Confessions of a Ladies Man-The Truth About Dating Advice From Women

[Apope16]

In most cases it is kind of stupid to get dating advice from women. You are going to get some pretty bad advice from these ladies.

They are going to tell you lame stuff like:

Be Yourself

Be a Nice Guy

Treat her like a Queen

Buy her things

LISTEN UP!

Do you want to know the truth about why ladies are giving you all of that advice that you read above? Do you want to know why they are telling you to be a nice prince charming type of guy? Because they are getting fucked by the alpha bad boys and they want to change them by making them more nice. In other words, when you ask a woman for dating advice. Subconsciously, she is imagining the hotties she has dated or had sex with or crushed on in the past. Most likely, these "Hotties" are alpha guys that were unrequited lovers that they wanted to change but couldn't because they were the love that got away. These alpha hot guys probably dumped them or cheated on them.

So the advice they give to other guys. Is to be just like the adorable guy you see in the movies. The loser guy who is tripping over himself and buying her flowers.

Remember guys. The guy that the woman truly lusts for deep down inside...the super hot ex...the hottest guy she desires...that dude? He is the guy that broke her heart.

That's right. The guy she will always be in love with and can never let go. The guy that your girlfriend or wife is secretly fantasizing about when she is masturbating in the shower. That dude? He dumped her. Or things did not work out. Or he cheated. Or he lost interest. He broke her heart. LIke BAD. She misses him so fuckin much. She just wants one more night with him. Just one more time for him to be inside her.

That is why she wants you to be a nice guy.

Here's the problem. Don't take that advice. She will lose interest. YOU ARE ALREADY THE NICE GUY. What you need to unlock is the alpha passion that drew her to badboy in the first place. You have the nice guy side covered.

[crazy8000]

A good start is to.
Be brutal honest and call her out on her shit.
Have boundaries.
Don't tolerate manipulative behavior.
Show she aren't the senter of the universe.
Don't buy thing's.
Don't make her life convenient.
Don't tolerate entertainment.
Stop listening to her words and start observe what she is after since majority make up alternative reasons/motives.
If she doesn't respect your boundaries just walk away.
If she pulls drama just walk away.
If she doesn't put any effort just walk away.
If she is selfabsorbed just walk away.
Don't take what thay say seriously until she have shown she is trustworthy.
Stop being the one talking, she has to pull deep rapport too on you.
Stop putting them on pedestal.
They aren't loving honest inorsent overseeing trustworthy perfect by nature.
External beauty fades and can't compensate for her personality.
She isn't always right even.
Her word isn't law.
Be yourself.
Don't be afraid of talking about anything, everything is allowed even if they say they weren't.
She has to trigger you as much you trigger her different kind of feelings.
Don't be afraid of physical touching heron non private areas.
use positive language as much as possible unless you must mark something that is off.
Stop titillate yourself as good bad gentlemen.
Don't be afraid to say what you think even if it's negative.
Don't make up thing's about yourself to look good.
If your nervous shy say it.
If you don't really want to do something just say it.
Don't try to be someone you aren't.
What you feel get projected.
How you think how you see her how you behave she sees you gives effect accordingly.
...

[Apope16]

This is alpha asf bro! Well done!✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿👌🏿👌🏿👌🏿🤟🏾🤟🏾🤟🏾🤟🏾🤟🏾👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾

[worldscolide]

Dating advice from women is ALWAYS terrible because they never tell you what women really want, they always tell you what they "think" women want which is never the same.

[genuinlysensitive]

It is often hypocritical as well, as every woman who has given me advice like that has chosen to be with a man who treats her like shit/cheats on her, or chosen to be some guy's side piece. Sometimes literally dumping men who were loyal, to be one of the guy's side chicks!

Most women in my experience, despite denying it 100%, would rather be with a man who doesn't respect them, or be the side chick for a man who doesn't respect them, than a man who actually does. Its sad.

[Wacky_al]

@genuinlysensitive So true. Why don't they just admit it.

[ChristianMan21]

EVERYONE LISTEN UP! This guy is a moron... I see that a few guys are actually listening to this garbage. I want to make a few things perfectly clear. First of all, look at this dude's history of what he's posted. He is not a ladies man... Don't follow this idiotic advice from someone who obviously doesn't understand the opposite sex and who is completely full of himself. The only reason he's now posting this telling you that you can't take advice from women as if they can't tell you the truth for some reason, is because he got absolutely roasted on his last post! Here's the truth of the matter: He does not understand women. He is not a woman, nor does he understand the mind of one. He uses sweeping statements like "you can't trust advice from women" as if none of them are actually on your side. One of the dumbest things he said on his last post was that in dating, you have to "beat them at their own game". Like really? If you're wanting to be in a relationship, you're on the same freaking side! Next, every chance he gets, he brags about himself as if he thinks he's just the ultimate man who's got every woman in his pocket. The irony is that every time he talks about women, he has no respect for them, but seems to think they all respect him... Think about this. Every woman who responds to his posts says that his advice is stupid. None of the ladies has any respect for him. Also, every time he talks about women, it is in a sexual way. He always LOVES to talk about how big his junk is. Guess what, buddy? You aren't the only guy who has a big package... Get over yourself! It doesn't matter that much! I said this on his other post as well, but if you want an actual serious relationship, do not be manipulative like he is telling you to do. Be kind, caring, confident, protective, honest, trustworthy, and open to criticism. I have had a lot of successful and healthy relationships. The only reason that I ever broke up with someone or they broke up with me was because we had different life goals. Take some advice from someone who has actually been successful... Just strive to be the best version of yourself that you can be and don't take any of this guy's idiotic advice. Follow the advice I gave and the advice of women. I have followed the advice of women in my life and have almost never been mislead. Also, just curious, do any of you think I should do a mytake on this?

[tatianamay]

Agree to disagree. But oh boy, you’re absolutely wrong. Sure, the guys I’ve liked they were insanely charming, hot af, treated me like a Queen first and then fucking ghosted me, it had all the drama and shit. All 3 were so fucking depressed and yes, I did try to help them out of it, I hoped they’d changed, but then, I realized that I can’t, and realized that I did NOT want the “roller coaster kinda rush” anymore.


Yes, im young, but I sure af do not want drama. I just want a guy who would give me warm cuddles, treat me with respect, shower me with kisses and hugs and love me for who I am. I do not want an “alpha” guy. They’re neither relationship nor marriage material. I’m not saying that they cannot change. They can, but by that time, they’d be the one that got away. The one I’m not in love with anymore. Because when they change, I wouldn’t be fantasizing about them. I’d be in my nice guy’s arms, not the bad boy’s. Girls don’t fantasize about guys who treat them like shit. I have had experiences with these bad boys and I wouldn’t choose them anymore.

[tatianamay]

Change*

[Blackcupcake]

Preach girlie

[tatianamay]

Yesss!! 😌❤️

[tatianamay]

Lol, wait, a guy has downvoted me. Lmaooo truth hurts, dude. You treat yo girl like shit, she walks. Some assholes smh.

[Blackcupcake]

His so called alpha ego is hurt babe

[tatianamay]

@Blackcupcake loll yesss, for real 😂

[Djaay]

Totally agreed except that your concept along with everyone's concept of (Alpha men ) are speaking of want to be Alphas instead of the real deal. There's No such thing as a bad true alpha male.

[tatianamay]

@Djaay Oh, well, I should've rephrased it better. I was talking about the "players," the so called "bad boys" lol

[Djaay]

Word ! 😊 understood

[Lost_in_the_Woods]

What's your advice to find a girl like you?
Because I don't those things and nobody will even talk to me or hang out with me so I never even get s chance to show them?

How can a guy like that attract a girl in the first place?

[tatianamay]

@Lost_in_the_Woods Well, everyone, not only girls, EVERYONE loves confidence. You've got to believe in yourself. Don't try to be someone you're not, be yourself. Try to have deep conversation (in that way you can bond) yk why i liked guys who were depressed or had anxiety? because they're not like other guys. I was able to have a deep conversation with those guys, they saw things from a different perspective. Most importantly, they showed their emotions, and were themselves. Don't worry, just work on yourself, your confidence and try to overcome your insecurities, you'll find a girl who would treat you like a King, okay? <3

[Djaay]

tatianamay... That's was a thoughtful and considerate thing to say to the guy. Just thought i'd let ya know I believe your a good female. 😊

[Blackcupcake]

@Djaay trust me she’s the best🥰

[Djaay]

Blackcupcake... Totally , I agree. That's how most of us in Hawaii are towards each other. Love ya both...😊

[Lost_in_the_Woods]

Thanks. That helps a lot.

I definitely don't want a "normal" girl, so it helps to remember that being attractive to the masses isn't necessarily the goal.

Maybe I should move to Hawaii. 🤔🤣

[tatianamay]

@Djaay Aww, thank you so much, that was very sweet of you haha <3

[tatianamay]

@Blackcupcake Awee you're the sweetest sis! <3

[tatianamay]

@Lost_in_the_Woods Hahah, well, nobody in this world is normal. Everyone is unique in their own way, but yeah lol, I get what you mean

[Anonymous]

That’s very generalized. Not every woman is going to give you this advice.


Typically, girls don’t want the nice guys because usually it’s an act. There’s a difference between being a nice guy and a good guy. Ultimately, the man that we want to settle down with needs to be a good guy.


As for the buying things? I’m uncomfortable when people buy things for me in general and do not expect you to buy objects for me. I use my money to buy what I want and need, unless you saw something that you knew I would love and use, do not give me presents. Christmas and birthday presents are fine because I know that I will be giving you one for each of those as well. The exception is a nice meal, but expect that I will return the favor.


Be yourself: yes, obviously be yourself otherwise you’ll end up being the great pretender for the rest of your life, trying to be somebody that you’re not. However, if there is something that you don’t like about yourself, you can change that, either by working on it or getting over it. You also do not need to disclose things that you do not want to. One of the greatest pieces of advice my mom gave me toward relationships is that our partners do not need to know everything. Maintain some illusion and mystery.


Treat her like a queen— but only if you treat yourself like a king. We do not want the servant or jester— unless you have serious issues and the need to feel in power in your relationships. If you know your place and show us ours, we’ll decide if we want to stay in that place.

[Anonymous]

Here an advice from me. I dont represent all women and this is only my opinion.
First of all, your personality alone ain't enough, otherwise there would not be any difference between you and her friends since women choose friends by their personality too. So try to improve your appearance. Women have to be sexually attracted to you in order to consider you as a partner. You have to be nice, of course but your looks are important too to an extent. Girls who like bad boys are cringey wattpad users. Most of them are minors or very young, immature and naive. So why would you want them if you are not a pedo or dont like immature girls. We all were immature and cringey when we were very young.

Then many people mistake dominant men for cringey badboys. It is not a secret that there are many women who like dominant men and some naive women/men mistake dominant men for badboys who use their dominance in a wrong way. Being dominant is not a bad trait as long as you dont use your dominance in a wrong way. This may also explain why some girls actually like badboys but also want to change them. They actually want nice, confident AND dominant men. I personally dont prefere dominant men.

Furthermore, women ain't one invidual. So there are many different women with different preferences. Some women like experienced men unlike me. You dont have to be a manwhore to be good in bed. Nobody is born experienced and i doubt that these so called fuckboys really care about women's sexuality aka orgasms. So ask her what she likes and how she she wants it. Learn together. Communication is key. This is why i dont understand when some people freak out when i say i prefere virgins. I mean me and my virgin partner can learn together to fuck lool as long we are both open minded and communicate a lot

[Jack_747]

My friend, you COMPLETLY missed the plot.
I am going to keep it short, simple and TRUTHFUL.

You will NEVER find a woman/lady longing for someone who broke their heart, made them feel sad or suddenly just started ignoring them.
That is why all the so called "Bad Boys" never have a relationship that lasts long enough to put a ring on it. And when they sleep with someone and get her pregnant, they are the first to run away. It is the 'Nice Guy' that would love a woman with a child that is not even his own, and would accept the responsibility of raising a child.

Have you seen how the guy who jokes around, who is funny and who might look just a little bit goofy always has a girl or is always surrounded by girls?
That my friend, is because he thinks about and cares about her feelings as well.
-When she is down he makes her laugh.
-When she is feels she is not worth someone's time, he is the one who would sing for her standing on her lawn and does not care if he wakes up the neighborhood.
-When she does not feel special he would give her all his time and spend the whole day with her, letting her know that she is at least special enough to get a whole day from his life.

CLEARLY YOU NOT KNOW WOMEN AND SHOULD SPEND MORE TIME TAKING NOTES FROM THE GUYS YOU CONSIDER TO BE LOSERS.
So withdraw your self-proclaimed "Ladies Man" title, and learn to become a Gentleman first.

[MzAsh]

If you want to have drama filled short term flings, follow “alpha” dating strategies. And hire a good lawyer for when you get knocked up, assaulted, or catch an assault charge.
If you want a long lasting, adult relationship, follow the advice of those who have maintained a healthy, happy relationship for at least 10 years or more.

[Djaay]

Best I've heard from ya

[MzAsh]

Thank you

[Apope16]

Last week I had sex with a married woman. I asked what was wrong with her husband. She said he was a nice guy. Super sweet. Kind. Good father. But she was bored. Watch that show "sex/life" and you will know what i mean.

So i had sex with her. She was separated anyway. But it was a wake up call. It inspired this post. She was married 10 years to a really sweet guy. But he didn't excite her.

The lesson is not about changing who you are. The post says "you are the nice guy" already. Draw out the inner kink. Spice it up. Be less predictable.

[MzAsh]

Once you’ve been in a relationship as long as I have, you understand the importance of the nice guy. HE was the one holding my hand during times of need. Not the fuckboys. She’ll learn the hard way someday.

[Apope16]

She was married 10 years. She wasn't looking for a relationship with a fuckboy. She was dying for excitement because her nice guy husband bored her. 10 years.

You are triggered here. Nothing in my note tells guys to be a fuckboy. it says to maintain a nice guy image but with an edge to your persona. Be sweet and kind but also rip her clothes off against the wall. Have sex on the kitchen table. Role play. Thats my point

[MzAsh]

Haha well if my man rips my clothes off he’s buying me more. But yeah, maintain excitement. Just don’t ruin my garments please.

[HannahAurora]

Just tell me, how is advice like "be yourself" and "buy her things" bad advice? Would you rather lie and not be yourself? That kind of untruthfulness won't last. And buy her things, sure. Some things, sometimes. Like paying for dinner or a nice gift on your one month anniversary or whatever. We're not saying "buy her the world every day and spoil her". If I guy did that, I might start to take it for granted or get bored with it. If you instead do it once in a while, it's more like a surprise to look forward too.

And I just gotta say, when they say "treat her like a queen" it comes out wrong. You should of course make her feel important, but I'd rather be treated like an equal. Play jokes on me, let me cook, talk if something doesn't feel right. Don't be like a simp.

[Lost_in_the_Woods]

He isn't says its "bad advice" in that it's the wrong thing to do.

He's saying it isn't good advice because most of the guys asking already do those things and they don't work.

[Punkbuster107]

The best choice is to only take advice from people who have the sort of relationship you want to emulate, be it a man or woman. In other words, if you want to marry the love of your life and keep the relationship into old age, then ask older couples who have stood the test of time. At the very least, ask someone who is married and at least looks like their relationship is going well so far.



That said, I’m curious as to how long our ladies man expert @Apope16 has managed to keep a marriage with his philosophy, and what his failure to success ratio has been in making his relationships last for life.

[lucas262]

The truth about dating advise from women? 80% of men are near invisible to women. Women compare themselves to the top 20% of men and say they're being oppressed.

What does a woman know about cold approaching a woman? No woman ever grew up cradle to grave with rhe kind of feminist, feminine, man bashing, simp inducing brainwashing most young men today do.
Most women do not realize most men do not have options like they do.

Most women say they want this, this and that in a man and fuck the exact opposite.

A woman's dating advise could be considered a rosey ideal that dosnt exist. Where your set up to be a heart on your sleeve kinda guy. Don't be that guy.

Some make decent points and it's interesting to hear a different perspective but the vast overwhelming majority of female dating coaches or dating advise videos iv seen are pure bullshit. And not because they're trying to deceive you they just aren't aware of how the other shoe truly fits.

[ChristianMan21]

Sorry, but I must disagree. Female and male dating coaches almost always agree and it's never any of this garbage he's saying in his post here. The advice they give is from a lot of research and psychology. This guy isn't a ladies man, he's just trying too hard to feel like an "alpha" himself... Truth is, he's far from it.

[A_Bell]

The "alpha" guy thing is total BS. These guys are jerks and think much more highly of themselves than they have ever earned. It's called arrogance.

What most women want is confidence, decisiveness and charm. It doesn't mean a completely uninteresting "nice guy" (who aren't really nice just immature and entitled), it means someone who is himself, handles himself and treats his date with respect.

[CCammiee14]

I like how only guys disliked this

[f4iry]

@CCammiee14 lmaoo fr they can't handle the truth

[genuinlysensitive]

Yes, that is what all women say, but then their actoins are the exact opposite of what they say. Hence the downvotes.

[RedFever]

So true. Spot on, and you know that you're right because only blue people here voted your comment down, LOL :D

[ArnKnightTemplar]

PART 1: Firstly, being down-voted only by guys does not reveal what Redfever has illogically assumed. True or not it is obviously only going to be down-voted by guys. What woman would down-vote this unless they have the self-awareness to realize they are how this guy has presented women. Even if what A_Bell is disputing is true of the woman in question, she would not say it was then true of all woman, so having only guy down-votes is kind of irrelevant.
Anyway, I think both you and the self-proclaimed ladies-man have valid points. I have never been what is termed a "bad boy." I do find it a problem that "nice guy" has become a negative term for so many. If someone is nice they should be called so, if someone is bad, they should be called so, but these used as terms represents a very flawed worldview.

[ArnKnightTemplar]

PART 2: I understand that women like confidence and decisiveness (charm is more like a bonus though). My question is why do you assume "nice guys," as you refer to them, are uninteresting, not really nice, immature, and entitled. Sure, most people, particularly the young and particularly the people today, are immature. Interest is a matter of perspective so I will not bother addressing that one. Yet, the "[not] really nice... and entitled" part indicates you assume the "nice guys" are all or mostly masked deceptive oppressors with ulterior motives. I find that while that may be the case with some it's hardly fair to potential mates or yourself to arbitrarily write off anyone you decide to put in your "nice guy" box.
I would not call myself a "nice guy" or "bad guy." I take things as they come. I will treat people with the respect they earn. I will trust those who show themselves trustworthy. I will be angry with poor treatment of myself and others who do not deserve it. Fairness is a dream, but happiness and joy are possible. Though, being satisfied enough is the unfortunate reality of what is achieved by most.
When dating with the intention of attaining a permanent life partner, one should consider the fallowing saying: Women marry men hoping they can change them, and they never do. Men marry women hoping they never change, but they always do.
Understanding the archetypal female and males fantasies is key to understanding as best you can. You should listen to Jordan Peterson on the subject (or any subject for that matter). He has made me understand people in general more than any man or woman could, and I've never even met him.
It's of course more complicated than this, but put very simply, men look for a perfect woman while woman fantasize about making the perfect man out of a less than admirable powerful one.

[natured]

My partner is not a bad guy e never was, and i always loved him
He's just a bad boy in the sheets if you know what i mean ;)
But if a man cannot be HIMSELF i'd not date him at all... I wouldn't even waste time, and trust me, most Women see fake attitutes from miles so don't try to fool yourselves with these "tricks" that have to alter a mans character, which is not fair... at all..

[IdealistDreamer]

What do you mean by "being yourself"? All the girls say that, but I still don't understand... 🤔😞

[Apope16]

You remind me of someone who would tell a 500 pound woman that she is beautiful. To be herself. That a nice guy will accept her for who she is.

My advice is be the best version of yourself. Get on a treadmill. Dont be stagnant. Same thing with guys. Dont be yourself! Transform! Evolve!

[Lost_in_the_Woods]

"Be the best version of yourself"
"Be the person you have always wanted to be"

That is fantastic advice.

[natured]

@IdealistDreamer It's sad that everyone thinks that us women are all the same...
YOU SEEM TO WANT US TO BE EVIL... it's very immature.
You should appreciate it, I gave a legit personal example of it y'all still crying here...
Well then you can all fake yourself and lie to yourself so you can get a female... GREAT JUST GREAT

[MysteriousDarkness]

A self respecting confident woman will put a guy out to the curb to be picked up with a the other trash if he treats her like you are advising guys to treat women. A naive woman will not know any better and be with a guy who treats her like crap. A woman who is easily emotionally manipulated will feel so horrible about herself to the point she doesn't think anyone elsecwill wantvto bevwith her so she stays with the guy who is tratingbher like crap. Your advice will creat a toxic relationship or get the guy kicked to the curb.

[Apope16]

Exactly how am i advising them to be treated?

[MysteriousDarkness]

You are telling guys to not give her any attention when they are not physically together. When they are physically together you basically are say dor him to push the gas pedal all the way down when it comes to showing love, romance and intimacy. It goes from nothing to everything all at once

[1EVDriver]

One can catch a lot of shallow girls looking for a few minutes of fun that way - I know I did.


When it’s time for something real it’s time to grow up drop the act, listen to her words, her actions, her reactions. Drop little nothings things that remind her your her Rock - not just another runner up. That’s alpha AF.


A true alpha is only as strong as his pack, he must take care for his pack, he must ensure health, safety, love, be a strong roll model, he must make the hard choices and, own it.

[LoveDoc2000]

Reality is woman can't tell the truth to men. Men are boys. It's why we hear phrases like boys will be boys. Cause they never damn mature up. Dudes if want a woman make mistakes, do dumb shit that's all good. It shows you're human. Don't do one thing is lie. It's not manly nor does it make you so called Alpha which is catch phrase to make you buy their books, classes etc. Guys you want a woman just be real. Be mature. Not dumb and lazy. Now ladies if you would let t iet the guys take control and LET MEN BE MEN. THIS topic wouldn't even come up. Guys asking advice is lack of men in their lives. So if guy wants to hang with his buddies doesn't mean he don't like you. Just needs time to get his testosterone in order. Period.

[OurManFlint]

The alpha thing seems to be a a bit over emphasized nowadays but a solid perspective. I would respect it more if it were expressed with an actual face to attach to it.

[Apope16]

🤓 there's my face

[RedFever]

A "ladies-man". Pfft! You don't know anything about what women want, aspire to, think or believe, and speaking for myself, I could not care less about your "alpha bad-boys", because those "bad boys" are... well, bad. They're obnoxious, arrogant, conceited and often violent.
You just have no idea. Give it up already, find another job, because you're just no good at this one.

[Wacky_al]

Are you talking about your exes?

[Curmudgeon]

"YOU ARE ALREADY THE NICE GUY. What you need to unlock is the alpha passion that drew her to badboy in the first place. You have the nice guy side covered."

THIS is spot on. Or to put it another way, "Embrace the power of AND..."

[JSmuve]

Facts bro. Women give guys shit advice because they don't want you to succeed until they're ready to settle down after they've been run-through. Then they want to be pampered and taken care of and tell the "nice guys" that all they had to do was "wait for the right girl to come along". And come along she does with emotional baggage, 20 different guys jizz dripping out of her, 30 extra pounds, and a princess complex.

[Twalli]

I kind of agree with you. Countless girls asked me why their boyfriends couldn't be more like me. None of them considered that if they really wanted someone like me, I was available. I'm not anymore, but it took a long time.

[snackthatsmilesback]

This sounds oddly specific.

Even the advice "just be yourself" personally I've heard that way more from guys than from girls. Usually the girls will tell me that probably won't work and the guys will tell me if it don't work you don't want her anyway.