Disclaimer: If it feels I’m beating a dead horse, I’m sorry but not sorry, since this is my preferred perspective to see relationships, through female and male behavior. At the same time, my focus on each of these takes is to open up a new subject and dwell on it a bit to fully understand what is going on and why people do the things they do inside of relationships, and where the dissatisfaction comes from (this may be my last one along these lines, though).
Guys particularly, have always wondered what females really go through in their heads, and I would suggest anyone who ever has an interest in understanding women to use something as primal as biology because many answers come through it. But at the same time is important to understand where you, as a guy, are coming from as well.
So I’m registered in other forums, and I usually discuss several other topics besides relationships. My whole array of topics was initially of religion, music, and to a very superficial extent politics in which I sometimes struggle to understand. Given my current interest in analyzing relationships from what biology tells us, and deconstructing female and male nature, I posted something very similar to what I wrote in one of my takes in another forum, and I got the following answer from someone:
“doesn’t matter if she’s from asia or Europe all women are the same… they all want the same thing and truly are a fucking waste of time that’s why I prefer to pay for hookers and then I want them to shut the fuck up and leave is all I want”
Now, before I get into it, I have to say he is right in what he mentioned first. Regardless of where women are from, their own set of values determined under their culture, and their religion or lack of isn’t relevant to what it means women acting according to their directionality.
As a guy, you need to understand that even if you get out from the US to Thailand for example, to get an Asian woman, much more than the struggle you are going to have in culture differences, you are still getting the exact same woman who is driven by biology, the same way an American woman would. There’s no going around that. I wrote a very extensive take on this, and you can read it here.
In regards to his second statement, I believe it’s flawed to the core. And if that guy actually believes in what he says, he’s going to face a lot of frustration and emptiness within.
Masturbation is nothing more than release. When a man sits in front of his computer for hours complying all of his sexual fantasies from all these different women he is getting only physical release. This is in no way different than when he is paying a hooker to have sex with her.
See, the problem with men doing this is that paying for prostitutes, though I’m in NO way judging these men, is going to leave them very empty and ultimately more frustrated. As much as you think you are depersonalizing her to have sex with her, you are actually paying someone else to depersonalize you. She’s only doing it for the money, not because she actually wants it.
It’s her job, and all in all is a very sterile transaction, nothing more. So basically, fucking a prostitute is nothing more than getting physical release.
Disclaimer #2: Before moving on; Girls, there is NO such thing as rape culture. Men don’t go around raping women, or ever feel a desire to do it at all. Around 6% of the male population are actual, or potential rapists. Even though this quantity is sufficient enough to cause many cases of actual rape, unfortunately, needless to say the majority of men worldwide aren’t rapists or psychopaths. So forget about “rape culture”, because men are not looking for sex, less by enforcement and violence.
So what ingredient is missing here? As I have said multiple times: Female validation.
The first time I ever heard of that term, it was on a reddit forum (you can actually google validation reddit to see those forums), and I had no clue what those guys were talking about. The moment I read the posts and go through the replies, I notice one guy wrote: “What the fuck is happening here?” and I laughed because it was my immediate reaction as well.
I’ve made enough research to fully get a hold of what female validation truly is, which is male nourishment. They also talk about females being validated by males, but as I explained in another take nothing is further from the truth.
“Lol gtfo dude” is what many men think initially. But if you are a healthy average male, and you claim you don’t do things to get female attention, and you don’t attempt to either impress or seduce women, you are pretty much lying to yourself, because all of healthy men do.
Men are looking for validation. And true satisfaction from a guy does not come from release, either masturbation or paying prostitutes, but it comes from women giving them either sexual attention, or even love. Reciprocation is key to make the sex act more than just physical release, and without it, a man will feel rather empty.
I remember I was with my then girlfriend at a wedding. I sat with her and looked at the groom first, he was pretty much what you can call an average guy, nothing to write home about. Then I saw the bride, and I immediately thought, and this crosses my mind in seconds, “Damn, I wouldn’t give my life for a woman like her”. Even the way she talked was unattractive to me. Moments later I see the groom talking to one of the bridesmaids, who I understand was a friend’s from the bride, and immediately I think, “wow she is hot, holy shit!”.
So I go to my girlfriend and I tell her “hey babe, look at that bridesmaid who is talking to the groom. Ten bucks he would actually have sex with her even though he is marrying right now. He will leave his marriage right in the spot”. She basically snapped at me and asked me how I could even be thinking about that, if that was such an important day to them and blah, blah, and I go “Well, it’s the truth. Any guy who wouldn’t bang her would be crazy, it’s normal at least for it to cross his mind”. Zero fucks were given from me that day.
To women, this thinking is repulsive and pretty much foreign. But of course, any guy including that groom would probably have sex with that girl, or at least try to seduce her because we are wired for it. It’s like men are under this spell, which drives them to seek female attention (the ones each individual is attracted to), to basically either sleep with her or get in a relationship with her (remember what I talked about parallel relationships). Because female validation is something that is intrinsic to every healthy guy.
Marriage, monogamy, long term commitment… these are words that make most women wet, even more so than their actual partners touching them. The big ceremony, the limousines, the cameramen, the flashy dresses, and guys all dressed up is all female construct, and female projection.
Males don’t care about any of those things, because after the honeymoon phase passes, and a guy isn’t getting validation from his wife/current female he will most probably look elsewhere, or at least seriously consider it. Because no matter how much he is committed to being monogamous, he will feel frustrated because the female directionality, and her satisfaction isn't his (again, all explained here).
Men may actually want love, and affection from one female. And if they can get away with it (and depending how really willing they are in suppressing their urges), they may even do it with several females, but it all comes down from getting that nourishment from them. Being desired by females is enough to make motivational level rises.
For some men (not saying all men are loving and caring), being in love, encapsulated in sexual fulfillment, is pretty much anti-depressant. When females give in to seduction, and she develops desire in her man, it will fulfill a man and his masculinity. The “all men want is sex” is a lie, because it doesn’t represent nourishment.
So you guys need to go out and find females, you are going to get to know them, and you are going to seduce them or try to until she gives in to you (though in terms of commitment, you will be saying yes to her rather), regardless if you're looking for love or validation through sex. There is no other source of female validation, and this is what I'm trying to tell you. You can mock it, or simply ignore it. But just as directionality is to women, validation is to men, and it will follow you as long as you have sexual drive which will be a long time.
What happens when you go to McDonald’s and eat burgers for weeks? You may feel bloated, you may feel something similar to satisfaction, but what really happens? You’re getting fat, and you aren’t getting proper nutrition. And this happens to men who are neglected by their partners mostly sexually, pay for hookers, or masturbate for long periods of time without getting any sort of reciprocation from a woman.