Since this is my first myTake I wanted to write on a subject near and dear to my heart: The friendzone, most guys, and some girls have thought themselves to be caught in this seemingly unescapable quandry. I used to think of myself as "King" of the friendzone due to my knack for falling square in the middle of this barren wasteland I once believed in. Here are a few observations of this world, and a few things to consider next time you believe yourself to be "friendzoned."
NOTE: This is in the case that you have expressed your feelings to your crush, if you haven't, tell them how you feel, there's nothing to lose.
- It is NOT their fault- This isn't necessarily to point fingers at any of my friendzoned friends who have to suffer being friends with someone they wish to be romantically involved with, rather it's to get them out of the selfish mentality that is created by the friendzone. Those who claim to be friendzoned blame their crush for their predicament, and it's simply not fair. The person can't be forced to be attracted to you romantically, and no, you don't know that you would be better than their current partner, in fact you probably wouldn't, I say this because those in the friendzone are only looking at their perspective, you wish to be in a relationship with them to satisfy YOUR wants, not theirs.
- You aren't owed a single thing- Many people who claim to be in the friendzone see relationships as a tradeoff, one person trades kindness and good deeds for love right? wrong. People don't work like that, your crush is just as complex as you are, they have feelings and emotions that can't be swayed by good deeds and kindness. This isn't to say that doing those things is bad, but if you're doing favors for people and being nice to them, let it be because you care about them and it brings a smile to your face, not because you expect anyting in return, that kills the point of kindness altogether.
- If it is truly as bad as you say, get out- This is where those who are coveted by the so-called "Friendzonees" may get upset with me. But if one feels like they are in a relationship with someone they really, truly care about and they can't stand it, get out, detach from that person. Time away from your crush will allow for your feelings to wane, leaving room for a healthy, two way friendship that can be truly appreciated by both parties, and in extreme cases, just stop talking to them altogether, it's simply better in the long run, the heartache isn't worth it.
- Remember your worth- If you are stuck with someone who you continue to put on a pedastal, and they accept your kindness to the point that they are taking advantage then it's best to move on from the person, they aren't the type of person who you should want to be in any kind of relationship with, whether it be friendship or otherwise.
Those were some observations from someone who used to use the crutch of the friendzone. I hope that this isn't found offensive to those who claim to be in the friendzone, but enlightening, hopefully putting you on the road to accepting the emotions of others and becoming happier all around individuals in the process.
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