Why do guys isolate themselves from life when something is wrong?

[Anonymous]

My ex/ on and off boyfriend moved away to school and it’s been really hard on us because he has a hard time balancing living on his own for the first time and all this freedom and being able to give me the attention and time I need... recently he went back to school after being home for break and I told him how I felt like I was only getting half of him and he said he’s just more invested in school cause it’s new to him... and then it seemed like he got overwhelmed and he just shut off... and he said that he still has feelings for me he just likes to isolate himself... and it seems like he’s sad or something because I’ve always been told when guys or people in general isolate themselves they could be depressed or he is going through something that he’s trying to deal with alone...

[Anonymous]

I am going with the idea that he is isolating himself because he is depressed. Isolation and depression often go hand in hand. Continue to check in on him, and if he is able to trust you, he might open up more about what he is going through. Also, it can help to tell him that you notice he is struggling with something and isolating himself more and more. Ask if he is feeling depressed or thinking about harming himself. You might just be the person to save his life (if he does have depression, isolation can be a risk factor for suicide).
There is also the chance that he could be stressed from school (exams, grades) as he says.
Men don’t typically just open up when things aren’t ok. Most will try to resolve their issues on their own, so if you can earn his trust, you might just break down his walls.

[shortdumbo]

Honestly I'm thinking the same thing

[Asker]

Thinking what?

[shortdumbo]

Why do guys isolate themselves when something Is wrong

[Asker]

It hurts

[shortdumbo]

Yes it does

[Drifter83UK]

Some people aren't just great at communicating. No one knows everything about their partners. No matter how in tune.
Either he is seeing someone else in his spare time or he's actually trying to keep away from people.
If it's not for you though, i suggest you move on, or tell him that it'll eventually split you guys apart. If you believe there's no other woman, suggest he take up a hobby or something to out his frustrations.

[Asker]

It’s just weird that all the sudden he is completely cutting me out of his life, when I did nothing wrong

[Drifter83UK]

I never mentioned you doing anything wrong. Honestly though, if you feel it's unjust, better to move on. Yes it's easier daid than done, you'll find someone else that'll give you what you want. We should learn something from each experience, unless you're immortal... I would suggest to make the most of your time than to wallow with someone else in their self pity. You are number one, remember that... That doesn't mean one becomes ignorant... Rather you are starting to understand your self more and ehat yoh want. Time is not infinite for humans unfortunately, so do you really want to waste years of your life to figure out things aren't going to change. Tell him directly, if he doesn't want to be with you, he can just say it and you can break up on friendly terms. Sometimes people find it difficult to break up with partners... Due to hurt feelings etc... They do more damage staying together than breaking up though.

[Drifter83UK]

Food for thought. If you want me to expand on anything or just want to talk, feel free to pm me if you want to. My opinion is just opinion though. You should always do what you think is right and be true to yourself.

[Asker]

I just don’t understand why if he doesn’t want me anymore can’t he just simply tell me that

[Drifter83UK]

Because some people are cowards, or they like to have mulyiple options. Some people are scared to be alone so they wait for something else to come along and secure it before leaving the other thing in the past and moving on.. People do it with every fay things such as jobs, clothing etc... So why is it not possible to do it with humans?

I hope that gives you a little insight 🙈.

Again, feel free to nessage me directly if you're still having troubles, no pressure 🤘

[Quailman91]

Sounds like he needs his space or has another girl he's interested in in school

[Asker]

i asked him if there was another girl and he said no

[Quailman91]

Just because he said no doesn't mean he's telling you the truth. He prob just doesn't want to deal with hurting you

[Asker]

I just want answers

[StickStickity13]

You're not very understanding, he has priorities and you just want attention.

[Asker]

Well it’s hard when he’s bad at communicating and like he just won’t talk to me for like HOURS and it makes me feel like I’m just not important anymore

[StickStickity13]

Jesus, you can't leave him alone for a few hours?

[Asker]

No I can, but it’s like he like purposely does it like he doesn’t care