What kind of relationship problem is this? It's gonna be a long story and a lot of grammar mistakes but bare with me... okay?

[YeKeTu]

There's a woman who I love very dearly. Our families have known each other for more than 20 years. We started as friends but as years goes by our communications and interactions with each other are like a couple... you know.. like we're in a relationship.

There's a lot of ups and downs moment between us but we always keep it together and work out with our relationship. However, last year (2023), she was on her last semester of doing her degree. From there, she started to change bit by bit.

Because of that, our communications become shorter or the replies a little less frequent and no more video calls. When we had a little disagreement with each other, she would said a lot of hurtful things... words that she never said to me before. When I told her my concerns, she would think that I'm trying to argue with her.

It hurts my feelings as it felt like she pushed me away because I was bothering her and she lost interest with me. Either way, I was left feeling some doubt about whether I read into things too fast (overthinking). Just when I think I did, she shows a sign of interest to sway me back again.

There's one time where I finally able to go out with her after being ignore for so long and I asked her for clarification and if things would be different after she graduated. I was scared that she would make it a habit and leave me. I even told her that if she has another guy, she better let me know so that I would stop bothering her. She said there was no other guy and told me that things will get better after she graduates so I decided to understand and wait.

Updates

+1 y

Part 2

After she graduates, things were not so different. We still barely spend times with each other. We only go out, call and text each other whenever she's "free". She also still doing the "hot and cold" attitude. One time she would treat me like so special like I'm her boyfriend or husband and being super pampered (I'm not kidding or exaggerating). But in another time, she would completely ghost me. Even so, I still loyal and waited for her.

Updates

+1 y

Part 3

On 7th April 2024, she called me in midnight, and we talked for hours. In that moment I confessed my true feelings to her and she responded to it very well and we had a really sweet moments with each other. She admitted that she saw and appreciate everything that I did for her. I thought she finally accepted me, however, I think I'm dead wrong for that. After that, she still keep on doing the same thing like before.

[AI Opinion]

Ah, the classic tale of relationship rollercoaster meets lovebombing and ghosting light! Sounds like you’re dancing in the dimly lit ballroom of mixed signals and future faking. It's pretty common to see communication taking a hit when life gets busy, like during her last semester, but it’s the way we handle these stresses that can make or break a relationship.

Your story paints a picture of someone who’s juggling her changing world and perhaps unintentionally putting you on an emotional yo-yo. It’s concerning when arguments lead to hurtful words rather than constructive conversations—it's like adding a splash of lemon juice to a paper cut, right? Not exactly the cocktail of love we hope for.

Given the ups and downs you've described, it seems you've got a couple of classic ‘red flags’ waving at you, possibly signaling love has taken a backseat to personal turmoil or a shift in her priorities. You did the right thing by communicating your feelings and seeking clarity. Now, the ball is in her court to ensure her actions match her promises post-graduation. Remember, love shouldn’t consistently feel like a battle or leave you second-guessing. Look out for actions that match words; it's like the harmony in your favorite song, can't have one without the other. 🎵 Keep rocking that communication, and don’t forget to value your own peace and happiness amidst the turmoil.

[Oliverlogan263]

Bro, this chick got you on an emotional rollercoaster fr! Hot and cold, raisin' your hopes then lettin' you down - not cool at all.

From what you described, it really sounds like she's just not that into you my guy. Might be she's scared to commit or has some issues goin' on. But either way, you deserve better than to be someone's second option, ya feel me?

I know you care about her a lot. But at this point, all you're doing is stressin' yourself out waiting around for crumbs of her attention. You the snack homie, and there's other honeys out there that'd snack on you just right!

My advice - tell her straight how you feel, that you want something real or nothing at all. But prepare yourself that it might not go your way. Then you need to cut her off for good, no more taking her back when she comes runnin'.

Focus on you, enjoy your summer, hit up some parties. I'm sure it won't take long before another bad bish comes your way and shows you the respect you deserve king! You got this.

[lornakrys]

You need to let this girl go. You are clearly her back up option. No one who truly loves and values you will treat you this way. Leave her and give yourself a chance to heal. You may find that there are some great people around you that you haven't even noticed. You'll find someone better.