Plenty of comments pulled in that matter like these:
- “I just don't want to date somebody that still gives a shit how many likes their duck-face selfie gets and thinks they're hot shit for drinking infinite Starbucks.”
- “Some bitch "claimed" my free hugs shirt and you can't get other bitches without no free hugs.”
- “Our tinder is a shit show filled with single moms wearing a camo hoodie.”
Back to the question. Why men stay single?
From some news paper perspective and I quote: "In the past, marriages were arranged, so men did not have to have any social skills to have a mate.
Now, however, men who have difficulty flirting or are unable to impress the opposite sex may remain single because their social skills have not evolved to meet today’s societal demands."
That was it. Reporters were off and running, giving us headlines such as “Deficient social skills may hamper single men” and (from Newsweek) “…men think they are too awkward and ugly for love.
Here are the four most popular categories of reasons for staying single, according to the news and the number of responses coded in each of those categories:
Poor looks: 662 responses
Low self-esteem, confidence: 544 responses
Low effort: 514 responses
Not interested in relationships: 424 responses
Enjoying being single: 217 responses.
Are these the real reasons single men stay single?
I don’t doubt that there are single men who do not want to be single, and who are hindered in their efforts to attract a mate by factors such as poor social skills or having the kinds of looks that are not valued.
But The publication of this subject, along with the press release, has given countless reporters permission to write articles putting down single men, under the cover of science.
And so we see headlines and articles describing single men as ugly, awkward, fat, bald, deficient, and sad.
Never once do they acknowledge what makes single life so meaningful to so many people.
For example, they do not mention that single people do more to maintain their bonds with friends, neighbors, parents, and siblings than married people do.
They don't have anything to say about the meaningfulness of the work or the passions they pursue.
They do not acknowledge the psychological benefits that solitude can bring.
They are not going to tell you that when people marry, they typically do not become lastingly happier.
And they certainly are not going to let you know that the most recent, most sophisticated studies show that people who marry in some ways become less healthy than they were when they were single.
The subject, with all the attention it is getting, is poisoning our cultural narratives.
It is getting noticed by real single people, who are at risk of internalizing it as scientific evidence that being single means that there is something wrong with them.
I think everyone should understand that SINGLE LIFE in the 21st century is a respectable, meaningful, and—to many men—desirable option.