Guys, would you rather have a housewife, or a working wife?

[inamorata]

Presume:
A housewife will be a housewife your whole life together.

The working woman will be working until she retires as an old lady, after which you will be dead of old age (your whole life together).

Now I am simply talking about your preference here. There has to be one, even if only slight. Please pick one.

You can't reply with: "Whatever she wants."
Or begin a sentence with: "Considering (my) current financial..."

Thank you.

[Creole_Flavor]

I can feel like I'm not meant to be a housewife I didn't go to college for nothing I am career driven and I think a good man can appreciate a woman who brings something to the table kids don't stay kids forever my nanny was a working woman with one child when she met her husband and had 2 kids she was a housewife and when got old enough to go to school she went back to college what's the point of staying home and the kids are at school. Now she is a real estate agent and kids are damn near grown. A woman should be her man's backbone what if he gets sick or injured and you're sitting on your ass with no job and can't do anything. It's too risky.

[Anonymous]

I'd rather be a working wife unless I have kids. I'd like to be home with the kids for the first few years of their lives, but then go back to work. I wouldn't want to stay at home once they go to school. There's nothing wrong with the women who do, but I'd prefer to be working again. I want to do what my mom did. She stayed at home until my sister and I were in school, and then she went back to work.

[05Jueey]

"I wouldn't want to stay at home once they go to school. There's nothing wrong with the women who do, but I'd prefer to be working again." This is an admirable attitude

[aamy811]

I would have to work. When my kids think of me or describe me I would want to be more than a mom. Also being a stay at home SO seems hard and I'm not that patient ( especially if I carried the kid for a month). My SO would have tone the stay at home if we decide to have a stay at home parent

[kairon156]

so you wouldn't mind a stay at home husband?

[aamy811]

Not at all. If he's good with kids and wants to do it, and financially it makes sense then let's do it.

[jesseray]

I would prefer a housewife (provided that she cooks, cleans, and gets the kids off to school) and I would help out with the kids and other things around the house when I got off work. In this way, she can avoid corporate hell and have a relatively easy life and I would always be able to return to a clean home, cooked meal, and relatively unstressed wife. This allows the home to be a sanctuary for the both of us, instead of some "side job" that we both have to tend to once we are done with our main jobs.

This is only a preference though. If I fall in love with a woman who was set on corporate hell, then I would still take her for my wife.

[aamy811]

Brig a stay at home mom is very stressful. My mother was super stressed out her whole time staying at home

[jesseray]

In what ways was it stressful for your mother?

[05Jueey]

" I would always be able to return to a clean home, cooked meal, and relatively unstressed wife. This allows the home to be a sanctuary for the both of us, instead of some "side job" that we both have to tend to once we are done with our main jobs. " THIS is what so many people fail to understand!!! Lol

[Anonymous]

A housewife, naturally. Why would I want a wife who comes home after every workday just as stressed out as I am, who doesn't have the emotional energy to be a good mother or a good wife? No thanks.

[aamy811]

But yet it's cool if you came home with no energy to be a good husband or father?

[Opinion Owner]

Mothers and fathers serve different purposes. Men are providers and protectors and women are nurturers. I know it has become politically incorrect to acknowledge that but we all know it's true.

Children deserve to be raise by a parent, not a daycare worker who doesn't love them. They deserve a mother for whom they are her #1 priority. A father cannot provide the same kind of love and nurturing that a mother can.

It's about the kids, not you. It seems that fact is lost on a lot of women today, which is really sad.

[TheNewClassic]

Agreed. Great that there's still guys like that out there.

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks NewClassic. There are a lot of us, actually. Most guys see things like me but many have been convinced they had to settle for something less for their children and themselves. Thankfully that is changing today. Thanks for being one of the good ones.

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks for MHO.

[inamorata]

No problem. I'm grateful to all the answerers for their time, but figured I should award MH to someone who succinctly captures my perspective since I ought to award it sometime. ^^

[funkipunk]

This is simply not a black and white question. There's so many unmentioned variables which would affect my decision on this.

I think the most important factor would be whether or not we have children. If we have at least 2 young kids living in the house, I think it would make more sense for one of us to dedicate time towards maintaining the home. If we have no kids, or our kids have grown to a point where they don't need a significant level of care, then I don't think it's necessary for one of us to stay at home. Thus, it would make the most sense if we both were outside of the house with jobs.

[Anonymous]

That depends. If I'm working and don't make a lot. Then she better be working. If I'm not working and am a house husband, then she has to work. If I make a lot of money then I'll leave the decision up to her to make but if we have kids then whoever makes more money, in the likely hood that I make a lot of money then the odds are I am the one that makes more money, then I will stay at work and I would want her to be at home raising the kids and not at work and have someone else raise our baby... and in the unlikely event we win the lottery we can both stay home. This question isn't exactly black and white. But I would say the odds are I am more likely to want her to work than to stay at home.

[05Jueey]

You would stay home with the kids if your partner made more money?

[Opinion Owner]

If my partner made more money then it would only be logical for me to take paternity leave since me leaving would give us more money than if she were to leave. The only situation where this may not happen would be in a situation she makes more money than I do, but my potential earnings if I stay working are hire than her potential earnings. Like say she makes 45k and I make 35k but the job I have promotes from within and does so for those that don't take time off and are at work consistently and has an upward potential of 65-70k in 4-5 years, and her job 45k would be just about the highest she will get paid. Maybe 10-20 cent raise after several years but nothing drastic. Then she should stay at home and I go to work. Or if I make more money and her potential earnings are hire, then she stays working and I stay at home.

[Opinion Owner]

higher*

[wisdomtusk]

Working wife. Greater financial stability, I would respect her more, she wouldn't be a money-sink, and the devil finds work in idle hands. Also, I won't get chewed out about all the housework she does - very much dislike a woman's housework making me to appear lazy, to the point that I disallow women to cook for me or keep my living place.

[inamorata]

You can't have a housewife make you feel lazy about housework. It is her responsibility alone. If she nags about chores when she's a housewife, she's not really one, she's just lazy herself.

[wisdomtusk]

That's how I feel, but it housework seems to get greater street-cred among friends regardless. The benefit of the having someone to do this work does not merit this risk, to me.

[inamorata]

Risk of what? I'm sorry I can't understand your first sentence. ^^'

[05Jueey]

"to the point that I disallow women to cook for me or keep my living place." Aww sounds like you're missing out. But whatever floats your boat

[Bluemax]

If I can't reply with "Whatever she wants," then I suppose I can't reply.

I will ask this. How attractive do you think a man would be to women of marrying age (we'll say between the ages of 30 to 40) if he stated up front he aspires to be a househusband?

My late wife and I both are career people, but we had no children so I suppose that's a great factor.

[inamorata]

If a woman who wants him to be a househusband, he'd be attractive to her. If a woman doesn't want one, he wouldn't be I suppose.

[luna33]

Am a working mom, I like it that way. I wouldn't change it if my husband ask me to stay at home, i like to be financially independent, to be able to make decisions or do whatever I want without having to ask for money, unless is really necessary. We help each other with our kids and all expenses. Am glad we support each other that way. And that he respect my decisions.

I want to work until I retire and many more years if possible.

[MrScTi]

You seem like a normal, sensible person when you answer questions. It's strange to see around these parts.

[luna33]

Thank you :)

[Anonymous]

I would prefer a stay home wife as I would like to be the one to pay for the mortgage, put food on the table and most of all show that I am a man that can provide for his wife and kids I don't really like the idea of a woman being my equal from a financial perspective or having a career but if she wants to work then I'm not totally against it but I just want to be proud that a women is with a man that can take care of her and the kids

[05Jueey]

This makes me melt (in a platonic way LOL). This is so refreshing to read.. my boyfriend seems to feel the same

[why_not_anonymous]

Split. It'd be nice if she were working (working women are more interesting, there's some good articles about this online), and in case something happens to me, it's imperative that the (potential) wife have something to fall back on.

And it would be nice if she were able to stay home with the kids (or if I were able to), while they're young.

Such a disjunct in a woman's career, however, really cuts down on her career growth and earnings potential. So, it's tough to call on. Also, unless you're marrying 18yos, it's likely that the woman you date/marry is going to have at least some work experience. So it's more the question of whether you ask her to stop working, or if she just hates working (not a good look).

Maybe if I were making big bank, I wouldn't care if I got myself a gold-digger/lazy woman.

[inamorata]

Care to find and link some articles? I can't find them.
Thanks.

[why_not_anonymous]

Here's one:
www.slate.com/.../a_working_girl_can_win.html

Hits many of the points I've seen. But I think it was a book I was reading? Can't find it right now, hit me in September.

[inamorata]

Wait, you think all housewifes are lazy and/or golddiggers?

[why_not_anonymous]

Nope. But, lazy women and gold-diggers are of a higher percentage in housewifery than in jobs that they can be fired from (divorce is a method of firing, but it's quite an expensive termination package.

[05Jueey]

My bf wants me to be a stay at home mom, and so do I. It's what I believe will work best for us

[inamorata]

It's nice that you're happy. ^.^

[OnWednesdaysWearPink]

I cod honestly care less about what he wants me t do with my life it's my life. If I wanna work. I'm gonna work.
Maybe I don't want to stay home taking care of five hundred kids financially depending on a guy.
I'm not a toy.

[05Jueey]

Stay at home moms aren't toys. Its a decision the couple makes together

[inamorata]

A toy? Well that's a gross statement. Dx

[yaddayaddayadda02]

Housewife without a doubt. It's the best situation to raise children

[shiiinyiga]

working wife, as partners i think its both of your responsibility to bring money into the house... in the modern world i think its wrong for the woman to think its okay to just rely on the mans wage, and it puts added stress on the man aswell which in turn makes his life shorter... lifes about going through the journey together so they should both bear the responsibilitys... that said i also think the man should help around the house

[shiiinyiga]

if you think about it, say for instance a guy is bringing in 30,000 a year, through their life their gona struggle, ya know they will get buy but probably won't have many nice things etc... but if the woman gets a job and brings in the same money, thats 60,000 a year and they would live very comfortably and be able to afford a lot of the things they want / save a lot more for the future... just makes a lot more sence to me, house work dosent exactly take that much time, its not a full time job in my opinion, and id say bringing in money is worth only cleaning the house once a week say rather than everyday or whatever house wives do with all there time

[inamorata]

Arguments for the traditional arrangement I heard were:
-Less stress on the wife, makes also happier husband (not more money)
-Vitality of a 24/7 mother for the children
-Better attraction (she feels more feminine, he more masculine when roles are divided)
-A housewife saves money on workers you'd hire if she worked, while combining it with above and doing a better job because it's her home and her family

Arguments for a working wife:
-Woman wants her freedom and equality in all things in their life together
-Husband wants not to feel like she depends on him because it's too much
-More money (though most people I know have to, just to get by, not for wanting extra)

[shiiinyiga]

a few of those points are fair enough especially the attraction one, though the saving money on workers i dont understand... what workers do you need in your house lol? just because the two are working dosent mean they bring in people to tidy the house etc... in my house the way it worked was my parents fitted tidying / maintaining the house in between working, raising children, eating, sleeping, not to get other people to do those things for you haha... say you both work 9-5 mon-fri... so what if you have to come home n start cooking dinner, tidy the house for an hour (p. s the house dosent need cleaned daily in my opinion) ... put the kids in a nursery/school/college and if things needed fixed my dad would do it at the weekend... just because the two are working dosent mean they can't still maintain the house and raise children on top of that. that just seems lazy to me to think youd need to bring in a cleaner/nanny/handy man. sack up and do it yourself lol, its not that hard a life

[inamorata]

That argument only goes for career people who work a lot. My family has a lot of couples who are doctors both. They have to hire. They aren't lazy, they just have no time. I was talking about them.
They are doctors, but if one of them stopped working and took on the housework they hire people to do, their kids would get to see them more and they would actually save money. But I guess it's a sacrifice people make when they love their jobs so much.

[05Jueey]

Would you really go so far to say it's WRONG for the woman to stay home? The way I think of it, the woman has her responsibilities and the man has his. Some of us are more comfortable that way, succeeding at what we are passionate about. It's like anything, everyone can have their role

[Anonymous]

My mom works from home.. self employed, so she was able to take care of me, the house and her work

[inamorata]

That sounds very cool, may I ask what she does?

[Opinion Owner]

Graphic designer

[Creole_Flavor]

Cool i'm a graphic designer and I work from home also I have though about the advantages of being able to be at home when I have kids

[Opinion Owner]

Tough to get shit done... depending on how many kids you wind up having. I'm an only child so it was relatively easy for her... I was a good kid too, for the most part

[Anonymous]

Housewife. If the woman doesn't see you as socially superior to her, she will not respect you, and eventually cheat/divorce/both.

Haters gonna hate, it's still true

[Cleveland]

Aawww not always true I tell ya:)

[inamorata]

Cleveland I'd like to think so too since I can't imagine losing attraction to a guy just because he doesn't have a job, but from what I've seen and heard about marriages, it is true for the vast majority of us. It's female nature.

Now, Opinion Owner, can you please tell me, if this was not a factor. What would you want? I am only talking about YOUR preference, not female nature.

Thanks.

[aamy811]

That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard. Hahaha

[Keyspirits]

I think housewife is also vulnerable to cheating cuz she can invite doods over while ur not home huehue

[Diffrent]

Honestly, that whole reply wasn't needed. I'm sure you anon'd yourself cause somewhere inside you know what you're saying is complete bs and just want a reaction. You're not dumb for it, just plain ignorant to whats true of having a wife. While you think superiority is something you need, I think real love, a foundation, and something holding you two together is whats true of modern day couples. While I respect you're thoughts. I just offer some advice to you. Google how to answer what you don't understand

[Opinion Owner]

"Now, Opinion Owner, can you please tell me, if this was not a factor. What would you want? I am only talking about YOUR preference, not female nature."

If divorce/cheating hypothetically wasn't an issue, I'd still say housewife. I want one of us to be the caretaker of the home, and while I could definitely pull off the job excellently and have a lot of fun doing so, it just wouldn't feel right having a woman earn the money.

"I'm sure you anon'd yourself cause somewhere inside you know what you're saying is complete bs and just want a reaction."

I anon myself to avoid angry emails from people like yourself.

[Creole_Flavor]

Actually a man is most likely to cheat on a woman who is career driven because she might make more money and he will feel like less of a man I refuse to not have career. women can have it all if men didn't think that we should have these gender roles like the dark ages

[DodgersGM]

Well, really I'd want her to do what makes her happiest, but if we had young children, then I'd want her to stay at home and be with the kids while I worked to provide.

[kairon156]

why does she have to die before me? I hope to live to be 100 :P

I think relationships should be as close to 50/50 as reasonable this includes saving up for things like a house, paying bills, and earning the abilitty to enjoy our downtime. Having a working wife will also mean she won't be a drain on my income and we could save up money and perhaps go on vacation together every now and than.

how would you feel about a stay at home husband?

[inamorata]

Me personally?
No. Would not like to reverse the gender roles. I'm too feminine to be attracted to a man who would enjoy such a role.

[05Jueey]

Agree completely asker

[KBob93]

I want to work all I feel pushed to while I'm a bachelorette. I look forward to being a housewife after. <3

[thegreatone7]

I would want my wife to work for some years after our marriage and then as i am dominant and want my wife to besubmissiveb, want her to quit the job forvour baby.

[NightmareBarbieDoll]

I want to be a housewife since I'm actually a good cook and I learn fast. I also clean often, and kids seem to naturally like me. I would be willing to get a part-time job, though, but not full-time. I want a dominant man, to be honest.

[TheEnding]

I'd say a housewife. It's a slight preference though, as I don't care too much. But yeah, housewife. I guess I like the idea of being the "man of the house" and having someone to come home to.

[Tractorbeam]

Stay-at-home wives are high on the list of cheaters, something I'd wish to avoid.
Apart from that, they could be OK.

[inamorata]

Holy ****, how much housewife p*rn do you guys watch?
No, a woman who stays at home is not more likely to cheat because she doesn't interact with other men as much as the one who works does. The only two women I know cheated on their husbands in my medium sized town were working women. Most cheating takes getting to know one another and at work there are power hierarchies in place that contribute to sexual attraction.
What's next? Lets stop hiring repairmen because women in p*rn hump those as well?

Seriously... -_-

[Tractorbeam]

According to the statistics, they are more likely to cheat than a lot of women who have occupations.
There are some high-risk occupations I would avoid too.

[Anonymous]

I want a house-man because i'll be a lawyer very soon and thats a fact that i can't change.

[GrowStrong]

working wife so we have more money. also so she would have some independence

[dx021]

i want a traditional housewife that works part time

[Trustme_Im-lying]

Working wife. i can hire a maid, yah know.
Anyway, i prefer managerial position for her or handling/managing our own business.

[inamorata]

Planning on having kids?

[Trustme_Im-lying]

ofcourse im planning for 2 boys, im single tho. lol. if you're interested ill tell you my master plan for the ten years of my life. :)

[05Jueey]

How can you plan the genders?

[Trustme_Im-lying]

Because I like it to be boys. Hoping for something better than waiting you know...

[Prof_Don]

Working wife!

The more income, the less overall stress in the marriage.

Plus she gets to feel fulfilled by working (I heard a lot of housewives battle depression due to 'lack of purpose ' in life by not working)

[inamorata]

I heard the opposite in fact. That housewifes are happier and working women get depressed. =/

[luna33]

Agree with Prof_Don.

[MrScTi]

QA is obviously traditional (so I'll step away) but you made a good point.

[inamorata]

MrScTi I have no biases here. I'm honestly asking people and want to know their point of view. That's all.

[05Jueey]

I definitely can appreciate the fact that many housewives in history have felt trapped and depressed and stuck. I would hate that for anyone, and it's obvious to understand why they felt that way. But in some cases, women are more happier at home, taking control of the house and such, and caring for the babies, which sounds ideal

[25man]

A working wife. Because she thinks less and is more practical about things.

[NZDSTR]

She can work I'll stay home as I can work from home at times too. Makes more sense than us both staying home

[Anonymous]

Definitely a working wife. I don't want her mooching off of my money and not working

[jointhepatriarchy]

The only way I'd pick the working lady over the housewife is if I get to be the househusband and never have to work again.

[inamorata]

If a woman offered you that, would you pick her over the lady who wants to be your housewife?

[jointhepatriarchy]

Yes, definitely. But if she's like, "Just because I make more money than you doesn't mean I should pay the bills! Nag nag nag!" Then yeah, I'll take a submissive housewife instead.

[inamorata]

Maybe you misunderstood, she can't say she won't pay the bills. She earns alone. You don't. You just take care of the house and kids. That manner of nagging is impossible.

[jointhepatriarchy]

That sounds like a dream come true for me. Will never happen though.

[inamorata]

I know I may be trolling my own topic by asking this completely separate question, but: What's with the picture? What does it mean (to you)?

[jointhepatriarchy]

It symbolizes women's dependency on men from which I believe they will never escape.

[inamorata]

Don't you think that's a redundant statement as no human can ever escape dependency on anyone?
The only independence there is equals death.

[jointhepatriarchy]

You're right, and there is a dependence on women by a lot of men. I think men are carrying a heavier burden though to be brutally honest.

[inamorata]

You mean tougher jobs in the workforce? Lack of choice to be a househusband?

[jointhepatriarchy]

Yes, exactly. I have to freaking log when I'd much rather be a stay-at-home dad.

[ledfoot64]

a housewife that does everything naked in the home

[inamorata]

I wouldn't recommend kitchen nudity to anyone. xD

[ledfoot64]

that includes cooking naked i hate clothes on in the home on me and my wife

[kairon156]

what about cooking naked but with just a full apron?

[Creole_Flavor]

Naked breakfast and dinner lol

[ledfoot64]

no apron kairon
yes naked breakfast and supper and naked snack

[inamorata]

Poor ledfoot's wife. =O

[ledfoot64]

it not poor me sometime wife does sit and do house work naked

[Anonymous]

Housewives are better

[plume]

A woman I love and not bossy like you.

[inamorata]

A woman you love and not me?
And why are you saying I'm bossy?
What? O. o

[inamorata]

Only in my topic?
You are confusing me plume person. =/

[plume]

You 're on the wrong comment^^

[Anonymous]

working wife. someone has to earn money.

[inamorata]

You wish to be a househusband then?

[Baegal]

lol people

[Anonymous]

A sex wife.

[Anonymous]

both, housewife and in thesame time a working wife

[inamorata]

You mean you wish her to work part time, while also taking care of the home?

[plume]

He wants a nerdy wife he can cheat on easily.

[inamorata]

Well that horrible. =(

[plume]

That is what happens when some people feel they have the choice^^

[plume]

... Only in your topic^^

[Opinion Owner]

Loool that's exactly what I mean plume