Queen of hearts?

[LolaStalla]

To begin with, I really have no clue how love works.

We go through life making connections, and unfortunetly I seem to always confuse love for friendship.

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Three guys, one week, one conclusion.

I dont really lead people on intentionally, we talk for hours on the phone about funny stuff and ambitions. I find that to be applicable to friendship as well. Little did I ever realize that was somehow leading someone on. Two days ago three guys (who are all bestfriends) told me they loved me. I can honestly tell you that the concept really confused me. I didn't know how to act and react. The three who I had once felt a high level of comfort around left me feeling uncomfortable in my own skin, and I have no idea why. I guess the concept of commitment and actually having to cut two out of the three out of my life hurts to much. On the contrary I do know how love feels, and I have no right to be dragging these three men around through a game none will win.

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How do you end a game you never knew you were playing?

[Spiorad_Aisce]

I think everyone in life has been in one or more situation (s) where either they fell for a friend or a friend fell for them and the feeling isn't mutual.
What can I say, life isn't perfect where two best friends suddenly realise they are in love and live happily ever after. That does happen but I surmise that it is quite rare. There is also a large group where no romantic feelings develop and you just have amazing friendships that leave the difficult heartbreaking group where there is unrequited feelings.
My advice
(1) It is nobody's fault, you can't help who you fall for and a person can't help being the kind of person who the first person falls for.
(2) (In the area of unrequited feelings) Clear communication is needed. If no feelings at the start, feelings are unlikely to develop. The crushee must be adamant there is no hope of a relationship and that if friendship is to survive, the crusher must accept that and bury their feelings or walk away.
Absolute NO-NOs
(1) I let person down gently by saying maybe later and friendzone them.
(2) Friendzone them only if they agree to (2) above. Friendship is better than nothing, not true see (3)
(3) The crusher thinks that if they hang around long enough, they can convince them that the relationship has a chance. There is nothing worse than false hope. Absolutely, I could hang around Adriana Lima 24/7 for the next 20 years and I still will have a snowball's chance in hell of getting with her. In fact all I will have is a restraining order. Hanging around someone and trying your push feelings onto them is more likely to annoy them than make them fall in love with you.
In conclusion, lose the feelings or the friendship. I don't think there is a third option.

[Anonymous]

confusing indeed