What you consider clingy others will not. I have had clingy girlfriends and one many years ago was literally exploding my phone nonstop when I wouldn't reply.
My last one was clingy and wanted to hang out so much to the point where I had to argue about getting a load of laundry done. It became too much. She'd want to hang out way too much and the pressure was all on me with her having no car. I was losing gas like nuts and she couldn't reimburse me really. I was lucky to get 10 bucks outta her for gas. That was nothing compared to what I was doing commute-wise. Worst of all was her rambling for minutes on end and me trying to get a word in was "interrupting." Clingy people get irrational. Now I spot clinginess really fast.
I was hooking up with one girl and she was dissecting my day down to the minute practically. She was forcing herself onto me. It sounds great at first. But when you have this feeling that someone's so fixated on you to the point where they need to know your every move, it is a really creepy feeling.
Nowadays I do have this feeling that girls have been called clingy when they weren't and now feel the need to keep a distance for fear of that word. But in reality, clinginess is real, but those cases are extreme.
The internet, television, magazines, and all sorts of media have brainwashed people into thinking it's the absolute worst crime in the dating world to be "clingy". Even the term that they have dubbed this type of behavior is cringeworthy. Sure, there are always extremes, but most people nowadays want to quickly jump to the conclusion that someone is clingy just because they really like them and want to spend a lot of time with them, when this is the most natural thing in the world. It causes people to be self-conscious about their behavior, which could prevent them from doing or acting like they normally would in a dating relationship, ultimately leading to relationship failure.
An ex of my cousin:
10: My cousin wakes up - Two texts from girlfriend saying good morning.
Lets pretend his phone dies and he can't respond for a few minutes.
10:05 - Four messages from girlfriend worrying
Cousin responds with hi.
10:06 - Girl asks him how he is
Cousin goes for a jog after saying good.
10:45 - Fifty texts and call from girlfriend wondering where the fuck he is.
That is clingy.
Cousin tries to dump her. She goes over to his house and gets on her knees and begs him not to dump her. She kisses his feet.
That is clingy.
Not what you stated.
By the way Asker, you are gonna hate me for this but I agree with @Wondorous
me and my boyfriend are clingy we spend every spare moment together and never get tired of each other but I think that if we ever did need space we'd be able to give that space for a while because we care about each other. That said we do both have our own interests and sometimes our interests merge we are still independent with work and stuff obviously we just love being around each other... and sometimes literally cling to each other hahaha You just need to find someone who is clingy too and find a balance!
Haha well that's exactly how I am and I found someone like that already. Distance is the only issue :(
ohh no that's the worst I can't imagine we get separation anxiety after two days appart haha I'm so sorry I truly wish that in the future that you both can live together! That sounds super hard!
Yea it is quite painful >_< but we love each other so we'll make it work :)
ahh that sucks but love is what really counts you can pull through!
I think sometimes it just depends on the person.
Very simple and short answer but true. I guess the overly clingy people just give the normal loving/affectionate ones like us a bad name.
True. And thanks for the MHO! (:
Opinion
5Opinion
I'm clingy girl and I love having a clingy guy. But there are its limits. "Too clingy" for me is when everywhere you go together, he has to be all up on you at all times, you have to report at all times where you are and what you're doing with who for how long. When pretty much you just feel sufficated by them. In order to be missed by someone, you have to allow them to miss you. Time apart is really good for relationships. So i mean yeah, space is needed every now and then. And usually when you ask for space, they understand. But some people are so clingy that they keep on doing it even more than before. But on a calm level of clingy, I like it.
I'm just not a clingy person... I'm busy pursuing three careers, and I like a lot of time to myself. It doesn't mean I love any less or that they should be worried about if I'd cheat.
The careers I'm pursuing could involve me traveling on location for a certain amount of time, I don't need or want someone who will freak out if they don't see me for two days.
The attention may be great but super annoying, everyone needs their space, distance, trust & what not. Ain't nothing wrong with lots of attention and love but sometimes too much can smoother you. I get what you're saying though about not worrying about cheating or being bored.
-They get easily jealous.
-At some point, it's stalkerish.
Another reason that other answerers haven't brought up yet is that there's no challenge. I get bored very easily & when someone is clingy, I take them for granted & I don't respect them as much.
- You have little personal time/privacy
- Feeling someone is that emotionally dependent on you is pressurising/ draining
- It's hard to respect someone so dependent
- comes across as desperate/ makes you feel disgusted to even be associated with them
- irritating having someone hover over you 24/7
- often hand in hand with possessiveness, jealousy and controlling behaviour
- quickly feel suffocated by them/ they are so dependent on you it's like you are trapped in the relationship/ a break up would be a big deal full of confrontations which I like to avoid
- I NEED SPACE STOP FUCKING TEXTING ME DONT YOU HAVE ANYTHING ELSE GOING ON IN YOUR LIFE (just me venting)
Yeah... soz I just hate clingy people. That said one person's clingy might just be normal for someone else.
I myself used to be clingy. And I had an ex who was the same way. Looking back on it, I truly believe that every living being is deserving of space.
I think different people want to spend more time with their S. O. more than others. They also need affection more than others. When these people date someone who isn't like them, the S. O. finds them clingy, but it could just be they are not compatible.
I just find it annoying because I'm independent and I can't stand having someone hover over me. They tend to be come real naggy and it's like they ALWAYS need attention. A clingy guy will turn me off INSTNATLY.
I'm not talking about a nagging clinger, I just mean one that treats you like you're his everything 24/7. Makes you feel wanted/needed and special. Kisses you, touches you, hugs you all the time. Gives you love and affection.
I don't want to be treated like I'm his everything. That probably means there's nothing outside of me or not much else for him to focus on as goals and ambitions. That would just put a lot of pressure on me. I'm so turned off by clinginess. I can't stand it. There are plenty of guys who can do all of those things without being clingy.
I'm clingy but I have many goals and plans that I am pursuing. I have a stable job and I have goals and dreams and talents. I think clinginess stems from people who don't place emphasis on having lots of friends and being very social. I guess us clingy people get our fill of social attention from one person in bulk rather than going out drinking with like 7 friends.
Umm.. now? Can you point out something I said that lead you to believe that? The purpose of this is to investigate exactly what it is about clingy people that is disliked. If something is said that isn't true (about me since I'm clingy) then naturally I'll counter the statement.
now = no*
Ok well I'll tell you that you're wrong, I'm talking about clingy as in always gives you attention/needs attention and I only dismissed some things you said like "always nagging" like... I don't nag unless there's a good reason and most non-clingy people would do the same.
I'm not assuming you're talking about me... I'm saying that you're generalizing all clingy people to do the same things like the "nagging" statement.
Ok first of all... put in your tampon because you are leaking menstrual fluids. Secondly I don't know why you keep trying to make it as if I'm trying to change things to fit me in. I'm just saying that your reasons for hating clingy people are extreme generalizations. It's like me saying that I hate sports fanatics because they are all really loud and drink too much. There are shy/quiet sports fanatics too. That's all I was saying but for some reason you are just looking for an argument and claiming that I'm trying to force people to like clingy people? WTF
"Put in my tampon"... that reply because I was honest about you with the way you look? GROW UP.
Women probably don't want you because in addition to being clingy, you are overly sensitive and become all catty like a teenage girl after you get butthurt for no legitimate reason.
People hate clinginess due to individuals like you. Get over it.
Nah I think you're the whiny one because you've been acting hostile with me from the moment you answered this question, not to mention you give 2 replies to every ONE of mine. Your problem is that you keep fucking assuming. This entire time you just assume assume assume just like you assumed that nobody wants me. I'm happily in a relationship with an amazing girl and she is just as clingy if not more clingy than I am.
Nah you're just a bitch, I did nothing to provoke your behavior, you just felt like taking out your PMS on someone behind a computer screen.
100% agree with opinion owner
lol, it's not PMS. You had a hostile tone with me as soon as I was honest about my opinion and tbh, you look like a catty, pre-mature little girl throwing around some unoriginal, overused "comeback" because someone online dare confidently stay true to their opinion. You look RIDICULOUS: You're supposed to be a grown man and you're sitting up here shamelessly acting like a teenage girl for no legitimate reason at all. Stop embarrassing yourself. It's getting sad.
You're the one who continuously keeps pointing out that I'm an adult and calling me a little girl. That is the definition of a lame comeback. Also this is the last thing I said before you started getting pissy with me:
I'm clingy but I have many goals and plans that I am pursuing. I have a stable job and I have goals and dreams and talents. I think clinginess stems from people who don't place emphasis on having lots of friends and being very social. I guess us clingy people get our fill of social attention from one person in bulk rather than going out drinking with like 7 friends.
How was I hostile in any way when I said that?
@dihydrogenmonoxide Thanks.
This post also brings me to another reason why I can't stand clingy men: they tend to be ENTIRELY TOO SENSITIVE to a point where they lack emotional control. I don't want to deal with a grown man who is so overly sensitive that he completely sh*ts on his growth as an adult and conducts himself like an emotionally unstable child. It's unattractive and it's a chore to deal with.
Wow again with the grown man/child statement. Time for a new comeback seriously...
Ok THANKS you told me that like 6 times now? Regardless if it's a comeback or not you already fucking said it. Get some new replies or comebacks or whatever the fuck you want to call them. You still never answered my question though, I posted the last message I sent you before you started being a total bitch me me. What is it about that statement that was hostile? Please enlighten me.
Ok that's about 7 times now. Congratz. The whole reason this even happened is because you misconstrued my reply as if I was being hostile when all I did was gave a mature reply to it pointing out the things that I disagree with.
Get some new replies or comebacks? What the fuck, I'm not interested in dealing with you, man-child. You're doing too much and your hypersensitivity is a chore. Any smart girlfriend is going to leave a dude who acts like you. I'm completely turned off of anything you have to say: your presence disgusts me. Anyhow, I can't handle the way you keep clinging to this conversation. Bye.
he's a pre-teen
leave him alone to develop his brain
he's having a hard time.
I'm clinging to it yet you're the one who continuously keeps giving me totally irrelevant replies because you don't have shit to say back, you're wrong and you know it. You're just a dumb bitch and you don't wanna admit it. All you can do is call me a child and call me sensitive without actually taking 2 seconds to read what I say and give a logical reply to it.
@dihydrogenmonoxide says the one who is under 18. good job
@dihydrogenmonoxide Agreed! COMPLETELY.
He seems to not understand that he's not important enough for me to actually read his immature, whiny, oversensitive comments. Logical replies are for QA's who are actually worth something, not men who act like little girls.
LOL that is an awesome excuse. All of your lame replies are just pathetic excuses to legitimatize your bitchy behavior I'll kindly step away from the conversation and stop feeding you. Enjoy the rest of your night.
QA, I don't have to prove anything to you lol I know I'm not wrong, your presence is so disgusting and unbearable that I'm not interested in explaining anything to you. Maybe your desperately clingy girlfriend will sit around and put up with your oversensitive, whiny BS but don't expect everyone else to. You are dismissed.
clearly more logical than you
firstly, assuming because a woman is giving her opinion, she's needs to stick a tampon in. You're dumb.
secondly, trying to prove that clingly people like yourself have goals in life (but really you were just talking about yourself)
The woman said that she's not into people needing attention 24/7 and giving attention 24/7
and you were trying to attack her opinion
just shut up and stop trying to change her mind that clingy people are great people with goals
we really don't care
we're not into constantly clinginess.
Yep I'm a child, and a little girl and my presence is disgusting and I'm unbearable. All of these things are 100% true. You are a very logical and rational person. Everything I said is bullshit and unreasonable and not worth replying to but all of those things that you said? 100% accurate. Good job. I wish I was as rational and intelligent as you.
@dihydrogenmonoxide *APPLAUSE* THANK YOU. This guy was sitting up here, being all delusional, acting like he was present for a totally different conversation!
I actually told her to stick a tampon in until she switched to bitch mode for no reason. I never told her anything bad about her opinion, I just gave a counter opinion to her opinion. that is the whole purpose of the comment system. She took it to heart for some reason and just became a total bitch. Read the first 5 or 6 messages again and you'll see that I had absolutely no hostility until she did.
Lol you know I'm right, you still have yet to say anything logical or rational, just pure concentrated bitchiness and immature namecalling and every time she replies you are like OMG THANK YOU IT'S TIME TO CRUTCH ON SOMEONE ELSE WHO IS BACKING ME UP. Good fucking job.
You do realize you said the same thing like 10 times right? I don't know why you're wasting your time. I'm a child, I'm sensitive, I can't handle your opinion etc. That's all you've said for like 90% of this. You have no counters to anything I say because you know you're just a bitch. Can't think of shit to say back.
he wasn't trying to change your opinion or say that clingy people are a certain way. He was just saying in the first comment that he didn't mean clingy in a nagging kind of way. you're probably actually eleven or twelve cause all you can do is sit and name call and generalize. jesus go bake cookies or something and stop causing drama when you don't even know what you're talking about lmao.
Clingly people are insecure. They jump to conclusions about everything and anything you do when you're not around with them, by assuming the worst. Clingy people are selfish and assume their own agendas are far more important than those they cling to.
Clingy when intertwined with jealousy is one dangerous explosive combo. No one wants that. The cute type of clingy is the kind where one partner is leaving for work in the morning and the other playfully tries to make them stay.
The leech is just too much, but of course there are people who like being drained dry. Maybe not the best analogy...
I don't hate clingy people, rather I try to understand why they're like that and empathize with them for the lack of attention they were given for them to become like that.
Why is being clingy seen as such a crime?
Is it bad that you love a person so much that you want to spend all of your freetime together?
Girls that have been clingy to me have always been misleading. They were doing it to make me like them when they themselves didn't like me :S
Because most people need their space and privacy too.
I don't even know, but my ex dumped me because he says that I "care too much."
Wow that's seriously fucked up... wtf. This is exactly why there are so many unsuccessful relationships out there.
He didn't deserve me anyways, at least after that.
Because they are blood sucking leeches that deter the future.
Yeah I like clingy people, it just means there more committed to you and such. I am rather clingy myself, some people don't like it.
People dont like to feel smothered is all, but they also dont want to hurt your feelings.
because it inevitably gets annoying to always be yelled at when you did nothing wrong
As long as it's not some extreme thing I don't think it's so bad. You sound cute lol.
Everyone needs their privacy and space. No one likes to be smothered constantly.
If someone's really considered clingy the concept of space is hard/doesnt exist.
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