It seems to me that loners are frowned upon. Why?

[Anonymous]

Why is it wrong if someone wants to be a loner? I don't see anything wrong with it. Why do some people think it's wrong?

[AndyWes]

Oh, I believe in friends, I believe you need 'em, but what happens when the day comes that you can't trust them?

If you can handle it, there's nothing bad or wrong about being a loner. They're frowned upon because most people are idiot saps who couldn't handle not having a bunch of 'buddies' to go get high with or girlfriends to gossip idiocy about. It's expected. Like, how half of marriages end in divorce, women imitate divorce about 75% of the time, get alimony and total child custody most of the time--yet guys who don't marry are very much frowned upon. It's like, "Why would a guy like me want to get married instead of a girlfriend? There's no reason!"

Yet they're still highly frowned upon.

[Anonymous]

Problem with being a loner is not that it is morally or ethically wrong to be one. The problem is they tend to be easy targets for ridicule. People who belong to groups have safety by numbers. If anything happens they tend to blame loners who cannot defend for themselves against the majority voice. One poster observed that they tend to be depressed and/or anxious - common sense tells me this is true, and I think the reason is not simply that loneliness is universally depressing for all, but that they are at a significant social disadvantage. It is this social disadvantage I think that makes them frowned upon.

[eaeaea]

I'm not against it, however a lot of people are not mentally stable and being a lone for a long period of time could lead to an unhealthy living style and probably develop crazy ideas...

I've watched the discovery channel.. .. a lot of psychos were loners and end up doing tragedies... It's horrible. They have too much time on their hands ALONE. thinking.. thinking.. thinking...

Not everyone is social, but I think it's best if you have at least one or two people to talk with, just in case you have / or come across problems and such, it helps! a lot!

[Anonymous]

There's nothing wrong with being a loner as long as you are emotionally stable and don't completely isolate yourself. Some people need constant socializing, others prefer their own company. It's as simple as that.

[various]

I don't think there's anything wrong with being a loner.

I guess some people are judgmental and associate a "loner" with being "weird" or "uncool", which is obviously unfair and completely idiotic.

[Theguyoverthere]

There's nothing wrong with it, but honestly, when people claim they are a loner, I find it's just them being insecure about whether or not they feel like they have friends. I've lost count as to how many people tell me they don't have a social life. More and more people are replacing friends with things like social networking sites practically living on them now. They'll logon to these sites and have lists of "friends" but never have any real contact with any of them.

The people that tell me they are "loners" do really strive to have friends, they are just too insecure with themselves to make any.

[BCRanger10]

There's nothing wrong with it. Society is biased towards extroverts. Introversion is genearlly viewed as a negative, that introverts are anti-social, etc. Extroverts are confident and independent adventurers, introverts hate people. That's the perception. It's wrong, but that's the perception.

[baliguy11]

you might be mixing up loners with people that are antisocial. there is a huge difference. one can be a capable, confident, independent person. the other is a loser that will not interact with others. huge difference.

[Asker]

Great distinction.

[baliguy11]

so where do you fit in this with your question?

[Asker]

I'm reserved and independent. I like spending time alone but socialize at times.

[baliguy11]

so is there a problem? should not be.

[Asker]

I haven't been keeping regular contact with friends & family, so I'm sometimes seen as an outsider. I can sense it on the rare occasions I meet up with them. Maybe they think I don't care about them, but that's not the case. I just enjoy being alone a lot.

[TheDigitalSaint]

There's nothing wrong per se about wanting to be alone at times. That being said, people that totally isolate themselves generally suffer from higher rates of depression and other mental illnesses compared to those people who have an active social life. It doesn't mean you have to party 24/7, but some balance is natural for the human mind to be happiest.

[Distant]

Humans are social animals with a specific hierarchy. A loner is at the bottom of it and, thus, no one wants anything to do with them.

[Moloch]

I don't think a loner is anywhere on the hierarchy. The loner chooses not to participate and sets his/her own course, much like lone wolves, looking to establish their own packs.

[Distant]

But a lone wolf, without a pack, dies.

[Moloch]

Not if he finds a pack. Nobody is ever a true loner, unless they have some kind of personality disorder. All humans are alphas in one pack, and lesser on another, it just depends on the situation. However, the difference between the loner and others that stay on the hierarchy is that loners can detach themselves and set their own course, while also being able to go back and find their place somewhere on the hierarchy.

[Moloch]

Because most people are very social and being a loner is nonconformist.

[Asker]

Yeah, makes sense. It's ironic though. In some cases the nonconformist should be respected more because the person has the courage to be independent, different, and think outside the box.

[Moloch]

They ARE respected. That's where the line between shy people and loners is drawn. Think Clint Eastwood in any one of his movie roles, he is usually the nonconformist, lone-wolf, man with no name, type of character. At first, these types of characters are frowned upon, but they are soon emulated. Look at the Beat Generation and how it influenced the hippie movement, and today's world. People that are different and unconventional are avant-garde, and they will always be frowned upon at first.

[kheserthorpe]

All outsiders are frowned upon.

Loners are just one type of outsider.

[M_A_X]

Becase some people associate success with how many people they can fool into liking them.

[Prof_Don]

the "humans are social creatures" idea being embraced by the masses is probably a huge factor