The Ultimate Relationship Tests

[Anonymous]

1. Travelling together

Although vacations are supposed to be relaxing and fun, sometimes they just aren’t. When your luggage goes missing, you’ve been flying for 24+ hours, you’re tired, you’re hungry, you’re thirsty, and you haven’t had a shower in a while, it’s easy to get quite annoyed or angry. And sometimes that annoyance is even easier to take out on whoever you’re travelling with. Travelling can be quite stressful, even when you’ve reached your destination, so it’s quite easy to tell if a relationship is going to last depending on how well you’re able to handle it.

2. Doing long distance (short-term)

Sometimes, for whatever reason, you or your partner might have to fly off to a different city or country for a while. Maybe they have family there, or they have to do it because their job requires it. It will put your relationship to the test, and force you to see how well you’re actually able to communicate with your partner. Do you trust them enough? Are you willing to put in the amount of effort it takes to keep the relationship alive while they’re gone? Will you try to come up with creative ways to show affection for them, when the standard hug or kiss isn’t an option anymore? And, will they be able to do the same for you?
Some time apart really puts things into perspective, and it’s either going to make or break the relationship.

3. Moving in together (either short-term or long-term)

Moving in together is quite the project, and there are plenty of things you have to discuss with your partner before jumping into it. Will one of you move in with the other, or will you get an entirely new place? Will you rent or buy? Will you try to merge your stuff, or will one of you have to get rid of their stuff? Maybe buy all new stuff? What about money? Loans? Food? Schedules? And so on. You might think you know your partner, but you truly won’t until you’ve lived 24/7 with them under the same roof. The both of you will see a different side of each other, both good and bad. Habits and quirks. For some couples, it’s too intense and stressful. For others, it’s a great joy to be even closer.

4. Shopping at IKEA

Oh boy. IKEA. Either you’ll have great fun playing house with your partner and your opinions will totally match, and everything will be sunshine and rainbows. Or you’ll be standing in the middle of the lamp department, screaming your heads off over whether you’re going to get the Älvängen lamp or the Sjöpenna, and whether you’ll be taking all your stuff home yourself or get it delivered.

If you and your partner survive these tests, I'm sure you'll be able to survive any other tests! ♡

[Bluemax]

1. Interesting. I didn't get to really experience this. My wife and I didn't travel by air very much. Indeed, she didn't travel well (air sick, car sick, sea sick, you name it she got it). Virtually all our travels were by car. She traveled by air to visit relatives, but never with me (I regret that), but she had to be doped up pretty good to even look at a plane.

2. Longest we spent apart was about a week or so.

3. Wasn't a problem.

4. I don't care about furniture, so I offered very little input.

[Plumy]

Ldr is the ultimate test ! I can't wait to move in together !
by the way shopping at Ikea is fun! He likes it too, especially when we are on the way out, we eat at the Ikea restaurant like every time and his fav are salmon wraps and mine is the Swedish gravlax yumm, I miss it...

[xHoneyxBeex]

I agree and have experienced ALL of these tests myself. My current relationship started out being long-distance. It was tough, we remained long-distance for about a year and a half until I moved in with him almost a year ago. Both of those things proved to be challenging.

Traveling, yes, can be very stressful and I don't travel well. I honestly feel sorry for my boyfriend for having to put up with me when we travel. Lol I get motion sickness SO easily, headaches, and just generally feel grumpy when I travel until I'm there and can actually relax.

I also don't know why everyone is questioning number 4. It makes me wonder if they have never bought furniture with another person before. Lol When my boyfriend and I bought our bedroom furniture, we had arguments. Now, we didn't have a screaming match right there in the middle of the store but we definitely disagreed about what style we wanted, how much we wanted to pay, etc. We had to leave the store and come back another day after calming down and coming to a compromise. Haha

So I can really relate to all of these and I think my relationship is stronger because of it. You really learn the importance of communication in these types of scenarios. :)

[myTake Owner]

Glad you and your boyfriend survived! Especially the Ikea spat haha. Not sure why everyone is questioning it either, Ikea is super confusing in general and if your opinion is different from your partner's (concerning what to buy/what size/what color etc) of course you're going to argue haha. It's just stressful :D

[xHoneyxBeex]

Exactly! Lol Next time I would probably have a detailed discussion about what we want BEFORE going to the furniture store. Settle the problems before they happen. Haha!

[myTake Owner]

Yes! Pro tip haha.

[vishna]

Oh. my. god I have done all these things with my partner and let me tell you... it isn't the long drives or adjusting to sharing space that hurts the most... it's being exhausted in IKEA and he still wants to look at the damn candle holders.
There is hangry, but we need a new word for tired feet+rage.

[myTake Owner]

Girl I feel you. 99% of the time when I'm going out shopping, I'm a woman on a mission and I know exactly what I want. My boyfriend is the total opposite, he'll get distracted or fascinated by basically anything and will literally stand around for 20 minutes debating (in his own head) over which pillow is the best, EVEN IF WE'RE NOT GETTING ANY DAMN PILLOWS. I haven't fought with him in ikea ever but I've been damn close to throwing an aloe vera plant at his head.

[vishna]

yes! yes! these men don't know how close to the edge they put us. lol also I would relish the day I saw a woman throw a plant at her man in ikea

[myTake Owner]

Exactly!

[MichaelN1991]

These are all always challenges in relationships. For instance, I think moving in together changes everything. Habits that they may not show outwardly, will be seen by the partners on a daily basis. You start discovering different things about each other, that you may not like. Things change after you are married, even though you were living together before. Money is a bigger issue, disagreements are a lot more critical, because they could lead to divorce.

[torken]

Hah, Ikea...

I dunno, I LOVE Ikea! Its fun! I don't see why everyone says its terrible.

I would agree to your first one the most out of all of them

[JulieXO]

I agree with everything except the point about IKEA. I don't think furniture is worth fighting about.

[myTake Owner]

It's actually surprisingly common to fight at IKEA :D

[Nik1hil]

You kidding me, i have seen people fight for chairs and you think furniture aren't worth fighting for..

[Chief16]

I'd expect something a little more hardcore with a lot more adversity, but ok. Different people use different yardsticks, I suppose.

[myTake Owner]

It ain’t that serious

[Chief16]

A'ight...

[SovietBall]

I think I'll try travelling with her next year...

To make it more challenging, I'll be paying for literally every single thing and she won't pay a single cent no matter what!

I just hope she agrees tho...

Wish me luck!

[myTake Owner]

You're only 17 and already stressing about paying for every single thing? That's pretty harsh...

[SovietBall]

I know, but one has to mature, right?

17 is not a young age, I mean, I'm almost 20, so it would be lame to still depend on others; plus I want her to know that I'm serious about her and not in for fooling around, unlike those spoiled brats at her school.

P. S.
It's a matter of year or two and I'll be at college, and I'll have to juggle working and studying anyway to pay the college fees, so it won't hurt if I start juggling working and studying a year or two earlier...

[myTake Owner]

17 is actually very young, you're still a teenager. 17 is almost 20, but also almost 14 lol. Actually it isn't lame at all to still depend on, for instance, your parents. I moved out when I was 20 and I still kinda regret that I didn't stick around for another year or two. Financial stability and independence is cool and all, but it's not always what it seems. It comes with a lot of stress and hard work. And although I'm sure you could handle it, I think you should still take advantage of being young and having someone support you for as long as possible. I'm independent af, but knowing what I know now, I wish I could have stayed home with my parents for just a bit longer.
Also, I think there are plenty of ways that you can show a girl you're serious about her, without basically throwing money at her. To me it seems like you almost just want to impress her with your money, which I don't think is a very healthy mindset to have. Plus, what if things don't work out?

[myTake Owner]

You'll have wasted all that money, which you could have spent on something else, or saved. I think taking a trip somewhere with a girl and not having her spend any money is actually kind of foolish, at least at your age where you don't have a stable job and income.

[SovietBall]

I'm not trying to impress her with my money, I'm just trying to show her that I've decided to man up and prove to her that I do " love her " through my actions so that the three magical words wouldn't be lame...

In fact, here's my plan:-
* Find a job
* Get a great GPA and perfect scores in my standardized tests to secure a chance for me in a prestigious college abroad (This will be a very tough challenge, because I will be juggling studying with working, lol)
* Surprise my crush with a ticket to Maldives with me next year (I really hope she'd say "yes", because I will have been working like a slave to afford that romantic getaway, lol)
* Make her become my fiancee next year before we travel together with the hope of marrying her once I finish college abroad and return home
* Arrange my wedding in a luxurious cruise (Inspired by Titanic, lol)
* Live in a mansion with her
* Have a daughter

I know that seems crazy, but I'm dead serious about that plan, lol!

[myTake Owner]

... right...
Not that your goals aren't admirable, but again, you're only 17. It's good to have plans and all but it seems like you're setting the bar extremely high for yourself. What if your crush doesn't like you? What if you can't find a job or if it's very low-pay (which most jobs are for teens)? How are you even planning a future and a marriage with this girl when you aren't even with her yet? What if you don't do as well on your tests as you think you will? I'm just saying that life is unpredictable. When I was your age I thought I had it all figured out too, but then my life basically got turned upside down and I'm not even close to where I thought I was gonna be. Not in a bad way or anything, it's just extremely different.
You're almost setting yourself up for failure when your goals look like that. They're not impossible to reach but there are like hundreds of goals and steps you need to take IN BETWEEN those big goals you've mapped out. And those will most likely take you

[myTake Owner]

someplace else. If you make your goals too hard to reach and you have a perfectionist's view on life, failure will hit you extremely hard and you'll feel so bad when things don't go exactly the way you've planned (which I can guarantee that they won't, because life is like that and you always have to make changes). It's cool to be a dreamer. Just know when to be realistic about your goals.

[myTake Owner]

Not to mention that taking a girl WHO ISN'T EVEN YOUR GIRLFRIEND on an expensive trip that you plan to pay for 100% is actually kinda creepy.

[SovietBall]

Right, but hey we've been bestfriends for years, so she ain't no stranger

[myTake Owner]

No, but that still doesn't mean that she'll fall head over heels for you just because you present her with a plane ticket to somewhere. Keep it simple. Just ask her out for now. I wouldn't recommend for anyone to travel with a potential partner until you've actually been together for at least a few months. You might have known her for years, but you don't know her in a romantic way (and most importantly, she doesn't know you in a romantic way).

[SovietBall]

I'll just give it a try and we'll see...

I've already prepared for such move, for I've visited her at her school after being apart for 2 years and told her that I love her...
She smiled when I said so, but her response was kinda vague, so I think I'll pay her another visit and ask her out to offer her such trip and we shall see then

[myTake Owner]

She doesn't sound interested. Don't overwhelm her.

[SovietBall]

If she won't be interested, then I'll travel solo and forget about her as if she had never existed...

It's only this one last attempt

[myTake Owner]

If she didn't even respond to you saying "I love you", I doubt she'll want to go on a private trip with you. Sorry dude.

[SovietBall]

It's ok, at least I'll be able to afford travelling to two countries on my own next year, lol

[TacosRAwesome]

Agree on all the above apart from the IKEA on which I haven't done yet. But as long as he doesn't want the fancy old fashioned furniture I don't really mind.

[scooogy]

I would agree to all of these except for the IKEA thing, since even though you have to be on the same side regarding your home, who'd even say a woman would agree with a man having something like a taste of design?

[JimRSmith]

Done all of those, and come through the other side ok.

[Commander_Courtney]

I’ve never had a LD relationship work.
Thanks for sharing.

[themon09]

1. No
2. No
3. HELL NO
4. No

i have enough tests at work and finishing out a graduate degree, either follow my lead or go away

[myTake Owner]

O... kay

[themon09]

can't have 2 leaders, there's a leader and there's a follower. only way a relationship works the leader is benevolent and the follower trusts the leader wants the optimal outcome

[myTake Owner]

I disagree but sure

[themon09]

You can disagree but you'd be wrong, as girls tend to be when it comes to the reality of how dynamics work

[myTake Owner]

okay

[Likes2drive]

All pretty true, been through all of that, and did pass all the tests, I even did them in that order. Marriage lasted 17 years so that must mean something

[jacquesvol]

We started by traveling together, before we dated
:)

[Anonymous]

I agree with all except IKEA. I don't know what to fight about there

[myTake Owner]

You can pick a fight about basically any product you find at IKEA lol

[Opinion Owner]

Hm true

[sawno]

I can tell your nordic purely because Ikea :P

[myTake Owner]

Who me? Pfft

[sawno]

Weren't you Finnish?

[myTake Owner]

I was being sarcastic haha sorry, yes I'm Finnish.

[sawno]

I know you where sarcastic but you mentioning Ikea made me thought you where swedish for a moment haha.

[myTake Owner]

Swedish speaking yes, but Finnish :D

[Anonymous]

i wish i had a girlfriend that can be with me and we do all these things,

[SweetgirlNS]

Never shopped at IKEA, not yet.

[Browneye57]

Are girls always so silly? :)

[PrincessPie]

Again insulting people, what exactly is silly about what she has written?
As it seems pretty reasonable to me, maybe you should write a MyTake and give us your amazing points as i'm sure they're all very knowledgeable.

[myTake Owner]

@PrincessPie dw about it, 60 year olds are always the silliest.

[PrincessPie]

Can't disagree there, definitely in this particular case.

[Browneye57]

@PrincessPie - It's silly because these are not relationship tests. It's cute, but that's about it.

More specifically, we have hundreds of questions that start out with, 'we had a big fight', or 'we argue a lot'. This is the test of a relationship - how do you deal with adversity?
How do you deal with differences in sexual chemistry?
How do you deal with differences in how money is handled.

Going to IKEA is an absolute joke.

But you all know all about it, so carry one. Special snowflakes. :)

And PP's whole life revolves around GAG. She's an authority on all things man and women. Just ask her!

[Browneye57]

*... carry on...

[100musicmaniac]

This is pretty spot on.