Why Keeping Grudges Can be Healthy For You

1. You are not hiding your emotions.

2. You are being honest and not fake.

3. You are making sure no one takes you for granted even if it is a blood relationship.

Why Keeping Grudges Can be Healthy For You

4. It makes people reflect on their actions and their words.

It teaches them a lesson.

5. In some cases, people keep grudges for their self-respect.

It shows you value and respect yourself. It shows you have high standards and you refuse to be treated badly.

6. You have the right to be upset.

It is not compulsory to maintain relationships with people who made you upset without any remorse.

Why Keeping Grudges Can be Healthy For You

7. We are not great like Gandhi and Jesus who said, "if someone slaps you on one cheek, give them your other cheek."

8. It can help settle the score by rejecting someone's invitation, by ignoring someone, and it makes sure the other person is aware of your feelings.

9. It is wrong for someone to hurt your feelings and then just forget about it.

Chances are this will repeat again and again. This happened with me hundreds of times, where someone hurt me, I forgot about it, and then they hurt me again. Those people are my mother, her two sisters and my maternal grandma. I hate those 4 ladies. They treated me like shit and crossed all their limits. They bullied me.

I will never talk to them, I will never go to their house. They didn't help me when I needed them the most. I fell in love with my mom's cousin, who is also my mom's relative because of my aunty, and I asked my aunties to him my feelings, and they refused to help me. In the end, my 10 year old cousin helped me.

just kidding
just kidding
Why Keeping Grudges Can be Healthy For You

If a person treated you badly, he has no right to be surprised if you ignore or if you reject a dinner invitation. That person will call you proud, arrogant and that person will backbite and say you have attitude but don't let him pressurize you, if you don't like him, you don't.

Like one 60 year old man says on this app, we don't deserve anything, it is all about the effort and actions. He also says that some women don't understand actions have consequences. You get what you give.

Even if it is a blood relationship and the other person is older than you, I will say the same thing. Respect has to be two sided.


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What Guys Said 27

  • I think you meant "Why cutting toxic people out of your life can be healthy for you." That's what you were describing..

    A grudge is just festering over what they did to you and letting it be all you think about grow hateful towards them constantly, and that is FAR FROM healthy.

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    • hahahahahahaha yes true
      but I think my title was more catchy and dramatic, because the title about toxic people is self-explanatory
      thanks for your comment

    • You're welcome. Ya that makes sense.

  • Always be true to your self and never lie, even if it will hurt people who you care about , Cause if your doing something you don't need to be doing anyway , Then your just going to end up creating your own problems and trouble's. Later you will regret what you did and learn that we all do this , And we learn from our immaturity

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    • I've regretted forgiving, never regretted cutting cancer out of my life.

  • No No No. Just No! Yes, be open and communicate, but holding a grudge is refusal to forgive which hurts you more than the other person. Teach them a lesson? Ha! Just don't put yourself in that position again, and they can't do it to you again. THAT will teach them a lesson, but let it go! Forgive!

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    • Disagree. While her take was off (for me), I find grudges keep bad rubbish out of my life and remind me not to repeat mistake. I've more often regretted the time I forgave, never regretted burning a bridge to bad people.

  • Its not healthy for your mental health for sure and I usually forgive people for my own good but if someone really triggered me. Then I can be very very ruthless in revenge cuz,
    Death is mercy and the person should be treated so harshly, he should beg for it and when he stop begging then kill him :)

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  • I hold onto my hatred because it reminds me not to make the same mistakes again, it gets rid of rubbish before they can make another mess, and it drives me.

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  • keeping grudges is bullshit. if you're angry, be angry and let them feel it. but you should give people as well as yourself the chance to redeem themselfes in an appropriate amount of time and if they don't bother making up for shit, then ditch them.

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  • Nice information. I never hude my emotions if i have any grudges against anyone I tell them on their face and it reflects in my actions. And i think its healthy for me.

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  • true, specially if the other person, is still blaming you for it or thinks its your fault what happened and don´t reconsider, you don´t need useless people like that in your life.

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  • This forgive and forget stuff is just weak. If someone walks all over you they deserve all the hate you can muster but dwelling on them is really pointless and achieves nothing.

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  • Ah. :-) I love this.
    And I already see the overly positive people in the comments.
    No. Beaing positive all the time is not heathy. Being all the time like sunshine and rainbows is the bad thing for you.

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  • I don't think keeping grudges are healthy for you and I've got big issues on that

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  • I dismiss people without the need to hold a grudge. Fuck em. They're not worth the space in my head.

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  • There is a fair bit of sense in what you say here - Good take

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  • I hold grudges. Why? so I dont forget what someone did to me, they won't change their POV and if the are assholes, you shouldn't bend to their shit

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    • You don’t have to hold a grudge to dismiss somebody
      You can remember the bad experience without harboring over it. Learn from whatever it was, move on, and be content with life. Don’t carry unnecessary drama and hate. It does you no favors, despite this silly article.

    • Show All
    • @Ellie-V I tried other ways, so far mine works. But I can change...

    • Okie dokie

  • I feel what you're saying, but i believe in second chances.

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    • Do you believe in third chances? Forth? I say one strike, you're out. Saves time.

  • Why Keeping Grudges Can be Healthy For You

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  • One thing i would hate in a girl. If she's mad, just tell me. Then we'll fix it, and get over it, instead of letting it rot our relationship.

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  • It can't be good for your heart and mind

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    • I agree, better to get to the root cause if possible and deal with it maturely.

  • Holding grudges is just a waste of time.

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  • Negative energy never does anybody any good...

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  • Keeping grudges can also be regretful.

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  • Never gave it a thought

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  • Great take

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  • Just relax

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  • Interesting myTake. Well done.

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  • It's human psychology to want revenge. You want someone to hurt like you hurt, especially if there was social humiliation involved.

    But you got to dig deep and forgive. I've managed to forgive my second to last ex after she did something exceedingly cruel and callus after we split. I sent her an email two years later, admitted my faults but also explained how hurt I was for what she did but ultimately forgave her and wished her luck.

    It still burns, but I think back to that email every time I get angry. Forgiveness takes time but it's the best way to get your power back.

    But I struggle forgiving other people who have done something that damaged my reputation.

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What Girls Said 19

  • Hi.
    Professional bridge builder here 😊

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  • I get what you’re saying. It’s your way of protecting yourself so that the person who hurt you doesn’t have a chance to do it again and learns their lesson. What I do is just keep my distance from people who hurt me with no remorse. I stop acknowledging them and I don’t go out of my way to make their lives miserable. I have nothing to do with them. It’s more peaceful that way. The anger fades overtime.

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  • You have GOT to be kidding me...

    A person who holds a grudge is toxic and can make you sick! This is coming from a person who has a tendency to hold grudges. You can do all of this without holding a grudge. Because if you hold grudges you can't forgive! There is no love in your heart and it's counterproductive. Nobody owes you a favor.

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  • Holding grudges and giving ultimatums can my you feel "empowered" in your relationships. It can also drive everyone who does love you away from you. So as a person, you need pick your battles wisely - stand up when you need to - but also understand that people are allowed to be angry, scared, and upset, too. People can't and WON'T 100% agree with your values and worldviews 100% of the time. So learning how to communicate with people you disagree with is far better than protecting yourself by putting up walls.

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  • letting it go doesn't equate to dismissing your feelings. you just accept that they messed up and that everyone does at one point and you move on. i dont think grudges are very healthy at all, you're just letting all these negative feelings eat you away.

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  • I don't see it like this although this vey well done.
    I also feel that if you hold a grudge, you have to take it to your grave someday, having hurt someone.

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  • well ya see sit right there and listen i got in the game for a proper knock and a few quid. i just wanted people to leave me alone. the irony of it is now people are all over me. the heaviness of it can get to you if you aren't in the humor of it all

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  • You are right, better to let that shit out than keep it in and let it affect your health. Good Mytake

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  • loll I havnt talked to my brother in like 2 years and we live in the same house

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  • Honey, no. Dismiss them and get on with your life.

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  • Good take

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  • Good MyTake.

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  • Good take I didn’t see it this way

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  • its never any good to keep grudges

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  • Nononono

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  • Big dick energy

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  • Holding grudge is a mind and love space consumer. People act based on what they are. Whatever actions they put on is to themselves and only their vertues is affected but yours will be if you hold on grudges

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  • I totally can relate to this. This is how i am.

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  • I don't know not sure

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