The Friendzone Phenomena

[Anonymous]

As a college girl, there has been a cycle I've noticed over and over again that some guys tend to get themselves into. I call it the friendzone phenomena. Let me explain:

~

The Friendzone Phenomena

1. Girl meets guy. Guy meets girl

2. Girl flirts with guy and appears interested

3. Guy begins initiating intimacy

4. Girl starts to reject guy

5. Guy accepts rejection - may or may not pull away

6. Girl initiates contact with + flirts with guy again over time (either out of guilt or for attention)

7. Guy gets hopes up again, repeat steps 3 - 7

~

This might seem evil of the girl at first, but something I've come to realize is the guys who end up these situations put themselves in them. There are two times now where I noticed a guy who used to like me eventually got stuck in one of these cycles. I recall accidentally doing this to a guy once even. But how are these guys getting themselves in these situations?

As a woman who was another option, I noticed that both guys pulled away after some point. I couldn't exactly pinpoint why they pulled away, but upon hearing that they eventually got stuck in the friendzone phenomena with someone else, seeing it with my own eyes even, I'm starting to think they accidentally self-sabotage. After all, I have never seen these guys with girlfriends, ever.

What do you think? Does the friendzone phenomena exist? Have you noticed it in your personal life? Do you think there's a future for people who find themselves in this situation often? Comment below.

[ODC2112]

The friend zone problem is real, and it is the specular problem of fuckbuddy. The problem is not symmetrical between male and females. Usually, females do not put man into friendzone, but man put themselves into friendzone. Instead, not reciprocated man should tell the woman , "If you don't want me, fuck you". But he doesn’t do this. The Friend-zoned man put himself in a systematic abusive relationship, where woman use man as menstrual tampon for her emotive dysregulation.

No woman forces herself to be friends with a man whose sexual or romantic interest she does not reciprocate. A man in the friend zone is not a pitiful poor man. In the most generous interpretation, he is a moron. He is a man who, through naivety or cowardice, believes that confidence can compensate for attraction and that showing a woman how good and reliable you are as a friend is a valid alternative to the zipper of her pants.

This originates in fundamentally different perspectives on friendship between man and woman. It is noticeable given how much both have grown up socializing with their own sex. Women do not seek male friends; they always seek a female like friends whatever is their sex, i. e., emotional buffer for a woman.

It is the same for men who only want sex from a woman. With the difference that love can arise from sex, to be treated as an emotional dump, only hatred can arise.

I know it may seem strange to many women, but no man cares to be your confidants. Men who are not your father, grandfather or brothers are interested in fucking you from all holes. I hope it is not a difficult reality to swallow, as indeed many female realities are for us. You can react by crying and stubbornly not wanting to see it, you can react by trying to forcibly change it and doing colossal damage and becoming abusive people.

[myTake Owner]

I laughed out loud in real life when I read your comment. It was the tampon comment for me 😂 true and well put.

[Vanidal]

👍👍👍👍👍

[Aimer07]

You said exactly how I see it but didn't know how to say it. 100%

[236color]

"menstrual tampon for her emotive dysregulation." Wow, that's quite a description. I said these guys are used for emotional first aid, but your terms make it clear that the guys is being abused and you're absolutely right, they do it to themselves.

[Anonymous]

Attraction isn’t a choice but RESPECT is.

The anger you see on the men’s side isn’t about being rejected romantically. That in itself sucks but you can’t force someone to be attracted to you or vice versa.

No the anger is when the man feels jerked around and disrespected. It’s one thing if the woman is upfront and honest with him EARLY about where she stands. It may not be what he wants to hear but it’s ripping the band aide off and even though he might not say thanks he will be thankful. She respected him enough to tell him the truth.

I used to think this female attention whore phenomenon would wear off as women get older and understand men better. But then I met women in their 30s who tried to pull this shit. I called them out on it and didn’t accept of course. But it really pissed me off.

Anyway I haven’t been for real “friendzoned” in over 10 years. But I’ve had women try to pull this bullshit. I got radar for that crap. But why is it that so many women feel entitled to have orbiters.

[myTake Owner]

I don't know. I wrote this post cause I realized how wrong it is. I feel like it's messed up for the female to do. And then it also just bothers me that the guy almost seems to be attracted to that kind of thing. Why can't the pull themselves out of that. Is it that they like the chase?

[Opinion Owner]

How old are you? I applaud you for being open minded about it. It puts ahead of 90% of other women out there.

Honestly this has left me a layer of very deep seated anger and bitterness to females. Fortunately I’ve met a few decent women over the years but still it changed my attitude to be aware of this risk.

I got tortured with this by one girl in particular in college for 1.5 years. This was before the “friéndzone” phenomenon was originally coined. I really had no idea what was being done to me. I thought her talking to me meant I had a chance back then. But as soon as I ignored her she would go out of her way to say “hi” to me or even call me.

Anyway think of it like this. Say you have a huge crush on a guy. There are hormones being released in your brain when this happens. Are you really thinking clearly when this is happening? Are you missing red flags and/or slights from him that you normally would recognize and not tolerate otherwise? Even just the sound of his voice sounds nice in that moment right?

But most me don’t try to keep women who around as “orbiters” if we aren’t attracted to them. We don’t intentionally use them as part of some sort of bs strategy (make the person they really like jealous) or take advantage of free counseling/favors.

I just think most girls who do this have no idea how much damage they are doing. A man’s chivalry, time, heart, money and hope is not an infinite resource.

Sure they guy needs to be aware of what’s going on. But why is that women feel entitled to the attention from a guy they are not interested in? Reason being they know they can likely get more out of him given the emotional leverage they have. It’s wrong. Very wrong.

[myTake Owner]

I’m newly 20 (just turned 20 yesterday)! Also I’m so sorry, that’s horrible. I can’t even imagine being led on for 1.5 years I’d be so mad.

I’m pretty sure the female has no idea how damaging it is. They have a sense of wrongdoing but their need for attention and validation matters more to them than respect for the guy at that point.

[myTake Owner]

That scenario you put makes sense. I guess the female would be more aware than the guy in the phenomena. Maybe it’s moreso her fault than his since the person in love in this case probably does have hormones that could be influencing them.

[Opinion Owner]

Well there are plenty of manipulative players out there who lie threw their teeth to get laid. They tell women what they want to hear. Some women even know the guy is lying but the fantasy he is creating is seductive they go for it anyway.

So what ends up happening. He (consensually) uses her for sex, ditches her and moves on to his next target.

Now we can blame the woman for not making better decisions. To a certain extent that’s true. She could of called his bluff and not gave it up to him. But really is anyone making excuses for the man given he’s a lying scumbag? Most other (mature) men don’t like or respect men who do this. But the players reasoning is “well I do it because I CAN”. But the moral question is “should he?”

Anyway a girl who gets screwed over experiences some real pain and regret for sure. But it’s usually short lived. The friéndzone whoever drags on for months even years.

The worst part about the college girl is she did briefly consider dating me for real. We made out once. My game was horrible back then and I wore my emotions on my sleeve. I worshiped her. I was admittedly picky at the time and she was one of the few girls who met (at first glance) what I really wanted.

She later met her future husband and flirted him right in front of me in a personal trainer class. Maybe she thought “being friends” with me (she still called me when she dated him) somehow was laying me down with gentle hands. It did just the opposite and tortured me for months on end. I naively/foolishly saw that as her still giving me a chance of leaving him and going to me.

Anyway I learned a horribly hard lesson. But no one ever warned me that girls would do bs like this growing up. I had to learn the hard way.

[myTake Owner]

Yeah it’s ashame. I learned about the phenomenon after being pulled away from a good 2-3 times

[Opinion Owner]

There is selfishness on both sides. But but you don’t see guys saying “oh players don’t exist” like feminists saying “the friéndzone doesn’t exist”. At least guys acknowledge their are selfish men. But feminist try to justify feminine conceit. That’s analogy I am making.

But I am glad you noticed this.

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks for MHO. Also you made an excellent observation about:

“Maybe it’s moreso her fault than his since the person in love in this case probably does have hormones that could be influencing them.”

Again I fall back on times guys manipulate women when the girl has feelings but they don’t. However once it finally blows up (she finally had enough of the asshole and devastated) is anyone calling the woman “weak willed, doormat, sucker, etc.” if she made stupid decisions since her emotions were compromised? Not likely. She will get support by her friends, family and society as a whole.

But when a guy gets jerked around by a girl (e. g. friendzone) who really gives a crap about him? Maybe his close friends and family. But it didn’t matter he was emotionally compromised. He’s a “chump”, “pussy”, “beta” or even “gay”. Feminists try to justify female misbehavior on this (the friendzone “doesn’t” exist)

Anyway forgive my rant. I just had (more than one) horrible past experiences with this. As a man I was taught to be nice and chivalrous to women and I was awarded with being taken advantage of while they got told by society that’s “okay” and it’s “my fault” I put myself in the friéndzone.

Just make sure to share my pov your friends. Most men actually crave respect more than they crave sex (believe it or not)

[Suyashi]

I'm so so sorry to hear all this stuff. But what if that girl was giving you some sort of mixed signals? And she was afraid to take the first move. And she likes you. Well, what you have experienced I'm experiencing this rn. I'm in clg. Last year currently. And I have a guy best friend whom I like so much. But I am afraid to take the first move. Since, my past experience are also really hella crazy. I don't want to be hurt again. And this guy gives me mixed signals too. I'm not sure whether he likes me or not. I'm just going with the flow. But it's been 1.5 years since ik him. I like him a lot. 😭well, let's see what happens. But I'm really exhausted by this shit. I've depression too. And I sometimes don't understand what I'm really doing in my life.

[kramchancel]

Women should not offer friendship as a consolation price. Like fck you broke my heart and now you want me near you? I prefer if women just say "I'm sorry but I have a boyfriend" or "I'm sorry but I don't see you that way." and then full stop. Don't add "lets be friends" or "you are cool lets be friends instead"

[GreatBigCircles]

A lot of guys have deep seated feelings of inadequacy and self-esteem issues. Feeling desirable and wanted is something most guys are deprived of. So in the cycle you described, often times the woman will 'let them down easy', ghost them, or otherwise avoid the confrontation of outright rejecting them. Often time's they're 'signal' their intent, but then not acknowledge that the signals are not actually being recognized. (Sometimes it can become a toxic case of willful ignorance, where the guy just keeps clinging to the 'maybe she still likes me' and the girl keeps convincing herself that the guy isn't hurting, or that the guy is okay with it and enjoys the relationship as it is).

A lot of people will talk about women 'leading guys on' and trying to exploit them. But in my experience that's not what usually happens. It's usually two people talking past each other and neither of them wanting to give up the occasional sparks of romance, even though it ends up eating the guy up from inside.

The guy who you were talking about might have ben anxious: even if it was mostly miserable, the friendzone was something he knew and felt permanent. It probably was scary to think about giving that up for something he didn't know would work out and might leave him with nothing (after all, if he had poor self-esteem, he might be biased to believe any other relationship would fail).

[Aerissa_Jade]

I've seen it but it is often because the guy is looking at more than one girl at a time, rather than targeted focusing, he wants to have options. When I would go straight for him full on, if it worked. He would make me an option while I made him a priority.

Like I got her, now I want someone else too, or lets see which one is best. Thus eventually I get tired of it and move on, then suddenly its too late for him and he got friend zoned because of his lack of focus.

Time and time again, variations can happen.

If someone started out romantic for me though, friend zoned, they likely are never getting back to romantic again, just friends forever. I tend to skip step 6.

Some guys think just cause we are friends that they will have that chance again.

[myTake Owner]

"When I would go straight for him full on, if it worked. He would make me an option while I made him a priority." FACTS!! This has happened to me too!

[myTake Owner]

Oh wait - did you mean you friendzone because of the lack of focus? The only time I have friendzoned is when I genuinely wasn't interested in them. But I feel like I should definitely start rejecting when they come back after having a lack of focus for awhile.

[pass_the_celery98]

if you want my input as a guy. If I woke up one day and I said, fuck it, I don't care if I get rejected by every girl even if I am being a straight forward, kinda flirty, non-creepy/non-overbearing guy and pleasant and still get rejected so be it. But I am not going to do that with 1 girl and call it a day. I would most likely try to talk to at least 10 girls that day with that mindset. Girls and women have so many options. As a guy, I have to also to do the same. I used to think doing that was bad, nah, as a guy I have to do that. Even if I have good intentions and give space, I still got friend zoned. Sometimes, guys have to be edgier, not play by the "rules" and just try and yeah, shoot their shot.

[myTake Owner]

@pass_the_celery98 The problem with that though is your pursuing of women is out of desperation for a women - not necessarily because you're genuinely interested in the woman. I've actually made this mistake already. The person who flirts with everyone is uncovered as a flirter. By me even being friendly with everyone (people pleasing tendencies) people felt as though my kindness/interest wasn't special, because seemingly I gave it to everyone. No one likes it.

[pass_the_celery98]

I’ve been ripped apart online and got dislikes for even showing support to others. Even if I’m trying to be normal and supportive, people still view my actions as negative. My intentions for doing that isn’t based on trying to be a player. My perspective is, women are more likely to say no and be less cool about things. I don’t know why women don’t initiate convo first. Her saying “I’m not interested” or “I have a boyfriend or husband” which could be lie or the truth. I can’t sit there and say well, that’s it’s. Because quite often I’ll hear girls tell guys, don’t worry there are plenty of fish in the sea. Ask a fisherman if he goes on his boat and tries to catch a fish 🎣 within 5 mins but fails, packs up his stuff and calls it a day. Nah, he will continue going. I get it, in this culture today, women will assume he wants sex. But I don’t go to strip clubs or seek dominatrix services from women, or swipe right on every girl on tinder, I don’t drink/party or do drugs. I know my limits. If a girl said sure here’s my # I would call it a day and eventually call her. But I’ve watched tons of dating vids of girls saying, do x, y and z otherwise she’ll get bored or feel unappreciated and pursue other people. Then I hear, she owes you nothing if SHE wants to move on even if it’s in the dating /flirting stage. But why are guys viewed as players for doing the same?

[HighlyQuestionable]

@pass_the_celery98 and @Everyone else here.

The ONLY solution to this is to do away with any and all gender-based double standards, in society and the dating culture, even if that takes a (r) evolution in thought.

This whole issue is leading us down a dark social path, we might not like what we find at path's end.

[BlueScorpio]

I always though it was guy/girl meet each other, guys already has crush/sexually attracted to girl, girl isn't really attracted to guy but likes him as a friend, guy pretends to be in it for the friendship but hopes it turns into something more. Guy confesses feelings or makes a move, girl rejects and says they are just friends, guy is devestated but doesn't give up friendship just yet cause he still has hope. Tries again, get rejected again, guys stays, girl complains about boys or finally gets a boyfriend, guy finally gives up and leaves or friendship naturally fizzles out.

[myTake Owner]

That happens too. That does make sense. Usually in the girl staying friends with the guy she does something that makes the guy think that she's interested. Guys aren't used to womanly affection so compliments, smiling at him, getting close to him, all of those convince him she's into him cause no other women usually does it platonically.

[Agagagagaga]

This is a much more accurate take I think. When I was much younger I’d end up in situations like that, hoping that some girl I was smitten with would ever see me as more than a friend. None of them EVER did. I had waaaay more success with women when I stopped trying to be their friend.

[BlueScorpio]

@Agagagagaga yes men need to be more upfront about their intentions. If you act like all you want is a friendship, then that's what we will perceive and will be okay with being friends. Once the bond of friendship is there or we start seeing you as family, it gets difficult to break away from seeing you in a romantic light. It's possible sometimes but it really just depends.

[coachTanthony]

The friend zone is a psychological place in which you put yourself when you behave like a friend with the person you like, because you don't have the courage to behave otherwise.

That is basically what the friend zone is.

Now if you do have the courage to flirt and show the woman you are interested and she denies those advances then you have two options. Stay as a friend and go shoe shopping with her or leave. Many guys stay in hopes a crack appears in which they can then slide in and try again.

My advice is always move on and never go back. If she comes back keep it moving. Games are for children.

[Part2603]

Yeah. It seems that if these guys are flirting with a girl, then they're not in a self imposed psychological friend zone as Coach T suggests.

But then you come and say that you sort of encourage theses behaviors? "Guy begins initiating intimacy" and then "Girl starts to reject guy".

How does that work exactly? Are you going along with the "intimacy" for a little while and then withdrawing back? Why? And how intimate are we talking about here?

[coachTanthony]

@Part2603 When you flirt with a girl you have to be congruent with your words and your actions. So when you are giving her high fives, hugs, telling her she smells good etc you must also be asking hey we should grab a drink sometime just you and me... and yes (smile) like a date You and Me. You need to make it perfectly clear and allow her to reject you or say yes. If she rejects you then you say cool. Do you have any friends that might be interested in a successful brooding strapping young man like myself? Do this in a playful way. This will either get her jealous or really say oh my friend Mary actually might like you. Or if she says no but we can be friends. Just say, I have enough friends I am looking for something more. Good luck to you though. This should happen fairly early on and not weeks on end of chatting.

[MCheetah]

Yeah, it's real. But it's not the guy's fault entirely; he actually thought he had a chance here. All the woman is doing, is making more future MGTOW and Red Pill men with that attitude.

What is a guy with feelings supposed to do, tell her to f*ck off and get lost? Then women would be complaining about "no man willing to commit" in that case (which they often do). You even say " Girl flirts with the guy" first. So it's like, it's always the guy's fault, no matter what. Never women's fault for anything.

I think Friendzoning f*cking SUUUUUUUUUUCKS and I've had it happen to me SEVERAL times! When I was younger and in my 20s, of course. I made it clear early on that I liked them and wasn't just "quiet" about it. I came in flirting and wanting to build something with them. And they gave me the "I'm not the type to rush into a relationship" responses. Six months down the line, I suddenly hear they've got a boyfriend; some dude they just met yesterday.

You see; that's the thing with women that I learned. There is no "waiting." There is no "building time to get to know you first." If they like you, THEY will make the moves on you and THEY will want to date you. If a woman isn't immediately turned on, there's no hope there and she will NEVER like you (at least, not until she hits her mid 30s and gets off the C**k Carousel and has no one left as she's down to her last eggs).

In the Manosphere crowd, they have a saying: "Chad and Tyrone don't need effort. Chad and Tyrone don't pay for dates. Chad and Tyrone don't need to 'work' to win her over." And it one hundred f*cking percent true. And I learned this YEARS ago. Like at 28-29. Once I learned that, it clicked. "Why the f*ck would I simp and pay for some b*tch's date, when the guy she's really into, never has to?" I may not be tall enough or ripped enough to be Chad or Tyrone, but I'm not Peter Paypig, either!

THE SHORT VERSION:
A girl either likes you or DOESN'T like you. If she likes you, you don't need to guess or play these stupid games. And if she doesn't like you, stop wasting your time and ending up in the Friendzone. Move on.

[globetrotter22]

I been saying this for years. Attraction is not a choice but RESPECT is.

I’ve had a few honest women (tactfully) tell me the truth early.

Yeah the rejection burned but the fact they showed respect really helped me move on faster and get over it. I may not of liked what I heard but I certainly didn’t get angry at these women. I can respect their decision because they respected me.

I’ve been in the reverse position a few times. It’s not easy turning someone down who like/respect otherwise but just don’t feel attracted to. It sucks because you don’t want to see that person in pain. However I know it was for the best vs slow torture bs.

But why can’t more women (especially grown ass ones over 30) understand this concept? Why do they think they get a pass to exploit men as as long as they can before he finally draws the line and calls her out? I sort of understand how younger women do mental gymnastics with this crap. But for the love of God when a woman in her 30s and 40s does it. Seriously at that point the only way they would listen is someone literally backhanded some sense into them. It’s ridiculous.

[KrakenAttackin]

@globetrotter22 You are spot on correct. The issue is how women thrive on attention and how they get through their day by manipulating men.

[kramchancel]

Seriously, if any guy is reading this, if a girl offers your friendship, it just means she wants things to be civil. She doesn't want friendship in the way you understand it.

Currently in this situation. Exactly like the steps. Good thing Im on step 7. Im not repeating that shit. To be fair, I didn't want to contact her again but man I don't want to look like a jackass for ignoring her. So basically, I thought this girl at work likes me. I asked her out for a coffee excursion (not a date) in which we talked for 5 hours about random and really personal stuff. I was getting mixed signals. Perhaps she really just wanted the attention I'm giving her.

Anyways, I sort of lost my emotions and just ask her out on a date but told her that I don't want friendship. She rejected me. She said word for word "I don't want a relationship with you" then offered friendship. I felt bad because for her because she told me about her problems with step fathers and exs and men abandoning her. Anyways I just casually said that good friendship is hard to come by.

When I see her again at work, she gave me ALL the attention. Like if I was talking to someone, she would try and answer the question even though she is not part of the conversation. Every time I walk in a room, she immediately looks at me and seeks my attention.

I accepted the rejection but it was hard. I understand that for me to heal, I need to pull away. So I changed my schedules. Not even two weeks later, I heard she took a months long leave for "school" which i don't believe for one bit. I felt bad about it. I mean I still like her as a person.

So when she came back to work, it was awkward. I started to act like nothing happened but she still looks at me and such. I didn't like how things are going so I contacted her first and apologize for ignoring her. My purpose was not to change her mind. I just don't want her to think I'm a jackass. Then she and I started flirting. For example; she likes to hear hair bows so when she stops wearing one, I casually mentioned if the Grinch stole her hairbow. Two days later, she started wearing hairbow. Then out of nowhere, she mentioned she is in a relationship. Like yo I just told you I'm not doing this to changed your mind. Just trying to be civil about it.

I definitely learned from this experience. Offers of friendship =/= Real friendship. Especially if they don't put the effort to initiate stuff

[Lionman95]

I think it´s a real thing simply because some guys are less communicative as others. The problem is that many of us young guys don´t have female friends or have few experiences dating.

But I slightly disagree with you because the friendzone is something both create. There is a guy that is incapable of interpretating a woman´s sign on the other hand and there is a woman who takes for granted that a guy understands her.

I experienced similar also mostly because of the 6th point in your list. That´s something that was highly confusing to me because it gave false hopes. Like I had a girl in school that rejected but later invited me to her birthday party where she only invited a small number of people. I didn´t go back then because I wasn´t sure of the signals she was sending to me. If you reject a contact don´t try to get in contact with him or at least wait for him cooling down his feelings for you. Because otherwise you create a false hope in him making think that you´re actually interested in him. Especially if he´s a rather insecure and introvert guy chances are that he has few female contacts so a woman iniating contact is not a regular thing but an exception in his life.

Therefore any woman that iniates contact with him is special and gets noticed immediately. So it´s both of them creating a frustrating cycle.

I would argue it can become a bigger thing in the future because the number of guys that are incapable of communicating with girls rather seems to grow not decrease. Dating going online didn´t solve the problem it just shifted it and many guys that are insecure have also other problems and are not good other things, too. So they won´t have success online as well.

I´ve been single ever since and I´m ok with it because dating is a complicated and nerv-taking act in modern days I´m simply not good at. Others have it easier they shall do it.

[Smoothing]

The friend zone phenomena as I understand it is used to describe when a girl prefers a guy as a friend and the guy was initially interested in the girl.

This usually happens when people both girls and boys are young and don't know much about what they are doing.

With experience, a guy begins to understand that different types of women exist. And he will know which type suits him in which case he begins to focus on that type and only that type because the rest are time wasters to him. Its a learning curve.

An example is, I don't waste my time with women who like the chase and crave the chase too much. I came to learn that most women like that are attention seekers they love it when they are the center of attention and will do anything to get that attention. They are time wasters and they give you just a small bit of themselves, just to get you interested enough. Ax soon as you show interest, they back away be abuse that isvthe only attention they want as soon as you stop giving them that attention they are unhappy and they will do something else again to pull you back in. The only type of guys that are well suited for thise type of women/girls, are the ones who also love the chase.

Unfortunately thought, the chase only leads to dissapointment because once the guy get the girl, he gets bored and moves on to the next chase. It is a pattern and remains a pattern until the woman matures and snaps out of it. The men usually end up remaining players because one way or another, the women outgrow them. And the men that are not well suited for the chase learn which women to go for any way.

Them only ones that get left behind, are the men who live the chase they get old with no family to show for it. Or if they do, they end up with children born with multiple women.

[Smoothing]

Also the women that don't snap out of that behaviour end up becoming single mothers. I am not saying all single mothers were like that, obviously some were just unfortunate to end up in that situation.

[spacepirate64]

The internet became a conundrum after 2005. Guys believe they can look online for "how to tell if a girl likes them", and girls look up "how to tell if a guys like them. The reality is since society is not realizing that the internet is infested with opinions and not cold hard facts. Google can't even pin point what the closest star to the earth is, while being dead wrong. And since a lot of people get so offended these days, the friendzone theory only exists because men really can't be themselves cause you got boys manipulating women with cell phones. do the math. And boys are winning cause they make prejudice and highly offensive lies online while getting what they want.

[myTake Owner]

Wait what do you mean boys manipulating women with cell phones?

[spacepirate64]

boys are not men.. the more you see a male gluing his fuckin skull to a cell phone.. he's nothing but a preprogrammed degenerate that will use manipulation to get what he wants even though he thinks he knows a a lot about computers and how "networking" truly works.. Boys are sick, and a lot of them listen rap. No one needs to grant them anything.. and yet WOMEN give them everything they desire while they deserve nothing but girls... Girls are equal to their stupidity.. Women are honorable creatures that deserve respect and understanding... a girl which is most likely a FUCKING WHORE.. does not deserve the love and respect for her deception... just like a boy... a man gives up shit... realizing a boy is a lying sack of shit.. which is why gangsterism is the biggest most cowardly faggot ass low life profession of deception known to mankind!

[myTake Owner]

Wow actually. Okay. No, that's right. I definitely agree with that difference between the boy and the man. And then also I feel like boys are just out to get in as many pants as possible until they mature into a man? I'm not sure though, what do you think?

[rtj1211]

Most obvious is lack of masculine self-confidence, allied to inability to process disappointment emotionally.

A healthy guy would take the initial rejection and do one of three things:

1. Flirt with another girl so the first girl can see it.

2. Come on stronger a couple of days after the initial rejection: if he were rejected a second time he would move on.

3. Clarify the rejection with the girl verbally, so that birth parties understand where they stand.

Note that in your description the initiation of flirting came from the girl, not the guy. This tends to suggest that the guy may not be so confident and was grateful to be approached. A more confident guy would approach girls and take the lead.

Perhaps he grew up in an emotionally unsupportive family, got rejected aged 15 or so and never got truly over it?

[Guy13]

Stop 🛑 with the 💩. ✋. I know your pansy little Self-Concept is all damaged etc. That’s the reason she don’t like you anyway, Whiners. There is NO such FRIENDZONE. It’s the 🖕 Zone.
She does NOT LIKE 👎 you.
Whether you don’t know how to bathe, exhibit genuineness, Lead with an assuring gentleness, or whatever…
—I guarantee you this; all the Penis Size Pity Partiers, Masturbating Menaces, and Karma Kids are in the. 🖕Zone.

She don’t like you…. ENOUGH ‼️

[myTake Owner]

Please send this to some of my exs.

[Guy13]

Yes Mam…Put it in your Facebook ‼️ Did GAG a favor….

[jongreat46]

for real, I hate all these freaking incels that blame the world for their failure to date the supermodel, like ivanka doesn't want you and she never will, I am bisexual and I experience more rejection than hits but life goes on and I can tell you that I have been with about 20 people, both men and women and I am by no means a chad.

[JSmuve]

This sounds more or less correct, in my experience. It seems like everything is progressing fine until step 4, where things fall off the rails. The question then becomes why the girl starts to reject the guy. Is it something he did? Is it a problem with her? If she rejects him only to come back and start the process over again, it's because she missed the attention he gave her and she needed her narcissistic ego stroked. For the guys who find themselves stuck in this cycle, it's because they accept it. They know they don't have any other options so they focus all of their emotional energy on a woman who just sees him as an option. In truth, after step 4, the guy should just move on to other women and if she comes back in step 6, he should be treating her as his lowest option. But, for a lot of guys, that's too difficult because getting new women is a pretty cumbersome task.

[jongreat46]

In a way it does exist but only for those who keep going for the same type, I notice that it comes from guys that keep going for the supermodel type that they know they have no chance with. Then they put blame on their perceived enemy of them the chads and ken's who keep getting all the women and leave nothing for them. However, these guys who try to compete with the chads end up bitter lonely incels who blame the world for their failure in dating. Hear is my advice to guys stuck in the incel cycle, STOP AIMING FOR THE SUPERMODEL TYPE, EXPAND YOUR OTIONS AND STOP BLAMING EVERYONE ELSE FOR YOUR FAILURE.

[Xylem1992]

Of course it exists.

Though I think there are cues for guys to look for to see if the girl is interested in something more than just flirting.

So I do have girls who are my friends, I also have been rejected, but I haven't been friendzoned.

I think the war on masculinity, calling it toxic and so on, has had something to with it.

As far as the future of this relationships: you might want to settle for a friendship or just move on. Always remember: No means no... unless it doesn't.(It's confusing I know)

But on the bigger picture, get your confidence higher and expand your options.

[RiseofArtemis]

To secure a beta husband if she can't lock down Chad. Women and men should not have the right to chose their partners. The parents should be from the start the ones to search for the most eligible spouse for their child as both of them know whats important. Of course this only works if both parents are intelligent and have morals. The parents see the child's parents and can guess how well that kid will behave. Their own child might not know how the family of their current boyfriend/girlfriend is which could cause problems in the future for them.

[236color]

The "Friend zone" is what guys that are too clueless to understand they've been rejected call it when a woman doesn't tell them straight out, "It's not going to happen". Men generally don't get subtley. You don't have to be mean, (ewww get away from me you greasy, ugly dirt bag!), but you do need to be direct, (I do not want a romantic/sexual relationship with you). That may sound cruel, and to some degree I suppose it is, but the guy needs to understand where he stands so he can move on. Yes he may hate you afterwards, but I think it's better for both of you in the end.

[Kiss_Me]

The whole friend zone phenomenon is a product of men neglecting to integrate the "Lover's Sphere " and Provider's Sphere" effectively.

If you have no idea what I'm referring to conduct a Google search.

Men usually friend-zone themselves because they lack qualities that women find attractive. Women will test men to see if these qualities are present. These tests are almost always unannounced. Most of the time, women themselves are not conscientiously aware they are testing a man. However, they do know if a man passes or fails. If he passes, the attraction for him increases. If he fails, her attraction decreases. She may continue to find him fun, interesting, and worthy of her friendship, but he does not have sexual or relationship potential.

I've stated this a gazillion times in my previous post. Dating is a SKILL. Study how to do it right, learn from the mistakes of others, and practice, practice, practice.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Honestly the only people I can blame for staying in the friendzone are the men.

I get it, having a crush is hard to let go of. But learning to let go is a key life skill.

Additionally, whenever I've spoken to the girls I know irl who "friendzoned" someone, they've always done everything (politely) they can to make it clear to the guy in question. They say they're not interested in dating, they say it often and repeatedly. And they say "I'm ok to be friends", which the guy jumps on.

It isn't on the girl who rejected him from that point on. If a guy is rejected, but keeps pining for the girl who rejected him and can't keep a platonic friendship as requested, that's on the guy and the guy alone.

It's his own fault if he wastes years "waiting". You wouldn't keep waiting for the train that left you behind, you'd catch the next train.

It's the guys' fault if they can't tell or accept that the train left.

[MrOracle]

I agree that it's ultimately on the guy, but it's also true that many girls will intentionally keep the guy around so that she can use him for attention, favors, and a shoulder to cry on, and the guy thinks this means he is making progress.

The whole thing is bad, but it's hard to convince a desperate guy to abandon what he sees as his only (likely) hope of getting a girl, even though the rest of us know he's never getting her.

And girls don't want to give up the guy who will fix her car, pay for her food, drive her to work, and listen while she cries about the guy who is banging her also banging someone else.

[artgorgeous]

Why do you call it a phenomena? Its a real thing, and its as natural as it can possibly be. Imagine this analogy - women are like planets, capturing satellites around them trying to keep them in their orbit (just in case), meanwhile they are looking for the better male material. So if the better male material somehow didn't work out, they can always turn back to one of the satellites (if they are still in the orbit). This behavior is very natural and primitive, probably lasting like million of years just because or human survival reasons. Woman needs a backup, that is why this thing exist.

[Anonymous]

I think #2 is wrong or out of place. Sometimes they flirt, sometimes they never flirt. Or they flirt with everyone but they never had interest in the first place. Some guys get out in the friend zone but never had a chance to leave to begin with. The ones that matter were guys who stood a chance and waited too long to initiate or ask on a date. There is a timeframe where girls are more susceptible to dating. It’s usually when they are less familiar and don’t know you. BEFORE you are friends.

[Anonymous]

As someone who actively does it, I don't really care about female approval. I already have kids and success. I don't anything else in life, but more money. I choose to self-sabotage for my future. When I am with someone I tend to start falling off and forget about my goals in life focus on making the woman happy. I have my kids I need to focus on. I need them to carry my name down the line. Most people live and die forgotten with nothing, but debt. I refuse to go down like that. I work for kids to carry on with my legacy. Of course people laugh at me and called me crazy when I first started living like this, but now that I am lighting cigars made of $100 bills and they are dependent on government I am the one who gets to laugh at them.

With my investments by age 65 I should be able to retire in the top 1 percent and pass my money down.

[Anonymous]

I can see everyone else's points, but I can 100% confirm that this happens.

Mainly because I'm the girl who is in the situation, I liked a guy and we started to get to know each other. However, my family doesn't allow dating before 18 so I don't go anywhere past plutonic.

Unfortunately, I've had to decide lately that I don't like him anymore as anything but a friend, but it's definitely difficult trying to cut that possibility off for him since he really likes me. I'm not sure I can tell him straight up because we've never gone there, and he's one of my closest friends.

So yeah, it's accurate, and unfortunately I'm doing it... 😔