Why Men Stay Single - The Real Story

SINGLISM?
SINGLISM?

Plenty of comments pulled in that matter like these:


- “I just don't want to date somebody that still gives a shit how many likes their duck-face selfie gets and thinks they're hot shit for drinking infinite Starbucks.”


- “Some bitch "claimed" my free hugs shirt and you can't get other bitches without no free hugs.”

- “Our tinder is a shit show filled with single moms wearing a camo hoodie.”

Back to the question. Why men stay single?


From some news paper perspective and I quote: "In the past, marriages were arranged, so men did not have to have any social skills to have a mate.


Now, however, men who have difficulty flirting or are unable to impress the opposite sex may remain single because their social skills have not evolved to meet today’s societal demands."

That was it. Reporters were off and running, giving us headlines such as “Deficient social skills may hamper single men” and (from Newsweek) “…men think they are too awkward and ugly for love.

Here are the four most popular categories of reasons for staying single, according to the news and the number of responses coded in each of those categories:

Poor looks: 662 responses
Low self-esteem, confidence: 544 responses
Low effort: 514 responses
Not interested in relationships: 424 responses
Enjoying being single: 217 responses.
Are these the real reasons single men stay single?

I don’t doubt that there are single men who do not want to be single, and who are hindered in their efforts to attract a mate by factors such as poor social skills or having the kinds of looks that are not valued.

But The publication of this subject, along with the press release, has given countless reporters permission to write articles putting down single men, under the cover of science.


And so we see headlines and articles describing single men as ugly, awkward, fat, bald, deficient, and sad.

Never once do they acknowledge what makes single life so meaningful to so many people.


For example, they do not mention that single people do more to maintain their bonds with friends, neighbors, parents, and siblings than married people do.


They don't have anything to say about the meaningfulness of the work or the passions they pursue.


They do not acknowledge the psychological benefits that solitude can bring.


They are not going to tell you that when people marry, they typically do not become lastingly happier.


And they certainly are not going to let you know that the most recent, most sophisticated studies show that people who marry in some ways become less healthy than they were when they were single.


The subject, with all the attention it is getting, is poisoning our cultural narratives.


It is getting noticed by real single people, who are at risk of internalizing it as scientific evidence that being single means that there is something wrong with them.

Bottom Line:
I think everyone should understand that SINGLE LIFE in the 21st century is a respectable, meaningful, and—to many men—desirable option.


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Most Helpful Guys

  • "I think everyone should understand that SINGLE LIFE in the 21st century is a respectable, meaningful, and—to many men—desirable option"

    You're just stating the opinion of someone who has the choice. Totally putting aside those don't. And there are many of them.
    Sure, single life can be nice, as long as you know you can leave it whenever you want. If tomorrow you feel lonely, need love and someone in your life, you can't decide to have it.
    But people like me can't. Single life isn't an option among others, it's my only option. It's not desirable, it's a curse. A curse I live with every day, whether I want it or not. When I feel lonely, when I need someone, when I need love in my life, I can't decide to get it because it never works. I'm not lucky to be single, I'm forced.

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  • The only time I ever thought being single was a good thing was the day I moved states. Other than that, I can name exactly zero benefits or positives to the single life. I've stayed in relationships where I wasn't happy because it still beats being single. To give you an idea, after my last girlfriend broke up with me, I got on every dating site I could think of within the first ten minutes of being single.

    The whole MGTOW thing is just a defeatist attitude, a male version of a cat lady if you ask me. If you like that then good for you, but I never have, can, or will see any positive to being single.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I am healthier being single for sure. I don’t have anyone getting in my way, being jealous, taking up the time I need for self care.
    That said, men who are unsecure and/or have poor social skills are an emotional burden and a drain on their partner so the option to stay single rather than risking health is a more realistic and desireable choice would n these times.
    The biggest problem with men these days is that they don’t listen and would rather try to assert their own agendas.
    It’s Darwin time, so if men want to stay relevant in the dating scene, they need to level up.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I noticed that too. The only place where you find positive aspects of being single as a man is on mgtow forums. But there are plenty of articles on positive aspects of being single as a woman. Just another way feminist society tries to lift women and push men down. Time to change that by standing up for men's rights.
    #mensrights #mentoo #himtoo #mgtow #mra

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  • Being single is seemingly trendy and a solid lifestyle.

    Got no desire to share my passwords for my devices, emails and giving up on my privacy.
    Or enduring nagging.
    Or having to submit likes for their shit or to refrain from liking shit online. I don't even have social media.
    Or spending (lots of) money.
    Standards seem sky high. We are not Christian Grey or Brad Pitt.

    Yeah. This is what we have come to.

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  • mayby i just dont want some girl walk into my life and than to rip everything away. the uncertainty scare me, and women are full of it. they're emotional. they only want handsome guy, girl treat you like shit in highschool, boy bully the shit outta you for being a study nerd while the cool kid hang out. at the end the cool kid working in a fast food resturant and barely get by and i take joy seeing them on my way to work with a condecending chuckle. the chemical in women brain make them want to have a child like its mating season, soon or later that will wore off and it will. most of my classmate who dont have any self value and just fool around have kid at young age barely out of highschool. next thing you know you are divorce, stuck in a shitty motel barely have money to live while paying for your house that she now live in with her new boyfriend whom she sundenly lower her standard since she is hitting the wall and just want someone to take care of her financial only and i can feel the male side in their eye that they just wanna buy a revolver and play russian roulette every night and just hope that they actually get the bullet. thats how most of it all end in this generation.

    i have never ever date anyone, when i try to i think of this everytime, what happen to all my classmate
    hell, dating someone and one thing go wrong and she can falsely acuse you of rape and you end up in jail for 10-20 years
    i dont wanna date til this toxic feminazi died out

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  • Being in a relationship or in love are just a tiny portion of hundred of things that can make you happy. With all the activities and opportunities that exists today it's easy to fill that void.

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  • Here's the thing too, I am much happier no that I'm single than I was when I was with my most recent ex, who is a trainwreck. I'd much rather be single, focus on me, and my work than be with someone that soul sucking. For whatever reason we're allowing relationships to define us, when some of the greatest people to ever live never married. (Nicola Tesla, Queen Elizabeth I, David Lee Roth)

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  • Good take.😉

    I think they try to find things to make single men look bad as part of the whole "men need women to have any sort of worth" mentality propagated by feminists.

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  • Here's my main reason. I'm unable to trust a woman to the point that I would let her into my life. I have my limits

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  • There is that double-standard of single man = loser, single female = strong independent woman.

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  • Interesting take. Well, I'm over 40, and I haven't really seen the kind of girl who has what I want...

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  • my main reason is that I'm not built for stress and drama. I think i'm more than happy fucking sex workers instead

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  • It's my money and I'm not spending it on some vagina.
    - Some MGTOW Virgin

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  • Good take. Those people are just making single men sound like sad losers.

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  • It always was - it was just that many societies didn't think so.

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  • I am Single. Not looking to Stay this way. Guy chick Magnets interest me...

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  • straight to the point: isn't committed or ready for a relationship

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  • Skewed divorce laws are also a factor.

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  • @Browneye57 what's your take on this?

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    • I think ya got a lonely guy that justifies is singleness. If'n he put the work in to be a truly desirable mate and pursued his life mission goals and aspirations, he would get to a point where he's ready to GIVE love and share is life with a high value woman. He's just not there yet, only looking things from what he can GET. And that's just not what love and having a mate is about.

    • @Browneye57 Agree. Nice take Brownie!! maybe this lad will get it some day

    • Some do. Some don't. So what. It's your job in dating to be able to make a determination.
      Some guys never get to the place where they have enough to give. They continue to look at their life and what they do, and their relationships, from what they are GETTING. It's narcissistic and immature. And we already know a guy's brain doesn't even fully form 'till about 25. They really need another ten years to really get it, and even then some just never do.

  • Good take

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  • Well true

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  • Not interested at all.

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  • Didn’t know this thanks for sharing!

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  • I life in a rich sea side village in NZ, population 300... been single for 4months since moving here. Don't know anyone. Lonely asf. Really good looking guy and rich but just no single woman around here

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  • I'm 170cm tall, so being single is pretty much the status quo for me.

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  • I don't think many people men find it desirable, they've just had bad experiences, which can be off putting, but deep down they'd want someone to share their life with

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  • Didn't know that!

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  • sjkhihcvinafbv

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