I'm sorry, I don't know what to do. Will I ever change?

[Anonymous]

I feel the pain.

The pain that I've put you through, the pain that is imprinted in my head. I feel my chest tighten every time when something happens. I have the want to punch something every time I disappoint you, I clench my fists so hard that they go numb.

I don't mean to be a failure or to disappoint you.

My past made me like this, there's things about myself that I'm wanting to change but I just feel like I'm always going to be like this. You say I'm different that how I was but I can't see that. Every time there's some argument between us, I get the flashbacks of how I was before I met you. I can't deal with it, I feel the pain every time I hurt you. I feel like I'm treating you just like how I've treated everyone else.

I used to be able to control things, control my feelings with people. It was like an on and off switch when I wanted to be with them or not, but at the same time I wanted them to feel pain like how I did. I feel like there's still that part of me existing, the smallest things just flood back and I feel like I won't ever be good enough. I don't want to be like that again though, I just can't seem to help thinking I'm still that person when problems arise with us.

Will I ever change?

I don't know what to do.

[Being_a_good_Indian]

Life is a gift, and it offers us the privilege, opportunity, and responsibility to give something back by becoming more. Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present movement.

Accepting all the good and bad about someone. It's a great thing to aspire to. The hard part is actually doing it.

Conflict is made positive by being tackled and dealt with properly, bringing couples closer together. It also has a greater effect, in growing the relationship beyond what either partner could ever have imagined.

It’s important not only to try and resolve conflict carefully, but to recognise your achievement when you have done so. By telling your partner how you appreciate they have handled a conflict in a good way (assuming they have) then your relationship can go from strength to strength.

The more you hide your past, the greater your shame will be. The only way to come out from under the dark shadow of your past mistakes is to talk about the secrets you’ve been hiding.

Forgiving yourself may be the most difficult thing you ever do – and the most important. You are heaping shame, guilt, and self-hatred onto your own head when you keep dredging up the past mistakes you made. You are destroying your relationship by living in the past and not moving forward. If you want to learn how to stop your past mistakes from destroying your relationship, you need to take care of your emotional and spiritual health.

One of the most important tips on how to stop past mistakes from destroying your relationship is to allow yourself to be human.

Figuring out why you’re struggling with insecurity will help you overcome it. Self-awareness won’t immediately erase your feelings or suddenly fill you with confidence, but it will help you see that your insecurity grew for specific reasons.

Hope it helps.

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You Can Do It.

*Based on Few Assumptions

*I rarely write long opinion on my takes.

[Being_a_good_Indian]

Thanks for selecting my opinion as most helpful opinion. 😊🇮🇳

[KrispyKrunch]

I'm just like you, except i lost someone I truly loved because I had a temper problem. change can happen if you want it too. He left me and it completely turned my world around. I'm getting help with my anger and you can too

[Boleggs]

I had the same problem but it wasn't all the time when I caught him in a lie or cheating I would blow up and he made it seem like I was crazy. But I just dont want to be cheated on im 39 and when is enough enough like he was married when i met him I fell in love and didn't even find out till months later we spend three years together he knew all the stuff and bad guys I had dated and prmise to never treat me like that. but he got caught aout 4 times so he put a lock on his phone and nov 1 i said Im done a a week go by I really wanted to spend my life with this man and I catch him living with a girl he is still married but she is pregnant and now he is getting his divorce Im so hurt I can't stop crying. I do have a bad temper but only when you have betrayed me I said some god awful things to him and I dont know why I still would take him back some days I can't stop crying then other days I hate him.

[honestibrahim]

You know exactly what to do. It's easy. Read your post. Transpose the things you know and feel are wrong and DO THE EXACT OPPOSITE.

[marcybarky]

Just find your advantages and try to use them in a good way. I think that is the only answer that I can do.

[Anonymous]

Don't change anything. Life is meaningless. When you die, your body will decompose and your remains will be used as fertilizer and no one will remember your name.

[karahiri]

maybe you should tell him these things
<3

[Anonymous]

hope you change