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Looks Matter In Romantic Relationships Whether You Want To Believe It (Page 3)
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I think there's some leeway making it possible that a better character can make up for looks to some extend. Otherwise yeah totally agree. I think people should stop denying it.
But what do you mean by good looking I am better looking in world of wemen than the top less men in photos above , I am poor less money than most men and wemen want to be with me more than near any man?
I agree to certain extent. But in the end... guy can be the most handsome, cutest, gorgeous, sexy men ever... and if he has a bad personality, won't cut it for me.
Obviously, I don't think anyone's saying looks are the only thing that matters.
For me, looks get my attention, personality is what makes me stay. So both are important.
why does it always have to be that black and white? lol we need to stop with this "good and bad" personality. most people aren't evil or super mean so their personality is just a random collection of different emotions depending on how they feel that day. its so narrow minded to think some people have a "good personality" and others have a "bad one." the truth is everyone has ups and downs and good personality traits and bad ones that very depending on how their day went. its such an obscure perversion of logic to assume personality traits are set in stone.
what I've noticed is that most attractive women generally have normal healthy personality and are usually in a better mood more often than their less attractive counterparts. I think this can be attributed to a steady flow of positive reinforcement something that less attractive women get less of. but again someone "personality" constantly fluxtuates based on emotion and its silly and pretentious to assume some people are better than
others in regards to personality. that is rarely the case
Human beings are the most hypocritical creatures... that is for sure.
Women are just as visual as men. They're usually thinking longer term when they meet someone though, so a guy will need more than a 6 pack to hold their interest.
Yep, unfortunately, it's true, that's why I can't get a date cause I'm not rich, I have no self-confidence and I don't look like Brad Pitt or Leonardo DiCaprio.
Well that's not a 100% true in every single case.
But in most cases it is true.
Yes, we can be a hypocrite and say looks don't matter but, they are the first step towards attraction.
Yes but everyone is attracted to a different kind of beauty, a beautiful person to some maybe ugly to others!
No shit, thanks for pointing that out captain obvious
Some people need it to be pointed out.
Of course they matter. I body is walking around saying damnnn look at those feelings.
Please seek help mate
You've got the right idea here. He needs serious help if he honestly thinks "dating someone for their personality is a relationship that will eventually fail". There's just no hope for him at this point
@Idonthaveausername im just concerned that he's pathologically obsessed with this issue, he incessantly posts about it.
You and me both. I've been trying to explain the concept of women not being as visual as men but that we still have eyes to him for a year now. He either goes with "all women are lesbians" or "women are lying if they say they're not visual". That's not mentally healthy and he is pathologically obsessed with it. I've been encouraging him to speak with a therapist about it for a while too
@Idonthaveausername you can lead a horse to water but can't make them drink.
@Idonthaveausername
I use to visit a therapist once a month.
Maybe you should go back. This is an unhealthy obsession and you're looking for the wrong things
Not all women are lesbians
Only about 20% of women are visual, the majority are not
Women will only enter a relationship with you if they like the way you look
Women will not date you if they think you're ugly
Personality is much more important than looks if you want a serious relationship
Relationships based off looks are generally short, FWBs, hookups, and ONSs
@Idonthaveausername So you do admit that women care about looks.
No. Not in the sense you're claiming. Not in the way you twist words
Looks don't matter in the way you think they do
If you're physically repulsive to a woman, she will never be able to love you. If you're average, a little funny-looking, or otherwise not an obese, half-bald neckbeard with crooked teeth who hangs around playgrounds, then no looks don't matter for women who want relationships. The only girls who care more about looks than personality are sluts who will probably cheat on you anyway and lesbians (although many of them care more about personality than looks as well)
@Idonthaveausername I’d date a average woman as well, average is still attractive. The point is if women can still find a guy visually hot without any form of sexual arousal.
@Idonthaveausername In other a words, a guy has to at least be average looking.
If you're healthy, shower regularly, and brush your teeth and hair everyday, you're already at average
@Idonthaveausername
“Personality is much more important than looks if you want a serious relationship
Relationships based off looks are generally short, FWBs, hookups, and ONSs”
^^
•__________•
Have you... like... not ever talked to boys before?
Lol pretty much 100.000000% of the boys I know would pretty much rather shoot themselves in the head than be the boy with whom women would want a “serious rl” but would never even ••consider•• for a fling.
It alws blows my mind when I hear/see women saying this sort of thing to boys as though it’s supposed to make them feel BETTER about that!
@redeyemindtricks
Like could you not be so condescending?
ROFLMAO! Of course I talk to boys. 90% of my coworkers are male so that's pretty impossible to avoid them all
Looks are not important to me. I care about personality more than anything else. My ex had a broken nose, scarring, and a slight deformation in his eye, but I didn't even notice until 3 months after meeting him when I saw it in a picture because I focus more on other things than what someone looks like. So stop getting triggered when someone says something you don't agree with because I'm actually telling the truth
And most guys would be happy to date me no matter what reason I chose them for. I have plenty of guy friends because they like my personality as well
@Idonthaveausername So is it more accurate to say that good looks (nice facial structure, clear skin etc) are the “attention getters”for women?
@Idonthaveausername There is no scientific proof that only 20% of women are visual (that’s only a guess) or that women are the better looking Sex (that’s a opinion). I’ve read those links you shared and they say nothing about that.
@Idonthaveausername *correction, good looks only get a man through the door. While it’s his personality that determines if he can stay? Is that what you mean?
Yes there was a study that proved that and I sent you a link a while ago. Choosing to deny it isn't going to help you
Not necessarily, but it can. It depends on the girl. Being attractive is a plus, but not imperative. I personally don't consider anyone until I see compatibility and personality. A hot guy who's incompatible with me may as well be a mannequin because I'm not going to pay any attention to him. And a guy who doesn't approach me is probably someone I don't even know exists, so simply being hot does nothing
Driving a fancy sports car or shooting up a crowded building will get someone's attention, but the message portrayed is more important. Sitting back and expecting someone to notice you for looks is lazy, selfish, narcissistic, and boring. People who rely solely on looks have no basis for a relationship
@Idonthaveausername That study said that more women take better care of their bodies hence why more women are more attractive than men, not because they are naturally more attractive.
The links don’t say anything about only 20% women being visual, it simply mentions a study that was conducted that show differennces in genital reactions.
Can you at least tell the difference between a attractive looking man and a attractive looking woman or do they both give you the same emotional reaction?
These were different studies. I've sent you plenty of links trying to help you and all you're doing is trying to justify your mental illness by denying it
Can I tell the difference between men and women? Absolutely yes. Do they give me a different emotional reaction? Absolutely not. Strangers do not illicit emotional reactions from me no matter the gender, and especially not based solely on what they look like
@Idonthaveausername I know what those studies said but they said nothing about women being the better looking Sex by default. They also didn’t say that only 20% of women are visual. I think your definition of visual is different than my definition.
We both agree that women don’t get instantly sexually aroused by looking at a male’s 6 pack. However, women still like how it looks. It doesn’t mean they want to jump in bed with the man though.
Yes they did. You chose not to believe them because you don't trust the source. That is on you, not me. I've tried to help you and you aren't listening to my advice. I'm going to stop answering these questions of yours
Where you're wrong is assuming women have sexual thoughts or emotional reactions to strangers only based on them being hot. While some women do, the vast majority do not. The vast majority of women need to have some interaction and get to know a guy first. Where you're wrong is assuming a woman is lying when she says she isn't. Where you're wrong is assuming relationships where you love someone for their personality first are going to fail because thousands of relationships and studies prove that wrong
You need to get over this obsession. Women aren't throwing themselves at you for your personality as is, so that's not anything you need to be worried about
@Idonthaveausername So you admit you can still find random guys got? That’s what I’ve been wanting to know about women all along, even if they aren’t visual in the sense they don’t get turned on easily, can women still find a man hot? Why do women check out random men if they do not care about looks?
As for the sources, I’ve read them over and over, they say nothing about women by default being more aesthetically appealing than men, because that’s only a opinion. In fact many women say that men are more aesthetically appealing than women.
No you've been twisting my words. I've always said I can tell when a guy is hot, it just does nothing for me, and I have no desire to be with random strangers
bigthink.com/.../why-women-are-more-attractive-than-men
@Idonthaveausername Keywords “on average”
"Average" is not a key word. It is the norm
@Idonthaveausername He said on average not by default.
@Idonthaveausername This is why qph.ec.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-95461fc373ea7da5bc7342243b2016a5-c
They don't because if that were the case when someone let themselves go, people would break up ASAP
true to sum point if a guys hot or cute girls date them 1st
It's weird that to prove your point you use all guys with six packs. It's pretty unrealistic.
That’s a symbol of masculinity.
Honestly All looks will do for me is get your foot in the door and that's kind of it.
I agree they do matter!!
Thanks for teaching people to be shallow more. Just what the world needs more, another garbage article that's a bad influence on others.
Dear anon (36-45) Seems that you can’t handle the truth.
There are skinny men who find fat women attractive. So there goes your argument. And this 36-45 year old has more life experience then you.
@adfsdf1996 "Dear anon (36-45) Seems that you can’t handle the truth."
Wow you're sooo intelligent and chock full of insight at 21. Amazing!
@CactusJuice It’s very arrogant to assume age automatically gives you knowledge.
Maybe you do have more life experience but it doesn’t mean you have the same knowledge. Being wise and being knowledgeable are two different things.
“Thanks for teaching people to be shallow more.”
Lol, like reading an article on the internet is gna change someone’s base preferences.
If these articles make people more aware of their OWN looks and visual presentation — and [even marginally] more motivated to improve on those aspects of themselves — then it could hardly be said that that’d be a bad thing mahah.
There are evolutionary reasons why we find people attractive or unattractive.
@redeyemindtricks
Yep. It's striking how few people understand this, given how much advice I see for people to lower their standards rather than up their game.
However, it's been my experience that relatively few people are actually good at telling people how they can improve their appearance.
@Bluemax More like the dating advice crap that you and others that have posted here have been debunked overtime as the like of yous continue to undermined the importance of personality and other attraction traits besides the body.
The point that @Bluemax and I both i understand instinctually here — but that everyone else is weirdly missing — is that NO ONE IS SAYING PERSONALITY ••ISN’T•• important.
Duh. Of course personality is important.
So are core values, and preferences regarding physical space (= don’t EVER try to have a rl between a neat freak and a slob, because it’ll NEVER work).
The point that @Bluemax and I are making is that PHYSICAL ATTRACTION NEVER LOSES ITS IMPORTANCE.
“It just gets you in the door” is wrong wrong wrong ohhhh so wrong. It STILL matters that he’s hot, and that he sets my heart racing just lookin’ at him... and we’ve been together for 18 years.
__
Also, I hate to pull the fucking age card, but, two 40somethings with long successful marriages under our belts... uhhh... we know what we’re talking about.
__
Blue, glad to see ya back.
Anon, you go on ahead and look through every single post I've ever made and tell me where I've stated or implied that personality/character/values are unimportant.
Take your time...
Can't find it? Well, that's because I've never said or implied any such thing. Personality/character/values are indeed important. However, 2 million years of human evolution has made appearance important, too. Like it or not. I am the first to state it's unfair, and I have seen first hand how this human trait to find some people attractive and others unattractive has been the source of pain for many.
@redeyemindtricks
"but that everyone else is weirdly missing"
Yes, that *is* weird, isn't it? It's almost like it's kind of intentional.
"'It just gets you in the door' is wrong wrong wrong ohhhh so wrong"
Indeed, I have *long* thought that appearance, like it or not, has a staying power all its own.
"Also, I hate to pull the fucking age card, but, two 40somethings with long successful marriages under our belts... uhhh... we know what we’re talking about."
Well, I also look not just at what is successful, but what has failed. I have known people who weren't physically attracted to their mates. I myself engaged in one (AND EXACTLY ONE... AND NEVER AGAIN THEREAFTER) such relationship. Such relationships are almost like chores. A challenge. Something to be overcome. And they fail. Even when they stay together, they're still often failures... failures that are drawn out over many many years.
@redeyemindtricks
Not too long ago, I put to RJGravey a series of rhetorical questions.
Which is easier: willing yourself to become attracted to someone, or losing weight?
Which is easier: willing yourself to become attracted to someone, or visiting the dentist/orthodontist?
Which is easier: willing yourself to become attracted to someone, or adopting a style of fashion that's appealing to most?
Etc.
I think for the majority of humanity, the latter is easier in most if not all cases. So why do we tell people to lower their standards over upping their game? Understand that you're fighting against millions of years of human evolution to tell people to somehow become attracted to what they're not attracted to (it's actually *more* than millions if you go back to the creation of sex on the tree of evolution)
I dunno. Maybe tales like Beauty and the Beast have made "seeing past all that" somehow noble (which it is, when we're talking courtesy and human rights... but not sex).
@redeyemindtricks
"Blue, glad to see ya back."
Thank you. I was never away, in so far as I read GAG frequently. However, events occurred which made me lose the wherewithal to write much of anything (or *do* much of anything, for that matter). I am trying to overcome that.
"... you can’t handle the truth."
Did you order the code red?
@Bluemax I’m sorry to hear. Drop me a line if you want.
I think you’re BADLY underestimating the visceral importance of fashion — for women, at least, but certainly for SOME men I know — but, the rest of yr points are well taken.
I. e. changing the way I dress would be just as viscerally disgusting as trying to ••will•• attraction to someone.
@redeyemindtricks duh! (You say DUH! to me, I say DUH to you) More like this shallow crap has been debunked as the likes of you place looks way too much in importance considering that good looks go away after after time. I don't need Anti-Fat people telling people like me that we have to change how the the fuck we look in order to get into a relationship with people. I will never change to please someone else. Seeing that I find both fat and skinny women attractive anyone can find skinny and fat people attractive if those stupid shallow people world learn to have an open fucking mind.
With more life experience brings more knowledge. Anyone who's older knows more than those who are younger.
That’s not always true. The phrase “wise beyond your years” exists for a reason. I can guarantee that I know parts of history that you don’t know about.
You can’t expect knowledge to come to you just because you are older, you have to seek the knowledge yourself by reading books, watching documentaries, visiting museams and even browsing credible sources on the internet.
Which is what older people do.
So do younger people.
A wise person wouldn’t be bragging about their age.
Looks matter more for us guys than girls. This one is on us guys
Looks do matter. A lot.