My boyfriend doesn't like to hug or kiss me in public, and I know for sure he's okay with PDA?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have been off and on for almost 2 years now. For the first year he was always all over in front of people. As time went on he stopped the kissing and grabbing, he stopped hugging me, and now he won't even hold my hand. Don't tell me he lost feelings lol, because he does it when we aren't with people. But it almost feels like he doesn't want people to know we're together... And even when I ask him for a kiss or even a hug he says no and just leaves. It makes me feel like I just have an occasional SEX partner and not actually a boyfriend that loves and cares about me. I want him to at least kiss me on the cheek in public just because it makes me feel somewhat special that he's not afraid top show me some love like he used to... Should I talk to him about it? I don't want to look like a dumb ass when I hug him and he pushes me away..

Updates

+1 y

Hey guys, so I came to the conclusion that if I don't see a change then I'm gonna break up with him. We talked about it and he just said I don't know I don't know idk...

Updates

+1 y

by the way we're in high school so by public I meant school. When we're in town and stuff he will hold my hand and kiss me...

[WesTheGuru]

You said he used to be ok with it, but he might have changed his mind.

You said the relationship is "on and off". He probably doesn't want to get all touchy feely "we love each other so much!!!" In public with someone who he isn't consistently with.

I don't know the settings, but if I'm with friends and my girl wants to be all makeout hold hands cuddle lovey then I feel uncomfortable and don't want to. It makes everyone around you uncomfortable too. I personally don't like kissing in public at all.

If he won't hug you like when you first see each other that's a little extreme, but not holding hands is really normal.

[Asker]

I don't want to make out and cuddle I just would feel more special if he hugged me and held m hand. He doesn't have to be a over me. And before we got back together he also said he doesn't like it when people are in his business and they know everything. But I still would like to at least feel some kind of affection..

[WesTheGuru]

Honestly I think you guys being on and off is the main reason. If he doesn't like people in his business he probably HATES explaining "yea, we were together then we broke up, then got back together, then just friends now back together again".

I know I would not like explaining that, and if you're visibly couple-y in public people will probably ask "didn't you two break up?" "Oh you're back together again?" I'm guessing he just doesn't want the attention

[Asker]

Okay I feel better now I was reading some of these comments while I was with him and nearly cried. He looked all scared and worried and started to get because I wasn't telling him what was wrong. (He's over protective). It just makes it a little weird for me. But hopefully I won't have to deal with this for long because he's a senior and he'll be staying home after he graduates in a week.

[Asker]

Wait, I realized some of the passion is gone in our relationship. I've been ignoring him for the last few days. But if I seduce him do you think it could rekindle our relationship, we used to be extremely passionate about sex and I'm just now realizing neither of us have had sex for a while now. Do you think that could get him to open up a little? I've always gotten to his feelings through sex.

[WesTheGuru]

If you aren't having sex and you used to often that's always a part of the reason the relationship is failing. Try it

[Asker]

Okay I will

[FunArtNerd1990]

That's not okay behavior. If he can do it in private but not in public, he's specifically going out of his way for it to seem like you aren't together. Definitely gotta talk to him about it. Serious conversation too cuz its a sign he's cheating or doesn't want to be with you but wants the benefits that come in private. If he is pushing you away and saying no just because you asked for a little affection, then he's shutting you out.

[Asker]

There's definitely no other women involved I'm sure of it

[FunArtNerd1990]

Mkay well ruling out the other woman, he's not happy in the relationship if he totally refuses to show any affection in public. When i was 4 years into an unhappy relationship, I used to still give at least small kisses on the lips and held hands still. It was more of a mechanical thing but it was still very obvious we were together. And I'm not huge on pda

[bpmsin]

Ya I have to agree with Mr Nerd. I'm not a huge kissing guy, but a kiss on the cheek, seriously thats effing easy, even if I'm not dating a chick I expect a kiss on my cheek (So I'm in agreement with you girl) He wants out, just trying to give you small hints. Also I'm still thinking there might be another woman.. Some guys are weird and wont' leave until the "other girl" is 100% locked up

[FunArtNerd1990]

I don't think those qualify as 'small' hints. That's cold and distant and if the asker hasn't done anything to deserve that then he's not being fair. If he's unhappy to this extent, say something and not treat her like an unwanted pet basically. (My younger sister was treated similarly)

[BarbaraP]

I don't think you should take it as something to break up for. You've been together for 2 years, if you love him don't leave him just because he dorsn'r like to hold your hands at school.

Talk to him again and force him to give you a reasonable answer. Make sure he knows how serious you are and how it's making you feel bad (if he's overprotective as you say, if you show him that he's hurting you he will try to fix it).

By the way, it does seem like he cares about you.

[Asker]

I'm just not happy anymore, when I was with someone else he showed me what a relationship was suppose to be like. It's so boring with my current boyfriend/ ex. He's not easy to talk to. If I come to him with this hell be rude and brush it off and tell me he doesn't care.

[xPoison]

I don't think he's happy in the relationship

[Vish123]

Well you sure there is no other girl involved? May be he is ensuring the other girl does not see you two doing PDA's and all.

[Asker]

there's no other women