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The Ultimate Guide for Smart Men to Choose a Woman (from a Woman). (Page 3)
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why is always being late bad?
cause common decency. also incogruency is usually a bit more than just that. its incogruency in words, promises, professional deadlines, conflict of personal opinions and ideas, contradiction between theory and action, laziness etc.
i see ｡ﾟ (ﾟ´ω`ﾟ) ﾟ｡
how can i fix it?
by practicing the opposite. add a program in your life and follow it faithfully. wake a specific hour. eat at specific times. put shortterm goals and realise them. whenever you are bored to get out of bed go do some jogging. take action in the exact opposite direction of your laziness and unpunctuality. be congruent between what you want, what you say and what you do.
i have tried but i can't seem to. i have a lot of trouble sleeping early and therefore can't wake up early. if i don't get enough sleep my heart murmur acts up during the day (been hospitalized for it in the past, can't be controlled with meds/surgery) for this reason can't take sleep pills or engage in cardio.
this complex medical condition make it a special case. well i'm certain there are naturopathic doctors out there that can help you. this health issues aside, i think your thoughts, and actions are to a degree your choice and totally controllable. think of it as a muscle. it develops with time.
i like naturopathic medicine, i'll try to find one. it's been a huge problem in my life for many years. i am late to everything not just appointments with people.
@COCOCHANEL If you're good enough at what you do, the world will wait for you. ♥️ #ontimeiswhenigetthere
Girls lack discipline, am i right?
no. not right. everything that starts with "a whole gender does X thing" can't be right... .
ah shit you've described me
Sarcasm or just being modest? :))
Nice take.
Every women is has at least one of these traits.
Not everyone most of my friends aren't like that. These are the basics in my opinion.
It seems like they're not like that, but friends don't tell each other everything, especially when it makes them look bad. No matter how close you think you are.
maybe. but maybe not. if it seems so distant to you maybe its you that need to rise up not them to descent to a level you feel more comfortable with.
Do they exist?
Yes they do the problem is if we deserve them..
@Ovidiu-Nicolae there's no problem then.
That's good for you
@Ovidiu-Nicolae thanks :)
Nice take!
So, like no one?
haha why so gloomy and pessimistic? far from noone. but yes, in contrast to the general population size, finding good humans gets a bit depressing. Diogenes went in the middle of the day with a lit lantern in the center of the agora in ancient Athens and was screaming, "where are humans? i can't find a human", which implies its not a modern day problem either... .
Well I just mean for a guy to have all these expectations needing to be met, he also needs to be impossibly perfect. And also I don't believe the thing about make up and dressing scanty. I do both of those things because I like it, yet I've never even kissed a guy before. Humans are imperfections, differences, pasts and experiences. If you had a women who met all these needs, she wouldn't really be human anymore. She'd be a program, a dream.
not exactly. these are basic decency in my opinion. if we find them so utopian it says a lot about where we currently stand spiritually as a civilization. as for dressing scantily and overmakeup well its your "game" right now but dont be surprised if some good men are alienated because of it. i could add many more traits and virtues but wanted to keep it rational.
slandering, gossip, liying, rage bursts and violence, incongruence, lack of love and empathy i believe are super basic and fundamental red flags in a partner.
I'm mostly revering to looks, by the way. I don't think its fair that you would determine a personality like that, because some people, like me naturally glare daggers when really we're bubbly and happy. Or naturally any of those other things, I mean yes the personality types you would hope that would be common decency. My point with those is that people make mistakes, they slip up, no one can keep from doing bad things every now and then, its impossible. I'm not saying its good to do them, I'm just saying that if you cut out someone as a possibility every time she would do one of those things listed, you would have no one.
noone is better than a crappy marriage for many people. as for the eyes and appearence stuff well i mentioned they are indications not absolute proof. yes a penetrative or even an innocent look can be deceiving. also clothes and makeup can be deceiving. but i believe to a degree appearence and especially the face, reveals a lot about a person, and with discretion, is a very good first level filter to detect red flags. people who look cunning, deranged, evil, overly depressed, overly anxious etc, well huge chances are she/he is.
Oh and for the other part, people do have problems, and a lot of times a good, compatible partner can help balance them out and control those problems. It's not fair to just shut off people who can't control their emotions, I mean there need to be boundaries set, but you shouldn't take first impression for granted 100% of the time.
a lot of people are not willing to be other people's nurses/therapists. i belong in that category as well. i prefer to get the goods in a good shape from the begining. if you are looking for a saint that will heal your wounds well you are welcome to search for one... .
There's a difference between therapy, and walking beside someone in life and supporting them and loving them for who they are fully. A therapist helps the person because they are paid to, a partner would do it because they love them.
well you got the general idea no meaning to create strawman arguments. anyway i agree with you to a degree. love is unconditional and patient. but love is also absent in our era. very hard to find in most people. also noone will actually heal you. you will heal yourself. if i'm not well i won't put my burdain on another person thats how i think. thats why before i married i went big on the self improvement and meditative prayer wagon. i wasn't looking for leeching parasiting relationships and still im not.
lol, I think that's because of websites like the dating one that bring together people who hate a common thing. I'm not saying anything about religion because that would be hectic for sure, but I grew up learning that a marriage needs to be centered around God, and as a result, never once have I seen my parents fight. Its the same like when you see parents divorce after a kid leaves home, they loose their common love and so they loose their love. I think the main thing men should look for is a women with common morals and values, even if she has some flaws because he surely does as well. If they share common values, then they'll most likely love similar if not the same things. Yes though, if you're extremely out of control, or have many issues that you're not comfortable with and can't function properly in society, then you should get help before considering a romantic relationship. And people might not change each other, but love can change or heal people, and yes it still exists.
And sorry, not trying to be argumentative either. ^^ Just don't think it's fair to shut down girls who want a relationship and really want to try, yet have a couple things they struggle with. I'm not talking about girls who like being cruel to others either by the way.
sure i totally get what you mean but also you should try to not close your ears to what i say either. if you are not ready for a relationship do not enter a relationship. a partner won't magically solve your problems. as for the example of parents, if i expected from my parents that were one of the most immature and unloved couples, to take the example of love, i would be doomed. i had to form my own opinions on the matter. and i never brought up a protestant religion. i'm talking about spirituality in the context of self betterment.
Well no, I just meant in general religion is something that can instantly get sparks started so I was saying that I meant it as a good example of many is all. And yes, I am considering what you're saying and that's why I am saying I agree that the women should get help when its needed. Another thing though, all these things considering behavior and most of looks, if they're relevant to women then they should be relevant to men as well. And that's good you're not following their example then, but I have a good example and so I'm going to take advantage of my resources. I never said a partner would magically solve a persons problems, I'm just saying that people should be given a chance if you like them. If you like a person, you shouldn't reject your feelings because of one or two behaviors. You cannot foresee how a relationship will turn out just based on a couple things you learn right away, its unethical.
well thats why the title is not how to reject someone on 30 seconds but things to consider, things to look for, and contemplation of the results in general. it can take months.
Amazing advice.
Good topic.