have plenty of fun as a guy when you stay detached

[Asker]

But it hurts the other person who really does care just as well. If you play it like you don't care at all the other person gets hurt thinking they mean nothing to you, when you mean everything to them. Sometimes it's nice to know the other person does care, even if its only a little.

[Opinion Owner]

I'm caring and blunt about what I want, it saves everybody's feelings and keeps things simple