Are introverts commonly seen as selfish by other people? Even when they really aren't.

[megamanx2]

Are introverts commonly seen as selfish by other people? Even when they really aren't.

[steveguitar]

I think that we are seen as unapproachable. but it depends, like for me I would sit at a table full of people and say absolutely nothing, or if someone new is in the group I wouldn't say hi, just because I didn't, or because I arrived when a conversation was happening and I couldn't cut in, so I left it. I am not the type of person to make conversations anyways. honestly I don't think anyone really knows me at all. and If I tell them about me and my life they would be blown away at how my life has played out because of my introversion and social anxiety. people who don't/aren't like this couldn't possibly understand unless they are extremely close to an introverted person who has gone through a period where they had no friends/were very lonely, never had a relationship etc.. .

[steveguitar]

oh there is a really good TED talk about this type of subject on YouTube, may not be exactly what you are referring to but still it is good.

link

[Anonymous]

From what I have seen it is usually all about how you carry yourself/behave around others. If you walk around with your head up, of course you will be seen as stuck up. If you roll your eyes while others talk, yes.

However, not all introverts are always quite. I'm an introvert, but can be pretty social. I've learned to adapt. I've had acquaintances basically tell me I'm an extravert. It's funny how I can multi-task between thinking and thinking about talking.

Another thing is some introverts can hide emotions. Even if they can't, an "I'm tired" does the trick.

[confugirl]

I've been called arrogant once because I rarely talk to people. Her argument was that I wasn't "sharing myself with other people". Makes no sense to me, but yeah, that's what happened. People assume that because you don't talk to people, you're rude or don't want to talk to anyone. Even if you are friendly when spoken to.

[Electric_Dreams]

Well going by the limited info, she was incredibly closed minded.. and intrusive.. intruding on your will to be mostly left alone. Well.. I just think people like that are rude.. ironic because they think I'm rude just because I have a social disability and choose not to talk much.

[steveguitar]

yeah people don't seem to like us very much do they, I think it is also because society hold confident, outgoing people at a much higher value. because they are readable and predictable.

[artgirl1995]

I'm kinda both an introvert and extrovert sometimes. Me and my teacher and I think smart people would view introverts as deep thinkers who just like to be by themselves. There's nothing wrong about that.

[upsyndrome]

I think so.

She wrote a great book on how society favors extroverts over introverts. link

[Electric_Dreams]

Not always though. Bill McKinley - he was a US president and was renowned for being a man of very few words.. I think it was McKinley but now I think about it it might've been Cal Coolidge.

And Bill Gates.. it's hard to tell who is an introvert unless you know them in real life though. Well, Daryl Hannah.. Gary Numan, they each have aspergers.

[upsyndrome]

i agree, but generally I think society as a whole favors extroverted characteristics.

[mw2gamer17]

Unfortunately yes. I'm a very shy person and I've been told by others that I come off as stuck up, which is of course not me at all, I have social anxiety disorder because of the way that others used to treat me in school (quite poorly), not because I think I'm better than someone else. Sometimes you just can't win for losing.

[kambo_trick3y]

I'm hyper introverted. I'm selfish in some ways and unselfish in others.

Like, in order for me to have fun, truly have fun, things have to be done my way, quiet and peaceful. I mean, yeah, I'll go out and drink and party if I'm forced to, but I won't pretend to be having fun for someone's approval.

I'm unselfish in the fact that I give very willingly, I buy lunch at least once or twice a week for my co-workers, even the ones who have talked sh*t about me.

It's a weird dichotomy.

[martyfellow]

Introverts get accused of being gay, of starting the Iraq invasion, and of voting for Obama. But really, we didn't do any of this, trust me.

And yes, also seen as solipsistic, selfish, narcissist, you name it.

All that does is make us MORE introverted!

I'e sort of outgrown being introverted, but as a teenager, I was out of the cool kids loop.

[steveguitar]

I definitely agree with the 2nd and 3rd line, that's is how the world see us

[TangerineFire1]

We are so misunderstood because we are quiet. Not usually but I have been accused of being selfish. But I am anything but selfish.

[Anonymous]

According to my own experienced, yes. I am an introvert and I am usually portrayed as selfish and snobby. Even my own friends have told me that before they knew me, they thought I was snobby.

[Electric_Dreams]

Did you challenge your friends when you told them this. Y'know "why?" Make them think about themselves and their thoughts, put them in a position in which it might occur to them that they have a problem in terms of misjudging people or being disturbingly closed minded. Nobody is perfect, but at least my imperfections don't result in cruelty to others..

[Opinion Owner]

my own experience*

I asked them. But unfortunately people in general are cruel and they judge everyone and everything. It's in our nature.

[MrAtticusLebowski]

nope, that's never crossed my mind. More unapproachable than anything.

[Anonymous]

Introverts aren't portrayed as selfish, more like awesome in a small group. It's not selfishness it's shyness.

[Dandeus]

Shyness is not introversion. Shyness results from intimidation or a lack of confidence in a social setting. Introversion is a preference for quiet and thoughtfulness, an abiity to be content with your own thoughts, not needing external stimulation to be happy.

[maamunderscoreskippy]

Introverts are seen as very self conscious, or have trust issues.

[emptypackofsmokes]

Yes, that often appears to be the case-

[Anonymous]

I don't look at introverts as selfish people. I see them as generally smarter people.

[Anonymous]

selfish? mmm I would say Stuck up.

[Electric_Dreams]

What does stuck up mean again? I forget.. like arrogant or obnoxious or something right? You seriously think introverts are stuck up? Do you even know what an introvert is? Generally tends to be someone who doesn't talk much because they are one or more of the following - shy, lacking confidence in socialising, have a disability of some kind, just a quiet person, reflective, a deep thinker who enjoys their own company and doesn't feel a need to be closely connected to several people.

[steveguitar]

I agree with electric dreams

[yaddayaddayadda02]

Selfish in what way?

[Cromartie]

In general. Introverts are seen as, due to being quiet, either "too good" or "too distant" in social interactions. When inferiority is the flavor of persecution obviously they are seen as snobs and such, and when abandonment is the flavor, they may be seen as aloof or the perceiver may think they are not valued. All are forms of selfishness.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

I see. I just never even thought of it that way.

[Electric_Dreams]

I cannot understand how people apparently think this about introverts without even knowing them at all.. it's incredibly rude, illogical, mean spirited almost... animalistic. It's interesting, time after time, I have witnessed many neuro typical people displaying bullying behavior towards 'peculiar', 'strange' or introverted individuals, without even realising it. Some of these same people have claimed to be anti-bullying and yet they seem unaware that they are doing it themselves.

[Electric_Dreams]

So sometimes, people genuinely are unaware that what they are doing constitutes bullying. So many people are so lacking in self awareness.. it's.. well it's quite shameful. And if not bullying, they are at least very much discriminating, again without realising it at all. I'm a very observant person. I watch social dynamics. I'm like Sheldon the Autistic Texan in that I observe but don't understand.. I just observe.. maybe out of interest, or maybe because I can't interact.

[Cromartie]

Yes.