Questions

My boyfriend moved out of town for work. He would like for my son, myself & his 2 kids to come visit for the summer. Everyone gets along well for the most part :) The boys are 5-10 years old so they fight over kids stuff occasionally lol. But anywho, my boyfriend works 5am to 6pm 6 days a week. We’ll be doing activities without him which requires A LOT of energy and attentiveness. & of course I’ll be doing all of the cooking and cleaning while we’re there. We’ll be miles away from home in a town that I’m unfamiliar with. I’m not sure if that’s how I want to spend my summer but the boys won’t be able to go if I don’t. The kids miss their dad, the boys miss each other, I miss the boys & their dad lol. I’d feel horrible if I don’t go & I really want to but my boyfriend works so much and I’ll be like a single mom with 3 boys in an unknown place. What would you do?

"Look at her... she's so pretty!!"
"Why aren't you like your brother, he's smart."

I'm not sure this is just Eastern culture. It seems like complimenting the third person in order to compare your partner, kid or friend is a trick to motivate someone to improve themselves. But does it work?

For me, as the 3rd person, this behavior could bring me troubles, eg. the persons being compared turned to me instead of taking actions to change something about them. I know they're upset and then became rude and criticized me (at the first time we met). That's why I don't feel good when a married man/boyfriend compares their partner with me. It actually causes more self-doubt because I'm still single. Above all, I prefer to have other ladies to be my friends, not enemy.

If you have been compared, how do you feel, REALLY?

Would you confront the person who does so, and tell him or her about your feelings and thoughts?

so I have been talking to a guy for over a year now. very hard to communicate with. He putted the effort to talk to me everyday and be present. But because he is a workaholic he could not make a lot of time to spent some time toghether to really bond. At first I didnr mind because i have a good life of my own and i would make time to see him when it could. That would be taking a walk eating or spent some time alone in the car. He toldnme he is looking for something serious and wants to get married. I dated in between of the beginning stage with other guys. i stopped and only dated him the rest of the 5-6 months. When i would ask about our relationship he was very hessitant about the future but would still send me a lot of signals about marriage like houses he is looking for to live in and would say things like do you like this one and that one. So he would act really serious but when it came to talking about how serious it was always a open end. Like he was scared to commit. So he told me about his past relationshipsnot having a really serious relationship with any girl and that i feel different to him ( in a good way). I recently found out he talked to a girl in the beginninf of the talking stage and also would see her. ( hook up) But I know for a fact he was not planning to marry ( no offense, there are deeper lying things that i know about. Just know for a fact he would never marry her). 2 weeks ago i asked about our relationship again and i found out that after i had the talk with him he contacted the other girl again after not talking for months. When she asked about something serious he would ghost her. I had a conversation immediatly and he told me that he was not serious about her and he is with me and doesn't want to break contact becaus he wants me and wants to further invest more in the relationship and did wrong. He doesn't want me to leave but give him a chance to prove himself and told me he has a lot of commitment issues and trust issues with girls.