My girlfriend has sex with someone old enough to be her dad?

[productxp1]

Basically I've been seeing my girlfriend around 6 months now, and I've only just found out that last year when she was traveling Europe with her friend they ended up chatting to two men, one being around 28 and the other being around 40, basically the two men were on a business trip and had a very post hotel apparently, the two guys got chating with my girlfriend and her friend and eventually took them back to the hotel, this is when it gets messed up they both got into bed with the guy they were getting with, my girlfriend was in bed with the 40 year old man and they ended up having sex, infront of her mate and his mate and they were watching for a very long time apparently, she told me they had sex basically everywhere in the hotel room, bathroom etc , and this went on for hours, since she's told me this it keeps going through my head every time she trys to get intimate with me she told me this while we were on a road trip to germany, staying in different hotels along the way at the last day shed get a flight home and id drive to work, but since she's told me i can't stop thinking about it , it disgustes me she's about 5 ft and he apparently was a really big man , it just makes me sick to even think of them together or some old guy touching her and doing stuff like that especially because it went on for hours and it was infront of two people , one being a complete randomer , she told me she had respect for herself * not having any one night stands etc ( but since this every time we start having sex I've started not being able to keep my erections , and this was really bad considering i won't be able to see her for 8 months untill i finish work and it was the last 3 days i got to see her so we havnt had real sex. which makes me think bad of myself like its all my fault for being stupid to over think things but its disgusting thinking about what she told me and i can't get it out of my head, she even said shed do it again if she was single, makes me sick

[LittleSally]

Hmmmmm...
I doubt she has self respect. . .
And she told you all of this herself? As in she's proud of it? What for?

Oh man... and you can't forget about this and it's affecting your sex life? I think you'r moral values are getting in the way of you sleeping with her again after the things she told you.
She isn't done 'partying' and sleeping around with different people, while you obviously have a problem with this. If she said she would do this again then she's obviously been thinking about it... A LOT.

Talk to her about your feelings and about how you feel about the whole situation. How it's affecting you - physically and mentally. Try to not attack her, just simply explain yourself. See if she can make it better somehow - with something she says. Although, if she says she's proud of it, would do it again (if she says this again) theeeeeen... you're probably not going to feel any better but worse.
It's a gamble, but you have to try and talk your feelings out. And soon.

[productxp1]

meaning if she was single she doesn't see anything wrong with sleeping with him if she seen him again apaprently he was very appaealing to her , i just think its sick and dirty. and puts me off her massively knowing shed get with an old man if we wernt together.

[LittleSally]

Well tell her this. But don't use the words like 'sick' or 'dirty'...
Say something like 'inappropriate' or 'worrying'...

Talk to her otherwise this will eat away at you until you explode and yell at her all kinds of nasty stuff and you end up breaking up in the craziest of ways...

[productxp1]

i have spoke to her and made her realise how dirty it was for her to get with someone that old. he was probably married with kids and she wouldn't of even known about it , this was before we got together but it still makes me sick , she's todl me she realises how bad it was now she had a think about it and wouldn't do it again even when single , tbh i dont really belive that but i might still have a problem with having sex with her because of it...

[LittleSally]

If you already had a problem with this before the relationship - why did you get into a relationship with her in the first place?

Now you know it really bothers you.
Her past obviously bothers you more and more every day - hence she may not be the woman for you.

[pr3ttybr0wn]

she shouldn't have told you. now its made you insecure and jealous. that's why you don't bring up old partners in detail. your not one of the girls, ur her bf and she shouldn't have let you hear that.

however her past is her past. why try to make her feel bad for it? did she hurt anyone or is it something you just don't want to think about? im sure she could judge a girl you've slept with too

[Jager66]

If this is bothering so much it's probably time to end the relationship, you guys obviously have VERY different values and because of that will likely have a really hard time making things work.

Also, if she did that once she has or likely will continue to do it in the future, when she travels she apparently abandons all her principals something to think about.

[productxp1]

this was before we got together but its still in the back of my head making me not able to have sex with her. i just think she's like " dirty " and not for me if shed do something like that

[Jager66]

Yeah I think I understand what your saying, I'm not judging you or her only stating that healthy relationships require those involved to share similar values, especially concerning the big things in life like sex for example. Your two are obviously worlds apart in this area and it's never a good idea to sacrifice your values for someone. Such is dating life, if it was easy everyone would be paired off by the age of 14.

[productxp1]

so you think i should end it because she had sex with an old guy a year ago before she even met me , i just think im the one who has the problem because i can't get it out of myhead and im the one that couldnt finish the sex because of it...

[Jager66]

I'm saying you need to decide if this is a big issue for you or not. Judging by the effects it's having on your erections I'd say it's a HUGE fucking deal to your subconscious but ultimately it's just a choice you need to make one way or the other.

No right or wrong answer here, only what you decide is best for you.

[heavensgift2girls]

She shouldn't be talking to you about her past like that. That is most likely what your real problem is, and not the age of the guy. I don't think there should be a problem with her being with an older guy. There are lots of 40 year old people that are really hot. She does need to learn to keep her mouth shut about her past.

[productxp1]

i sorta asked becuase she was talking about traveling this year and i was liek that didn't go so well last year did it ! and we got deeper and deeper into the subject untill i couldnt listen to her anymore , and now we have the sex problem.

[heavensgift2girls]

Don't ask her about her sex life anymore. Likewise she should know better than to tell you when you ask. Don't talk about her sex life anymore, and eventually you should get over it.

[dev765]

You should have ended this relationship long ago.

[productxp1]

i only found out 5 days ago , and it happened before we got together

[dev765]

Oh ok but I honestly I would break up with her because she has no self respect. However this is your decision to make.

[getoutofmyway]

haha so did she say he was good?