My boyfriend won't stop doing silent and deadly farts

[Anonymous]

So I've know his guy for three years and the farting is annoying. I've dated him before and he always does it. He does it in class too and doesn't admit it. When clearly its him. I mean I have siblings who fart so I'm used to it, but this is unbearable. The smell is a mix of rotting eggs and garbage. It turns me off to the point I don't like him anymore. What do I do?

Updates

+1 y

Also he does it while we are cuddling and doesn't even seemed phased by it.

Updates

+1 y

He doesn't have stomach problems I asked

Updates

+1 y

He sometimes doesn't eat before he comes over, so that's not the problem. It's like every twney minutes he does it. He told me he was different, that's why I dated him again, I thought he grew up.

[Malikye20]

They make several medicines for this kind of thing.. But your post makes me think think he's enjoying your misery. Misery, my friend, loves company. So, assuming you've already considered breaking up with his ass, here is what I'd do. Get a bottle of something called liquid ass and outstink him. pretend like you are the one farting. a cpl squirts of this stuff and you'll out stink any mortal man. your first area of attack: his car. Do him dirty. spray one or two into the dashboard (or the seats depending on how annoyed you are with him) He will endure what he will only be able to presume are superfarts for days. Yes it will be a great stink indeed. But think of this as the Stink to end all Stinks.

Think of where this will go... you are in three years, that's deep.. you must make a stand.. some day you might have children.. if Assy Mcgee is allowed to wreck havoc on your face holes, his and your offspring will do the same. But they will have upgraded, second generation a**holes with megassfarting capabilities. Picture yourself ten years from now.. you are Marge Simpson.. only in this episode bart, lisa, homer and maggie just stand around you blowing god awful sh*t particles everywhere.. forever. Hell can't be much worse than that scenario..

Act now. Shit handlers are standing by.

[steven31]

Its probably what he's eating. Buy him some gas pills. Tell him he needs to get this under-control else you can't continue. Give him some advise. Maybe he's a little lactose intolerant, so cut out the milk and dairy for a week see if it changes (Milk, cheese, ice cream, all of it for one week). Maybe its too much protein. Guys think that they need to eat lots of protien to get big and strong, no most of that protein is wasted and it turns into gas. There are many other foods that can cause these problems, do a little research, and tell him. If he cares about you he'll do some research too and try and get it under control.

[THChowder]

Oh man. That's effin' disgustling hilarious.

Tell him to go use the bathroom or outside on the porch to fart.

[skinandbones]

lmao. Best question I've read in ages :p

My advice: let him fart and then Dutch oven him :D :D

[Anonymous]

Early in my relationship, I was farting out silent but deadlies all the time too, like way more often than your boyfriend. What helped me was when my boyfriend told me I could fart in front of him, so I started farting loudly and stopped being anxious (my farts are naturally loud, SBDs are not my natural state and more my sister’s forte). My farts from then on have been super loud and not all that smelly, and I can fart when we’re cuddling with no problem because it doesn’t offend him. You have to start intentionally farting loudly in front of your boyfriend to make him more comfortable, which will reduce the intensity of the smell.

[Arc2k]

It's a guy thing. Though if he's doing it a lot, you will want to say something. I fart around 4 times a day, and if I'm in public, I REALLY try to keep it in. So if he's just farting around you all the time, tell him you feel disgusted and disrespected

[aGuy21]

It's def something in his diet. To consistently let out SBD's while cuddling is rude. Give that boy some fiber for 1-2 weeks to purge his system.

[Titi18]

Lmao I will broke up with him in a heart beat ! Helllll noooo

His coming anywhere near me

[Anonymous]

eh I dunno. sounds like you knew he did it a lot before you got with him... did you really expect any different?

[timewarper]

he probably has gut problems.

[timewarper]

Check it out with the doctor, because it's not normal to fart constantly. If not, I guess he eats too much spicy foods!

[qwer1234]

I'm sorry, darling. :(

[Anonymous]

lol, this is too funny

[Cottoncandydreams]

ikr!? ahah