i'd feel uncomfortable letting a guy pay everthing no matter if we are in a relationship, dating or just friends, it would feel like i am using them or if i owe them something, so i usually take turns or share bills
@Giselleboss With that statement you obviously think what you have is better than any other woman in this world, let me tell you this (WRONG). Maybe you might use it more than some women do but when it comes down to it, every woman has one and every woman knows what it's for and how to use it.
If only the girl is earning then she should pay everything. If only the man is earning then he should pay everything. If both are earning, then both should invest in everything. Both should plan their savings together. Not necessary that it should be always 50/50 if there's understanding between both.
Men shouldn't pay for everything in a relationship. If that's the case and she refuses to give some input too, chances are high she is a gold digger and you're in a toxic relationship. If I would go to the extreme, I could call such girls prostitutes since you pay for their service.
Very true. If a woman says anything along the lines of the three quotes you listed, then it's time to find a better woman. Those women just want you to replace their dad who probably bought them everything growing up. A man doesn't exist to pay for the expenses a woman incurs, and any woman that believes otherwise isn't a very respectable woman.
If a woman has no job and takes care of me and my home then of course im ok paying for everything.
If a woman works, i see her as inferior because a woman who doesn't work would be much better at taking care of me and my home, so i actually would expect her to contribute a significant amount of income to the household expenses as well as pay for all her additional costs.
Relationships are give and take. I just think if I let a man pay for everything that kind of makes me his ho 🤷🏻♀️ But then individual circumstances can impact that. Say one partner just lost their job or something
" I just think if I let a man pay for everything that kind of makes me his ho " Bingo! Now go tell other women the same thing, as 80% seem to argue otherwise and if us men tell em, then we are suddenly untrustworthy and cheap.
Yes. I believe in a man not paying for everything, but maybe i'm old school bc i think a man should pay for the dates during the courting period. I find it odd that men want old school women (cooking dinner, being a housewife, taking care of kids, etc.), but don't want to be old school men.
I don't know how a man expects a housewife without being the old school type that pays for things lol. I don't see that as actually possible, as somebody has to pay for stuff. If a man chases a woman, then yah, paying is fine I guess, though women at least trying to pay is often appreciated. Believe me it's a tit for tat. Men find it odd women claim to want chivalry and equality.
Right they still want girls to be feminine and cook for them and stuff. And the whole equal rights thing. When men hear equal rights why do they automatically jump to equal rights equal fights or splitting the bill on a date. I noticed that shit 😒
Tbh, it is nice for a guy to pay in the beginning, I know from experience. If the relationship gets serious, then both parts should pay. At least that seems reasonable to me. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Why not? It's a relationship of two!! If both can get that understanding and afford the situation I don't see why not. My sister and her husband they are both teacher making the same money and they split everything. Me, sadly I get lay off for the COVID-19 and my wife make big money and she is paying the house and insurance and Im paying utilities bills and other things. We are in 2020 things are different.
so It depends, if I’m dating her or she’s my girlfriend then yes should not pay for everything. But if she’s my wife and we’ve been together for a few years and has no job then I’m fine with paying for her. Especially if I have kids with her. But if we’re married and she has a job then 50/50
0
0 Reply
Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
yikes. That doesn't work for my family at all. But hope you find someone where you can have all you want, it might be hard to get what you described. Also reminds me of a scene in the Joy Luck Club where the couple split everything equal... well if you've seen it you would know.
In the beginning when u just started dating i think its classy for a men to pay for nights out, but as soon as ur like a strong build relationship it should come from both ways
Look, I've been treated well by TONS of men who buy me gifts, make me feel valued and treated even before anything serious relationship stuff even started. So why the heck should I go Dutch with some dude who has a problem paying for my coffee? Duh. It has nothing to do with being 'strong, independent woman.' Yes, I can easily buy all that stuff myself - the point is that he makes me feel VALUED. Period.
Here's the issue: It's likely looks based. Age based. Meaning, at any time, that privilege of men doing that for you can dissapear and so will those white knights. It's a very common thing that women enjoy all those gifts, feelings of value, etc, while young, but don't take advantage and make themselves worth beyond looks. After years of fun with that, a few looks/materialitic relationships that no doubt end horribly, the 35 year old woman decides she should be more serious. Thing is, the guys that are serious are more than often the ones also appropriately fiscally conservative and logical, so not as willing to pay for a date so often and for sure, making as much money as they likely do by now, many aren't willing to go for a 35 year old that fooled around for 15 years and now wants to suddenly "settle down." Nope. These are the guys who instead just go in vacation in the Phillipines and satisfy any need for a woman with cheap hookers.
Moral here? Avoid depending on looks and materialism with relationships. It never ends well. A woman who understands a guy trying to save money while young and sticks with him, will get much better value when he is older and likely on the more wealthy and wise side.
Who dafaq are you? Why are you so special? Why do you deserve special treatment? Why dafaq would anyone want to be part of a one sided realationship? What men don't want to be valued too? Lol 😂
@Paul09 Lol why you so aurprised? If those guys treat me well I won't be pissed hahah. It's just the cold truth that men who can't afford high maintenance women act as if we're not worth it. I'm glad I don't deal with those men though ;)
What does a woman offer by being high maintenance? There are millions of woman out there, meaning, there is always somebody easier to to take care of, better looking, younger, etc. Options exist, and hell, dating in general is optional. What can you do better than another woman that makes you worth the high maintenance? Deepthroat my junk deeper? I can get a toy to do that 24/7 for a one time price. Don't forget that.
@errorgoodnameunfound My dream is to find a woman I can spend all my hard earn cash on, while she stays at hone doing nothing. Said no one ever. It's like she forgets we are all hard working humans. She probably got spoiled by daddy. So stay at home with daddy.
@errorgoodnameunfound first of all, clearly you haven't met any of those high maintenance women if you even ask the question "What does a woman offer by being high maintenance?" lol. Secondly, It's pure biology, men are providers, whereas women are nurturers. Thirdly, women have mostly more options when choosing a companion (i. e. women have sex with who we want to, men with who they can) so being scarce has been proven to be attractive to men. Tbh I'm not making this up honey, this is how gentlemen have treated me so just my two cents on this topic haha.
@Paul09 I completely agree, no one wants a burden who's just requiring to get Gucci bags for staying at home chilling. Nah, you gotta be a power couple who're both hustling. I'm just saying, it's really cute and doesn't take much to spoil your girl - flowers, small gifts and cute gestures. Make her feel like a woman like she is. I'll make you feel like a man you are, too.
Yah, you could argue it's biology. But do you work or want to? Because often, when those men OK with "high maintenance women" date them, they want a near slave in return or sex. Period. You think men don't expect things in return for being the provider? They often do. The power of sex often only lasts till about 30 for women. If something serious isn't found by then, dates become much harder. I've seen women go through this. Party and get spoiled till age 30 then nobody wants to be serious with them after.
How exactly, are you going to make somebody "feel like a man?" Flowers and such have physical, sellable value. Sex and such? Truth is porn, whores, etc. are all cheaper and easier to get, and especially while people can't go out as much now, more men will realize what is easier and more affordable as many lose economically.
@errorgoodnameunfound hmm I never had problems getting dates after 30 or 35. It depends how well you take care of yourself, so please stop stereotyping girls over 35 ☺️
@Broken_doll Yes, but that's the key. You had to do near as much "taking care of yourself" when you were younger? Even more so now as the world economy is starting to tip downwards, how many guys remaining are still going to be willing to date somebody around 40 and putting money towards that vs how much they make? It's not sustainable. Period.
Her's the problem with today's women (well, one of them). Most women will say that men should not have to pay, but MOST still will still judge a man who doesn't pay or who lets her pay when she offers. It is the hypocrisy of modern women.
You live in us, a multiculti country with thousand different cultures. So every woman is different. Asian women tend to except men to provide fir example
@hi_it_is_me123 Yes, I live in the US and have dated of many different ethnicity and cultures and, as I said, most of them are the same in this respect. They expect men to prove they "value" them by taking them out on a first date and paying for them, and regardless of what they SAY, they look down on any man who doesn't pay for the first date.
Wow i am sorry and what do you mean you dated all? That is a lot haha. I dont know i dont think that is not common in germanic country and i thought america is more progressive/modern.
@hi_it_is_me123 There are women in the US who consider themselves progressive but on this particular issue most of them rationalize the traditional, sexist behavior in their minds.
See the response here from @Broken_doll. Her attitude is typical of women in the US. Most women will not actually say it as openly as she did here because they realize how sexist and hypocritical it makes them sound, but almost all women here feel like she does.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
42Opinion
i'd feel uncomfortable letting a guy pay everthing no matter if we are in a relationship, dating or just friends, it would feel like i am using them or if i owe them something, so i usually take turns or share bills
Don’t take turns splitting bills with a man. It’s enough that they get to enjoy sex with u.
@magnifique
women like "@Giselleboss " are the type most men avoid like plague. 😒
@Aaron_Stone Here, here!
@Giselleboss With that statement you obviously think what you have is better than any other woman in this world, let me tell you this (WRONG). Maybe you might use it more than some women do but when it comes down to it, every woman has one and every woman knows what it's for and how to use it.
@lostminds You’re all a bunch of losers lol wanting women to pay on dates. Hahahah. Don’t worry, you don’t attract high quality women like me anyway.
@lostminds Creep
@Giselleboss "Don’t worry, you don’t attract high quality women like me anyway."
LOL, thanks for the laugh. You made my day.
A woman who wants me to pay all her expenses is one I would not touch with a 10 foot pole, I don't want to feel like I am taking care of a child.
This is true... Exactly why I pay all my own bills and expenses... Haven't dated a guy who has more money than me... So I get used to it...
If only the girl is earning then she should pay everything.
If only the man is earning then he should pay everything.
If both are earning, then both should invest in everything.
Both should plan their savings together.
Not necessary that it should be always 50/50 if there's understanding between both.
Men shouldn't pay for everything in a relationship. If that's the case and she refuses to give some input too, chances are high she is a gold digger and you're in a toxic relationship. If I would go to the extreme, I could call such girls prostitutes since you pay for their service.
Very true. If a woman says anything along the lines of the three quotes you listed, then it's time to find a better woman. Those women just want you to replace their dad who probably bought them everything growing up. A man doesn't exist to pay for the expenses a woman incurs, and any woman that believes otherwise isn't a very respectable woman.
If a woman has no job and takes care of me and my home then of course im ok paying for everything.
If a woman works, i see her as inferior because a woman who doesn't work would be much better at taking care of me and my home, so i actually would expect her to contribute a significant amount of income to the household expenses as well as pay for all her additional costs.
Relationships are give and take. I just think if I let a man pay for everything that kind of makes me his ho 🤷🏻♀️
But then individual circumstances can impact that. Say one partner just lost their job or something
" I just think if I let a man pay for everything that kind of makes me his ho " Bingo! Now go tell other women the same thing, as 80% seem to argue otherwise and if us men tell em, then we are suddenly untrustworthy and cheap.
Yes. I believe in a man not paying for everything, but maybe i'm old school bc i think a man should pay for the dates during the courting period. I find it odd that men want old school women (cooking dinner, being a housewife, taking care of kids, etc.), but don't want to be old school men.
I don't know how a man expects a housewife without being the old school type that pays for things lol. I don't see that as actually possible, as somebody has to pay for stuff. If a man chases a woman, then yah, paying is fine I guess, though women at least trying to pay is often appreciated. Believe me it's a tit for tat. Men find it odd women claim to want chivalry and equality.
Right they still want girls to be feminine and cook for them and stuff. And the whole equal rights thing. When men hear equal rights why do they automatically jump to equal rights equal fights or splitting the bill on a date. I noticed that shit 😒
Tl;dr but as for
"Men should NOT have to pay for everything in a relationship!"
This is true.
Tbh, it is nice for a guy to pay in the beginning, I know from experience.
If the relationship gets serious, then both parts should pay.
At least that seems reasonable to me.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Seems very one sided.
@Paul09
How? Tf... lol
Why can't the woman pay all in the beginning?
I’m sorry I didn’t read a single word of it but I absolutely agree men shouldn’t pay for everything.
Just for how you expressed it but not for what you expressed👍👏👏
Why not? It's a relationship of two!! If both can get that understanding and afford the situation I don't see why not. My sister and her husband they are both teacher making the same money and they split everything. Me, sadly I get lay off for the COVID-19 and my wife make big money and she is paying the house and insurance and Im paying utilities bills and other things. We are in 2020 things are different.
so It depends, if I’m dating her or she’s my girlfriend then yes should not pay for everything. But if she’s my wife and we’ve been together for a few years and has no job then I’m fine with paying for her. Especially if I have kids with her. But if we’re married and she has a job then 50/50
yikes. That doesn't work for my family at all. But hope you find someone where you can have all you want, it might be hard to get what you described. Also reminds me of a scene in the Joy Luck Club where the couple split everything equal... well if you've seen it you would know.
In the beginning when u just started dating i think its classy for a men to pay for nights out, but as soon as ur like a strong build relationship it should come from both ways
What exactly would make it classy? Also you live in Netherlands, which is famous accros the world for splitting the bill also known as 'going dutch'.
Were also famous for weed but does everyone do weed no😂😂😂
I just think if a guy has manners he will pay for the first date. Just my opinion everyone can think what they want
I just replied to the question u said men do not have to pay everything and i agree to that🤷♀️
If a woman isn't willing to make 5 babies with me which is my minimum for a family I'm not interested in paying the date.
Lol fair enough
OK wait, so in order à guy to have manners, he has to pay? So what does that make you have no manners because you arnt paying? Lol
Look, I've been treated well by TONS of men who buy me gifts, make me feel valued and treated even before anything serious relationship stuff even started. So why the heck should I go Dutch with some dude who has a problem paying for my coffee? Duh.
It has nothing to do with being 'strong, independent woman.' Yes, I can easily buy all that stuff myself - the point is that he makes me feel VALUED. Period.
Here's the issue: It's likely looks based. Age based. Meaning, at any time, that privilege of men doing that for you can dissapear and so will those white knights. It's a very common thing that women enjoy all those gifts, feelings of value, etc, while young, but don't take advantage and make themselves worth beyond looks. After years of fun with that, a few looks/materialitic relationships that no doubt end horribly, the 35 year old woman decides she should be more serious. Thing is, the guys that are serious are more than often the ones also appropriately fiscally conservative and logical, so not as willing to pay for a date so often and for sure, making as much money as they likely do by now, many aren't willing to go for a 35 year old that fooled around for 15 years and now wants to suddenly "settle down." Nope. These are the guys who instead just go in vacation in the Phillipines and satisfy any need for a woman with cheap hookers.
Moral here? Avoid depending on looks and materialism with relationships. It never ends well. A woman who understands a guy trying to save money while young and sticks with him, will get much better value when he is older and likely on the more wealthy and wise side.
Who dafaq are you? Why are you so special? Why do you deserve special treatment? Why dafaq would anyone want to be part of a one sided realationship? What men don't want to be valued too? Lol 😂
@Paul09 I really wish the women here could answer those questions too bro. They think the peach makes em special forever.
@Paul09 Lol why you so aurprised? If those guys treat me well I won't be pissed hahah. It's just the cold truth that men who can't afford high maintenance women act as if we're not worth it. I'm glad I don't deal with those men though ;)
What does a woman offer by being high maintenance? There are millions of woman out there, meaning, there is always somebody easier to to take care of, better looking, younger, etc. Options exist, and hell, dating in general is optional. What can you do better than another woman that makes you worth the high maintenance? Deepthroat my junk deeper? I can get a toy to do that 24/7 for a one time price. Don't forget that.
@errorgoodnameunfound My dream is to find a woman I can spend all my hard earn cash on, while she stays at hone doing nothing. Said no one ever. It's like she forgets we are all hard working humans. She probably got spoiled by daddy. So stay at home with daddy.
@errorgoodnameunfound first of all, clearly you haven't met any of those high maintenance women if you even ask the question "What does a woman offer by being high maintenance?" lol. Secondly, It's pure biology, men are providers, whereas women are nurturers. Thirdly, women have mostly more options when choosing a companion (i. e. women have sex with who we want to, men with who they can) so being scarce has been proven to be attractive to men. Tbh I'm not making this up honey, this is how gentlemen have treated me so just my two cents on this topic haha.
@Paul09 I completely agree, no one wants a burden who's just requiring to get Gucci bags for staying at home chilling. Nah, you gotta be a power couple who're both hustling. I'm just saying, it's really cute and doesn't take much to spoil your girl - flowers, small gifts and cute gestures. Make her feel like a woman like she is. I'll make you feel like a man you are, too.
I understand , but works the other way around too.
Yah, you could argue it's biology. But do you work or want to? Because often, when those men OK with "high maintenance women" date them, they want a near slave in return or sex. Period. You think men don't expect things in return for being the provider? They often do. The power of sex often only lasts till about 30 for women. If something serious isn't found by then, dates become much harder. I've seen women go through this. Party and get spoiled till age 30 then nobody wants to be serious with them after.
How exactly, are you going to make somebody "feel like a man?" Flowers and such have physical, sellable value. Sex and such? Truth is porn, whores, etc. are all cheaper and easier to get, and especially while people can't go out as much now, more men will realize what is easier and more affordable as many lose economically.
@errorgoodnameunfound hmm I never had problems getting dates after 30 or 35. It depends how well you take care of yourself, so please stop stereotyping girls over 35 ☺️
@Broken_doll Yes, but that's the key. You had to do near as much "taking care of yourself" when you were younger? Even more so now as the world economy is starting to tip downwards, how many guys remaining are still going to be willing to date somebody around 40 and putting money towards that vs how much they make? It's not sustainable. Period.
Her's the problem with today's women (well, one of them). Most women will say that men should not have to pay, but MOST still will still judge a man who doesn't pay or who lets her pay when she offers. It is the hypocrisy of modern women.
You live in us, a multiculti country with thousand different cultures. So every woman is different. Asian women tend to except men to provide fir example
@hi_it_is_me123 Yes, I live in the US and have dated of many different ethnicity and cultures and, as I said, most of them are the same in this respect. They expect men to prove they "value" them by taking them out on a first date and paying for them, and regardless of what they SAY, they look down on any man who doesn't pay for the first date.
Wow i am sorry and what do you mean you dated all? That is a lot haha. I dont know i dont think that is not common in germanic country and i thought america is more progressive/modern.
@hi_it_is_me123 There are women in the US who consider themselves progressive but on this particular issue most of them rationalize the traditional, sexist behavior in their minds.
That is sad
@hi_it_is_me123 I agree
See the response here from @Broken_doll. Her attitude is typical of women in the US. Most women will not actually say it as openly as she did here because they realize how sexist and hypocritical it makes them sound, but almost all women here feel like she does.
@hi_it_is_me123
That’s common sense. Both contribute to the relationship
Well a guy doesn't have to pay for anything he does not want to.
A man that can say no won't have to.