Male Nourishment: What Men are Really Looking For in Relationships

Disclaimer: If it feels I’m beating a dead horse, I’m sorry but not sorry, since this is my preferred perspective to see relationships, through female and male behavior. At the same time, my focus on each of these takes is to open up a new subject and dwell on it a bit to fully understand what is going on and why people do the things they do inside of relationships, and where the dissatisfaction comes from (this may be my last one along these lines, though).

Male Nourishment: What Men are Really Looking For in Relationships

Guys particularly, have always wondered what females really go through in their heads, and I would suggest anyone who ever has an interest in understanding women to use something as primal as biology because many answers come through it. But at the same time is important to understand where you, as a guy, are coming from as well.

Male Nourishment: What Men are Really Looking For in Relationships

So I’m registered in other forums, and I usually discuss several other topics besides relationships. My whole array of topics was initially of religion, music, and to a very superficial extent politics in which I sometimes struggle to understand. Given my current interest in analyzing relationships from what biology tells us, and deconstructing female and male nature, I posted something very similar to what I wrote in one of my takes in another forum, and I got the following answer from someone:

“doesn’t matter if she’s from asia or Europe all women are the same… they all want the same thing and truly are a fucking waste of time that’s why I prefer to pay for hookers and then I want them to shut the fuck up and leave is all I want”

Male Nourishment: What Men are Really Looking For in Relationships

Now, before I get into it, I have to say he is right in what he mentioned first. Regardless of where women are from, their own set of values determined under their culture, and their religion or lack of isn’t relevant to what it means women acting according to their directionality.

As a guy, you need to understand that even if you get out from the US to Thailand for example, to get an Asian woman, much more than the struggle you are going to have in culture differences, you are still getting the exact same woman who is driven by biology, the same way an American woman would. There’s no going around that. I wrote a very extensive take on this, and you can read it here.

In regards to his second statement, I believe it’s flawed to the core. And if that guy actually believes in what he says, he’s going to face a lot of frustration and emptiness within.

Male Nourishment: What Men are Really Looking For in Relationships

Masturbation is nothing more than release. When a man sits in front of his computer for hours complying all of his sexual fantasies from all these different women he is getting only physical release. This is in no way different than when he is paying a hooker to have sex with her.

See, the problem with men doing this is that paying for prostitutes, though I’m in NO way judging these men, is going to leave them very empty and ultimately more frustrated. As much as you think you are depersonalizing her to have sex with her, you are actually paying someone else to depersonalize you. She’s only doing it for the money, not because she actually wants it.

It’s her job, and all in all is a very sterile transaction, nothing more. So basically, fucking a prostitute is nothing more than getting physical release.

Male Nourishment: What Men are Really Looking For in Relationships

Disclaimer #2: Before moving on; Girls, there is NO such thing as rape culture. Men don’t go around raping women, or ever feel a desire to do it at all. Around 6% of the male population are actual, or potential rapists. Even though this quantity is sufficient enough to cause many cases of actual rape, unfortunately, needless to say the majority of men worldwide aren’t rapists or psychopaths. So forget about “rape culture”, because men are not looking for sex, less by enforcement and violence.

Male Nourishment: What Men are Really Looking For in Relationships

So what ingredient is missing here? As I have said multiple times: Female validation.

The first time I ever heard of that term, it was on a reddit forum (you can actually google validation reddit to see those forums), and I had no clue what those guys were talking about. The moment I read the posts and go through the replies, I notice one guy wrote: “What the fuck is happening here?” and I laughed because it was my immediate reaction as well.

I’ve made enough research to fully get a hold of what female validation truly is, which is male nourishment. They also talk about females being validated by males, but as I explained in another take nothing is further from the truth.

Male Nourishment: What Men are Really Looking For in Relationships

“Lol gtfo dude” is what many men think initially. But if you are a healthy average male, and you claim you don’t do things to get female attention, and you don’t attempt to either impress or seduce women, you are pretty much lying to yourself, because all of healthy men do.

Men are looking for validation. And true satisfaction from a guy does not come from release, either masturbation or paying prostitutes, but it comes from women giving them either sexual attention, or even love. Reciprocation is key to make the sex act more than just physical release, and without it, a man will feel rather empty.

Male Nourishment: What Men are Really Looking For in Relationships

I remember I was with my then girlfriend at a wedding. I sat with her and looked at the groom first, he was pretty much what you can call an average guy, nothing to write home about. Then I saw the bride, and I immediately thought, and this crosses my mind in seconds, “Damn, I wouldn’t give my life for a woman like her”. Even the way she talked was unattractive to me. Moments later I see the groom talking to one of the bridesmaids, who I understand was a friend’s from the bride, and immediately I think, “wow she is hot, holy shit!”.

Male Nourishment: What Men are Really Looking For in Relationships

So I go to my girlfriend and I tell her “hey babe, look at that bridesmaid who is talking to the groom. Ten bucks he would actually have sex with her even though he is marrying right now. He will leave his marriage right in the spot”. She basically snapped at me and asked me how I could even be thinking about that, if that was such an important day to them and blah, blah, and I go “Well, it’s the truth. Any guy who wouldn’t bang her would be crazy, it’s normal at least for it to cross his mind”. Zero fucks were given from me that day.

Male Nourishment: What Men are Really Looking For in Relationships

To women, this thinking is repulsive and pretty much foreign. But of course, any guy including that groom would probably have sex with that girl, or at least try to seduce her because we are wired for it. It’s like men are under this spell, which drives them to seek female attention (the ones each individual is attracted to), to basically either sleep with her or get in a relationship with her (remember what I talked about parallel relationships). Because female validation is something that is intrinsic to every healthy guy.

Male Nourishment: What Men are Really Looking For in Relationships

Marriage, monogamy, long term commitment… these are words that make most women wet, even more so than their actual partners touching them. The big ceremony, the limousines, the cameramen, the flashy dresses, and guys all dressed up is all female construct, and female projection.

Males don’t care about any of those things, because after the honeymoon phase passes, and a guy isn’t getting validation from his wife/current female he will most probably look elsewhere, or at least seriously consider it. Because no matter how much he is committed to being monogamous, he will feel frustrated because the female directionality, and her satisfaction isn't his (again, all explained here).

Male Nourishment: What Men are Really Looking For in Relationships

Men may actually want love, and affection from one female. And if they can get away with it (and depending how really willing they are in suppressing their urges), they may even do it with several females, but it all comes down from getting that nourishment from them. Being desired by females is enough to make motivational level rises.

For some men (not saying all men are loving and caring), being in love, encapsulated in sexual fulfillment, is pretty much anti-depressant. When females give in to seduction, and she develops desire in her man, it will fulfill a man and his masculinity. The “all men want is sex” is a lie, because it doesn’t represent nourishment.

Male Nourishment: What Men are Really Looking For in Relationships

So you guys need to go out and find females, you are going to get to know them, and you are going to seduce them or try to until she gives in to you (though in terms of commitment, you will be saying yes to her rather), regardless if you're looking for love or validation through sex. There is no other source of female validation, and this is what I'm trying to tell you. You can mock it, or simply ignore it. But just as directionality is to women, validation is to men, and it will follow you as long as you have sexual drive which will be a long time.

What happens when you go to McDonald’s and eat burgers for weeks? You may feel bloated, you may feel something similar to satisfaction, but what really happens? You’re getting fat, and you aren’t getting proper nutrition. And this happens to men who are neglected by their partners mostly sexually, pay for hookers, or masturbate for long periods of time without getting any sort of reciprocation from a woman.

Male Nourishment: What Men are Really Looking For in Relationships
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Most Helpful Guy

  • meatballs21
    Citizenkaneclapping. gif

    Could not have said it better myself.

    After my breakup with a girl I'd spent over a decade with, in a relationship that had become the sexless roommates/brother and sister doldrums, I found myself single and dating again.

    Words cannot express how it felt the first time I was with a new woman again. After so many years, to feel sexy, desired, wanted. Any doubt I'd had about ending things were gone, because I realized I would never have felt these feelings again if I hadn't gone through with it.
    Is this still revelant?
    • "Words cannot express how it felt the first time I was with a new woman again. After so many years, to feel sexy, desired, wanted"

      I'm sorry to hear you were put to through the ringer to experience this, but I'm glad you made it and were able to experience that satisfaction again.

      Women think men don't need to be desired, and that a few months/years of giving sexual pleasure is enough. When they ask for their men to commit and give up several things for the long haul, they do not consider they need to provide men of this if they actually want a healthy and stable relationship. This is why I say that there is no compatibility between men and women, biologically speaking.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Triss
    This is actually a take that should be published in a relationship tips book. I really enjoyed reading this. Good job
    Is this still revelant?
    • That's quite the compliment! I'm glad you enjoyed it 😊

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What Girls & Guys Said

97
  • coachTanthony
    That was a damn good read. I just tweeted it. Great job. Loved it.
  • ModernDayCrusader
    Great take!
    yeah I just want female validation!
    It feels good to finally have the right words

    Most guys would agree with you. Sex is awesome, but its easy to bust a nut, finding a girl that is awesome and makes us feel validated is where its at!
    • Comments like this are the reason why I enjoyed articulating all of these things. Thanks!

  • AriadneSky
    you can't understand people bc you know 'biology' biology includes every part of development society experience. what makes us us, uniquely. i agree you have to get to know someone to know them.

    anyhow, don't think its repulsive to wonder if someone would fuck someone. its just a thought. ands the idea of marriage doesn't make me wet.

    of course guys don't just want sex. obviously. humans need way more than sex. if guys just wanted sex they'd be dead bc they'd forget about everything else.
    • "you can't understand people bc you know 'biology""
      The very reason why people get in relationships in the first place is to fulfill their biological drives. The expectations or requirements a woman puts in a man defer from one to another, but the drive and directionality is the same. Whether a guy prefers them redheads, or skinny, and other likes them fit and tanned doesn't take away their biological drive to date, or mate with these women.

      "the idea of marriage doesn't make me wet."
      Commitment from the man you want (assuming you are straight) will. Maybe not now because you are young, but you'll get there.

      "of course guys don't just want sex. obviously. humans need way more than sex. if guys just wanted sex they'd be dead bc they'd forget about everything else."

      Tell that to women to love to portray this idea, and women who still are surprised to hear about this.

  • candyaurora
    So if I give validation and sexual fulfillment to my husband he won't seek or look at other women?
    • shawnski

      I have never cheated on my wife but that's right on. You don't need to be a super model, a pro chef but if you keep him happy sexually he ( most likely) will never look else where. I can personally say that when I'm taken care of in the bedroom mg thoughts r totally changed than otherwise

    • You have more chances of having a completely satisfied man. Sure, encourage him in his job, and in his hobbies and all of that (which are all forms of validation), but when you neglect a guy sexually it will drive him to severe frustration. Guys aren't girlfriends, they aren't women.

      Though it's not a sureshot that he won't cheat, as it depends on how really is his personal commitment of being monogamous, it's less likely for him to engage in parallel relationship and for him to suppress his nature.

      And some women go out and have coffees with their men, they make their men do favors for them, and they don't let them have opinions, and being honest about their own desires. These women treat men like girlfriends, and men need intensity and fullfillment in their sexual lives, whether monogamous or polygamous, to really feel satisfied and reciprocated for providing, and protecting their women, and loving them as well.

    • Ok thank you for your advice. I will keep this in mind when I get married as I do want to have a satisfied husband having eyes only for me 😊

    • Show All
  • EmpatheticLady
    Yet again, look at you clearly articulating your thoughts. 😉 Makes sense enough to me. I think more guys and girls need to read this.
    • Thank you brochips! 😜

    • You're welcome, bro-seph, bro-han, bro-heim, etc... The bro list could go on and on forever. :D

  • RelentlessGoals
    lol @ the girls that are surprised about this. They can't believe they have to do more than give a guy a blowjob to make them happy.
  • Flames_864
    Where are these men you speak of? Clearly they are hiding.
    • I don't know what you're talking about, but all men are exactly like this.

      Take this info to heart, it's worth a dollar.

    • We are everywhere I just got asked to have sex and turned it down because I would rather have a relationship with that girl than sex some validation

    • Flames_864

      @Fortunateson01 I guess I'll keep looking.

  • COCOCHANEL
    when you say men seek love and validation from one woman what do you mean? can you describe and give examples?
  • Harpesian
    Apparently I'm not a man.

    I feel like I've reached this conclusion more than once on this site.
  • Jeeevan
    Good myTake :)
  • Allmenarecheap
    They want cheap sex
    • It's rather cheaper having sex with a prostitute than committing to a woman, how ironic. Yet it doesn't satisfy men, and that's why women are successful in pulling men into their directionality.

    • No, only the type of guys you seek want cheap sex... the ones that don't are just invisible to you, or you are not attracted to them.

  • tiffy96
    So true. Totally agree.
  • Anonymous
    You mean men can’t have healthy relationships with women they simply use and discard for their own sexual release? Gee, you don’t fucking say.

    You’re confusing needing validation with simply wanting to feel appreciated in a relationship; there’s a big difference. The latter is normal and understandable, the former is something that only the most insecure/immature men demand from their partners. Validation has to come from within; if you need constant female attention in order to feel good about yourself then clearly you’ve got some issues. You CANNOT make your significant other responsible for essentially fixing YOUR insecurities. That’s just really unfair to them. Also, your girlfriend has a life; one that doesn’t always revolve around you. If you can’t empathize with her on that and maybe cut her some slack every once in a while, then yeah, you’re going to be unhappy. But again, that’s your problem, not hers. Women aren’t always to blame for a man’s dissatisfaction in his relationship; try to remember that.
    • Refrain from condescending bullshit and sarcasm if you want to keep commenting.

      "You’re confusing needing validation with simply wanting to feel appreciated in a relationship; there’s a big difference."

      You're missing the point here, simply "wanting to feel appreciated" isn't the same when validation is a natural male drive.

      "the former is something that only the most insecure/immature men demand from their partners."

      Women believe like this, and that's why marriages fail. You're too busy looking at your own directionality.

      I'm basing myself on male nature, and the guys agreeing, and men who have wrote me thanking me personally would disagree as well. What you're doing here, rather than referring for every single argument and logic I propose, is simply throw some sort of blame on me.

    • This is a self defense mechanism you are using, and that's you. If you refuse the information here that's up to you, disagree all you want. But at least give me logical answers rather than coming here throwing some sort of made up blame on me, because manipulation tactics are harmless to me. I only respond with normal level-headed discussions, as I have had with other commenters.

      "Women aren’t always to blame for a man’s dissatisfaction in his relationship; try to remember that."

      Where have I ever blame women for ALL problems in relationships? I'm simply exposing lack of compatibility between men and women. And again, this way of yours of pointing fingers, and making false assumptions are pretty much null to me, it ain't going to work.

      You may keep living without any sort of accountability in your relationships. That's up to you. Do as you please with this information I'm giving to you.

  • Anonymous
    Well, not all men have a high libido and not all men prize sex above everything else, including companionship, home cooked meals, a family...
    Being with someone is not just about sex or what YOU feel unilaterally. Not every man thinks about banging the bridesmaid on their wedding day.
    • An average healthy male will see sex as the main form of getting validation. A home cooked meal is nice, but won't sustain a marriage. A family also won't make automatically a marriage sustainable for a man, maybe for a woman because that's her biological imperative. Companionship sinply won't be enough for a man without any form of validation. The reason men are agreeing to this isn't becuse of what I fell unilaterally, mind you. But because your biological drives aren't the same of the man, and what you do is project your own on a man.

    • The last two girls I've been in a serious relationship had HIGHER sex drives then me. My isn't necessary low, but there was something I was doing (not bragging) that made them want more and more.

      I feel like the male sex drive is often overestimated and the female sex drive is often underestimated. But they have different ways of being ignited.

    • @sdistotallyme I've spoke about how female sexuality can be developed. "ignited' is a pretty good way to call it, actually. I also believe women can get sexually addicted to a man, but a man has to ignite that pretty much. Not to brag myself, but I know where you're coming from. Though the take isn't about it, I mentioned that here in case you're interested: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a30676-male-projection-why-guys-care-so-much-about-the-number-of-sexual

      As for males, though, while testosterone levels vary from guy to guy, naturally men will look validation through sex.

  • Anonymous
    Would men be willing to be in relationship if women would only have sex with you if you marry them?
    • I think men get in relationships because, other than a sincere and instinctual motivation to protect and provide, they think they are going to have their needs and desires met.

      What men often disregard is female nature, and how their directionality is completely different from that of a man. The reason why men sign that contract in the first place, is because women need monogamy and commitment because it gives them security and to their potential offspring, biologically speaking. Female directionality, i. e. marriage, doesn't take male's drives and desires in consideration. And many men fall into the trap thinking they are going to be satisfied forever and ever.

      I'm really happy for those men who marry, and I wish them the best. But the moment men realize they are saying yes to their women, rather than the other way around, they'll see marriage aren't made to satisfy a man's biological imperative, but that of a female's.

    • AriadneSky

      #legsnsheets

      men created marriage. you realize that right... it wasn't a woman's wet dream. it was her prison.

      as for security. social security is a need humans have not women. and relying on one person is not fruitful. people die grow apart. its not an optimal environment for a child in any way. pairing relationships are based on desire for property , not psychological desire for companionship.

      many men grow up wanting marriage many women dont. you can't understands a persons desire just by knowing their genitals. if me did not want marriage they wouldn't do it. they'd just date different women. no one will marry just to have needs met if they dont want to marry bc that'd a need not being met. the need to not marry. guys say they dont want marriage bc it makes them look more valuable. its a form of playing hard to get. its not a great directional dffference just a lie. if guys didn't want marriage they wouldn't propose.

    • @AriadneSky hahahaha so according to you, marriage is a prison to women. xD
      That's just hysterical. Marriage was made by men, and in many cultures to be polygamous, but it has over time become into something monogamous. The current laws on divorce, aren't the same as the old laws on marriage. How jews viewed marriage in the Old Testament for example, wasn't designed the way it is now. Modern marriage are born of what it is the female directionality, for women to specifically have a family and for men to provide in an OBLIGATORY way to her offspring, and to her. Sharing and often going in the female's favor UTILITY. This is fundamentally, the current state of marriages. And the state uses marriages for profit. It also endorses hypergamy, and many other things that are by default gynocentric.

      Many men and women opt out of marriages, and I explained this in one of my other takes: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a30612-idealized-traditionalism-what-it-really-is-where-it-comes-from

  • Anonymous
    Great take
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