My girlfriend kept slapping me so I choked her up?

Question

was I wrong? she says I should apologize but I told her she was the one who hit me first, now we are not talking to each other

timberlake · Accepted Answer

dude, I understand that you were mad and it was probably an impulse move to choke her - however - you should apologize for choking her because it wasn't the right way to restrain her. the right way to stop the slapping would be to hold her arms down and tell her to calm the hell down. I don't like that she was slapping you - I would NEVER slap anyone unless they hit me first or insulted me BIG time - but to choke her was a little out of hand. I know it was the heat of the moment, but it could've been handled better, ya know?

i don't know what the argument was about, so I can't say whose fault any of it was, but you can take responsibility for the choking itself. just tell her 'look, I'm sorry for choking you. I was p*ssed and it was an automatic reaction. I wanted you to stop slapping me because it wasn't right, but I was wrong for hurting you like that.' or something along those lines.

to be very honest with you, if a guy choked me, even if I were slapping him and he were mad, I'd automatically think 'ABUSER' and be scared as f*** to get back with him. your lack of sympathy wouldn't help the situation either. you're kinda young, so maybe you don't get the level of trauma you instilled in her mind, but dude - you definitely changed something in her when you choked her. that's not good. I hope she forgives you and I hope you understand what I'm trying to say here.

i know you're thinking that she hit you first and you had the right to hit her back, but as you mature and become a man, you have to understand that there are some things that you need to learn to handle better. she's not some meaningless person, she's your girlfriend. y'all both need to learn to respect each other in that regard. she shouldn't have slapped you whatsoever, but you shouldn't have choked her. that's just part of being a man, learning to handle physical confrontations with women. it's a whole different playing field when it comes to that. imagine if that were your mom slapping a guy and he choked her. you wouldn't appreciate that very much, I'm sure. even if it were your girlfriend slapping a guy and he choked her, you'd be mad as hell (at least I hope). do you see what I'm saying?

i hope that helps you, man :/

trukita · Accepted Answer

It might be unfair, but society is way more accepting of women hitting their male partners than it is of men hitting their female partners. Yeah, she was hitting you and that is messed up. But retaliating (and seriously...choking? that's fu*ked up) physically was wrong on your part. You could have restrained her from hitting you without hurting her, you could have walked away, you could have done any number of things besides what you did. And slapping is not nearly as bad as choking. Apologize to her if she's worth it to her, and don't let history repeat itself.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Yes she might have been the one who got violent first, but in society men are viewed as to never hurt a woman. If you do then you are automatically viewed as the bad guy. You should have just walked away. If you still want to be with her she's most likely going to expect an apology. It might suck and you might think it's wrong, but that's how it goes. Try and talk to her about it. Not talking to her is only making the situation worse. Plus it helps to know if there was a good reason why she was slapping you to begin with.

BlackScottie · Accepted Answer

I feel that its very unfair for a woman to ever put her hands on a man. Period. I am a man and if women want to automatically claim that we are stronger than them, then they should at least be smart enough to not engage a man in physical contact ever. Whoopi Goldberg even said in an interview that she believes if a woman hits a man first it is his right to hit her back. Yes it was wrong to choke her but she is also in the wrong to slap you. If she puts her hands on you, you need to defend yourself by restraining her. For example holding her arms till she calms down... completely leaving by getting in the car... or literally running away if thats what the situation calls for. If she ever makes you that angry that you need to choke her, then you don't need to be together because thats not a healthy relationship and both of you need to see professionals.

Camilus · Accepted Answer

If you guys are not talking right now then I would say good, why would you want to be in a relationship with her?  Most people on here will automatically defend the girl in your situation but she had no right to get violent with you...I, personally, would not have choked her out, but people can only get beat about the face so long before they snap.  If you ever have a girl beating you like that again then I would suggest calling the police and just restraining her until they get there - it's not a weak move, it's a move so you can cover your own ass.

AmyHelen · Answer

Never, ever choke anyone... Don't you realise how dangerous that is? You could cause brain damage or even kill someone.  It doesn't matter if you didn't do it that long, you could still cause a lot of damage, you should of restrained her. She shouldn't of hit you but your reaction wasn't just juvenile, it was also very dangerous. Apologise for your actions but then tell her that you think she should apologise for hitting you. Don't try to turn it into an argument, just make it clear that you think you both made a mistake.

mustang99 · Answer

What!? Come on guy, you can't do that, if she starts slapping you just walk away, don't choke her. That's just like yelling at a baby cause they kept starring at you. You better hope she takes you back, I don't think she should, you don't hit a women.

gravygirl · Answer

Men are a lot stronger than women.  She shouldn't hit you, but the fact is you would win every fight.  Because of that physical inequity, men are held to a higher standard.  It's okay for you to restrain her if she's getting physical, but it's not okay for you to choke her.

Dela1111 · Answer

Unfortunately you are in the wrong. Guys and girls are different and are held to different standards and responsibilities. The same reason why a girl who has a lot of sex partners is considered a slut, and a guy isn't, is why she can hit you, and you can't her.

She is still wrong to have hit you in the first place, but really the only acceptable thing you could do was get out of there.

Its probably better that you aren't with each other anymore.

taylorlayneee14 · Answer

Yes, it was VERY wrong.

Especially since it was your girlfriend.

That has asshole written all over it.

You must have been doing something that made her slap you.

You're stronger than her, so you could have very easily killed her.

Serenading_by_night · Answer

You want her back? Apologize. It's a cheap shot, but do it. She'll apologize too. But yeah, you were totally wrong. Douche.

crazylady29sexyfine · Answer

Hmmm...this is a tough one...YES you were wrong for choking your girlfriend...granted she shouldn't hit you, but since your naturally stronger is automatically unfair

itachix · Answer

I think both of you are wrong no one should ever lay a finger on someone else, but of course you are even more because you could have handled that better just like Camilus  said you could have done.

valentin87 · Answer

wait for her to apologize, then it's your turn. you were right for defending yourself. don't let her hit you, but make sure you don't hurt her.

xxangel1990xx · Answer

You know you were wrong or you wouldn't be asking this question.

Curiuos-to-know · Answer

fcuk that p**** let me catch you do that sh*t watch who gets chocked this time

My girlfriend kept slapping me so I choked her up?

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