My girlfriend wants me to be more dominant but I am not a dominant person I need help?

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend wants me to be more dominant in general and I am not a dominant person at all, I just like to make her happy and I will give my opinions and be dominant at times but I don't think I'm dominant enough, I want to know how to be more dominant without being too dominant

[Truly-Unique]

Hey pal, I've been in that position and have had some pretty bad experiences messing around in that domain, but I'll give you the advice I've learnt from experience.
You're not a bad person or defective in any way if you can't be as dominant as SHE wants, you're just being you, and that's totally fine. You don't HAVE to be what she wants, there are other people that will accept you just as you are.
Not ALL GIRLS love a dominant guy. Many do, but not all.
Make sure you share your feelings about it with her. If she's understanding and cares for you, she may want to help you along with it, as we can all learn.
I'm naturally pretty dominant, but apparently still not dominant enough for my wife, lol, so yeah, it's tricky. Just be yourself.

[Asker]

Thanks man, I literally have no idea what I do about it, I don't have any idea how to be dominant

[Truly-Unique]

If you really want to be... get on Tumblr and search for it. Just type "how to be a dominant", but be prepared to feel overwhelmed, and like you may never be able to do it.
If you're not naturally dominant (and there's nothing WRONG with that), it'll be a hard road to force yourself into it.

[Asker]

Okay I'll have a look on tumblr, thank you, yeah I know it's going to be hard that's why I'm so scared, because I feel like I'm not going to be good enough if I can't be

[Truly-Unique]

I feel for you man... but remember, you're FINE if you're not naturally dominant... it doesn't mean your relationship won't work out, and it doesn't mean that things won't work out in other relationships. Some girls are just really into, and some aren't.
Tumblr can really make you feel as though every girl on Earth wants a dominant guy, but it's not true... it's just the nature of the place you're looking in.

[Asker]

Yeah I know it doesn't, I'm just a really insecure person so I worry and overthink everything, but thank you for the help, it's much appreciated

[kheserthorpe]

Imagine yourself as the captain, and her as your first mate. Trust her, value her input, be willing to listen if she has something to say, but don't require it of her, be confident enough to lead the relationship, make decisions and have her be a part of it. Don't ask her all the time what she wants, try to understand what she needs, and what you need, and make it happen.

[Asker]

Thank you

[Bloodfaith]

dominance is hard to learn.

Sure you can learn some tricks and such to make you "act" more dominant. But true dominance is natural. Some people are born dominant some are more submissive... of course you can always learn to act opposite to the way you instinctually feel but honestly, you'll be happier in the role you naturally take versus the role you or your girlfriend "thinks" you should take.

[Bloodfaith]

Not all women like dominant guys. I'm naturally very dominant so I tend to like guys who are less dominant.

don't worry about it and just be yourself.

[Asker]

Thank you

[queenofsass]

Lolz. Like sexually dominant? Cuz that's an easy fix...

[Asker]

No it's not sexually dominant, just dominant in general

[queenofsass]

Lolz. Just put on your big boy pants and get with it. If she wants you to be more dominant, that go at it.