He has turned so clingy and cuddly lately. Why?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend has turned so clingy and cuddly lately. We usually sit on opposite ends of the couch to watch tv. Lately he has been wanting to lay with his head in my lap. Last night, I sat on the couch for about 5 minutes and he grabbed my blanket, covered up and layed with his head in my lap for over an hour. He normally stays up all night (as he usually works 3rd shift), but when I went to bed at 9ish, he came right in and went to bed with me. Nooooo there was no sex involved. All he wanted to do was cuddle. What the hell is going on? Why the change all of a sudden?

[Anonymous]

Maybe he' been feeling neglected lately, or thinks that you have been?

Maybe for a while there he was just focused on himself. Like , he loved you, but wasn't feeling the whole relationship thing for awhile (just a man who likes his space) and now he misses the perks of being in a relationship.

[Bethany94]

Why the hell do you sit at opposite ends of the couch? If you've been dating long enough to be living together that is a completely acceptable level of physical affection.

[quietvixen17]

That's sweet. I think that he just want to be comforted at the moment. You put him at ease after a long days work.

[madhatters4]

he's just starting to feel closer to you it sounds like. the reason for this couldbe that his feelings have grown or perhaps someone told him that if he wants to take things to another level he needs to show some more affection... nonetheless this seems like a good revelation

[Asker]

Thanks. We really can't get to another level. We live together now. It just gets annoying someone always clinging to you or on you.

[madhatters4]

wow you are one of the first women to be upset that a guy wants to cuddle with you. what is the problem that recently he wants to cuddle? Do you consider asking him if he is alright? Typically a change in desire for phsyical contact indicates something emotional going on...so maybe works been tough or he's feeling distant, lost, etc etc... you should just talk to him.

[madhatters4]

or if it bothers you that he wants to be close to you maybe you should decide if you like a guy who likes non-sexual physical intimacy

[Asker]

Its not that I mind the cuddling, but from the minute I get home from work until the next morning when I get up to go to work (on his days off). I just don't want to be used as someones "rock" for a week or two and then it stops. I am not the type to fall into the "being used when I need you" type of thing.

[madhatters4]

being used?

umm, I'm sort of torn on what to think here. It seems to me like in a relationship if a person needs you, you need to be there for them. That's just the way it is...there are times in my relationship when my girlfriend is especially needy and it may be a bit of a burden but it is my job as her partner to support her regardless.

again maybe try to find out what's going on in his head. find out what the source of this neediness is and maybe that will help him process it all

[Asker]

I say being used in that in the almost 3 years we have been together, we have never cuddled on the couch. Yes an arm around each other in the bed is about the extent of cuddling. He never even acted like this when his brother passed away. I don't know what to think either because he is very friendly, joking and wanting sex at any time of day, not just at night. He has a whole different demeanor about him. Where we argued about getting him to do anything at home, he now just does it willingly.

[Proxity]

You're going to have to ask him, because if his attention is getting in the way of your personal space, there are going to be issues. Madhatters--as well as the rest of us--can only go so far in deducing. Perhaps at some point he felt that this change would revitalize the relationship somehow. Sounds like he really wants to keep you. o:

[quantumdefender]

if you don't love him, dump so he can find someone who will love him.

[Asker]

Who said I didn't love him? It's just an "extreme" change for him. For someone to want to cuddle for like 8 hours when before they only wanted to cuddle in bed for a little bit when he came in at 3 or 4 am, not 9pm!

[eddzeeman]

3 years and you find this weird? what lol? you sure you've been in a relationship this whole time? If you find it annoying then let him go, you sure don't deserve his cuddles.

[Anonymous]

Because maybe he has realized how awesome it is to cuddle? Shocking!

[teasegirl]

Awwwwww! He loves cuddling too! You're lucky <3

[Asker]

haha. No actually its pretty gd annoying.

[Anonymous]

lose him he's a clinger