Is she toying with me?

[Jontehdon]

So I have known this girl for about 6 months (since July). After about 2 months of knowing her I ended up starting to like her and I found out she liked me as well, but she said she didn't want a relationship. So fast forward to last November when I moved into my new apartment. Ever since I moved into my new apartment she was over mostly every day for about 2 weeks. Then after those 2 weeks, we tell each other we love each other, but 2 days later she says it was a mistake and that we moved too fast.

So of course I was upset, but life goes on. I still like this girl and she still says she likes me, but about 2 weeks ago she tells me she "feels like giving up". Now in my head I was confused. Ever since we "broke up" back in November, it felt as if I was the only one trying to restore our relationship, but then she says she is going its best to just "give up" because she doesn't want to lose me as a friend and end up hating because I have changed.

No one else has said I have changed anything I have done, but lately it seems she takes things I say out of context and ends up making me feel bad for stuff I don't even do. Another thing that sucks is she was in a bad relationship for 4 years and doesn't really have self-esteem. So it makes it even harder for me to prove that I actually do care about her.

I guess all I really want to know from other girls is, is she just toying with my emotions because she knows I won't stop caring for her? Or am I (or her) just confused?

[no_Need_For_Name]

Okay, females do share a gender, but it doesn't really mean we share a method of thinking. So right now I can't be 100% when I tell you that I think that she is not toying with you.

Well, here is just my opinion, I doubt that a girl ( who is probably about 18-24) would come up with a grand master plan of toying with you so that you won't stop caring with you. If anything, it is already known that toying a whole lot with a guy allows them to lose interest.

It seems that over here, in this situation, the only thing to do is to have that good old fashioned talk. Sit her down, and tell her that: you care for her, and that you are ready to have a relationship with her. And although you really do like her, (or as you said you love her) at this point of your life, you are looking for a relationship. And tell her if she has no interest then tell you now, so that you can move on.

And this shows her that you are serious of how you also care for your own emotions. It shows that you not only care for her, but you care for yourself as well. And the fact that she sees that there is a possibility losing you, then that might shake her into realization of how she doesn't want to lose you as being more than just friends.

(I think maybe you should feel comfortable having this conversation... If you guys felt comfortable saying that you loved each other, then you should feel comfortable telling her exactly what you feel.

Well If it is that possibility that she still does not want to be in a relationship with you, then at least you got that truthful answer out of her. So that you can stop wasting precious time on something that won't happen.

And if she is confused and ends up not being not being in a relationship with you, then if she truly wants loves you as she says, then she will come back.

But I hope everything works out for you at the end. Hope you didn't mind reading this looong answer, and good luck!

[Nyx_85]

I'd say she is confused. She needs to deal with her own issues and rebuild her self confidence. She needs to learn to love herself again before she can love anyone else. I don't think she intends to toy with you. I think she probably does like you and thinks maybe things will work out, but then her fears get in the way. That is something she needs to work on... on her own.

[Jontehdon]

Thanks girls for your advice. We talked earlier and I decided to stop pursuing. I don't want to lose her as my friend either, so instead of creating a rift between us, I rather just move on and know she is there, then lose her forever.

Thanks for your advice.