The Struggles Of Dating A Stoner

[1975Chocolate]

As you read through this myTake, please do not get offended. This article is about the point of view of someone who doesn't smoke but is in a relationship with someone who does. This does not relate to everyone who is in the same situation. Please enjoy:

Weed can be a major distraction.
Whenever we are out, about to do something, or in a serious conversation, weed has a way of ruining it, and/or delaying our plans. Whenever weed is brought up, he has a new weed related toy, or something simple as a new brand of weed he just bought, whatever we were doing is forgotten. Well, at least till he is done showing such item off to his friends/family. This isn't too bad, nor does it happen a lot, but it does get annoying.

The constant: "Do you smoke now?"
Every so often, I will be given this question. People assume that I smoke marijuana just because I date someone who does. And when I tell them otherwise, they seemed dumbfounded that I don't. As if they can't believe he is with someone such as I. More or less, I find it upsetting that people just assume that he will turn me into a stoner.

Everything is related to 420. And everyone thinks it's hilarious.
Maybe it is because I am not a smoker, but I am sorry, it's just are not funny.

Watching him get high with his friends does get pretty old, pretty fast.
I'mma be honest, I love his friends. A few I do see them as my own brothers. However, watching them all smoke, while I stand/sit there, does get boring after a while. Mainly when I do not know how to join the conversation when topic is about weed.

Having to plan dates, events, and other things between, and/or around drug deals.

On multiple occasions, our plans would be ruined, or delayed because of the dealer; either he was hours late, or simply did not show up at all. In which, does cause him to be late picking me up, or be late to whatever place we were going to. I know, this one it out of our control, but at least have some respect Mr.Dealer.

Marijuana-flavored kisses.
This doesn't happen all the time, but when it does, the taste of burnt weed in my mouth is something that disgusts me. However, I am still not going to refuse a kiss.

[Lovelinefan]

If you can make it work, great! If that's his thing and he's able to take care of his responsibilities and treats you well, and you're happy, then it's not all that much different than if he was really into video games or watching professional sports on TV. All of those hobbies/interests can be taken to extremes and could be difficult to deal with, but at the same time, if it works, it works!

It does kind of sound like it's not working all that well for you though, so it might be a sign that this isn't the best match for you. Doesn't mean he's a bad guy, just means his lifestyle is incompatible with yours.

I've known people who have been in relationships where one person is really into smoking weed and the other doesn't (or rarely does), but the relationship works great for them... But if it doesn't work for you and he's really into it, good luck getting him to change.

I'd compare it to a guy who's fanatical about sports, can never miss a game on TV, and even if he can be pried away from the TV to go on a date is STILL watching on his smartphone or on the TV in the restaurant. Good luck getting that kind of guy to give up ESPN.

[cipher42]

You're definitely dating a pretty strange stoner then. I live with some super hardcore stoners and their lives are not nearly this weed-centric. Like, they go smoke a lot, but it doesn't interfere with their regular schedule or rule their conversations or anything.

[frozenhorizon]

Yeah he sounds completely obsessed/addicted, lol.

[Tombstone1000100]

THIS !! I do weed and my girlfriend doesn't even know. 😂😂😂😂 This girl's boyfriend sounds pretty fukin amateur to me.

[XRabbitHeartX]

Dating stoners becomes old and boring real fast. Especially if they do it daily. Seeing them become less motivated and more and more obsessed with only getting high is tiring. I've been through it with TWO ex's and I'll never date a pot head again in my life. It can be very damaging to a relationship and secondly, I realized I wouldn't want a family of my own someday with a husband that has to smoke pot to feel OK.

[Chief16]

www.wired.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/8552.gif
So... You pick your poison and call it a struggle? The irony here is, what weed is to him, he is to you.
A vice.

[ThisDudeHere]

This^

[Anonymous]

I agree that it's annoying when people assume that you're a stoner just because your boyfriend is. I had friends in high school who used marijuana but I never did. The problem was that students in my class and even teachers thought I did just because of their reputations. It was the most frustrating thing. Needless to say, we are no longer friends because all they cared about was marijuana and we all just took different directions in life. I definitely get where you're coming from :)

[1975Chocolate]

Yeah, I am kinda scared one his care for weed may ruin our relationship, due to the fact I do get somewhat annoyed about somethings he does with it.

[Opinion Owner]

I think it comes down to how much you guys care about each other :) However, I do think that he has to prioritize your relationship more if this is going to work out. Just remember that you can't change his opinion and he can't change yours. I hope things work out for you guys and that I helped in some way :)

[1975Chocolate]

I think we have a pretty strong relationship. No way would I force him to stop. Plus, he has even offered to stop smoking, but I told him no. A lot of people think he is a bad guy by a few things.

[madhatters4]

i mean of course you have to be weary of anyone who uses a substance but like alcohol responsible use of marijuana in moderation shouldn't have to ruin a relationship

based on what you've posted though it sounds like your dealings with smokers where people who were far more than a moderate weed smoker

[frozenhorizon]

Yeah definitely, it sounds like his life revolves around it. lol.

[Mustachekitteh]

This mytake makes me think of this friend of my bf's. He's a stoner but a scary genius due to how smart he is. We have a lot of fun doing weed jokes at him, though it's not to pick on him but just friendly play.

Doesn't really sound like you're too happy in the relationship. :(

[1975Chocolate]

Oh, please do not think that I am unhappy with my relationship. In fact, I love it very much. However, every couple has 'those things' they may dislike about each other. Mine just so happens to be his weed. :)

[Mustachekitteh]

Okay.

[WombRaider]

Don't kid yourself MyTake Owner... I'm almost certain you're already having doubts. Your Take sounds like the beginning of the break up road.

[Stacyzee]

What do you find appealing about him? I mean , you haven't mentioned one good thing here , only the fact that he is a dopey pot head.

[1975Chocolate]

He's a very sweet guy. In fact, he treats me as if I was a queen. Just because he has a few things I may dislike, doesn't make him any less of a good guy. :)

Plus, the myTake is the STRUGGLES of taking one. Not the good side of one. I might have to create that myTake now, though.

[Stacyzee]

Yeah , I get that but you could have incorporated a line or two saying , "Despite the struggles, I do it all for this guy because he treats me like a queen " you could have listed a few good qualities. It's just that this take makes him seem like huge trash worth ditching. It just made me wonder why you put up with it. I'm sure others feel the same.

[TripleAce]

So you're only 20 right, I'm guessing he's around the same age... That's the easy part. Just wait until he becomes a 30-40 year old stoner, then the fun really begins.

[Deft_maiden]

Right? 😂

[koksss]

what kind of fun can u give an example

[mikeaaa]

@koksss a lifetime of fun and games

[koksss]

@mikeaaa so it seems that ure a stoner right?

[Anonymous]

To be seriously honest, if you are irritated by such habits maybe it's time to end the relationship or try it yourself.
Having someone who loves marajuna is not just going to drop it all.
Understand why he likes it so much, so you can understand exactly what roams around in his head.
I mean I'm in such relationship myself, but I'm in love with every part of him whether he smokes or not.
I could totally care less, he's having fun and I enjoy seeing him happy.
I know it's not something I've liked about him but you learn to accept it, because this is who he is.

[LittleSally]

You forgot (pun intended) the worst side affect - they forget EVERYTHING.
Maybe your boyfriend hasn't gotten that far yet... but he will. And you will hate it.

[Anonymous]

iam sorry are you looking for empathy from us? you ain't getting that, dont date drug addicts if you're so annoyed by their habits, you dont sound girlfriend material to begin with or otherwise you'd have chosen a much more respectable guy.

[frozenhorizon]

It does seem annoying how other people perceive you. I don't think there's anything wrong with being a stoner but It sounds like he is obsessed more than is healthy!

[Spermdumster666]

thats it. Your take doesn't sound like much of a struggle anymore than dating a socual drinker like me when you dont partake ie being tge designated driver.

[Redstang88]

And thats why I won't have anything to do with stoners.

[WombRaider]

INB4 a few months down the line you write a MyTake on how you broke up with him. That's the way your relationship is going, down hill.

Mind you, you've probably started talking about breaking up with him to your friends... girls usually do that.

[Dandeus]

This is why weed is a deal breaker.

[This_is_my_username]

ladies and gents

don't date a stoner.

The End.

[Marinepilot]

He won't change. Leave him now or let him pull you down. He maybe nice, but
he has a monkey on his back the size of King Kong.

[Deft_maiden]

I wouldn't consider a stoner to begin with

[skeptic007]

exactly :)

[thewhiteballer]

@skeptic007 judgmental af

[orphan]

so you're dating two different people

sober boyfriend and high boyfriend.

[joshcisneros32]

You just got to give him a choice you or the weed its that simple