Throughout my life I have had great difficulty connecting with people. Platonically or otherwise. I have only ever had a small number of friends and never really had any friends of the opposite sex. My family is great and I love them, but I even have trouble connecting with them and am not in touch consistently. I barely made a social media this year and it's private followed only by family and a couple random people from work. Being alone is depressing sometimes, but overall I tend to prefer solitude and cannot imagine ever sharing my personal space closely with another human being. Especially since my mother passed a couple years ago. I believe most of the reason for this difficulty is due to being physically unattractive, maybe even genuinely ugly as well as being extremely socially awkward which is another form of ugliness that people tend to loath. I'm extremely skinny too and cannot gain weight, it's impossible for my acutely ectomorphic body type. Especially after getting a very late in life (age 30) type 1 diabetes diagnosis. I have tried many times and many ways throughout my life and wether I eat 1500 calories or 5k, my body barely changes at all. Only my energy level. Feels like being alone is my destiny and was always meant to be. I am positive most people could not handle the life I live. Not mentally or emotionally so it feels like I was born for this existence only.
I feel ya man, connecting with people is tough. But I don't think anybody is truly "meant" to be alone - we're social creatures after all. A few thoughts:
- Don't be so hard on yourself about looks or weight. Lots of "ugly" dudes have great relationships. And skinny dudes can be cute too! Focus on being confident in who you are.
- Have you tried meeting people through shared interests, instead of looks? Join a club or do volunteer work - helps form bonds over activities.
- It's good you're comfortable alone, but don't isolate totally. We all need community. Maybe open up your socials some so it's not just family - see if you click with acquaintances over shared posts.
- Therapy could help with social skills too. A professional can give objective feedback on how you present.
- You never know what might change as you get older too. I wasn't comfortable socializing til my late 20s honestly.
Keep your head up man. Nobody's "meant" for anything - you get to choose your path. It's worth occasional discomfort to put yourself out there and see who you connect with. I believe you can find your people!
Most Helpful Opinions
What is your height and how much do you weigh?
Some people are indeed meant to remain alone their lifelong, some by choice and others, like you, because of elements working against them.
I have chosen to remain single and celibate simply because I feel much better that way. It does not mean that I will remain the way I am my entire life but for the time being and in my age group, having friends of the opposite gender is more of a negative thing that positive. The reason being is that men in general don't have their levels of testosterone under control and always seem to want more than I am willing to give.
As for you, have you ever given the thought of joining a club or taking up a hobby where you can meet people? Those that share the same interests have common topics to talk about and can make great friends.
I do not have any social media either and it has proved to be positive. The only electronic social contact I do use is GaG but I have also no problem getting rid of it.
There is a solmate for everyone. Please don't give up ❤️
What Girls & Guys Said
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Generally speaking, people bring loneliness onto themselves. Life is what you make of it.
- u
Hermits... yes
Would guess it is possible for sure.
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