The other day, I found myself watching this TV series about an experiment of falling in love with someone based on their personality first. Men and women were put into rooms and they could talk and communicate with one another without ever seeing each other, granted getting to know someone for ten days (without seeing this person) does not warrant an engagement which was the result of the experiment. However, I found the idea quite intriguing. When I asked my friend if she could do something like this, she, of course, said no.
The way someone looks plays a big role in choosing a partner and often personality is not taken into account. I have asked multiple questions on what many people find attractive about their ideal person, many men have gravitated towards long hair, attractive face, short, etc, and when it came to the women, many went towards neat, tall, attractive, etc. Many ideas went to looks first, but then you dive into what personality they look for then it goes into " someone sweet, not clingy, funny, respectful, passionate, adorable, kind, etc", the problem with this is that you won't always find someone with the wanted personality fitting the wanted looks.
Expectations are set high unnecessarily because we always take looks into account first, and yet we also ask that that specific attractive person also has the ideal personality we are looking for too, seems very much unrealistic no? And yet we won't give the other person a chance because "my friends don't think he is attractive", "she has short hair", "she has a bad laugh", "he's too emotional", "she wears too much black", etc, its amazing how people find faults in something natural and in something that they have no business wanting to change. A quote that that I always remember is "You choose the love you think you deserve" and often times its a subconscious move. If you try and change other people, bad or good, know that you are the one with the problem and something about yourself needs to change first.