Why women should have higher standards for dating!

[MendaciousMarxist]

In a world that continues to bend and lower expectations, NEVER date down or settle, ladies! Many toxic men on here seem to think having high standards is a problem. Having high dating standards is a good thing.

This leads to women thinking "Are my standards too high?" They aren't! Here's why:

1. A woman with standards who's worth her time and understands her worth!

she would be risking being disappointed if her partner didn't live up to her's expectations. Everyone has expectation, it is only society that shames women for what her expectations are. It tells the world that she is a confident woman and in the dating market that is a rare trait

2. Dating standards are important because they set the foundation for any type of relationship.

giving up on your dating standards doesn't move you towards your dream relationship. It moves you towards hell, what you don't want. A strong woman knows she the journey she wants and how to go there. NEVER SETTLE!

3. If you know what you want, it’s easier to find it!

So not only will you know the relationship YOU want, you will also know where to look. Certain people will go to certain places. Now you know where to look for your soul mate!

4. You weed out the bitter, toxic men you don't want

This is something I've had to learn in life. You will too. Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Men fear rejection. This is why you have the mgtow movement, these are men you want to AVOID. There are men who will hunt you and harrass you for not dating poor guys, short guys, weak beta men, etc. Don't settle for THEM!!

[ShellyB]

This is so true. Let me just say that "higher standards" does not mean "super high standards" or "unrealistic standards" it just means higher than the alternative.

In HS I dated a good looking popular guy who bored me and I really should not have dated I just thought I was supposed to date him, I kept trying to get him to dump me but he would not so I finally broke up w him when we went to colleges that were half an hour apart using the excuse that I couldn't handle a long distance relationship. My error there was dating who I thought I was supposed to date instead of who I wanted to date (or not dating at all).

Early in college I dated a senior who I thought was v. smart, wordly, actually I thought he was a genius (he is not), and I was attracted to, and he pretty much treated me as a sex object, the sex was great the relationship was awful but I put up w it because I thought he was so much better than me, until I finally reached a breaking point (he showed friends extremely private nudes of me wo permission).

Then as a rebound attempt I dated a coworker at a restaurant we both worked at and he took advantage of me sexually, at that point I had, I would have to call it kind of a breakdown, I didn't want to leave the house or see anybody I almost dropped out of college just to avoid people (and I am a social person) I quit my job to avoid him.

Then a suitemate fixed me up w her cousin, who was 9 years older than me, a super nice guy, we never got past second base, I wanted to go slow bc of the other experiences I had just had, he freaked out and thought it was bc he was older and that I was breaking up with him, so he pre emptively broke up with me, then he apologized and wanted to talk and I had not been planning to break up w him but I just did not feel like dealing w it so I did break up with him at that point.

I went on a date or two with other people but they didn't really click so I won't describe them here, the main reason it did not click is that I felt like they were not being genuine, or in one case I just wasn't attracted to him enough.

So by this point I would say my standards were higher. I was rejecting guys I would have dated earlier, I just did not feel like it was worth it wo a real relationship.

To make a long story longer, I had been trying to help my younger brother socially, he went to my same high school but two years behind me, I was popular in HS and my brother was not, I knew a popular girl in his class and I got her to be nice to him and invite him to stuff, me and that girl ended up as good friends, and through her I met her brother, who is four years older than her (two years older than me) and I thought he was cool but I wasn't thinking about him as a potential partner, then he asked me out and I was surprised and not sure what to do since his sister was my friend, but I gave it a try and I am so glad I did, we have a great relationship and understand each other, and want the same things basically, there are little exceptions like he wants a dog and I do not but overall we are in sync.

I know this is long sorry. But I am writing it so maybe a younger girl will read it and be able to skip some of the steps and mistakes I made? Or maybe you have to find out for yourself I guess, I ignored a lot of advice!!

[BlueScorpio]

I agree. I hear so many confusing talking points from men online these days. Sometimes they end up contradicting themselves a lot. One minute our standards are too high, we're too stuck up and high maintenance, golddigging etc. All because a lot these guys just want to score women as easily and cheaply as they can without much effort. Then the next it's you should of choose better if a guy leaves you high and dry with kids, can't help with bill/refuse to provide, cheats, reveals his true nature as an abuser/manipulator etc.

It's like some of these guys put women between a hard place and rock. I know this isn't all men, but I do believe the guys who keep saying this stuff are goalpost movers when they want certain things to benefit them. I do think this is shame tactic some men do to get women to choose them over better candidates.

[BlueScorpio]

Truth is a lot men are secretively jealous of each other, just like how women can be jealous of one another. It's that competitive drive, most men are willing to admit they are jealous of another man that doing better than them. That's why it's easier to turn, poke, and take their frustration out on us over. I believer that's where whoke term "chad" came from. Any guy thats doing better than them interms of looks, intelligence, skill, education, and finances can become a "chad" regardless if he really is an asshole or not. "Chad" is just another man, threat they don't want to compete against. And since they don't want to run the risk of possible being put into their place by "chad", they will do everything in their power to make "chad" seem like a terrible pick. A lot of then actually like chad, a lot of them want to be chad, but they aren't and since they can't be chad.. that bitch has to go. Iys essentially the male version of mean girls. It all comes down to any man you pick that isn't me makes you the problem and that is how a lot (not all) men are competing today.

[LordLookcan]

On what basis are you saying that men are, "jealous of one another?" Is that personal 'opinion,' or can you qualify it with anecdotal evidence? That's not my experience as a man at all. Women are far more competitive with each other than men, no doubt about it.

'Chad' is not a Woke term either! Explain how men make Chads and Tyrone's "look a terrible pick." It's women who find that out the hard way! Many women habitually make BAD choices, they go for men who have no interest in marriage, or a serious relationship, they are 'F' boys. TiKTok is rammed with videos of women whining about being treated poorly by Chad or Tyrone. That's down to their own poor life choices and decisions, and women repeat the same mistakes constantly.

[VanillaSalt]

@BlueScorpio I think your right to a degree. The part that gets complicated is the fact to Jay even keep choosing these men and then complain these men don’t step up. You have to admit these women are to blame for the men they choose and the choices they make when dating them. If you don’t put out so quickly it might make for a better choice or if you don’t pick the guy with 50 partners he might be more willing to stick around.

Women decide their partners based off feelings and men based off logic. Maybe if men felt more and women were more logical they’d be better off?

[BlueScorpio]

@LordLookcan Basis? You never met a jealous person before? Men are capable of being jealous of one another, difference is that women tend to be a bit more direct or passive aggressive about it. Your personal experiences doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Also that was a typo, I didn't say chad is a whole term, I meant to say the word "whole". If men weren't jealous of each other they wouldn't be online complain about women choosing certain types of men over them.

[BlueScorpio]

@VanillaSalt Again, men tend to shift the blame on the woman constantly. How many tinea do we have to hear not to put out so quickly or how you're not going to buy the cow if your getting the milk for free only to turn around and say you won't wait till marriage to "test drive it out". You know men say and do this, you know there plenty of men who want women to put out as soon as possible or once in a long term relationship. I don't know why you guys keep lying about it or acting like men don't expect this. When men choose terrible partners I hope you're telling them the exact same advice but something tells me you dont.

[BlueScorpio]

*woke

[VanillaSalt]

Lol yes we want sex immediately… but that’s not who we marry that’s who we fuck. Big difference. You can last a few weeks in…

And no I don’t. It’s women that choose men take what they can get… we’re content.

[BlueScorpio]

@VanillaSalt men and women choose one another, don't ask to be leaders if women have to responsibility for men's crappy behavior. You guys tend to use women as a scape goat too much. We know men want aex immediately, so stop blaming women for having high standards whe we're trying to rule those guys out. We know we can last a few weeks, but it's the men who usually can't and you just admitted that.

[BlueScorpio]

@VanillaSalt of course you don't tell men the samething. It's hypocrisy and it's why the sexes are at war with each other. You guys have to stop acting like you can get away with piss poor behavior just cause you have dick between your legs. You are not perfect nor are you sinless either. When you and I die, God is going to judge us fairly, it won't matter if you have penis or a vagina.

[VanillaSalt]

@BlueScorpio I’m seeing a lot of blame but no accountability. Not one word of what you’ve said in this thread blames women for making poor choices. It’s all on the men for tricking them, meanwhile your calling out my hypocrisy for not calling out men for their behavior? Hello pot, kettle calling.

Women as a whole seem to lack the ability to take accountability. Men will take any hole they can get pretty much but the hole has to say yes… You share in the blame except for the men that succeed they get the sex so why stop? Women on the other hand don’t want the sex right? They were tricked after all. So why do they keep picking men that aren’t worthy of they excellence? But you can’t see this because it’s all about how you were wronged not about how you were WRONG.

Let’s be clear about your high standards. Your high standards means in the hundreds of messages you pick the best and see what they offer. I’m aware I’m not as highly prized because I’m not “the best”. But I’m also not bad or a cheater or abuser… I know how to treat people… That’s the “high standards” you women have the men are talking about. Again it’s down to the men your choosing.

I’ve been single 6 years now and celibate for several months. I’ll take sex if given the chance but I’m not out chasing it like some goal. Your too judgmental on all guys based off your feelings. Everything I’ve said is logic your just spouting emotion.

I don't know or care about god and his will let it be done. But men and women aren’t the same the reasons behind who we are and what we do aren’t the same and we’re not making the same mistakes. Your just not intelligent enough to understand the sexes have to approach dating differently because of the nature of dating. It pisses you off that you cannot just demand it to be a certain way.

Come back when you can argue a logical intelligent word without all the raw emotion of a toddler.

[Pegases]

I don't think most men have a problem with women that have standards. We just see women too often with standards that they can't live up to themselves. Standards are good and necessary for both genders.

[BlueScorpio]

@VanillaSalt I'll come back when you take your own advice.

[VanillaSalt]

You’re the problem.

[Vegasrunner]

@BlueScorpio It's only a secret to women. Alpha men realize other men will be jealous of them that's part if the game. The difference is men understand that they either compete or fail while most women say away from competition. I think you're on the right track w/ your thought process though. I lot of guys use what's called the vulture technique in order to attract women.

[DaveJord]

It's not about women having high standards. It is about them having REALISTIC standards.

It's about then repeating men, and their own standards. If set your value that high, you are pricing yourself out of the market.

I mean I will buy a 49 cent banna for $1.00, if it's a really good Banna. If you put a $2.00 price tag on it... well maybe but I still know it only worth 49 cents.

[DaveJord]

Respecting not repeating.

[VanillaSalt]

This is what I argue here… but women don’t understand the difference between expectation and reality. Most don’t anyway and many men as well.

[Avicenna]

Well, in reality most people don't meet these high standards and most people decide to settle, at least somewhat. Something that does happen quite a bit with your thinking is that some women who don't have much to offer develop unrealistically high expectations and are inevitably disappointed.

[Tracker1958]

Men should never be a woman second choice or be the one she settled for. It's better to stay single all your life than be a settling for husband. No one ever talk about the men that have to settled for women that half of town has had sex with. That make him the laughing stock of the men. But that's the women men have to choose from. It's the men doing the settling with trashy women. It's the same as marrying a porn star, same thing as far as we care. High value women translate to men as a slut. These women are for entertainment purposes only, not marriage.

[dustybiker]

@Tracker1958 As if half the towns men weren’t sleeping sound too. You make it sound like a single gender standard and only bad when a woman does it.

[chicosuave]

@dustybiker well it is bad because of the power dynamic. You think a man of super high caliber support their wife sleeping with multiple men or had a history of sleeping with hundreds of men? i don't think so. only liberals and polygamist accept those types of relationships. conservatives women will understand that. deep down women understand it but refuse to acknowledge it and prefer to empower polygamy on other women.

[dustybiker]

@chicosuave interesting perspective you have there.

[mrpaythebills]

@dustybiker it is. Men who sleep with multiple women is a difficult feat, where a women who opens her legs to a lot of men is easy to do. Guys are rewarded whereas women are looked down upon. That is never going to change. sorry.

[Lookingforthetruth]

@dustybiker u assume that half of men are sleeping around when that's hardly the case.

[dvc0006]

@Tracker1958 that is your opinion only

[Guy13]

Nice document... What you have not realized at 21 is there are more women than men on this earth and in America. And, the same guy can bar hop with his friends and receive a woman's attention at each establishment, therefore, the one you believe yourself deserved of is likely Busy. I am sure you are the exception.

[strateguy632]

good points about options and more

[Mybeachlife8888]

There is so much to uncover in this post. Should women have standards? Yes! Should women have high standards? Absolutely not, unless your definition of high standards is different than mine. When you go out of the way to say high standards, it makes me think you are saying women should put themselves on a pedestal. This is the absolute wrong way to look at dating. I’m sure we have all heard about the dating websites where only a very small percent of guys are getting all the dates. From my experience this was true. I’m not trying to come off as cocky, I promise, but I did have a very easy time on dating sites. It taught me so much about dating. The key point I’m going to explain from my experience is that no matter what your expectations are, you’re most likely going to have to compromise IF YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY. Let me explain, and I will try to sum it up as quick as possible.

In a world of fake expectations, kardashian bullshit, marketing, reality tv, etc. we have gone away from what really matters. What really matters is being happy. You need to find someone that will be as happy with you as you will be with them. I’ve always known this, and that’s why I was realistic with my high standards. I wasn’t out there looking for the woman who was the most beautiful, or the one that was the wealthiest, etc. I was looking for someone who I genuinely connected with. I had a list of things that were a hard pass for me, and I will say this is where people should have high standards. (Smoking, drugs, drinking too heavily, etc). The one thing to remember is how high the divorce rates are and then think about what’s causing this to happen. In my opinion the divorce rates are so high because people did a bad job at selecting someone that’s compatible with them, or that the standards they have are just UNREALISTIC.

So if you want my answer, Standards should not necessarily be high. Instead your standards should be met. People should settle, because in my opinion settling is what keeps us happy. Settle for someone where you can accept them for their flaws, as they will accept you for yours. (We all have them). But never settle for anyone who isn’t compatible for you. And with that said, the biggest problem I noticed with the women I dated is that most of them didn’t know what would truly make them happy. So maybe start with that, and be realistic rather than shooting for the stars. Trust me when I tell you that people are surprising and someone that you would have never imagined can make you much happier than this dream person you might create with high expectations.

[VanillaSalt]

I’m not sure a woman can understand dating from a man’s perspective… But let’s try.


Let’s discuss these standards.
How many matches on dating apps do you get a month? You can’t be expected to message and get them ALL. You have to pick the best from very little information. Thus the “high standards”. The issue with this is I’m not a first pick. Actually MOST men aren’t a first pick. Looks are paramount in dating apps and women have the benefit of being raised focusing on their beauty. You have fashion sense, filters, makeup… we don’t do that. We focus on ourselves and being the best in our fields. Also consider the possibility that you will probably compared out loud or inward all the best men you’ve dated with the men you are currently dating. It’s hard to compete with the best of 10 of the best men you’ve been with.


Expectations seem to be different as well. Men just want kindness and beauty and everything else is a bonus. Women expect much much more. This could be mens low expectations or women's high expectations.


To be clear dating is controlled by women. You pick from the many men that want you. You give sex as you desire. Men always want it and aren’t allowed to just take it giving you control. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing but what about the men that don’t get to experience it? Their not good enough. Children are locked behind sex so women also control the key to children. That’s a lot of power that’s one sided. You should consider what men think when they fail to get your attention over and over again. You refuse them while choosing these “chads”. Everyone thinks their better then they actually are lol both men and women. So this guy thinks he’s amazing and yet you complain about how you hate men because 3 boyfriends in a row cheated on you. As far as guys are concerned your choosing to be cheated on and let’s face it… you are. If only you chose this amazing man that would never have cheated over this “chad” you could have both been happy!


Last thing to consider… men only want one thing and it’s disgusting… no seriously all men want one single thing. A strong bond with someone. They want intimacy they can’t have with a friend. A woman that can accept their weakness and help them be stronger. Even the players want this but guys… they don’t get sex like women. It don’t come second nature. Even sex with a hookup is a form of intimacy and considering how starved men are for it they will accept sex as a consolation prize. They chase it. For you it’s an act without meaning considering your on your 3rd partner this month. I’m not saying women should sleep with men either I’m just saying women have tons of power and only give mercy to the guys that don’t appreciate it. To the other guys you overlook it makes you look stupid and takes them to a dark place.


I work hard to be a good man. I have a decent job earning me more than half this country and I still have tons of vacation and days off. I’m very intelligent and funny (depending on who you ask). Faithful. Trustworthy. Honest. Pretty average in looks but MORE than makeup for it with my kick ass pompadour.


It’s taken me 6 months to go out on a date… and I’ve put a real effort into dating. One date. Dozens of ghosts. I feel like a haunted house at this point. Meanwhile there’s still women in my city on TikTok crying about how horrible men are and how they were cheated on and all that. Im just saying not exactly a good look.


So yeah. Your standards are off. If you can’t even look at me because of your standards, their off.

[chicosuave]

very well said. But just give them the hard truth. Its disgusting how there's tons of 40 year old women who are out single and still have all these expectations. Yet deep down the rabbit hole they want that man they always wished but they can't get him because he just doesn't exist. I hate seeing these women thinking like that. 20 years ago it wasn't that bad and most women were in a relationship or trying to get with the average guy. about 76 percent women initiate most divorces today. yet they all want marriage and are disappointed because guys will not commit. well the guys from the top 1 percent have so many options of course they are not gonna commit. Its all reverse psychology what women respond to.

[VanillaSalt]

Is it wrong to way better? I don’t think it is otherwise all humans are wrong. No matter how much we get we always aim higher that’s part of the strength of humanity… I don’t have the right to say their standards are wrong however… If they set their standards and end up alone their just as responsible for their loneliness as the men that fail to measure up… arguably more. That being said it was their standards so they shouldn’t complain when they fail to get what they want.

There is potential to have greater happiness compromising in life then being rigged but that’s their choice. It’s gonna cost a lot of men especially ones like me not willing to aim for the top but it is what it is I have no control over what women want only what I choose to be. I just don’t wanna hear their bitching in the aftermath. It’s time to accept the consequences.

[aaron210419]

I agree that you should have standards but I don't think it's right to judge someone on such shallow measures like income or how fucking tall they are. Relationships should be based on trust, respect, and honesty. You could be passing up on a relationship with someone who values you as a person, loves you with all his heart, and would literally do anything for you simply because you wanted to chase the same guy every other woman is chasing.
I also agree that you should avoid those that associate with incels and that kind of mindset, but at the same note men never called it "dating down" when they were with a woman that made less money than they did. Men in general do not care how much money you make or the fact that you "pay your own bills, etc.." that's just part of being an adult and we all do it. I agree with most of this but straight up there no such thing as toxic masculinity, just toxic people and it does seem that there are a growing number of people who are out for themselves and it's just as toxic to try and convince other women to set their standards on something like a guy's height which is out of his control. It's true that there are a lot of lost boys out there (mostly the ones screaming about how they're an alpha) that will never grow up and don't know how to take responsibility for their short comings, but this goes both ways. You do have very valid points and you're allowed your preferences and opinions but it's not empowering or beneficial to try to convince people to judge others on how much they make or how tall they are. I can't stress how cringe this is and I'm 6'3". By all means have standards, preferences, and expectations but make sure they're realistic and base your relationships by what's in your partners heart not by their height. Lastly there's no such thing as your dream relationship, that's why it's a dream. Relationships that last the longest are those worth fighting for, it's a team effort and there will be disappointments and disagreements and you will have to consciously make the decision to love your partner. I'm not saying that things like cheating or any kind of abuse is okay or should be forgiven because they are never acceptable for anyone who respects themselves or their partner. Relationships are difficult regardless of who you are and who you're with but they can also be a very beautiful thing. I wish men and women would get over themselves, take responsibility for the partners they choose to be with and not base everyone from the other gender by the shitty experiences in their past. I'm not condoning feminism or mgtow, I think both have their flaws to say the least but I would like to see less of a division and less hostility towards each other. So use your head and your heart when you're deciding to enter a relationship, and if you find someone that is on your side appreciate what you have and good luck to those who haven't found someone yet, no one deserves to die alone in a world with 7.5 billion people.

[Lookingforthetruth]

What would you tell this Indian woman that made this tiktok

www.tiktok.com/.../7137436900478127406

And proceeded to shame a man who told her that she'll end up single and old if she holds onto it

www.tiktok.com/.../7137662838176353582

[strateguy632]

very well presented

[LordLookcan]

Hilarious. Usual deluded BS. Women in the West have developed a misplaced belief that they are, 'The Prize.' They have put themselves on a pedestal, and as a result, they have become VERY 'entitled.' They set ridiculous standards and criteria for men to meet. A prime example is the female obsession with height. I'm on a dating site, and I regularly read comments like, "Must be at least 6ft because I like to wear heels." SO instantly, these women are excluding about *80%* of the male population- who are below 6 foot in height. HEIGHT is not a 'quality,' it in no way contributes to a successful relationship. Personal qualities like honestly, loyalty and having a decent set of values most certainly do. The fact that so many women regard height as an essential criteria speaks volumes- how very shallow!

Women seem to have no shortage of demands, yet they really seem to consider the question, "What am I actually bringing to a man's life?" Sadly, in too many instances, they bring nothing but demands and *RISK.* Many women grossly over estimate their SMV- Sexual Market Value, no matter how attractive YOU think you are, it's men who are the judges! 80% of women on dating sites are only interested in 10-15% of the men. Their 'entitlement' leads them to believe that they DESERVE a high value male ie 6 Foot, 6 pack, 6 figure salary. They ostracise men on middle incomes, and hold out for a HVM. What they fail to appreciate is that HMV's have their pick of women, so the odds are stacked against women- especially the many 6 & 7's who delude themselves that they 9 & 10's!

I find the derogatory comment about MGTOW HILARIOUS! MGTOW is entirely about RISK AVERSION, it's NOT toxic at all. If people are actively avoiding you and simply doing their own thing in life, how is that in anyway 'toxic?' It's not. However, women feel threatened by the fact that increasing numbers of men are looking at the marriage, divorce and Family court laws, the high rates of divorce- 53% in the US and 43% in the UK, they are concluding that the RISK outweighs any 'REWARD.' Marriage is a bad deal for men. Why? The gynocentric legal systems have provided women with carte blanche to take men to the cleaners financially. That bubble has well and truly burst- men have finally wised up and increasingly, they just aren't going to entertain getting married, cohabiting, or having children. "Men are afraid will laugh at them." "Men fear rejection." That has absolutely NOTHING to do with why the vast majority of men are going MGTOW. They have concluded that women and relationships just present an unacceptable level of RISK, if they haven't been divorce r*ped themselves, they have observed it happen in their extended family, or to their male friends. Women feel THREATENED by MGTOW because they see their chances of being able to tap into a man's financial resources in order to help finance a family, disappearing. By 2030, 45% of women will be single and childless- HARSH FACT.

For 50+ years, women have been lecturing men about them being, 'Strong and independent,' and how they, "Don't need men!" It's ironic that now men are at long last adjusting/reacting to that, and simply doing their own thing by avoiding women and relationships, it seems women aren't happy! The BIG problem for women now is that men finally understand that women DO NOT LOVE MEN, they just LOVE WHAT MEN PROVIDE.

[Bellona]

most women do not deserve to have high standards for dating when most women are not of a high value, the majority should only have standards but not high ones.

most western women today (these are ordinary values that are rarely practiced by women = high value):

sleep around/not a virgin - this makes a woman of low value because it shows she is immature and impatient to only share her body with only one person which indicates to a man that if she really loved him that she would wait until marriage (a serious confirmed commitment), vise versa for men and for both partners in the relationship.

want to be/are dominant (or equal) in the relationship - this makes a woman of low value because it shows that she believes woke ideology of that men and women are equal. Believing and practicing ideology that is not true makes a woman of low value as well as women striping men of their 'protector' role by believing they should be dominant or equal to men. Men and women have mentally and emotionally evolved to have different roles in society, Men are natural protectors of the family and women are supposed to take care of the family.

women wear masculine clothes - this makes a women of low value because she has not distinguished her self from a man in clothing style. After all, many women do not wear a pretty dress often because they don't want people to perceive themselves as 'overdressing' or they are lazy. Tee shirt and jeans are the norm among women, this shit for men to wear too, like a boy not a man.

These are some of the high values that most women lack that makes most women undeservant of having high standards. Any high value men share your opinions of what I think you believe.

[chicosuave]

you are in the right mindset but the thing with women now in days is that they are sleeping with multiple men and ghosting them. 20 years ago most women were only sleeping with one man and that was their boyfriend or husband. today women worship independence and that's why they are what they are today. unhappy and never happy of what they have.

[strateguy632]

finaly some sanity here.

[Minxxie]

Bitter men who don't want to improve themselves will try to gaslight you into lowering your standards but once you raise them the men who meet or even exceed them will start flocking to you!

If I say "I don't do cheap coffee dates" many men will whine and cry about it but many will also rush to ask me to a classy restaurant or plan a unique date that suits my personality.

Some I've had are going to a musical, a climbing wall, and a cocktail night held at the science center, and afternoon tea then an amusement park.

The men who couldn't meet my standards complained about it but we knew not to waste our time getting to know each other from there and that's great! They can find a woman with lower standards.

The men who could meet or exceed my standards happily did so and they are actually the types of men I would want to settle down with, it's worth our time ti get to know each other.

Telling men that I don't do hookups and need a serious commitment before I can have sex with someone also weeds out a lot of the types of men I am not interested in.

Your standards are like a filter that keeps you from drinking muddy water so if you hold firm to your standards it prevents a lot of gross stuff from coming through! (even if what is unappealing to you might be okay to someone else, your standards are yours!)

[dvc0006]

this is ridiculous , you are so petty, rejecting people over a cheaper date? you don't even know someone and reject them over superficial stuff

[Lookingforthetruth]

@dvc0006 dates are sort of a way for women to gauge a man's provider ability

[U4ea0]

Bitter women don't want to improve.

Why would I be interested in a woman who has slept with dozens of men and been on birth control for 10 years? Such a woman is going to require hundreds of thousands in fertility treatments and be an unacceptable risk of screwing around. Not to mention the thinning and stretching of her vaginal walls caused by hormonal contraceptives. Such a woman is damaged goods.

[Lionman95]

Corncerning you´re myTake I think it´s a good but it´s stating what I would consider obvious since having women and men should have high standards for sure as you wanna spend at best life with them.

The funny thing though is a lot of people love to smash around phrases like "have higher standards", but nobody bothers to talk when standards are too high. (Maybe because that´s not as easy to be generalized in phrase)

That´s far more interesting too me since I think that will become the dating problems of the future. In my view especially the West is in an idolizing culture where people use filters and photo editing programs before sharing pics with their friends. In times of social media where it seems like everyone wants to get as most clicks as possible anything else than perfection seems as not to be excused.

The issue is just that´s possible with photos but not with human beings. You can´t overwrite or change a person into a perfect partner within seconds. I therefore think that at some point in time people will get a problem finding a partner because the expectation in a partner will rise to a level that a partner can´t achieve before having entered a relationship. So it can happen that in the future people that are single are the norm and people that are taken or married are the minority.

[chicosuave]

well. i dont blame you. You were born in the right era. Might as well just depopulate the world by not ever finding any man in general. deep down all you women do wish to get with a man but with the "right" prince charming right? Which he doesn't exists. Just keep on dreaming because you will never find him. Its your funeral. but you have the right to dream and wish for things. a lot of 40 year old women are single by the massive numbers. Everywhere you see them and yet they are on social media single delusional and depressed looking for the right man. Yet they are complaining cuz they just can't find them. Which they never will. Single mothers is like a trend now and all these divorced women. Yet we do know which gender is the initiator of breakups and divorces.

Either way we men are not losing because we are leaving in mass numbers to other countries where women dont have this type of mindset to bring them back to the country to have children with. Yet they shame us because of who we are and yet they are calling us losers etc etc. Well guess what with those types of expectations who do you think is the real loser here? We men are not shallow we are simple. We only want a women who is kind and affectionate. A women on its feminine core. Women have a list of 1k expectations on what they wish for a man. Thanks to women like you, you are empowering lonely depressed women to dig there rabbit hole into a darker future. Thats ok but it will never fill the hole you are trying to fill. there is no magic pill.

But yeah go ahead and do your thing. But leave men alone and stop trying to shame them and to give them some information so they can be better with women. Today women are never happy for what they have. Like They say " what do men of power want? More power. Same goes for women.

[Anonymous]

Everyone male or female, should have the highest standards they can get away with while still being able to get dates and/or find a partner.

Where today's women fall down in terms of standards is with promiscuity. There are a lot of bitter women here and elsewhere who complain about the double standards men have regarding body counts and they suggest men need to lower their standards. Nope, men should not lower their standards to women's level; women should raise their standards to men's level. And guys, don't ever lower your standards on this one. It is hugely important if you want to find a quality woman as a mate and have a good chance at a lasting relationship.

The other related issue women complain about with respect to men's standards is sex and marriage. It seems "men only want sex anymore and don't want to get married". Well, this is a women problem too. Women are the gatekeepers to sex and men are the gatekeepers to marriage, and men are taking their gatekeeper role MUCH more seriously than women are these days. Again, that's a women problem. Women's standards for casual sex have dropped to an all time low. But at the same time, they have made marriage less appealing than ever before, so men are just saying no. And again, guys, do NOT lower your standards on this one. You WILL regret it.

[Anonymous]

"There are men who will hunt you and harrass you for not dating poor guys, short guys, weak beta men, etc. Don't settle for THEM!!"

Yeah, AVOID those poor, short scumbags at all costs! You have higher standards girls!
Don't be fooled into thinking that kind, sweet guy who loves you with all his heart is right for you. Don't be so shallow! How tall is he? How's his bank balance looking? THOSE are the important questions you should be asking.

You need to kick that shortass to the curb girl... and then laugh at him lol!
You wanna take me on a date to the fairground? Aren't you too short to get on any of the rides? Hahahahaaa beat it, shortass.

He loves you and cares for you like you are his world? Bahahaaa what a weak beta man!

So he'll always be loyal to me? Who cares! What is he, a dog?

And don't get me started on those losers who have less than a 6-figure bank balance. What you gonna buy me for Christmas, a can of sweetcorn? Do I LOOK like the sort of girl who wears anything cheaper than a cartier diamond necklace? Omg how DARE that poor loser even THINK he can date me!

To find your dream guy, your soulmate, the love of your life, you need to set your standards HIGH girls.. at least 6ft high with a 7-figure bank balance. Don't settle for anything less!

Having high standards tells the world how much you are worth. Don't let those toxic, poor, short beta-men bring you down!

[DoctorSex]

If I've said it once I've said it 1000 times. It just takes one attack on the electrical grid for the majority of new age female ideologies to go out the window. Those Incels you talk so much about, start going from house to house looking for single feminists to have their way with. Who would you call?

Everything you've written changes the second the electrical grid goes down and you realise just how dangerous it is to be a single woman in a country with no electrical grid.

Kind regards,

DoctorSex

[Swollerbear]

Standards should be considered, absolutely. Women should be picky because they take a big risk when they choose a man. Having said that, a woman's demands needs to be reasonable relative to what she offers. There was a video of college women demanding that men make over $100,000 in their twenties which constitutes a very small percentage of the the male population in their twenties. These women who demanded these things were not very attractive, and didn't have much to offer. A high value man typically seeks beauty in a woman. They seek beauty, an ability to yield to his call, mental stability, and loyalty. An average looking woman who's engulphed in modern-feminist ideology, sleeps around, and has an ego problem is not a quality woman. A woman of such caliber demanding a top 10% man is laughable. So standards are good, but a culturally cultivated sense of delusional expectations is just off-putting.

[Price511]

You had me until the idea of “weak and beta men.”


I get your point and I agree with it for the most part; I think it’s a great articulation of why standards and boundaries are important, and there’s due credit to that.


However I will say that the idea of the whole “alpha-beta-sigma” thing doesn’t really exist if you ask me, and is often just used as an idea of inherent worth over others from what I’ve seen and experienced.


Great take otherwise, standards and boundaries should always be respected 👍

[sassy_receptor]

i 100% agree. i don’t think women should compromise or settle in anyway. not on height not on money not on personality not on looks… nothing. if you settle you will never be happy and you’ll just grow resentment towards them for not being what you actually want. that just increases the chances of divorce or cheating.


so ladies if you want that 6’5, 6 figure, 6 inches man want him and don’t compromise your wants regardless of what bitter men who don’t meet your standards say. when you’re content with yourself and you’re successful on your own, it’s easy to ignore the hater.


never settle

[sassy_receptor]

6’1 but he’s the tallest guy i’ve ever dated. i don’t have strong height preferences.

[sassy_receptor]

i can’t determine if you’re quality based on a description

[Swollerbear]

The problem with your standards is that they don't measure the test of time. They're shallow in a sense. If these are your standards of what constitutes a good relationship, you're destined to fail. Women should seek strength and mental resilience in a man. Ambition and his ability to influence. Height, penis size, and looks are variables to consider when considering a sexual partner. Those attributes don't impact you in a notable way in the setting of a long-term relationship. If you marry based on these things, your marriage won't last a long time.

[Swollerbear]

I also believe that women should have high standards. They take a big risk when they choose a long-term partner. They need a strong man to be able to lead, provide, and offer a suitable life for their children. They need a man that their children look up to. A man who's going to stand the test of time and is resilient. Height and all those things are just not a great gauge to see how well a man will perform his duties. A baseline of attraction is important, but this can't be the way you filter through guys if you want a high-quality relationship.

[sassy_receptor]

no those attributes are long term because most won’t have sex with someone they’re not attracted to. you can have the best personality in the world but if you’re not attractive why should they have sex with you? prepare to be a cuck if she finds you ugly but you want her to be with you anyways. i’m not saying those physical things mean the most in a relationship but they’re apart of the equation. anyone who thinks it doesn’t matter is in deniable. i also think it’s funny how men can prioritize looks but women are supposed to prioritize mental and looks shouldn’t matter? kind of ironic don’t ya think.

taller height makes women feel protected and secure. and it’s a feeling women have chased since the beginning of time. men today can complain about height all the want but biologically women crave that and have always been more attracted to taller partners. i don’t know why you guys are acting brand new.

[Swollerbear]

Attraction in a long term relationship will gravitate toward physicality to emotional connection. No matter how attractive you are, novelty wears off through time. The sustainability is built upon the fabric of emotional stimulation and fulfilling each others needs in life. Physically attraction needs to be there, but you're setting yourself up for failure if you think it takes precedence over everything I just mentioned.

You can be offended by men prioritizing beauty, just as men can be offended by you prioritizing income potential. We're different and value different things. It's best to accept these things rather than becoming resentful over them.

[Swollerbear]

A 6'5" man will make a woman feel protected while they are dating. If that same 6'5" man is emotional unstable, cannot provide, lashes out at her, and cannot command a room, then she will no longer feel safe with him.

[Swollerbear]

I'm typing this out as a warning so that maybe someone younger than me can avoid some of my same mistakes. I'm typing this out as someone who's not bitter or lack options, but a married man who has a lot of history with dating and promiscuity. I used prioritize these things in relationships, and have almost been destroyed because of them. I have 9 years on you. I know at 20, you think you know everything, but one of the wisest things you can do is listen to others. I'm not challenging you.

[Swollerbear]

For example, I work as a financial advisor, and I think that women shouldn't judge a man's earning potential by his job. Wealth is behavior based rather than income based. There are so many high W2 earners who are broke because they have terrible money habits. I'm merely suggesting to look at things with more depth.

[U4ea0]

Only 14% of men are 6 foot+. You see how this is simply not going to work? The key word is feel. It is a false sense of security. Grow up.

[Adam1978]

We only ask for realistic standards, not the type that no person on the planet ever fullfill especially not themselves. I think you shouldn't demand anything from a partner you can't uphold yourself. Second you don't know your worth because it's not what you value yourself that matters it's what values you bring your partner. And that differ from partner to partner. You basically have to earn your value in each relationship. Here your entitlement will drop your value to absolute bottom, because you will add to the cost of the relationship, which is what everyone wants to keep low.

[Crazyced]

It's not about how high your standards are, but how well placed.

Women can have as high standard as then want. 'Shoot for the stars' to their hearts content. But let's get something straight. When a string of men you picked all moved on after a while, it's not because they were afraid of commitment. But because they themselves didn't want to settle.

What we're not gonna do is have you believe you're in a league you have no business in simply because some men entertained you for short term fun. If long term relations is what you want, you are as good as the type of men that are willing to commit to you. Nothing more, nothing less.

Don't go feeling some type of way because the man that ends up being there for you is not like the dudes that just took you for a spin.

[ArtemisSilver]

So you're saying that in an era where women have more choices than ever they should be choosy? That's quite the hot take.

If anything, men who are under appreciated should refuse to lower their standards.

I think you should try a little thought exercise. Would you date the other gendered version of yourself? What if any redeeming qualities and flaws do they have?

Compared to your other gendered self how does your higher standard measure up.

If you can't find flaws then the flaw is narcissism by the way.