The Friendzone (A Watered Down Version)

[thomps2000]

Time again and again we hear the phrase "She totally friendzoned me!" or something along those lines. But do we ever actually think about it? I get it. You've been talking to this person for a while, you've become friends, you like them a lot, and when you finally get the courage to make a move, you're regected. It hurts. They tell you they'd rather just be friends. Say in this scenerio, once you find out they don't like you, you stop hanging out with them, stop talking to them. Imagine how that person must feel. They thought they had actually made a friend, but that person was only intersted in dating them and just because they didn't feel a spark as well, they lost a friend.

The friendzone is being friends. That's it. So that is nothing to shame someone over.

[aficionado]

You couldn't be more wrong. Just as you are not OBLIGED to date someone, the other person is not OBLIGED to remain friends even after he/she develops feelings. We usually can't CONTROL who we develop feelings for.

As an example, lets say I befriend a woman. Gradually, as I get to know her better, I get attracted to her as a person and develop feelings. So one fine day I confess, and she replies "We'd rather be friends". Ok, I understand she doesn't feel the same way about me. But I too can't 'pretend' to remain friends with someone I developed feelings for. Once my view of that person has changed to romantic feelings, I can't 'downgrade' those feelings back to 'friendship' again. I'd rather walk out of the friendzone AND her life, instead of staying back and getting myself hurt regularly. If she isn't able to see my point of view, that's HER problem, not mine.

[Anonymous]

this makes such a good point, to examine how the person must feel once they have lost a friend. Anyone who tries to change the friendship into something different and the person says no to the idea, and the'rejected' person ceases contact like if the friendship did not matter is not a friend worth having. There are exceptions however if the person with feelings says i really value your friendship and i need time and i hope for us to be the same again, then i think that is at least still respectful of the friendship that was once there

[RachelBrigs]

If its painful for the rejectee to continue the friendship why should they?

[Opinion Owner]

@RachelBrigs no the person who is rejected shouldn't continue the friendship if it hurts them but could try to spend time apart and see if they can get over their feelings and attempt to resume the friendship After all if this is someone you have feelings for and a friendship did exist why would you not try to see if the friendship could survive but if it cannot then the person who cannot reciprocate would need to accept that.

[BigJake]

So many guys out there are bitter over the friendzone because they can't get their dicks wet and they're eternally frustrated. Add to that a healthy sense of upper-middle class entitlement, and you have a nice recipe for male dysfunction. Guys who get pussy don't worry about being friendzoned or rejected by a girl. Rejection happens, and it happens for both parties. Anger over friendzoning is nothing more than a sign of social helplessness. Dudes need to put away the Xbox and get develop some muscle and social skills.

[RachelBrigs]

I agree with you, except for whining that a guy who likes you stopped being your friend.
I don't expect a guy friend who likes me to still be my friend. It can be hard for some people to be "just friends"with someone they like, especially after rejection.

[SIGguy]

Don't mean to rag, but I've never seen anyone get "regected", mind telling me what that is? lol Secondly, you can stop beating this dead horse, I think you've made your point perfectly clear. And to be fair, girls have complained about the "friend zone", too, especially single mothers.

[thomps2000]

My bad, simple spelling mistake. And also I did my best to make this as gender neutral as I could, (I know I didn't in my first example, but that's because that's just what I hear in my personal experiences) for the majority of this, I used they rather then he/she to make it applicable to anyone. Thanks for your opinion though!

[genericname85]

You see being in the friendzone hurts a lot. You might even love the girl and if you keep meeting her, you don't stop loving her. Guess what hurts more... Losing a friend or being confronted with your love which you will never be with.

Also "because that person was only interested in dating" how's that a bad thing? I mean sure if he just wanted to get in her pants, that's bad... But he wanted even more than friendship, which is positive.

[RationalMale]

Girls should also stop griping about the fuckzone.

Just because you thought we were interested and want to date, doesn't mean you should throw a pity party or try to shame. The fuckzone is about having fun, casual sex with no strings attached. Girls shouldn't get all whiny or upset if a guy is just interested in fucking them but not dating.

[rorschach_]

At least with the friend zone, you keep your dignity and move on.
Not at easy with the fuck zone. "I ate your ass and you still don't want to catch a movie?"
It's a big blow to the old ego

[RationalMale]

@rorschach_

Grow up and stop whining. No man owes you dates or a relationship, whether you're having sex or not. And be grateful. The guy likes you so much he'll have great sex with you on a regular basis.

[rorschach_]

Wasn't talking about me but ok

[HowRUbBuddy]

lets make this clear being in the friendzone makes guys think with their dicks , and thinking with your dick is never a good idea around girls especially if you're going to see them often.

[Ashely_Princess]

This is such a great take. People should just appreciate that their at least their still friends with the person, I would rather still have them in my life than not :/ The Friendzone is not that bad.

[dudeman]

I wouldn't be friends with a women who rejected me. why would I torture myself?

[Anonymous]

Nah if the person rejects then the person who is rejected has every right to walk away so they dobtbhavento feel the embarrassment of the rejection every day

[Anonymous]

You can't keep talking to someone you have feelings for. Knowing you can't having. Knowing they know. It's too painful.

[JustinX9]

I always do that"stop hanging out with them, stop talking to them". Every time I see them the pain always comes back so I avoid them at all cost.

[Anonymous]

yeah say that to the beta fagots you rejects for the hot bad guys.

[Anonymous]

There is NO friend zone. It does not exist

[existing_not_living]

Thank you!

[Opinion Owner]

People who think there is one, are delusional, I'm sorry but, that's the way it is

[James19]

Short and good take.