So how do I confess being a "catfish" to the guy I'm in love with?

[Anonymous]

About 4, almost 5 years ago, I met a guy online via MySpace. At first I just wanted to talk to my crush as a different person (i. e. the fake persona.) but one thing led to another and he introduced me to his friend E. E supposedly thought the fake picture of me was cute and asked me out. At first we didn't click and I thought this is not going anywhere so who cares? I was even going to break up with him, but about a month in I actually started liking him and he liked me. (I should mention that the only thing that was fake about me was my photos.) And soon enough we fell in love. We've been "dating" on and off for 4 years. And I've tried leaving him alone so he can move on with his life, but he claims to love me and only me. And just recently he asked me to move in with him, but I can't stand hurting him anymore. So how would I tell him about me being someone completely different than the girl in the photos.

I know what I did was extremely terrible and awful, so try to refrain from lecturing me, please. I know my wrongs. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

I would definitely say tell him. Coming from someone who was catfished for 9 mouths tell him. I can't imagine 4 years of catfishing that's so wrong ikno how it feels to be catfished , I fell in love with my catfish im 21 with 2 babies i never been in love till her and if you knew me you would never ever think someone like me would fall prey because im the type to always Skype girls and expose fakes. You are litterly taking away from his life. When I was being catfished I dropped the chance to get back with with my daughters mom to be with my catfish also the dropped the chance to be with my highschool sweetheart which was really big moment to pick "Amanda" my catfish over her and that's when I really knew I had fallen in love with my catfish. So 9 mouths later turns out she's fake. I'm left with nothing now the two people that loved me want nothing to do with me anymore. lmao the first time in my life being loyal was to a catfish wow. What you are doing is wrong and heart/life breaking you should be ashamed if your self, sorry I'm being hard but like I said I been through it. You are lying and being deceitful don't say you really care and love him and don't won't to hurt him because that's a lie idc if Iddon't know the whole story. I was with my catfish for about 3 mouths and got locked up for a month. My highschool sweet heart bailed me out. When I went to jail I had been keeping a lie from my catfish , I never told her I had two babies. But I loved her so much and really wanted to be with her and not break her heart when I got out I confessed it all to her. My highschool sweet heart who bailed me out and wanted to be with me I told her I was taken by someone else I choose my catfish over a real girl that loved me. Confess to him whatyour doing is wrong the sooner the better. When my catfish told me who she really was on Skype which I been begging her for 4 months to do you actually looked good. But she lied and I fallen in love with the girl in the pic.

[rjroy3]

Open with "I need to tell you something and I'm afraid you'll think less of me".
Then tell him.

I hope you look at least somewhat like the fake pictures. It'll be easier if you do. Guys are very visual and on top of you lying to him for so long. It's really going to depend on what he wants to do.

I think he'll forgive you, but that's me.

[Asker]

Thanks for your comment!

[Anonymous]

Ok, so I have been a catfish for about 10 years and I never meant for it to ever ever get this far. I used fake pictures and fake name but I have always emailed this guy and would even talk to him on the phone. I wanted to en it long long ago, bit he said he loved me so much and well, I got so caught up in it I couldn't get back out. I tried and he eventually realized that I may be catfishing him, so he started asking things about me and he wanted to find me so I tried ending it long ago. Now I am just depressed and have anxiety because I didn't know what would happen if he did find out I was lying. I never meant anything bad by this online relationship. I do want to come clean, but I don't know if I can get in trouble for being a catfish. I mean, like I said I have never asked for anything or been a threat. What do I do? I just think that lying and trying g to cover that lie up with another lie is going to make things worse. I just don't want my family to find out either. Ah, this is eating me up inside just being scared all of th time wondering if he will find out who I really am. I am not skinny like the girl in the pictures. Please, what do I do? Help and advice anyone?

[somgirl]

I'm struggling with a similar problem...
I catfished a group of people in my discord group chat the people I still talk to are my bff and my ex that i dated when i was catfishing... I really want to come clean, but I'm scared they will hate me... I thought about just not sending a picture of the girl I'm pretending to be for a long time, until they forget the face, then I'd send them the real me, if they would say anything ill come clean. But I don't know if I can live with this any longer... I'm tired of lying to them..

[Wrichika]

im also struggling the similar problem now.. im more like an introvert im not good with making friends nor dating, i have family problems, i have anxiety i wanted to have fun and meet someone so went to a dating site okcupid while i was signing in i was insecure so literally fake everything about me i fake being Japanese well im 1/4 japanese in real life i have many lies but some is true but mostly everything is fake including my pic i started to chat with different people i was happy and at the same time guilty its still a month since i catfish im chatting with a japanese boy now he was kind sweet we were chatting in instagram now but im still being a fake he wanted to meet up i was so stressed and i unintentionally said yes i got even more guilty since i can't meet up with him im not in japan i came clean i never ask anything i just want someone to love/be friends with me but i choose the wrong path i should have been honest im so guilty i wanted to confess what im doing but im scared he will hate me i was even guilty since he was so exited to meet me tomorrow he already planned everything for our meet up he even got a reservation in an Italian restaurant in Shinjuku how can i confess to him im so guilty for bailing and catfishing him he was so kind he didn't deserve what im doing to him i want to end it but i got caught up to it. But I don't know if I can live with this any longer. im filled with guilt now I'm tired of lying to him he dont deserve what i did... i really want to confess but i dont know how... its only been a month but i lied about everything... its like im a non existing person while chatting with him.. i want to end it but im scared and i think karma is the one who will punish me...

[Wrichika]

i just wanted to fit in to be loved but i choose the wrong path im disgusted of myself for what im doing
i decided to confess now but i dont know what to say

[BlueMarvin]

Wow I really think you should come clean, I think maybe you should arrange to go to place maybe a quiet park or coffee place and sit down and explain yourself and come clean. He has the option to forgive you or forget you and you need to accept either or but you can't keep hiding eventually he is going to get tired and give up or you are, you need to confess or move on.

[Asker]

Thanks so much! I will definitely consider this. :)

[BlueMarvin]

Sorry if I sounded harsh but for both your sake and his. I feel like at this point you two are just playing cat and mouse right now and it would be better for everyone if you confessed

[Asker]

Yeah, I totally agree. I really wish I had confessed earlier or just left him alone altogether, but I don't want this to go on any further. I think we're better off with others,

[harakiri]

Well, you have to tell him... You can... apologize in advance and then make your statement, similar to what you posted here... I think that this is a pretty big breach of trust, I'm not sure if it'll work out or not tbh. How did you guys date purely online? I didn't know what was a thing.

In what way are you different than the girl in the photos?

[Asker]

Well we texted and called each other. We just never met in person. The fake MySpace account was used just to talk to this guy I had a crush on before I met E, so I used a random photo I found online, and I guess the girl in the photo caught E's attention and that was the start of this whole fiasco.

[harakiri]

Oh, I understand it better now... well, this is kind of an awkward question, but kind of important. Would you say you are less, equally, or more attractive than the girl in the picture?

[Asker]

Well I think we have some of the same face qualities: we both have black hair, and are about the same skin complexion (pale). She has green eyes, but mine are brown. But overall, I think we're about the same.

[harakiri]

I see, that's... good. I think if you're just as attractive as her, then the catfishing won't be -as- problematic as it would have been if you were significantly different-looking. i'm so surprised that he asked you to move in with him without meeting, that strikes me as very strange... but perhaps my ideas about love are more linear... i really hope it works out for you. 4-5 years is like a 1/5 of his life, your life too... hopefully he'll take that into consideration before doing something rash.

[Asker]

I know, it surprised me as well. It was somewhat random. I think the main reason is that he feels rejected by his family and others. I just don't want to hold him back from living his life either.

[harakiri]

i see. well once you tell him the truth, he can decide what he wants to do... either you two step forward together or you part ways. you won't be holding him back by being honest.

[Asker]

Thanks for comments! :) They were very helpful!

[harakiri]

No problem, update us if you can :)

[Asker]

Most definitely. :)

[Bilbo_Swaggins]

I know this is old, but I'm curious as to what happened.

[Kitkatt99]

@Bilbo_Swaggins I do too!

[Kitkatt99]

How DID it turn out?

[DontDropIt]

You just gotta tell him straight up... Usually these things don't turn out so well.. If he loves you he'll eventually look past it but you did lie to him so idk..

[Asker]

Yeah, well either way I think he deserves someone better.

[DontDropIt]

good luck

[Asker]

Thank you!

[megmasweg]

just tell him the truth. he might hate you and he might forgive you and still love you, depends if he fell in love with your personality or looks. but its better to love and lost than to have never loved at all, so if he hates you for that, be happy that he loved you and at least you told the truth.. good luck XD by the way look for the right time to tell him maybe when his kinda sad or heart broken

[DodgersGM]

Wow, that's a pretty intense little situation all the way around.

I guess with this kind of thing you just gotta rip off the ban-aid, so to speak. Just tell him about, apologize for it and take complete responsibility for it, and tell him that you hope he can forgive you because he means a lot to you. At that point you just leave it to him and respect whatever decision that he makes.

[Gigiginevra]

Tell him.
I just confessed to the guy I cstfished for a year
You will feel reliefed after.
It will hurt a lot but better than living with the burden of such a lie.
He told me it was fine we can still be together but after an hour he ssid that it feels wrong and we should break up ):
I totally understand him tho
I wish I could turn back time and never lie to him

[kheserthorpe]

Tell him.

Odds are that ends things but there is a chance it doesn't.

[Anonymous]

You have to confess, and then leave it up to him, if he can forgive it..

[Asker]

Thanks!

[Seety]

You drop hints & ask him how he would react if u were secretly a old women or fat or just describe ur real self & just expect it

[Anonymous]

what fool falls in love with someone he hasn't even met rofl lmao what a lame lol

[findingdreamland]

You just have to tell. That is the only solution.

[Asker]

Okay. Thanks.

[CommieDearest]

You're just going to have to tell him.

[Asker]

Yeah, I will.

[MaskofInsanity]

Tell him what you said here and hope for the best.

[Asker]

Thank you!

[MaskofInsanity]

No worries. Good luck!

[Asker]

Thanks again!

[dudeman]

Like a band aid just do it

[Anonymous]

Any men watch catfish on here?