What does it mean when your boyfriend says "You look alright" ?

[Anonymous]

I know it's silly but my boyfriend would never tell me that I look pretty. He always says I look alright. I asked him why is that, and he turned around and said "Is it not enough that I am going out with you?". Well I don't think it is enough and it really kills me. I only want to know if he plays the cool or just not interested in me anymore?

Okay, he did say that I was pretty and gorgeous when we started going out but after a year he just stopped so I really do not know. (I've been dating him for 3 years)

[MrScTi]

A few years ago I would have been apathetic to your stance and called this a nonissue, and say something along the lines of "be greatful that you have a boyfriend to go out with. His actions are enough." The words would have echoed your boyfriend's sentiment.

After reading and hearing about so many cases where girls start feeling inadequate or having doubts because their partners stopped saying a few simple words (you look beautiful tonight!), I've come to the conclusion that compliments are nourishment for the female ego.

This sensitivity to positive reinforcement may serve as an intuitive function that gauges the health of the relationship. Perhaps he really isn't taking you as seriously as he should. Maybe he's thinking the same way I did years ago, where he believes you should just be happy with what you have. Neither should be acceptable.

Demand more. You deserve it. You're a beautiful girl and you try hard every day to be just that. Tell him he needs to acknowledge your efforts and stop making you feel like the ungrateful one. He should be grateful for you.

[Asker]

I am too shy to demand more but I will give it a go. Thank you

[Anonymous]

Like most men, if not all men, he hates repeating himself.
This is one of those things men just have to get used to when dating women - you all ask the same shit over and over again, and compliments have a very short half-life.

He probably got sick and tired telling you that you're good looking. His reasoning - if you weren't good looking, he wouldn't be dating you. He's thinking "Stop asking questions when you already know the answer. You just want to hear me repeat myself, well I'm not going to give you the satisfaction."

It sounds to me like you need to talk to him about the nature of women, and how you all need these constant reassurances, even if they annoy him by their endless and repetitive nature.

[Asker]

You are probably right. I will try to talk to him again and see what happens. Thank you

[findingdreamland]

Lol sorry but what a bastard ! ' Is it not enough that I am going out with you' lol

That line is the worst line can be said to a special one.

Of course it is not enough. We all need hear compliments even the Victoria secret models need. Lol

Talk to him. Tell him that it hurts. He has to understand. Relationships based on goodness, kindness. Being kind doesn't hurt.

Also do you give up your look? You can be still gorgeous. Don't give up. Men need motivation to compliment. So try on that too.

[Asker]

No I don't. Well I wouldn't think so anyway as from other guys I do get strong compliments. Thank you I will try a new look and see if he likes it or not.

[findingdreamland]

Try to make your self happy first. This is the first must in relationships, trust me. Good luck

[Asker]

Okay happiness is the way forward. Thank you so much :)

[findingdreamland]

Welcome :)

[DodgersGM]

I think you should tell him how it makes you feel.

Sometimes men don't understand that words are very important, and very powerful too. Just make him aware that the words still carry a lot of weight with you.

[Anonymous]

We sometimes forget that women's self worth is based on how they look. If we're not telling you things like pretty/hot etc.. then you think we're looking at other women. Have you told him how you felt. The number one failure of relationships? Communication. All you need to do is tell him what you're telling us "I don't like that you never call me pretty/hot anymore, it hurts when you don't". That's all you need to say, then wait for his reply, and go from there

[Asker]

I just don't want to be too greedy but I'll talk to him. Thanks for the advice

[Opinion Owner]

It's not greedy to tell him what you feel. It's when you start demanding it

[rUinSAYAN]

he is being honest?