Mr. Right vs. Mr. Right Now: Which One Are YOU Dating?

Mr. Right vs. Mr. Right Now: Which One Are YOU Dating?

Relationships are a part of life in nearly every country and society. I most industrialized first world countries, people have the opportunity to engaged in a multitude of relationships. Whether it’s friends, friends with benefits, or an actual monogamous relationship, most of us have been a participant.

Very rarely, though, does one enter into a monogamous relationship with the intent to never be with them long term. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen, but it is extremely rare. This is especially true if you’re a woman.

I know a lot of guys think women are gold diggers and, yes, some are, but most women are actually looking for Mr. Right. If the man they are with do not meet their standards, then they leave them. Tis the natural order.

But what happens when you think you’ve met Mr. Right? Are you sure he’s Mr. Right? Or does he do things that make you wonder about his loyalty, passion, and overall interest in you?

If he does, then you probably don’t have a Mr. Right. Instead, you have a Mr. Right Now.

Mr. Right:

The man who is faithful to you and meets most of the credentials to be the ideal partner FOR YOU. He is long term material.

Mr. Right Now:

The man who provides you with a learning experience and insights that will (hopefully) help you find Mr. Right. He is a short term stint in your life.

Now, a Mr. Right Now is not necessarily a bad guy. There are plenty of decent men who are a Mr. Right Now for one woman but then Mr. Right for the next. It really depends on your personality, the context of your relationship, and how you two interact.

So which one are you dating now? Let’s find out by answering these questions.


Oh, and guys, these standards can apply to the woman you’re with, too.

Mr. Right vs. Mr. Right Now: Which One Are YOU Dating?

1. Does he accuse you of cheating?

If he does (and you are not cheating and give him no reason to think you are) then he is a Mr. Right Now. Mr. Right is not going to make up accusations against you when you clearly are doing nothing wrong.

Now, if you’re cheating or giving him reason to think you are, then clearly you’re the problem. Either way, let him go.

2. Does he pursue you or do you pursue him?

If he doesn’t pursue you, then he’s a Mr. Right Now. I’m not saying all the effort is on him. You need to show some effort, too. However, if you’re the one constantly trying to make dates or see the other person, then this person is not a Mr. Right. Dating should never be one sided, and if he truly wanted to see you, then he’d make an effort to do so.

Mr. Right vs. Mr. Right Now: Which One Are YOU Dating?

3. Does he expect you to pay for everything?

This is clearly a Mr. or Mrs. Right Now if they do but it also depends on the dynamic of your relationship. The key word in that question is ‘expect’. No one should EXPECT any part of their partners paycheck unless, of course, you’re a stay at home mom and he’s the only source of income. Partners should never feel entitled to their partner’s money or to be taken on a shopping spree whenever they feel like it. We’re people, not bank accounts. And if he expects handouts, then he’s probably not a Mr. Right because he’s not thinking of the two of you as a ‘team’.

4. Do you find yourself rehearsing what you want to say to him?

Truthfully, you should feel comfortable coming to your partner about almost anything. A Mr. Right is someone you should feel comfortable speaking to. Of course there are things that you should maybe rehearse saying just because of the nature of the conversation. But if you’re doing it ALL OF THE TIME because you are unsure of their reaction or you don’t feel comfortable enough to talk to them openly, then this is not a Mr. Right. This is definitely Mr. Right Now.


5. Do you look forward to hanging out with him or do you feel obligated?

Yes, sometimes, you don’t want to see your partner. Sometimes you want time to yourself just to mentally relax and unwind. But if you find that you feel relieved when plans are cancelled or you don’t care that they’ve gone a couple days without contacting you, then you’re probably with a Mr. Right Now.

6. Have you grown more secure or insecure about yourself?

This one is a tricky one to answer. No one can really make you love yourself. That’s pretty much on you. However, if you find yourself being insecure with this person, it’s a Mr. Right Now. Sometimes that’s his fault and sometimes that’s yours. If you can’t feel secure in the relationship of with him because of past experience, then you have some growing to do, and you need to let him go. However, if he is doing things like staying out without telling you where he’s at or texting other women, then he’s damaging you, and you need to leave.

Mr. Right vs. Mr. Right Now: Which One Are YOU Dating?

7. When purchasing a gift for them, are you taking the time to find something nice or are you just buying something to have something to give?

There is such a thing as spontaneous gift giving. There has been several times I’ve bought a gift for a guy I was dating for no particular reason just because I saw it and thought he’d like it. However, when buying a gift for a birthday or holiday, do you take the time to think about what they want or do you just buy something to save face? Do you genuinely care if it’ll blow their mind or are you just shopping because you feel obligated to do so?

If you do, the he’s a Mr. Right Now. He clearly did nothing wrong, but if you don’t particularly care about the gift or his reaction, then he probably isn’t the one for you.

8. Do you guys listen to each other in conversation?

Nothing is more annoying, in my opinion, than feeling like you’re being ignored. If either one of you are ignoring the other in conversation, then you’re with a Mr. Right Now. It doesn’t matter who is doing it to who. Relationships fall apart for three main reasons: Finances, Fidelity, and Communication.

If you two struggle to communicate and listen to one another, then there’s no reason for you to be together.

9. Is there ever any conversation about a future together?

Whether it’s marriage, buying a house, having kids, or whatever floats your boat, there should be some type of conversation about a future together. If there isn’t, then it’s a Mr. Right Now. It’s definitely a Mr. Right Now if one of you wants to talk about the future but the other one never does.

Mr. Right vs. Mr. Right Now: Which One Are YOU Dating?

10. Do you keep your business between the two of you or do you gossip about it with your friends/family?

One of the main rules when it comes to a decent relationship is to KEEP YOUR BUSINESS TO YOURSELF. You should not be running to your friends and family every time you feel he did something wrong. Why? Well, the majority of the reason why you’re doing it is because you want to feel right, even if you’re not. The other reason is because it’s just simply no one else’s business, and you’re putting a bad taste in their mouth about the man you claim you want to be with. If you’re comfortable with pitting everyone against him and making yourself look like a victim, then he’s not your Mr. Right.

Really the only reason you should blab about your relationship issues to anyone else is if you are speaking to a counselor or if you’re in danger. There’s a difference between complaining that he forgot to take the dogs out versus him threatening to stab you in the face with a dagger, and if you’re in danger, you’re definitely NOT with Mr. Right.

This is also the case if the reverse is true. If you find that he’s talking about you to other people in a negative way then you just don’t need that in your life.

Mr. Right vs. Mr. Right Now: Which One Are YOU Dating?

These are only ten questions that can help you know if you’re with the right person or not. And, of course, this all depends on the couple. But if you’re looking for a long term and long lasting relationship, these are definitely questions your should be asking yourself. Your answers are your own, and you should accept them for what they are.


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  • Honestly, Mr. Right Now... turned into Mr. Right.

    When I first started seeing him, I got tired of getting my hopes up when I dated guys only for me to find they were using me, or maybe playing me, or just didn’t go ok. So I figured it’d be easier to just enjoy the moment with someone and see where it goes. Just enjoy the adventure, short or long.

    So that’s what I did! I started seeing a guy who wasn’t going to school, wasn’t planning on to, he just didn’t seem fit for me at all cause I wanted school etc. but for whatever reason, I thought I’d ask him out and maybe I could find some fun with someone. Not sex, but kisssing when things weren’t official etc.

    But what happens? He ends up making it official “because it doesn’t feel right to make out and not be in a relationship.” He said that. Ok, so I went along with it. I still didn’t expect a future... but as time passed I grew to love him. Who he is as a person. How he views the world. He’s very spontaneous! He took me on surprise dates or walks. We’d sneak out. He took care of me and honestly it took sometime, more time than a usual due to the bumps we both encountered, but WE great to love and respect each other. He’s pushed hard to get along with my parents despite that they don’t like him at all.

    How hard is it to continue dating someone when your parents say you’re not good enough for their standards? Not to, even siblings had a hard time.

    In the end, so far after dating him for 1 year and 3 months, I've never been so confident in someone.

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  • Honestly i agree with most of your take even though some of the things are a bit old fashioned , i just believe certain things are up the man and others up to the woman and that is how it is going to be (specifically regarding 2 and 3).

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Right now I have just started the potential for a serious relationship. She got out of a really terrible relationship and my last relationship was the same way.

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  • That's pretty much the same the other way around ;)

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    • I know. That's why I said that this list can apply to women as well.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • '3. Does he expect you to pay for everything?
    This is clearly a Mr. or Mrs'

    Funny how u mentioned 'he' in the question but then had to include 'mrs' in the answer when you realized that its u fkn women who are always expecting men to pay.. not the other way round

    fkn gold diggers

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    • Well, men should pay lol. Number three is more like entitled to his check in terms of him paying for your nails, your hair, your clothes, your make up, and all the bills in the relationship because that's not how it works. Most women do not think that way in the first place.

      But if you were to ask me do I think he should be paying during the first couple months of us dating then my answer would be yes. That's not being a gold digger. There's a difference between being a gold digger and wanting to know that your man doesn't mind sharing. Key word being 'sharing'.

      Personally, I think men on this site don't like paying for dates because they flat out just don't have the money.

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    • Allie_Oops you have got to be kidding. I had a relationship where she paid for everything because she had more coming in than me. The tables turned and I was the bread maker so naturally paid for everything I could afford! Like teamwork, helping each other.

      What tickles me is you dont give up sex for money but you'll have the guy buy you everything for a 'long time' you said before you'll fck him so you are infact the cancer are you not?

    • @uasvzs Well I guess the way she sees it is that the time period in which the guy pays for stuff and courts her is like an extended paying period for when they have sex and he "gets what he wants". It's like paying a girl a drink to go home with you, except she goes home with you only like 5 years later. :D

      Either way, at that second, it's certainly not "sharing".

  • I have a doubt, is it necessary to have a discussion about marriage and kids to be Mr. Right.
    What if the dude never plans on getting married but is looking for a long term relationship.
    Just curious.

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    • I don't understand why anyone dislikes you for this, you are just making a question politely, crazy people. Answering your doubt and according to the post I suppose it's necessary the discussion to consider a Mr o Mrs Right, yes. In case you don't plan to marriage or having kids is necessary the discussion to ensure you both want the same. If discussing you see you both don't want to marry or have kids but want that long term relationship... Congratulations! You are someone possible Mr. Right and found your possible Mrs. Right!

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    • It probably got a lot of dislikes because the question doesn't make sense. If the woman wants kids and marriage and he doesn't, then he isn't Mr. Right for her. If she doesn't want kids and marriage, then he could be. I didn't say anywhere that he HAS to want kids and marriage. I just said that you should have a discussion about your future plans. There are plenty of men and women who do not want to get married and have long term relationships.

    • Yeah cool, I don't really care about the dislikes. I just had an honest doubt and got it cleared. That's enough for me

  • Don't give a woman what she want's. If she does need something and it is necessary for her well being give her what is needed. I need a man that gives me what I want. Right there is an evil consuming spirit that feeds on the wealth of men and consumes the weak as servants. A woman's desire to consume all of nature and leave it in ash to give herself pleasure is insatiable. Mr right or Mr right now? Men don't know that women see them as dumb slaves willing to give them everything get up on the cross and die for them and the women already have a messiah waiting to fall the same fate. MGTOW and Robots. Good luck building your tower of power women because of the I need to get paid but I don't want to work glass ceiling.

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    • Where was the last time you got laid?

    • Seriously. MGTOWs should be banned from this site.

      She’s not saying that women can’t also do an effort to make her man happy. Grow up, stop being an emotional fucking toddler, and be as logical as you portray yourselves to be.

      In this site, most men are FAR FROM being “reasonable” as they’re portrayed. Pfffft

  • I am confused my parents say my boyfriend is not working hard. But we work nearby but we cannot meet up due to my work and his work. Sometime he go to the main office to have meeting. How to explain to my parents?

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  • In my past relationship. Some of the guys did cheat on me and I did dump them. I did assume that my ex be was cheating but turned to be cheating on me anyway before I met my new guy. We only have one issue so far. Anything else is ok. My current boyfriend ask if I was cheating I said I cheating is stupid to think that. He said sorry after that.

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  • He's been red flagging me like crazy and we ain't even together right now🙄
    I'm still learning about myself in his presence though, for now, we're just friends.

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  • According to that. y boyfriend would be between those two, nearest to Mr. Right but not fully one I suppose 🤔

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  • I am not dating but yeah I guess this could help someone who isn’t aware of unhealthy relationships.

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  • Fuck that shit I'm not Mr. right never will be I love to have fun what eles is there to do outside of work and if your me work is fun I love spending time with women I allway do right by them and treat them right I all ways show them a good time sometimes it lasts 2or 3 weeks they know how I am I will never make a commitment. Besides I'm having the time of my life people should do what I do enjoy yourself however you like. It brings me pleasure somethimes telling a beautiful girl get the fuck out of my house. So basically what I'm saying if I am saying anything at all is fuck Mr. Right and Mrs. Right to

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  • Love this take.

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  • Mr Right now ! Lol

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  • I got the Mr Right !

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  • He’s 100% Mr Right.

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  • Interesting take

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  • Many, so freeing to do so in my opinion

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  • Good mytake

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  • Mr. Nobody :(

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    • Here I am I'm honest loyal passionate romantic I know how to treat a girl

  • no one at the moment

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  • Mr Right

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  • Interesting take thanks for sharing

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  • Mrs Right Now.

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