So I wrote a very extensive take on what men looked for in relationships, and this will be in the same lines at that other one, but I’ll be focusing on what women want. I decided to go into more informative, and reference territory than any of my other takes, and I decided to cut it in two because of how long it got (not very surprising considering this is about women).
Now, before there’s anyone (and I’m looking at you girls) jumping on me, telling me I can’t say all women want all the same in relationships just because I’m basing myself in biology, then this take it’s not going to please you. I believe biology is inherent within every single individual being men or women, and most of our reasoning and decisions come straight from that single principle. Though superficially we may want different things, they all come from the same natural drive.
Disclaimer: I do not count deviations from the rule, being that any other sexual preference that isn’t straight. I also don’t deal with pathology/sociopathy in the takes that I write about, nor I consider them in what it is healthy and straight females and males. Traditional/casual relationships, and natural selection, are all born directly from biology and we are wired with it. And as I said before, you can ignore it, mock it or feel upset about it, but it’s going to follow you as long as you engage in relationships, have a sexual drive and a subconscious interest in fulfilling your biological imperative.
This take may sit better with the guys, but I am very much interested in girls reading and are very welcome in giving their two cents. There’s a lot of confusion from men in trying to really have a grasp of what women want with their partners, and often they are confused of either emotional reactions/responses that females usually have under some situations.
Many men ultimately feeling, frustrated and bitter about women. It is actually a very common sight for men to be taking a route of victimization, and hatred towards women (ironically, not very much unlike feminists towards men). Many men opt out of marriage, and simply stop taking seriously what relationships are about. So girls, it’s important to look at yourselves to work your decisions around that, no matter how much you’d like to avoid having a mirror facing you.
Here’s an extract of what a women wrote in a gag question, which prompted me to write this:
“He and I have a three year old and I'm 18 weeks pregnant. My daughter isn't his biologically, but she may as well be, and I am hugely protective of my family. There isn't a length I wouldn't go to... but sometimes I feel I'm on my own with that. Physically, my boyfriend is bigger and stronger than I am, but he doesn't make me feel safe, and sometimes I do need to feel that.
I feel like if someone ever broke into our home, I'd be on my own with that. I'd go for it, anyone would, but it's not a nice thought.
We rarely solve anything when we argue. He ends up walking away, and I back down because I feel too guilty. It's like kicking a puppy.
I don't feel like this all he time, but occasionally I get frustrated. Sometimes I just want/need some assertion from him, but it's just never there.”
As I have mentioned before, women are by nature very directional creatures. This that this girl wrote here, and I mean no offense in the slightest, is very basic and common female thinking. It’s a directional thought process.
Women superficially look for different things in a guy. Women have lists, many things are conscious and other things are subconscious, and normally women are granted with many options of men in which they project these qualities each individual woman has in mind.
Are following me until this point? Ok, so what do these qualities mean?
Let’s take a look at general things that primarily women look in men:
Stability
This one is possibly the biggest. Stability could mean a lot of things. But all of things can be summed up in one single question: What is his current condition?
Mentally, the guy may seem completely fine. He has confidence, or some level of it. He may be shy, but he is quite smart and creative within his own introspection. He is capable of carrying a good conversation. These are examples of what they may perceive as mental stability.
He is working part time. Or he is majoring a career. He is washing cars, or serving at restaurants, but he is getting a diploma in “X” particular thing… You get it. It all comes down to his level of ambition, or at least, his concern in not conforming to something. This is not necessarily a consideration for “how much he can provide?” but it may as well be. It’s about professional stability too.
That last point could be directly connected to social status, especially if he has a high paying job. Social status does enter most girl’s minds. And good to great social status is actually a very sought out value to women. When women claim a guy needs to have confidence, outside of considering mental status, she is also sizing his social status which may indicate possible connections, good social circles, etc.
Now, does appearance matters to women?
Appearance
Yes, of course it matters to women. And a man can help them raise their appearance, in social terms, because it will give them more confidence. Women act primarily by appearance, rather than transparency or accountability.
There’s absolutely no wonder why women are the primary consumers in clothing, and specially shoe industries. Women are very powerful buyers, and it actually goes beyond shoes, but also in several other markets. In regards to shoes, though, it has deep roots in female psychology, and to a much lesser extent male. You can read about it here.
“In this research, it was discussed, what is it that makes shoes often seem so much more personal than other articles of clothing. Obviously, for many people it has to do with comfort, which brings with a sense of well-being. These days we take comfort for granted but for the majority of people well-fitting footwear became possible only with the advent of mass-production. As said McDowell, life is not only a matter of comfort, however, and it is not the fit of shoes but their style that can give us the feeling that we have wings on even if, in reality, we are being crippled. (McDowell 1989, p. 10) Like all clothes, shoes affect our self-esteem.”
Ok, so a man can improve a woman's social appearance (status), but do women care about a guy’s appearance?
Yes, they do, but a guy’s looks are not going to necessarily make a woman stay. It may open the first door, whether it is casual sex or simply a woman’s interest in getting to know him.
Note it has been well documented a guy’s looks signal good genes. Even then, physical looks aren’t the only indicator of good genes. Intelligence and health/longevity all assess good investment indicators for women.
It has nothing to do about your dick size (guys really need to move on from projecting their personal insecurities), and it isn't all about how you look. And even if physical attractiveness can bring huge advantages in dating, it doesn't seem as so much of a leverage for women when entering relationships.
Emotional fulfillment
So here's the cream of the crop for women.
Women act according their own fulfillment. Girls don’t disregard love, romance and affection from the men they are interested in, all which signal WILLINGNESS to stay and comply for the long term.
But does emotional fulfillment only acquaints love and romance?
No, it actually takes everything stated before in consideration. And just as the girl from the question felt frustrated because her boyfriend didn’t offer her a sense of safety, all women consider their relationships according to what they deem as an important quality, and these qualities can supersede romance and love. Emotions are more so related to solipsism.
Ok, so what does the female direction exactly points to?
Stability, comfort, safety, willingness to commit, confidence through male’s personality/achievements… All of this makes a woman secure, and security certainly gives them emotional fulfillment.
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