She wants to put make up on me?

[Anonymous]

My SO wants to put make up on me. She has for a while, and said it would only be eye liner. I told her I would for hot chocolate and a back massage, and she agreed... But. I feel like I'm too submissive and that she doesn't really respect me. I give her everything she wants and if I argue she treats me like the bad guy, and tells me I'm over controlling. I don't feel like she respects me and I feel this would just belittle me to her more. What do you GaGers think?

Let her (explain why)

Don't let her (explain why)

[Prettygurl12]

Personally I don't see the harm in it. Barring all underlying issues that have manifested themselves in the dilemma about makeup in your relationship, I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with a guy letting his girlfriend put makeup on him. It would be a silly activity for you two to do together. You could then put makeup on her and just be silly together.

I think there's a whole other issue in your relationship though. You talk about the respect issue. I don't think that her wanting to do your makeup in and of itself is a sign of disrespect. But I think that there is a respect issue in your relationship - something deeper than the makeup issue - that needs to be addressed.

[Asker]

Like I said, it's not the make up that bothers me, it's how she ALWAYS gets her way and knows it. Anytime she does anything wrong she flips it on me and I take the blame. Everytime she wants something I give it to her, and if I don't immedialtly I'm the bad guy. When I told her I would she went up to all the guys she flirts with and tells them in such a triumphant voice. That's why I feel disrespect.

[Prettygurl12]

Why are you with her? Go find a better girlfriend and let HER do your makeup :)

[Asker]

That seems to be my problem. I should have ended it long ago. She has done way worse. I'm just too attached to know. She has started acting really affectionately know and I like that, but I just don't know sometimes.

[shacodraco]

Dude at this point she knows she has the upper hand. I mean you let er flirt with guys in front of you and you haven't even talked to her about it? She knows she can do whatever she wants because she has you by the balls. I would never let a girl disrespect me like that and I would have dumped her ass on the spot as soon as she flirted with another guy. That's not being insecure, that's having self respect. Leave her like right now and I bet she will come running back to you but don't give in or at least make it a challenge so she knows she can't act like that.

[Asker]

I already talked to her about it and she just flipped it on me. She said I got jealous too easily and that I'm over controlling. She flirts with dudes all the time. Thats why I feel like its a respect problem

[shacodraco]

Yeah not surprised that she said that, she seems like a complete bitch why are you even with her? If she really is flirting with guys in front of you and she tells you you're being jealous just tell her she's right and if she keeps doing it you'll leave her. You don't need to explain yourself any more than that. If she keeps flirting make sure you follow through and leave her. Trust me this is the type of girl that likes to get guys hooked on her and she gets a kick out of making you do whatever she wants. If she really liked you she would not be doing any of this. Leave er before she leaves you lol

[Asker]

I'm with her because we're too attached. If it wasn't for us almost being with each other for a year I'm sure I'd drop her. Its just a little difficult

[shacodraco]

Well either way you should start taking more control of this relationship. You know you can be mad at her too right? Make her work to keep you and she will appreciate you more

[Prettygurl12]

Oh buddy, I've been with my boyfriend for over 3 years and if he ever pulled crap like that I'd drop him immediately.

[Asker]

Thank both of you. I will start taking control. Its been a long time coming. Thanks @Prettygurl112 and @shacodraco

[morganlaene336]

I would if it were for fun. Sometimes I enjoy asking my boyfriend to do silly things like paint my nails or straighten my hair just to lighten up our relationship and expand our comfort levels. If she is doing to control you though, if you think she will want you to wear eyeliner regularly, then that is a different story.

[Asker]

Like I said, it's not the make up that bothers me, it's how she ALWAYS gets her way and knows it. Anytime she does anything wrong she flips it on me and I take the blame. Everytime she wants something I give it to her, and if I don't immedialtly I'm the bad guy. When I told her I would she went up to all the guys she flirts with and tells them in such a triumphant voice. That's why I feel disrespect.

[morganlaene336]

Like Prettygurl12 said, I don't believe the makeup idea itself will cause you to feel worse, but it could open the door to more frustration on your part. If you truly believe she has disrespected you, I would save the makeup idea for later because it could be fun experience for the both of you, but sit and have an in depth conversation with her. She may have no idea that she is power thirsty in the relationship. There would be two ways to approach it though. If you want her to have more graceful response, I would acknowledge the good she does for you and keep her attention focused on the positive and counteractive things she does for you, that way she is more motivated to do things for you that she knows you will appreciate. Or, you could be completely upfront and lightly let her know that her behavior has been upsetting you. Either or.

[Asker]

Thanks for the advice. I think I'll try that

[aamy811]

I've asked everyone I've dated if I could do their makeup. I love makeup and I'm pretty good at it. Also I just want to see what they look like. Makeup is gender neutral, and I just want to see what they look like with it on

[shacodraco]

You need to man up and stop being her little bitch. Don't let her do it and say no like you mean it. If she keeps pushing the subject say it's never gonna happen and tell her to stop asking. Personally If she kept asking after that I would either dump her or just walk out and not talk to her for a while.

If you do give in she will probably laugh with her girlfriends about how she can make you do whatever she wants. Don't be so whipped.

[Asker]

Exactly what I was thinking. Sir yes sir!

[VulcanHades]

She's clearly a feminist. You need to dump her so she doesn't reproduce and teach her kids to be ungrateful feminists too.

[Mgoods]

Talk to her about it.
Personally, I always wanna put eye liner and mascara on my husband... I don't see him as submissive at all, quite the opposite. He just has amazing eyes! He always says no, anyway :/

Refuse, if you are uncomfortable.