Emotional Fulfillment: What Women Are Really Looking For In Relationships, Part 1

So I wrote a very extensive take on what men looked for in relationships, and this will be in the same lines at that other one, but I’ll be focusing on what women want. I decided to go into more informative, and reference territory than any of my other takes, and I decided to cut it in two because of how long it got (not very surprising considering this is about women).

Emotional Fulfillment: What Women Are Really Looking For In Relationships, Part 1

Now, before there’s anyone (and I’m looking at you girls) jumping on me, telling me I can’t say all women want all the same in relationships just because I’m basing myself in biology, then this take it’s not going to please you. I believe biology is inherent within every single individual being men or women, and most of our reasoning and decisions come straight from that single principle. Though superficially we may want different things, they all come from the same natural drive.

Emotional Fulfillment: What Women Are Really Looking For In Relationships, Part 1

Disclaimer: I do not count deviations from the rule, being that any other sexual preference that isn’t straight. I also don’t deal with pathology/sociopathy in the takes that I write about, nor I consider them in what it is healthy and straight females and males. Traditional/casual relationships, and natural selection, are all born directly from biology and we are wired with it. And as I said before, you can ignore it, mock it or feel upset about it, but it’s going to follow you as long as you engage in relationships, have a sexual drive and a subconscious interest in fulfilling your biological imperative.

Emotional Fulfillment: What Women Are Really Looking For In Relationships, Part 1

This take may sit better with the guys, but I am very much interested in girls reading and are very welcome in giving their two cents. There’s a lot of confusion from men in trying to really have a grasp of what women want with their partners, and often they are confused of either emotional reactions/responses that females usually have under some situations.

Many men ultimately feeling, frustrated and bitter about women. It is actually a very common sight for men to be taking a route of victimization, and hatred towards women (ironically, not very much unlike feminists towards men). Many men opt out of marriage, and simply stop taking seriously what relationships are about. So girls, it’s important to look at yourselves to work your decisions around that, no matter how much you’d like to avoid having a mirror facing you.

Emotional Fulfillment: What Women Are Really Looking For In Relationships, Part 1

Here’s an extract of what a women wrote in a gag question, which prompted me to write this:

“He and I have a three year old and I'm 18 weeks pregnant. My daughter isn't his biologically, but she may as well be, and I am hugely protective of my family. There isn't a length I wouldn't go to... but sometimes I feel I'm on my own with that. Physically, my boyfriend is bigger and stronger than I am, but he doesn't make me feel safe, and sometimes I do need to feel that.
I feel like if someone ever broke into our home, I'd be on my own with that. I'd go for it, anyone would, but it's not a nice thought.
We rarely solve anything when we argue. He ends up walking away, and I back down because I feel too guilty. It's like kicking a puppy.
I don't feel like this all he time, but occasionally I get frustrated. Sometimes I just want/need some assertion from him, but it's just never there.”

As I have mentioned before, women are by nature very directional creatures. This that this girl wrote here, and I mean no offense in the slightest, is very basic and common female thinking. It’s a directional thought process.

Women superficially look for different things in a guy. Women have lists, many things are conscious and other things are subconscious, and normally women are granted with many options of men in which they project these qualities each individual woman has in mind.

Are following me until this point? Ok, so what do these qualities mean?

Let’s take a look at general things that primarily women look in men:

Emotional Fulfillment: What Women Are Really Looking For In Relationships, Part 1


This one is possibly the biggest. Stability could mean a lot of things. But all of things can be summed up in one single question: What is his current condition?

Mentally, the guy may seem completely fine. He has confidence, or some level of it. He may be shy, but he is quite smart and creative within his own introspection. He is capable of carrying a good conversation. These are examples of what they may perceive as mental stability.

He is working part time. Or he is majoring a career. He is washing cars, or serving at restaurants, but he is getting a diploma in “X” particular thing… You get it. It all comes down to his level of ambition, or at least, his concern in not conforming to something. This is not necessarily a consideration for “how much he can provide?” but it may as well be. It’s about professional stability too.

That last point could be directly connected to social status, especially if he has a high paying job. Social status does enter most girl’s minds. And good to great social status is actually a very sought out value to women. When women claim a guy needs to have confidence, outside of considering mental status, she is also sizing his social status which may indicate possible connections, good social circles, etc.

Now, does appearance matters to women?

Emotional Fulfillment: What Women Are Really Looking For In Relationships, Part 1


Yes, of course it matters to women. And a man can help them raise their appearance, in social terms, because it will give them more confidence. Women act primarily by appearance, rather than transparency or accountability.

There’s absolutely no wonder why women are the primary consumers in clothing, and specially shoe industries. Women are very powerful buyers, and it actually goes beyond shoes, but also in several other markets. In regards to shoes, though, it has deep roots in female psychology, and to a much lesser extent male. You can read about it here.

Emotional Fulfillment: What Women Are Really Looking For In Relationships, Part 1

“In this research, it was discussed, what is it that makes shoes often seem so much more personal than other articles of clothing. Obviously, for many people it has to do with comfort, which brings with a sense of well-being. These days we take comfort for granted but for the majority of people well-fitting footwear became possible only with the advent of mass-production. As said McDowell, life is not only a matter of comfort, however, and it is not the fit of shoes but their style that can give us the feeling that we have wings on even if, in reality, we are being crippled. (McDowell 1989, p. 10) Like all clothes, shoes affect our self-esteem.”

Ok, so a man can improve a woman's social appearance (status), but do women care about a guy’s appearance?

Emotional Fulfillment: What Women Are Really Looking For In Relationships, Part 1

Yes, they do, but a guy’s looks are not going to necessarily make a woman stay. It may open the first door, whether it is casual sex or simply a woman’s interest in getting to know him.

Note it has been well documented a guy’s looks signal good genes. Even then, physical looks aren’t the only indicator of good genes. Intelligence and health/longevity all assess good investment indicators for women.

It has nothing to do about your dick size (guys really need to move on from projecting their personal insecurities), and it isn't all about how you look. And even if physical attractiveness can bring huge advantages in dating, it doesn't seem as so much of a leverage for women when entering relationships.

Emotional Fulfillment: What Women Are Really Looking For In Relationships, Part 1

Emotional fulfillment

So here's the cream of the crop for women.

Women act according their own fulfillment. Girls don’t disregard love, romance and affection from the men they are interested in, all which signal WILLINGNESS to stay and comply for the long term.

But does emotional fulfillment only acquaints love and romance?

No, it actually takes everything stated before in consideration. And just as the girl from the question felt frustrated because her boyfriend didn’t offer her a sense of safety, all women consider their relationships according to what they deem as an important quality, and these qualities can supersede romance and love. Emotions are more so related to solipsism.

Ok, so what does the female direction exactly points to?

Stability, comfort, safety, willingness to commit, confidence through male’s personality/achievements… All of this makes a woman secure, and security certainly gives them emotional fulfillment.

Emotional Fulfillment: What Women Are Really Looking For In Relationships, Part 1
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Most Helpful Guy

  • alphadoggystyle

    yeah most of this is well known by most guys after some experience, honestly it makes it hard to respect women and hard to entertain the thought of loving them when we know how conditional their affection is, its essentially, what a guy can do for them in addition to sex, while guys look for women just to be with them and for sex.

    Its very primitive but we all know the reason why women are like this, and the biological reason is because women are less capable of achieving things for themselves, so they look for a man to do it for them.

    Is this still revelant?
    • "how conditional their affection is, its essentially, what a guy can do for them in addition to sex, while guys look for women just to be with them and for sex. "

      That's the big tragedy right there. And definitely, my intention was simply to expose this to other guys. I'm definitely going to still write a part two, but I really want to help out guys who still believe women do it all for dick and fucking, you know.

      As for your second point, a good example would be looking at wage statistics; Women spend less time at work, don't do extra hours for the most part, don't ask for raises, opt less for hectic schedules, etc... Women simply prefer to stay at home, and with their kids if they have any. Men are more agressive towards their goals. It's all out there, people just prefer to ignore the facts.

    • yep, preach, red pillers are getting more common by the day, this is not going to last in the long run but unfortunately due to this female nature of hypergamy, increasing numbers of men are going to start to ignore women. And when virtual reality sex etc and artificial wombs start to become available at large, then things are going to become much worse for women, their nature won't really change (maybe eventually after many generations of sexual selection) but they will have to make more of an effort to even get a man at that point, and politicians won't cater to them as much when they dont control the population size with reproductive rights any longer. So women will be less independent without government aid and men will give them less attention thanks to alternative ways to get sex.

    • AriadneSky

      @Women spend less time at work,

      not all women have kids, so saying women prefer being at home is incoherent.. . also taking care of kids is work. they are not 'not working'. and of men stayed home more those women could work more.

    • Show All

Most Helpful Girl

  • Albina_Lovely

    I personally don't care about appearance and believe that it's best to leave it to the comfort level of a guy.

    As for stability, I would prefer him to be happy with whatever he does. May that be a manager of a store or a carpenter. He is happy with his career even if he doesn't like the people he works with.

    Is this still revelant?

What Girls & Guys Said

  • ModernDayCrusader

    Money makes a woman love you. Makes them feel comfortable, secure, confident , and it signals the achievement of the male.

    The older I get, the more materialistic the women around me become. I can't wait until these women begin to value other things just as much

    • You should look for the term "hypergamy".

      Problem is they aren't wired to value other things just as much as security.

  • Jager66

    "All of this makes a woman secure, and security certainly gives them emotional fulfillment."

    This is fine and all, if it's true that's cool, but it's interesting to me because security is 100% non fulfilling to me, security can even be soul crushing in my opinion, because it's at best an illusion and at worst suffocating.

    The differences between the genders, at times, can be mind boggling.

    • "The differences between the genders, at times, can be mind boggling"


      Guy get in relationships for very different reasons. How a girl is physically, sex, love, personality/having a good time... Men and women aren't compatible for this very thing you said.

    • AriadneSky

      security is important to human beings. thats why we have society and wars. #homelandsecurity is not a female invention.

      what you're calling security is someone smothering you. healthy people dont like that. additiionally if that 'kind' of secirity bothers you you clearly culdnt giver it either. so if thats what women actually wanted and men didn't relationships wouldn't happen.

      everyone values security. like the confidence you won't be cheated on or killed by your partner in the middl;e of the night. or the security in knowing what direction things are or are not going in. the security in knowing she doesn't have aids. you're delusional if you think any human doesn't want to feel secure. why work or take care of yourself at all.

    • AriadneSky

      @How a girl is physically, sex, love, personality/having a good time.

      this is why most people get into romantic relationships. otherwise you just have best friends.

      but even 'love;' involves 'trust' which is security.

    • Show All
  • EmpatheticLady

    ... oh, sweet Jesus, there IS a reason I love shoes so much. XD

    And yes, those few things are what most women think of when looking at or for a partner.

    • Is that really surprising? xD

      There are still a few things I'd like to add, which will be in part 2, though. :P

    • I mean, they're just so pretty. :D

      Haha, of course. Us women are such complicated individuals. :P

    • Looking pretty good there, by the way. ;)

    • Show All
  • archiz

    Well yea...
    I thought it was obvious that comfort, trust and security are main qualities we re looking for in a guy.
    Honestly the last paragraph sums it all in a very clear obvious way.

    • Trust me, some men are deluded thinking women want to "love" them for their dicks and the crappy sex they're giving. I've learned many men go around projecting their male nature onto women.

  • CorvetteGirl

    Nice take.
    Hey- can you follow me so we can continue talking? I like talking to you

    • Sure. How's it going btw? I don't have my profile private, so I'm not sure why you aren't able to message me.

  • idiotmanchild

    Yea right, most girls don't give a damn about stability until theyve been through their share of adventurous instability...

    • I don't (or haven't) denied what you said, so I don't understand the condescension here.

  • TheTruthHurtsImSorry

    1) Money
    2) Half of what YOU own in the divorce.
    3) Custody of the kids
    4) Child support
    5) ?
    6) Money

  • MargaritaPeach

    Very well written.

  • Keepcalm89

    I really want a reason to suit up like that guy there in the picture. I want to dress up in that style everyday.

    • Swano

      Good take and I really like the disclaimer as I assumed people are deviating from their biology

  • Alex88F

    what is manly in 2016? Ambition. that's all that matters to me

  • Luci92

    Solid take, accurate for most women. Good job!

  • CancerianMan81

    I'm so sick and tired about what women want

  • RainbowFanGirl

    Pretty much.

  • Music_Hangover


  • Sexualchrist

    Bullshit, they just want the D and they love it

  • Pacificblue62

    The first girl and last girl are amazing cute.

  • Anonymous

    Women see men as utility

  • Anonymous

    "It has nothing to do about your dick size"


    No woman WANTS a guy who is below average. At best they might settle for him if he has enough money.

    • You're deluded if you think your size of dick is relevant for a female looking to commit and secure her spot. She's looking for more ambitious, and self centrist stuff rather than that. You are projecting your insecurities in your relationships. Beware of this.
      I'm trying to warn guys of female nature. But if you are getting in relationships thinking she has your dick size on her top priorities, you're still a long way of understanding their nature, and their prerogatives.

    • Anonymous

      She will still cheat on me if my dick isn't big enough for her.

    • You're very self obsessed by your dick, so assuming you had bad experiences about it, it all comes down to projection. You should try to read between the lines here. Women aren't pushing to get men married because the sizes of their dicks, they do it because their imperative is securing the man because she believes it will secure herself. Nor they cheat because another guy started flopping his big cock on her face, but because women are on the lookout for better deals in terma of emotional fulfilment (look what emotional fulfillment is to a woman). I'm really telling you this with the best of intentions, if you are interested in being with women stop being so naive, and stop projecting your nature into women. If you aren't interested, then you are doing a hell of a job.

  • Anonymous

    Some things might be true