Some reasons why victims have a hard time leaving their abuser, or reasons why some people seek abusive partners... (Page 3)

[OddBeMe]

And the “love bomb” effect. Usually abusers have highs and lows. We stay away from our cat during her low mood….

[annabananna]

Great mytake and some of these comments are pretty scary.

[anylolone]

Reminds me a lot of the work of erin pizey.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/Jzb4T0RBQ1Y

[concerned4u]

I don't agree, this is basically attempting to imply that women 'bring on' abuse. Every man has a choice over his actions. I've met many women in shelter and they were kind, loving mothers. Only 1 out of 50 I saw was actually seeming to be the abuser herself. (we would spot these people and call them out).

[anylolone]

@concerned4u I see you didn't watched the video.
"every man has a choice" and so does every woman.

A good way to bring on abuse is by being abusive. That's true for both men and women.
Another good way to bring on abuse is by selecting for source of proxy violence.

And a good way to end up facing abuse is by having a lot of partners and not curating your partners enough.

All true irrespective of sex and gender or sexual orientation.

[concerned4u]

I think this could be a projection of your own household or something you've experienced/seen? Definitely don't want to watch this in full, it's insane. I'm sorry. I personally know better. I've been abused a number of times, met MANY in shelter, ENTIRELY disagree, these women as well as myself were not and are not abusive. Research something called ''narcissistic personality disorder'', there are actually people who intentionally find kind, loving, passive husbands or wives and harm them. I'm not saying what you said doesn't happen, I'm simply saying it's the exception. What you are saying SCARILY sounds like VICTIM BLAMING. Like you are 'imagining' there is this scene where the woman 'started it', lol, to explain this in your head. I'm sad to inform you, this is not common reality. Go work at a shelter anywhere in the US, then come back to me, and tell me if this is true or not.

[anylolone]

@concerned4u You don't know better, at all.

"A projection of my own household" no, it's more than 50 years of research. Some details you cited.

A big part of her work you rely on is the discovery of the patterns in which violence as conflict resolution is normalized.

[Knw951]

I love this post! I wish more social pressure supported abusive men seeking assistance for the deep rooted insecurity and pain that propagates the behavior as well..

[ragooo8]

I've learned that whenever a woman tells you her ex was abusive it's a redflag.

[Joshua0213]

True it can be but if it seems they're over it I dont think it is

[ragooo8]

@Joshua0213 more the issue of whether or not they are telling the truth

[VinnyMac]

Three of my past exes had prior to me abusive partners and two had been sexually assaulted by a family member and the other from a family friend. It's a little messed up that people would lie about something such as this, but perhaps there is an underlying reason for that as well. I find the most difficult thing about these relationships is many times the woman is easily triggered by many things and you may not even know why. Sometimes she may not like giving blowjobs or having you go down on her.

One of my exes didn't like to kiss and when we did, which was rare, it had to be always a short kiss like a peck on the lips and she often said that she wasn't ready to have sex. When she finally did tell me about all the things she had been through it was absolutely heartbreaking and I litterly wanted to go Dexter on the guy that had done that to her. We split up after a while into our relationship because her past was still haunting her and every man that she was with would trigger her when they wanted to be close to her physically and sexually.
We broke up 3 times, each time because she needed to deal with and heal from her past. I stayed with her for all that time over the course of like 2 years. I didn't want to be that guy who walked away because things were a little hard. After time though I began to see that any chemistry I thought we had was hardly there. Eventually on are last break she after a few weeks ended things. It strange how all of the things we go through lead us to where we find ourselves at now in the present. Had not been for that relationship it would not have led me where I am now. I've been with my Fiancèe 8 years and we have a 4 year old son.

[globetrotter22]

@ragooo8 I believe we all make bad decisions. But I am really sick of women who feel attracted to abusive men, dive head first into the dark pit and then cry victim when they willingly went along with that crap. There are usually signs he is going to be trouble.

[ragooo8]

@globetrotter22 same here. They love he drama and attention

[globetrotter22]

@ragooo8 and too many can’t take responsibility for their shitty decisions. Not all women of course but modern feminism is telling impressionable women they are entitled to a care free, risk free and entitled life just for existing.

When men get ghosted, cheated on, mooched off of or (unannounced) friéndzoned we are told “buyer beware” and the onus is on us for getting screwed over. We might get momentary sympathy but still we are held to a higher standard and always supposed to be on our guard.

[ragooo8]

@globetrotter22 I agree completely

[Fuentes]

I would rather value a normal life without anyone having control then stay in anything abusive

[ladybug12670]

Too many consenual BDSM relationships get described as abuse

[Heartache0405]

Funny how when this topic surfaces its always about women. When men also experience it too.

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

Did I ever say men can’t experience this? I never once made this gender specific.

[Heartache0405]

All of the comments I've come across only mention women dealing with this. As if they're the only ones experiencing it.

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

Yes, because they are expressing their experiences. They did not say that they are the only ones dealing with this. I suggest you stop assuming and reading way too much into it. Men obviously experience it to.

[Heartache0405]

Apparently not, but whatever.

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

Have a great day!

[Heartache0405]

Have a great day? In March? 😂 I'll have a great day when women's history month doesn't exist

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

Then don’t celebrate it. Simple as that. I don’t 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Heartache0405]

I don't. I'm sick of hearing about it on the radio when they don't deserve it

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

Okay, then don’t listen to the radio. No gender “deserves” a month dedicated to them.

[Heartache0405]

I shouldn't have to not do something just because a ridiculous thing is on it that shouldn't exist.

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

Well you can’t really change society and the whole months or days of celebrations. So, might as well do something to ignore it if you’re so opposed to it. Problem solve.

[Heartache0405]

Can't change society unless you're a woman

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

Sorry you feel that way. Anyway, good talk.

[DARKCLOUD1945X]

An abuser is an abuser I don't care if you are male, female strait gay, trans it happens in all walks of life it was never said if it was male or female it was a general statement. Abuse happens to female, male young or old and anywhere in between. It can happen to anyone

[AvaOneLasTime]

Take your issues to your therapist. Do we look like we are celebrating something? In my country, its the month of only certain old women, with certain names.
They don't celebrate it either.
If you want to have a rant. complain and talk about men's issues, you are free to write a MyTake of your own, rather than nagging here.

[oli14]

Maybe it's because men never show it they hide it because they r afraid to be called weak and women say it out loud even though they feel ashamed

[Hello4242]

Have you experienced it?

[ManHater]

Women love abuse simple as that. They want bad boys and yes bad boys will beat them. Women love being abused they don't want nice guys.

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

False.

[oli14]

Is it that simple really is it that simple to categorize women for ya or a better question r u that simple to think this way

[sensible27]

We accept the love we think we deserve.. (?)

[KatherineJ]

Well written “My Take” on a difficult topic.

[KatanaSlice]

Thank you for helping to spread awareness.

[loveslongnails]

All very true. It's been that way for a long time.

[collie22]

that was quite interesting ty

[sirderpsalot123]

Very informative. Glad you posted it.

[TrillXHippy]

That was a wonderful mytake 😁

[Grubhub]

Financial reasons 😆

[innerman]

Thank you