A Personal Breakthrough on Understanding Relationships: Communication

[Anonymous]

Relationships are more about just kissing and telling each other "I love you." They are partnerships, as well as really strong friendships. And if you can't talk to your boyfriend or girlfriend or long term significant other about your feelings and how they made you mad, then what kind of friendship/relationship is that? (Kind of a suppressing-emotion for the "greater good" kind of friendship/relationship). Most people will go to their friends or family and just let it all loose, when in reality your significant other should be hearing this too.

My recent boyfriend finally did something to piss me off while we were on the phone, and it took me so long to tell him what was the matter because I thought that confronting the problem is much more problematic than talking about it to him.

In that moment, I would usually hang up on him and call up my best friends in an instant. I would rant and get more upset and cry. And they would give me advice, that may or may not help the situation. (Not their fault, just the truth).

He actually got me to spill, and he listened to what I had to say. He found out why it bothered me, and he told me why he said it. It was really great. I got to hear his opinion (something that we can't get from talking to friends), and we worked it out.

So basically what I'm saying is: why go through the process of talking to a friend, when you can talk to the person who is in the actual relationship?

I get it, sometimes we want second opinions or advice beforehand, but that person will never be your boyfriend or girlfriend. Sometimes tips and tricks are very helpful, but talking to your babe about what pissed you off and hearing their side of the story is better than ranting about it to your friends who can only guess with you.

I'm not saying that talking to an outside source is bad, I'm just saying that couples should spend less time crying to other people who don't fully know the situation (mostly due to a biased informant), and more time actually talking to each other about problems/hurt feelings.

This is just something I just discovered a few weeks ago. Maybe my experiences have taught me something different than what your experiences have.

[serious]

Excellent, well said. This is perfect!!.