Should Women Be Held To A Higher Standard?

[Anonymous]

This is something I've always wondered and it became more prominent when I heard some guys at a bar talking about this. Should women be held to higher standard than men?

One of the guys (X) was telling the other guy (Y) that he (X) thinks he has the right to go out to bars and clubs and sleep with as many woman he wants, but he wants his future wife to be an "angel." Meaning he (X) won't marry a woman who's slept with a lot of guys.

I wanted to say a couple of things to this guy.
1. It’s none of your business who anyone else sleeps with.
2. Why do you think you have the right to be a player, but women can't be sexually active?
3. If women are out there sleeping with guys like you then there aren’t going to be any "pure" woman left for you to marry. You do realize that, right?

Men and women should be held to the same standards. If you're going to look down on women who sleep around then you have to look down on everyone (that includes men) who sleeps around.

If you're okay with dudes sleeping around then you should be okay with women sleeping around. Because in realty the only things that separate us are our sexual organs. Everything else is the same.

Am I the only who feels this way?

[Anonymous]

Why women are held to a different standard:

1. It’s none of your business who anyone else sleeps with.

It is very much his business who his future mate sleeps and slept with. That is information most guys are going to want to know and will ask.

2. Why do you think you have the right to be a player, but women can't be sexually active?

It's not a matter of it being a right or not. He mentioned his preference. And his preference was not to marry a girl who slept around.

3. If women are out there sleeping with guys like you then there aren’t going to be any "pure" woman left for you to marry. You do realize that, right?

Not all women sleep around. It's usually a select few women who sleep around, guys sleep with them, and don't marry them. They marry the other women who don't sleep around.

"Men and women should be held to the same standards. If you're going to look down on women who sleep around then you have to look down on everyone (that includes men) who sleeps around."

Just an opinion and one that lacks merit. Men and women are not the same. That's a fact.

"If you're okay with dudes sleeping around then you should be okay with women sleeping around."

Again men and women are not the same. You have an opinion that a lot of people do not share. Such is life.

"Because in realty the only things that separate us are our sexual organs. Everything else is the same."

What you just mentioned is an oversimplification. Men and women are very different BECAUSE they have different hormones and organs. They have very different brain chemistry and psychological patterns because of evolution. If you were actually in reality you'd realize that. Why do you think it's hard for women to sleep around for the most part? Because hormones in their brains are like uh... I shouldn't just be fucking guys and letting them leave... what if I get pregnant? That's why they (are supposed) to feel a connection during and after sex due to neurotransmitters firing off in their heads.

[been_waiting]

I will never date one of those guys. And its hilarious to me because I'm a virgin and I'm the type that they want, but I'd never date a guy who is hypocritical about casual sex or one who's obsessed with finding a virgin girl, like the downanddepressed guy.

[been_waiting]

Haaaaaa I upset one Virgin Hunter.

[ThisDudeHere]

X never implied that women shouldn't be allowed to sleep around. It's their free choice to do so and nobody has the right to tell them otherwise if they want to do it. X only said that he'd prefer his future wife to be pure. That's it.

And no that is not hypocritical - it's just a preference. Men prefer women with minimal sexual history when settling down and women have it the other way around.

There are many reasons why men and women can't be held to the same standards here. For one - women are the gatekeepers of sex, which means that the struggle to get a mate is leagues above that of females. Most men have nothing against a female sleeping around - since they themselves might get to do it with her, but men do have problems with future mates having a promiscuous past.

The reason for that is simple - again, women are the gatekeepers, men will pursue them. Even women in relationships are actively pursued by other men. Also - women are harder to sexually please - a man is pretty much 99% guaranteed to climax during sex. Some study shove that about 75% of all women can't reach a climax during sex. 7 out of 10 women. So it stands to reason that if a women had many partners before, and since she chose them, she chose mostly good partners - and a husband has a reason to be insecure about her cheating due to lack of sexual stimulus since, chances are, he can't sexually compete with a stud that she had before. Also, there's always the massive risk of a man raising a child that is not even his own - that is any future father's greatest nightmare.

So, to conclude, women CAN sleep around if they want but men are entitled to their preference for more pure women as potential spouses for good non-hypocritical reasons - all of which are due to nature making humans this gender-dimorphic.

[been_waiting]

No, it is hypocritical to sleep around and then demand a virgin wife.

[ThisDudeHere]

I assume you didn't read my text wall where I state how it's actually not...

[Yc2K15]

It is perfectly normal and possible for a man or a woman to have sex with as many people as they want. It is also normal for a man OR a woman to not want their partner to have a history of sleeping around. Sometimes its trust issues or lack of confidence.
I Personally agree with (x) because I have slept with a lot of women to find the one I love. Its hard for both men and women to find love. Each person has a different way to go about it, some girls play men for money and sleep around on a very regular occasion for fun. Just like some men use women for sex until they find their so called "Angel" in a bar at 2am.
Also you have to remember that a lot of men are turned off by a women who has slept around a lot because of their downstairs being annihilated. It sounds stupid and horrible but unfortunately it is the truth.. Some men are turned on by a crazily sexually active women though so everyone on earth really has a place and a partner. No matter how silly their views seem.

You wouldn't be the only one who thinks this way don't worry. I understand what you mean totally.

[lumos]

"because of their downstairs being annihilated"
Which is a load of fucking bullshit. Do penises become more limp after having sex with many different girls? No. Same bullshit logic.

[Yc2K15]

Haha @lumos, like you said. No the penis does not become limp. Limp would be something that happens when the penis sees an annihilated downstairs. You can't deny the fact that you can become loose lol

[lumos]

No. Educate yourself.
www.psychologytoday.com/.../the-rare-truth-about-tight-and-loose-women
It might become a bit loose through childbirth (which is understandable because you're pushing a human being out of your body) but because the vagina is so elastic, it'll become tight again in no time. Multiple births is really one of the extremely few things that can exhaust a vagina. A dick is extremely small compared to an actual baby. Expecting a vagina to become loose by a dick is like spitting in the ocean and expecting a flood. Your dick is not that big, don't flatter yourself lmao. :P

[Yc2K15]

You are an idiot. Keep telling yourself you don't have a loos vaj. I gucked a girl when I was 15 who was tighter than a fish bum. She started smashing herself on the regular with big dildos. Much bigger than my dick.
Within a year she went from tight and tidy to having half her shit hanging out and loose as. Goose. Just shut up. Do you think I don't know the fucking vajina tightens up. God damn it some girls are are in denial. I can read all the articles but doesn't mean shit. I Am still having regular sex with some of my teenage girl friends. My dick doesn't change size LIKE YOU SAID fool. But one girl in particular I could only get 3 fingers in. Now I can easily get a fist if I want. So explain why she is soo loose little mis smarty pants. And tell me with fu long logic not a link you googled. Moron.

[Yc2K15]

Also I've been through child birth with a girl and shit down there changes forever !!! Ask any guy. Stop asking Google you poor fool

[Yc2K15]

P. s @lumos if you read why I said and didn't try do a typical pissed off female act, by taking one thing I said and blowing it out of the water. You quoted me saying "because of their downstairs being annihilated" yet you are stupid enough to not read the rest of my sentence. Which is followed by "I know that sounds stupid and horrible, but unfortunately it's true". read my fucking words you silly girl, before you go attacking people and calling them names.

[lumos]

"but unfortunately it's true"
read your own words, twat.

[Yc2K15]

Omg you are seriously so dumb.
I said unfortunately it's true. YES you silly bitch. It's true that a lot of men think like that. God damn your dumb

[Yc2K15]

And if I'm a twat @lumos then stop trying to educate me on myself. You don't even know me

[OpenClose]

I think, if possible, women should be held to the same standard as men. This would likely mean a slightly lower standard on looks (much lower for some), but a higher standard on personality than women normally get. It also means either "chivalry" will die, or women will start taking on those roles as well.

(I think people give too much of a shit about all that anyway. If a girl ever told me I should do something in particular because I'm the "man", she clearly wants her 50's roles back. I don't dish out 50's roles, so I'm out of there. She can go find some other guy to be her knight while she makes him sandwiches. I find the idea insulting to women and hypocritical.

I should also note that I've never dated a girl for which this was a problem.)

Personally, i feel uncomfortable if I like a girl who has had many sex partners. I'm struggling to explain exactly why. Normally I keep it to myself, because at the same time, I think guys should realize (and many already do) that when straight girls are free to have more sex, straight guys ultimately have more sex.

And if there's anything that needs to be destroyed, it's the dynamic in which men are sexually-frustrated beggars, fighting to earn the time of day from holier-than-thou women with no libidos. This turns sexually active women into "sluts" and it puts men on the underside of forming relationships, with the whole dating game being about the man "catching up" to a woman's grace. Yuck.

But that's our narrative we run on.

[missjayne]

When I was younger my dad told me that women had all that power. I didn't understand what he meant until recently. We do have all the power. History has shown what men will do for a woman, they will kill for a woman. Just one woman. Like that commercial " all hail the V" lol. What I think is that women should be holding themselves to a higher standard. We can literally make a man put a ring on it but we give it up on the first few dates or we act trashy for sex and then we call it sexual freedom or casual sex. There is nothing casual about sex. When we give a guy what they want on the first go we have nothing left to bargain with and they see us as trashy, slutty, and a free ride and not worth taking home to the parents. Don't count on any ring with this kind of behavior if that's your goal. There is no challenge left for the guy. Also, if we stopped acting so trashy and actually started acting a bit more lady like then maybe, just maybe, men would start acting like gentlemen again. After all, it is a domino effect, and when a gut can get a free ride from just abou any woman there is no reason for him to act like a gentleman. Like I said we have the power, maybe it's time we started using it wisely.

[MaskedSanity]

If you bring nothing else to a relationship but your vagina and use sex as a bargaining chip, then sure, that logic makes perfect sense.

I feel sorry for such hollow women, though.

[phanindra554]

What controlling ! em by sex
Is it
If you married someone and one night was completed is that mean you both became bor
Huh!
What a crazy words I have ever heard

[Anonymous]

Men and women are often attracted to completely opposite traits. If it is only okay to go after a partner with the traits you have, there would me a lot of unhappy men and women. There is nothing wrong with a man or woman wanting a partner that has a trait that they themselves don't have. They may even have a trait their partner wants, but lacks themselves.

While I don't support guys slut shaming women, he is well within his rights to only have a relationship with the kind of woman he wants to be in a relationship with. Both genders are full of these types of standards. It has always been that way. Is it a double standard? Maybe it is, but it doesn't mean that he is wrong for wanting it. Just like women aren't obligated to have sex with a man, men aren't obligated to give a woman a relationship.

Having different genitals, means that men and women inherently have different problems, and different desires in a mate. Men throughout the past couldn't know if any child the woman had was his or not, so in a long term relationship men will almost always prefer a woman that has never slept around. No amount of complaining is ever going to change that.

[aloha23456]

This is a great topic!

I am going to have to disagree! Woman and men wired totally different. We shouldn't compare and compete with each other.

It is in human nature for men to want to spread their seed or sleep around. Woman are much more monogamous by nature. We biologically get more attached after sex for many reasons. Woman have much more consequences for one pregnancy..

Woman no longer have any self control we are not acting like ladies we are turning into men. Don't get me wrong though there is nothing wrong with enjoying sex and listening to your body. Maybe there isn't a right or wrong answer here. Bottom line it is not respectable for woman to be behaving like men. As a woman it is just important to find a balance and respect our bodies.

[Azara]

I thought this was going to be about whether women should be expected to take themselves more seriously and act more responsibly and be expected to act more responsibly instead of expecting to be taken care of.

This question is endlessly recycled and guys who talk that way believe very strongly that YES women should be and this particular culture is right there long side with them Bc that's where they got the idea from. In cultures where promiscuity is the norm you don't have guys talking out of their ass about sex expectations. Unfortunately in this culture I e any culture that has access to gsg, there are a lot of ass talkers..

[TripleAce]

Well not really

Since the dawn of man kind women and men have never been held to the same standards. It's no different today.

Women want to be treated like ladies, basically have us be gentleman. Men are born with different hormones. I'm sure you agree men are the horny dogs right and women are not, well it's true to some extent, it's goes with the territory. Men are the provider of sperm. We populate our genes by nature. Women are the takers. They must allow entry to their bodies.

By default allowing something to enter is much more sacred then to put something in

[Laetitian]

'By default [...]'
And this is where your red-pillery's dogmatic fault lies.

The conscious decision is the exact same for both sexes. The fact that you do not consider that choice before you make it, while some women you know do, does not make 'putting something in' any less of an action men have to take responsibility for.

[TripleAce]

@Laetitian

Its really not about making a conscious decisions but rather more about the significance of the act. The feeling a women gets when something enters her body and touches her insides is very very different than when a man puts a part of him inside her and touches her insides.

The sensation, attachment and feelings are very different. Its why a women can become very attached emotionally and why sex generally means more for her than it does for men. So again by default if sex means more for a women than it does for Men, on Average, then its safe to say that there's also more meaning attached to a untouched women vs a man.

[lumos]

what a load of bullshit.

[DocT1977]

I think that standards are important. I think that if you are either a girl, or a guy, The standards should be the same. I really believe that the key to finding a successful spouse if you are looking for a relationship to build, is to reflect what you want. So in other terms, If you don't like loose, promiscuous women, then don't be loose and promiscuous and sleep with numerous women. You have to be able to reflect what you want. If you want a woman that has morals and does not sleep with everything she sees, Then you have to reflect that. I guess the point is don't be a hypocrite.

[Jager66]

held to a higher standard no? what is a higher standar? different but equal standards? maybe...

The reality is, regardless of how comfortable or uncomfortable someone is with ti, that sex with more then 1 man and every man after the first GREATLY lowers a womans chances of being in a stable marriage and that is a bad thing because it lowers her life time happines and has a strong detrimental effect on her children and by extension society.

I am 100% pro sex or what ever people choose to do with their life and all that, I don't judge people for simply choices like this but ignoring the science of VERY foolhardy regardless of how non PC it might be.

[Jager66]

sorry for all the typos...

[lumos]

"that sex with more then 1 man and every man after the first GREATLY lowers a womans chances of being in a stable marriage and that is a bad thing because it lowers her life time happines and has a strong detrimental effect on her children and by extension society."
source please
statistics please
otherwise stop saying BS

[Jager66]

cdn.freedomainradio.com/...iage_Partners_Study.pdf
www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nvsr/nvsr48/nvs48_16.pdf
www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nvsr/nvsr64/nvsr64_01.pdf
www.census.gov/hhes/families/data/families.html
www.census.gov/hhes/families/data/children.html
https://www.ucrdatatool.gov/index.cfm
www.statcan.gc.ca/.../desc1-eng.htm
www.stats.gov.nl.ca/.../Annual_Pop_Prov.PDF
https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/nvsr.htm

[Jager66]

www.cdc.gov/nchs/nvss/marriage_divorce_tables.htm
https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nsfg/nsfg_cycle5.htm
www.acf.hhs.gov/.../...ngress_full_pdf_jan2010.pdf
books.google.co.uk/books
www.theatlantic.com/.../

[Jager66]

https://youtu.be/um3EmS9DKsI?t=9m7s


A video incase you don't feel like reading

[slatyb]

You are 100% correct. Since the number of heterosexual men and women are approximately equal, mathematics dictates that the average number of lifetime sexual partners for men must be equal to the average number of lifetime sexual partners for women. The men who think they can sleep around and still marry a virgin not only lack empathy but they also lack intelligence.

[PonyCar]

(Looks around for a degree that required Intro Biology, specifically ecology) Is there one here?

[Crazyced]

From a purely black and white logical point of view, it can be seen as hypocritical. But the fact of the matter is that men and women hold each other to different standards. Just look at teeny tiny women that will only date giant men.

"Because in realty the only things that separate us are our sexual organs. Everything else is the same."

This is absolutely false. Men and women are very difference in plethora of way, down to the way our brains are actually wired.

[Kshppatel]

I don't sleep with a lot of women or even try to so I think I have every right to not want a woman who spends every other night at the club sleeping with different men. I don't seek out these women and try to make them into a relationship girl. If you are used to doing what you want as far as having many partners is concerned there is no reason to believe you will change for one person. Also the past is a good indicator of the future. The only thing we can go on to tell the future is the past so you can't get mad at us if we don't want to pursue a relationship with you because you've had Sex with a lot of people in the past. Understand that it's nothing personal. I'm just looking out for my own emotional safety. You made the decision to sleep with a lot people so you can't really be mad when I decide I don't want to enter a relationship with you because of that fact.

[dartmaul15]

No they shouldn't, nor should they expect any special treatment from society just because you're born with a pussy.

You're a human, and that's it. We don't need to categorize further. History has shown time and again that putting people in categories just breed racism.

[104755555]

I think it's bullshit that men do this. Every guy wants a girl that doesn't sleep around. How stingy for a guy to mess up that girls future with her husband for his hour of fun and then go around and not marry a girl that sleeps around. Guys should be held to the same standard. But it will continue because the best girls like men that sleep around instead because they seem like the better choice when in actually the guy with the balls to practice what he preaches is the best guy. Ultimately it's the womens fault because they are the gatekeeper.

[Metlahead]

Whoever thinks promiscuity=lower standards is a fucking moron. Their opinion's on the topic are worthless, like teaching creationism in science classes.

I am polyamorous, and not only am I okay with women sleeping around, I encourage it, and that includes the woman that I love and am committed to.

[Agrojag]

I agree and I do hold both sexes to the same standard. Perhaps I hold women who behave this way in a slightly more negative esteem but that's because I think of being with women and also because women who sleep around take a higher risk against their health. But I wouldn't expect people to respect me or any other guy who goes whoring.

[Anonymous]

Well guys have every right to demand a virgin wife or a women who has less partners... this is because we guys don't want promiscuous women cause there is more possibility of her cheating and this thinking of wanting a virgin wife is good for a guy who is virgin...

But in reality if I love my SO then to me it won't matter how many she has slept with cause to me the only thing that would matter that she loves me and she is faithful currently...😊 but that does not mean if she has slept with 100 men then I would still take her... NO WAY!!
Every body have their own standards and they have a right to choose their partner how ever they want...

[Anonymous]

Male and female psychology is different, not just their genitals. Perhaps that's a reason why men commit suicide more, since no one likes to acknowledge those differences over being politically correct.

Mating strategies are different (and thus behavior) due to biological differences (and then by necessity, psychology).

As to your question, I will have any standards I want for a partner. Who are you to tell me otherwise? I'm consistent and fair, and even if I wasn't, you still aren't in a position to say anything.

[casualcryptic]

But then you must except women to have standards for you. It is highly unlikely you will meet a woman willing to meet your high standards without standards of her own.

[Opinion Owner]

@casualcryptic she can have whatever standards she wants, who said she couldn't? I'm not particularly concerned, it will either work out with a girl or it won't, I don't much care either way.

[cipher42]

I know it wasn't the main point, but I want to point out that the suicide thing is a misleading statistic. Women actually attempt suicide at a higher rate, but men end up actually committing it more because they use more violent (thus more effective) strategies. So while it's technically true, it's still pretty misleading.

Anyhow, on to the main point. Firstly, how do you know the behaviors are so different because of biology and not simply due to socialization? Secondly, it's idiotic of you to have standards for a partner that you yourself do not fulfill. You can do it, sure, but it's still hypocritical. That's the main point here.

[boomkiller7]

so women are just pussies when it comes to suicide?

[104755555]

If you sleep around you should choose someone with similar valises as you

[gray_sailor]

When it comes to suicide, women prefer pills and men prefer guns.

Damned hard to vomit up bullets.

[Izzy2102]

Well if you're gonna go for the men are biologically designed to sleep around so it's ok argument. Then you'd also have to accept that women are biologically designed to cheat with more attractive men and that's ok too

[AdamThomas]

I just don't think sleeping around should be encouraged in either men or women. I don't understand women who complain about slut-shaming because whenever I ask, none of them like men who sleep around either. So yeah, I think we should act more decent.