Thank you so much for explaining this in detail! I’m asexual as well, and it can be aggravating when someone doesn’t know what it is and they make judgment on you.
Thaaaaaank you. Though I still have yet to fall in love with anyone, this is something that needs to be more well-known. Honestly, my high school bestie is one of the only people who treats me as anything more than a robot when it comes to this.
no according to society sex = love, smh, why the fuck does society act like know it alls, they don't know everything, and love is a feeling, sex is an activity
My case is similar but different. There's the girl I like and for some reason I feel zero sexual attraction towards her. That goes for all my previous crushes. yet I do for other females.
Kinda. It seems that in my case it's because I have ADHD and I hyperfocus. Basically I can only like one girl at a time and I only one way. So because my attention towards her is romantic she gets excluded from my sexual desire.
If I'm right in my self analysis I was better of not knowing. Because ADHD is something you are born with. And you have it till the day you die
Oh I know I'm ADHD clinically tested. The only possible doubt here is if it's ADHD causing it. But I definitely have it. And autism ADD and plenty of other mental disorders are known for chronic rejection dysphoria mixed in with an incapacity to search from unrequited love and selective asexuality
You're a really nice person. And you care about her. But you really just want to be friends. You want to love her. But you don't. So just accept that and just be friends.
Hey Jamie you're normally right but I'm gonna disagree on this one. Go search up ADHD on Reddit followed by unrequited love. I know my friends from my love interests. I feel comfortable around females j want to be Freund's with. I don't around these 3 or 4 that have sent me down self inflicted torture lane
I may not have phrased that properly. I meant I feel comfortable around female friends but I don't around the 3 or 4 females I've crushed on. And I can forget a friend but for all my fucking desire I can forget these girls. It's like I forced myself to move on leaving a piece for me on the way. Anyways you being ADHD aswell doesn't really guarantee same life experience. We have shared characteristics but we definetly still have differences even in romantic methodology
I'm asexual to the point where I don't care about sex at all, I feel as though that's a turn off for men and that's why I'll be alone anyway in life. Plus my sex drive is basically non-existent.
You better be sexual with him Or he’s gone. I wasted six months on an asexual girl. I told her I’d give her one month to be sexual, if not then I could find sex elsewhere and I did just that. Never felt a bit bad or guilty.
A lot of people I know aren't interested in sex until they meet that "special someone", someone they can see spending the rest of their life with. Then sex becomes something they'd like to do. :)
I mean that’s the entire problem with labels. A person with a label will generally be looked at as a person with attributes of that group, often traits attributed from others who may not be the same.
When will people learn that all there is... is a relationship towards a man and a woman? If people have been having kids for literally... EVER... and now these past 40 years or so give or take people are suddenly into asexual, transsexual, bisexual, pansexual, omnisexual, metrosexual, homosexual, heterosexual, allsexual, especially the past decade. Is it not completely ridiculous? If people of the past didn't do those things and people now do, then aren't the people of today Extremely Brainwashed?
People in the past didn't do it cause back then the rulers were strict asses, they punished anything that was different from what they thought was normal Today, people are open to change and are more compassionate. Gender and sexuality is a fluid concept and isn't always a solid answer.
@sasukeuchiha7 What is evil then? where does it end. There are things I could tell you that I shouldn't about people I know that are unimaginable that they do and think its ok. The problem with people these days is that nothing is evil, no matter how horrible.
Evil is when you hurt innocent people for living how they want to, evil is raping someone, murdering someone, torturing someone, bullying, ragging and I could go on. That is evil.
@sasukeuchiha7 It doesn't effect me physically when millions murder or rather abort their babies either. It hurts to see so many people in pain. I can't help that I have a heart and a conscience. Men and women belong together and what I have learned is when I question personally one of those people who supposedly believe otherwise, I find out somewhere he or she had a major issue, even if it started at age 6.
@Just_a_human I accept that's certainly possible. My question is genuine though. I'm curious how she arrived at her conclusions about herself. Not saying she is wrong.
So I'm talking to a girl who is asexual right now. Is there a chance of her developing sexual feelings and I have a couple of other questions that I'd like to ask in DM if you don't mind.
I'm not asexual myself, but from talking with people who are I know that it isn't something that changes. Much like someone who is homosexual wouldn't suddenly turn heterosexual if they keep hanging out with someone who is interested in them.
That's my struggle too. While I don't necessarily have a high sex drive, sex and intimacy are quite important to me in a relationship. On the dating site I browse from time to time, people can say they are asexual. Though I hate to say it, I do pass them because of that. It's just such a fundamental difference, that I can't see myself in a relationship with someone who doesn't want sex, ever.
I am asexual, I don't think y'all can be blamed for wanting sex in a relationship. It does suck for aces because we are so few, but you know we can't blame y'all
And she has told me that she may not be the girl for me if I want sex all the time but I said it's fine we'll just take it as it goes because I didn't want to be shallow
@shessoheavy if you don't mind me asking, what would a relationship look like to you? I'm curious since I personally couldn't imagine a relationship without intimacy/sex.
I don't fall in love with people either, (I am aromantic), So basically it would be best friends but with the time spent with each more like a typical romantic relationship. It doesn't sound like y'all are talking about aromantic though.
Asexuality is a mental condition, not unlike homosexuality. Its most likely caused by something similar as well, hormonal imbalances in the womb during specific phases of pregnancy which cause certain sectors of the brain to underdevelop. Along with some environmental factors.
Though it can also be caused by purely mental factors, some trauma or another.
There's a prettu good an well researched book on human sexuality that touchea on this stuff called "The chemestry between us"
@Torari I'm not denying some people maybe don't have a sex drive I'm just saying that they don't need to make a label so that they feel special, they should also give sex a try they'll probably like it.
@Torari, I agree. It's definitely an abnormal malady. I do know that asexual people exist, but they are sad. It's like having a grave deformity or like being only half alive. I don't say that to be mean but I couldn't think of any other way to say it.
@BonnieBunny how is that ew? cause if you don't fuck, you are litterally just friends by my definition xD like why would you wanna kiss, if you don't wanna fuck. doesn't make sense to me.
Imagine buying a car but it doesn't have wheels and refuses to get any. Sorry but that's you. Guaranteed when that guy finds out he'll drop you like a stone. If you care then you owe him honesty
@AuroraRoseat, sapiosexual still means SEXUAL! I get turned on heavily by smart women, hence, "sapiosexual", that means I want to FUCK them because they're smart. How did you get the idea that sapiosexuals aren't into fucking and have no need for sex?
What if she WASN'T as intelligent as he would normally desire? He wouldn't be turned on but, if he desired, a relationship could work. There are plenty of possibilities in which a relationship COULD occur and it's not limited as you probably think.
@AuroraRoseat, if he's sexual in any way, it won't work. That's called "reality". I get your difficulty, though, women don't do "reality" all that well.
@AuroraRoseat, yeah, and your actual experience with this beyond silly, stupid fantasy, is? What are the numbers? What's the percent success rate? Get over yourself and join reality. Asexual men don't care about sex, so that's who asexual women need to seek out. Of course, anyone who doesn't agree with your blind, pig-ignorant, delusional dogmas is "narrow-minded".
You must be defining asexual different than I have heard it described then. Asexual means a lack of sexual attraction to anyone. Asexuals can get married for other reasons.
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Thank you so much for explaining this in detail! I’m asexual as well, and it can be aggravating when someone doesn’t know what it is and they make judgment on you.
Asexuals don't exist and I'm a doctor, Dr. Toboggan, Mantis Toboggan.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ma95HiDXBYEReally?
Most doctors would disagree with you though
Sis he’s joking.
Thaaaaaank you.
Though I still have yet to fall in love with anyone, this is something that needs to be more well-known.
Honestly, my high school bestie is one of the only people who treats me as anything more than a robot when it comes to this.
no according to society sex = love, smh, why the fuck does society act like know it alls, they don't know everything, and love is a feeling, sex is an activity
My case is similar but different. There's the girl I like and for some reason I feel zero sexual attraction towards her. That goes for all my previous crushes. yet I do for other females.
Yooo same here!
Is she physically attractive?
She is. By pretty much any guys standard
Omg I'm so glad to see someone having the same problem
Have you found a reason for it yet?
Kinda. It seems that in my case it's because I have ADHD and I hyperfocus. Basically I can only like one girl at a time and I only one way. So because my attention towards her is romantic she gets excluded from my sexual desire.
If I'm right in my self analysis I was better of not knowing. Because ADHD is something you are born with. And you have it till the day you die
Omg are you sure? I hope that's not the case for both of us :/
Get yourself checked at a psychologist maybe?
Oh I know I'm ADHD clinically tested. The only possible doubt here is if it's ADHD causing it. But I definitely have it. And autism ADD and plenty of other mental disorders are known for chronic rejection dysphoria mixed in with an incapacity to search from unrequited love and selective asexuality
Then you don't really like her.
What is it then?
Infatuation, obsession?
You're a really nice person. And you care about her. But you really just want to be friends. You want to love her. But you don't. So just accept that and just be friends.
Hey Jamie you're normally right but I'm gonna disagree on this one. Go search up ADHD on Reddit followed by unrequited love. I know my friends from my love interests. I feel comfortable around females j want to be Freund's with. I don't around these 3 or 4 that have sent me down self inflicted torture lane
With all due respect, bro, I know all about ADHD and unrequited love. I have experienced both.
So if you feel zero attraction towards her, and you feel comfortable around her... how is that not just friends?
I may not have phrased that properly. I meant I feel comfortable around female friends but I don't around the 3 or 4 females I've crushed on. And I can forget a friend but for all my fucking desire I can forget these girls. It's like I forced myself to move on leaving a piece for me on the way. Anyways you being ADHD aswell doesn't really guarantee same life experience. We have shared characteristics but we definetly still have differences even in romantic methodology
I'd be interested in arguing the differences but if rather do it in PM's.
I'm asexual to the point where I don't care about sex at all, I feel as though that's a turn off for men and that's why I'll be alone anyway in life. Plus my sex drive is basically non-existent.
There is no such thing as Asexual. Your either straight, bi or gay.
Yes people fell in love all the time. That's normal life. No matter which way your boat floats
Wronnng~
That is incorrect.
You better be sexual with him
Or he’s gone. I wasted six months on an asexual girl. I told her I’d give her one month to be sexual, if not then I could find sex elsewhere and I did just that. Never felt a bit bad or guilty.
A lot of people I know aren't interested in sex until they meet that "special someone", someone they can see spending the rest of their life with. Then sex becomes something they'd like to do. :)
Most likely you aren't asexual. It's just that You Know you need to have developed feelings for someone before feeling sexual attraction for them.
That is healthy.
I do wish you the best of luck with this but truly hope you don’t get your hopes up.
Frankly a girl who has no interest in sex has very little value to most men.
I mean that’s the entire problem with labels. A person with a label will generally be looked at as a person with attributes of that group, often traits attributed from others who may not be the same.
Like the post but wrong usage of asexual.
Asexual means creatures can reproduce without needing a partner and I dont think humans are asexual
I'm this post, asexuallity is not used in its literal sense. She's not referring to the dictionary definition.
Asexual this homo lesbian gay that. Why can't men just be men and women just be women get pregnant by their man?
Cause not everyone is a simpleton like you.
@sasukeuchiha7
When will people learn that all there is... is a relationship towards a man and a woman? If people have been having kids for literally... EVER... and now these past 40 years or so give or take people are suddenly into asexual, transsexual, bisexual, pansexual, omnisexual, metrosexual, homosexual, heterosexual, allsexual, especially the past decade. Is it not completely ridiculous? If people of the past didn't do those things and people now do, then aren't the people of today Extremely Brainwashed?
People in the past didn't do it cause back then the rulers were strict asses, they punished anything that was different from what they thought was normal
Today, people are open to change and are more compassionate. Gender and sexuality is a fluid concept and isn't always a solid answer.
@sasukeuchiha7 Very VERY brainwashed. You peoples brains are clean of morality and common sense.
Well they do exist so it doesn't matter what you think. Just accept the fact and try go on with your hateful life.
@sasukeuchiha7 I dont hate, they hate, I love.
They don't hate, they just want to live in peace without people trying to kill them or tell them their existence is a sin.
@sasukeuchiha7 What is evil then? where does it end. There are things I could tell you that I shouldn't about people I know that are unimaginable that they do and think its ok. The problem with people these days is that nothing is evil, no matter how horrible.
Evil is when you hurt innocent people for living how they want to, evil is raping someone, murdering someone, torturing someone, bullying, ragging and I could go on. That is evil.
@sasukeuchiha7 I know people who think its normal and get offended if you argue with them on it.
I have no idea where you're taking this. This argument is losing meaning. Good bye
@sasukeuchiha7 Asexuality doesn't exist as murder and rape and theft shouldn't exist, but they do. They do because people every say it is ok.
everywhere"*
I don't get it. Why are you so bothered with someone else being asexual, how does it even affect you?
@sasukeuchiha7 It doesn't effect me physically when millions murder or rather abort their babies either. It hurts to see so many people in pain. I can't help that I have a heart and a conscience. Men and women belong together and what I have learned is when I question personally one of those people who supposedly believe otherwise, I find out somewhere he or she had a major issue, even if it started at age 6.
I'm tired of this, good bye. Don't reply anymore.
Why are you so certain you can't feel sexual desire?
Because it's fashionable among young women to claim it in the present day.
@HereIbe or maybe she truly is just asexual
@Just_a_human I accept that's certainly possible. My question is genuine though. I'm curious how she arrived at her conclusions about herself. Not saying she is wrong.
okay.
So I'm talking to a girl who is asexual right now. Is there a chance of her developing sexual feelings and I have a couple of other questions that I'd like to ask in DM if you don't mind.
I'm not asexual myself, but from talking with people who are I know that it isn't something that changes. Much like someone who is homosexual wouldn't suddenly turn heterosexual if they keep hanging out with someone who is interested in them.
@GuyWannaHelp gotcha. I really like her but I also have an extremely high sex drive soooo
That's my struggle too.
While I don't necessarily have a high sex drive, sex and intimacy are quite important to me in a relationship. On the dating site I browse from time to time, people can say they are asexual. Though I hate to say it, I do pass them because of that. It's just such a fundamental difference, that I can't see myself in a relationship with someone who doesn't want sex, ever.
@GuyWannaHelp yea there's a part of me that thinks it's shallow but like you said... Fundamental
I am asexual, I don't think y'all can be blamed for wanting sex in a relationship. It does suck for aces because we are so few, but you know we can't blame y'all
@shessoheavy thanks for that viewpoint!
And she has told me that she may not be the girl for me if I want sex all the time but I said it's fine we'll just take it as it goes because I didn't want to be shallow
I think trying is definite proof you are not
@shessoheavy if you don't mind me asking, what would a relationship look like to you? I'm curious since I personally couldn't imagine a relationship without intimacy/sex.
@GuyWannaHelp I was just about to ask that myself
I don't fall in love with people either, (I am aromantic), So basically it would be best friends but with the time spent with each more like a typical romantic relationship. It doesn't sound like y'all are talking about aromantic though.
@shessoheavy I don't know honestly 😂😂😂
I mean I don't really believe asexuality is a real thing so I see no reason someone who claims to be asexual couldn't fall in love.
Asexuality is a mental condition, not unlike homosexuality. Its most likely caused by something similar as well, hormonal imbalances in the womb during specific phases of pregnancy which cause certain sectors of the brain to underdevelop. Along with some environmental factors.
Though it can also be caused by purely mental factors, some trauma or another.
There's a prettu good an well researched book on human sexuality that touchea on this stuff called "The chemestry between us"
@Torari I'm not denying some people maybe don't have a sex drive I'm just saying that they don't need to make a label so that they feel special, they should also give sex a try they'll probably like it.
Yeah, i agree. Labels usually do more harm than good.
@Torari totally agree
@Torari, I agree. It's definitely an abnormal malady. I do know that asexual people exist, but they are sad. It's like having a grave deformity or like being only half alive. I don't say that to be mean but I couldn't think of any other way to say it.
I don't get the point of love without sex. Like what separates love from a best friend if there's no sex?
Kissing
@BonnieBunny you can kiss a friend xD
Ew who the heck kisses their friends
@BonnieBunny how is that ew? cause if you don't fuck, you are litterally just friends by my definition xD like why would you wanna kiss, if you don't wanna fuck. doesn't make sense to me.
Imagine buying a car but it doesn't have wheels and refuses to get any.
Sorry but that's you.
Guaranteed when that guy finds out he'll drop you like a stone.
If you care then you owe him honesty
Men can be romantic asexuals as well. I know one.
@AuroraRoseat, if he's not, though, it won't work.
It can if he has a low sex drive, a sapiosexual etc. It can work.
@AuroraRoseat, sapiosexual still means SEXUAL! I get turned on heavily by smart women, hence, "sapiosexual", that means I want to FUCK them because they're smart. How did you get the idea that sapiosexuals aren't into fucking and have no need for sex?
What if she WASN'T as intelligent as he would normally desire? He wouldn't be turned on but, if he desired, a relationship could work. There are plenty of possibilities in which a relationship COULD occur and it's not limited as you probably think.
I also never said that sapiosexuals have no desire for sex. The reason I added it was BECAUSE of the scenario I outlined.
@AuroraRoseat, if he's sexual in any way, it won't work. That's called "reality". I get your difficulty, though, women don't do "reality" all that well.
No. You're just narrow-minded. There are those who will forego it if they like the girl. Not all men are the same.
@AuroraRoseat, yeah, and your actual experience with this beyond silly, stupid fantasy, is? What are the numbers? What's the percent success rate? Get over yourself and join reality. Asexual men don't care about sex, so that's who asexual women need to seek out. Of course, anyone who doesn't agree with your blind, pig-ignorant, delusional dogmas is "narrow-minded".
There are those who will forego it. Literally less then 1%
Probably got more chance of being murdered then finding that guy
You must be defining asexual different than I have heard it described then. Asexual means a lack of sexual attraction to anyone. Asexuals can get married for other reasons.