for me once a person cheats that loyalty and trust is gone, would still love them of course but noway in the same way I once did, I would never look at them the sameway again. I would think if they got away with it once they would do it again, which may or may not be true. though, I think you truly never know what you will do unless in the situation.
BTDT. About 15% of these recover, even improve. The rest implode. A broken marriage is like a shattered tea-cup - you can glue it back together to be fully serviceable, but you can still see the cracks.
Both parties must want to reconcile. And cheater must vow to cease all communication, be completely transparent, and apologize unconditionally. It takes a long time to recover.
It just depends. I've been in that situation and looked like I was the bad guy. She had intent but came clean about it, so we worked things out, but after some time ( 3 months), I called it quits because it wasn't feeling right. I did forgive her, though.
When a person cheats it isn't the cheating what matters the most, they have stated their standards as a person.
Standards like they are dishonest and have no intention to pass on short term pleasures, at the expense of hurting someone who devoted everything for them.
I disagree with you. You just said " If you really do love them, forgive them", that's bullshit. I say "If you really love someone, you would never even thinking about cheating on you rpartner". Of course you can cheat on your partner even if you love him/her, this is because he/she is insecure or thinks he/she doesn't deserve him/her.
I would rather that my girlfriend is coming to me a 1000 times for reassurance, than that she is going to cheat on me even once.
Monogamy is hard for a lot of people, I have seen society start to change its perspective on this in recent years, but it's still a difficult subject for most. You shared some really insightful suggestions, I particularly liked number 3.
Wow that's a lot of words to says your a piece of shit. You cheated bitch. You fucking suck. And you deserve only the empathy someone who fucking lover you could muster. You who wrote this is a monster. Do not believe this drivile.
sorry i know you put a lot on effort on this... but no... i would never forget a cheater... i cause by the cheating act they are showing you an ultinate disrepect for what you value. for the relation... so as it was say " excused make the fault worst". my answer is no... i read what you wrote but for me are excuses. cheater need to held acoubtable. buy you dont need to suffer more that. say... ok anf f... your self to the cheater.
Nah im gangsta. I’m not on that weak stuff. If he cheats it’s over, guaranteed. Actions have consequences. Relationships are social contracts, and if they break that contract then the relationship is over.
It's a social construct, to send/allow one of the two to be with someone else. If they then genuinely opted for you - do you really care? The trouble only comes from doubting they chose you, perhaps expecting they want to be with someone else.
I am glad that you are able to see it this way. I cannot. Loyalty and fidelity are essential for me. A cheater has broken those and while I can forgive, I will NEVER again be with someone who cheated.
Oh I haven't always! I have been wronged and really couldn't see my way through patching things up with some guys I was with. One was a deeper connection with someone who I would say I was in a relationship with, a few others were guys I was dating and supposed to be exclusive with, but I don't think we considered ourselves made to be with each other - but it still hurts.
With throw-away relationships, I think it's hurtful, but a much easier decision to end things. But for some, the situation isn't so simple. It could be a married couple with children and their lives tied up together with finances and responsibilities. It could just be two people who have invested much time and emotions into each other. It also depends on the cheating. Some people have an easier time to end things if the cheater was actually full-blown in a relationship with someone for a significant amount of time trying to cover their tracks constantly. Sometimes a person can see past a one-off that seemed to mean nothing but was nonetheless a hurtful mistake.
So it all depends. I already knew a lot of people here would have zero-tolerance, and that's fine. In a way, I don't think a lot of those people really experienced soulful, true love to understand that between two people there are going to be some horrible downs in a relationship or marriage that leave the person questioning: Is it something I can get past? Or: Is my love for them and theirs for me greater than the mistake?
As one girl here mentioned, she was in a situation where she wanted to know one side of the situation to find some encouragement if she chose to stay, but the majority of information tells people to leave. That's not surprising. Cheating is awful. But I think it's a knee-jerk reaction for some couples who I think can move forward based on what they feel for each other, and if the cheating was based on something that was a symptom of some underlying problems that can be worked out.
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for me once a person cheats that loyalty and trust is gone, would still love them of course but noway in the same way I once did, I would never look at them the sameway again. I would think if they got away with it once they would do it again, which may or may not be true.
though, I think you truly never know what you will do unless in the situation.
You and the people who believe this kind of nonsense:
GOLD!
BTDT.
About 15% of these recover, even improve. The rest implode.
A broken marriage is like a shattered tea-cup - you can glue it back together to be fully serviceable, but you can still see the cracks.
Both parties must want to reconcile. And cheater must vow to cease all communication, be completely transparent, and apologize unconditionally. It takes a long time to recover.
It just depends. I've been in that situation and looked like I was the bad guy. She had intent but came clean about it, so we worked things out, but after some time ( 3 months), I called it quits because it wasn't feeling right. I did forgive her, though.
Sorry, it doesn't work like that.
When a person cheats it isn't the cheating what matters the most, they have stated their standards as a person.
Standards like they are dishonest and have no intention to pass on short term pleasures, at the expense of hurting someone who devoted everything for them.
They are low quality people. Very egoistical.
I disagree with you. You just said " If you really do love them, forgive them", that's bullshit. I say "If you really love someone, you would never even thinking about cheating on you rpartner". Of course you can cheat on your partner even if you love him/her, this is because he/she is insecure or thinks he/she doesn't deserve him/her.
I would rather that my girlfriend is coming to me a 1000 times for reassurance, than that she is going to cheat on me even once.
Lovely post.
Monogamy is hard for a lot of people, I have seen society start to change its perspective on this in recent years, but it's still a difficult subject for most. You shared some really insightful suggestions, I particularly liked number 3.
That humans are naturally polygamous, I shall digress.
Wow that's a lot of words to says your a piece of shit. You cheated bitch. You fucking suck. And you deserve only the empathy someone who fucking lover you could muster. You who wrote this is a monster. Do not believe this drivile.
Holy shit my guy, you went off.
Bro I love black metal and it's no where in the ball bark of this evil. Fuck this whore (all genders).
No, I've never cheated on anyone. Sorry to disappoint you.
You went off for no reason my guy lol
@Thatasianlove16 Damn 😂
sorry i know you put a lot on effort on this... but no... i would never forget a cheater... i cause by the cheating act they are showing you an ultinate disrepect for what you value. for the relation... so as it was say " excused make the fault worst". my answer is no... i read what you wrote but for me are excuses. cheater need to held acoubtable. buy you dont need to suffer more that. say... ok anf f... your self to the cheater.
Nah im gangsta. I’m not on that weak stuff. If he cheats it’s over, guaranteed. Actions have consequences. Relationships are social contracts, and if they break that contract then the relationship is over.
It's a social construct, to send/allow one of the two to be with someone else.
If they then genuinely opted for you - do you really care?
The trouble only comes from doubting they chose you, perhaps expecting they want to be with someone else.
I am glad that you are able to see it this way. I cannot. Loyalty and fidelity are essential for me. A cheater has broken those and while I can forgive, I will NEVER again be with someone who cheated.
Oh I haven't always! I have been wronged and really couldn't see my way through patching things up with some guys I was with. One was a deeper connection with someone who I would say I was in a relationship with, a few others were guys I was dating and supposed to be exclusive with, but I don't think we considered ourselves made to be with each other - but it still hurts.
With throw-away relationships, I think it's hurtful, but a much easier decision to end things. But for some, the situation isn't so simple. It could be a married couple with children and their lives tied up together with finances and responsibilities. It could just be two people who have invested much time and emotions into each other. It also depends on the cheating. Some people have an easier time to end things if the cheater was actually full-blown in a relationship with someone for a significant amount of time trying to cover their tracks constantly. Sometimes a person can see past a one-off that seemed to mean nothing but was nonetheless a hurtful mistake.
So it all depends. I already knew a lot of people here would have zero-tolerance, and that's fine. In a way, I don't think a lot of those people really experienced soulful, true love to understand that between two people there are going to be some horrible downs in a relationship or marriage that leave the person questioning: Is it something I can get past? Or: Is my love for them and theirs for me greater than the mistake?
As one girl here mentioned, she was in a situation where she wanted to know one side of the situation to find some encouragement if she chose to stay, but the majority of information tells people to leave. That's not surprising. Cheating is awful. But I think it's a knee-jerk reaction for some couples who I think can move forward based on what they feel for each other, and if the cheating was based on something that was a symptom of some underlying problems that can be worked out.
A person who cheats and is a parent is even worse because he or she is taking the risk of hurting gi/her children
The underlying problem is that they are horrible people. Liars.
It's not an accident, and it's not a one time event. People don't trust and avoid this people in other areas.
I would never tolerate that. You cheat me you cut ties with me completely. And I’ll move on gracefully. 🤨 I respect myself and stick to my boundaries
It hurts and it is a trust that it is broken. Once a cheater always a cheater.
No way I'd ever forgive cheating or get back with a girlfriend who cheated.
I value my happiness, I deserve better than that.
No thanks. I stick to crushing my enemies and stick to the standards I fit myself in.
Nope. If I find out that you let another dick inside of you, any affection I had is gone. No fighting. We are just finished.
Never forgive, once a tiger shows its stripes that's it. I'll still sleep with her but always with a condom and I'm not going to be exclusive.
cheating is not a mistake-it is a cautious choice. to accept them back is to sell yourself cheap.
conscious.
I think I can forgive and love them still but I would not be in a relationship with them any more as a matter of principle