HELP? My girlfriend dominates me?

[Anonymous]

She's about my equal in strength, but knows that she can beat me up badly if she wants... Whenever she enters the room she terrifies me with her body language. This is how she keeps me in line and I act accordingly.

Yesterday it was pretty bad. She sat down next to me and started verbally bullying me. I took her shit because I'm scared, but the moment I tried to verbally defend myself she became aggressive and really got in my face.

I almost couldn't move. I started apologising and she bullied me a little more. Then she had to leave. She's coming again in a few hours... What should I do? (I won't leave or cause more trouble for myself)

Updates

+1 y

UPDATE -- Last night we had a great time together!! :D We went out for dinner and even watched a movie later at night. I enjoyed myself so much I don't think I could ever break up with her...

Isn't there another way except going away? (I can't beat her up, she's not just a bit stronger but also far more vindictive than me)

Updates

+1 y

Sorry for not posting this here, but she said that if I ever went to another woman (unless she dumps me) then she would have my balls on her table... Safe to say if I try and break up with her it won't be pretty.

I'm planning on leaving the city if it continues. She'll find me anywhere around here... there's not many places to go

[JudgmentDay]

Oh boy, you're setting yourself up for more suffering if you thing is kind of a relationship is going to end well for you. I think she will totally go psycho on you if you try to leave her, but I seriously think you need to leave her asap if she is really pushing you around and abusing you. Better find a way to "ghost" and disappear from her and cut off any and all ties and contact from her. The longer you are around her and if you don't stand up to her, then leaving is for your wellbeing's own good.

Otherwise she will treat you nothing more than a boy toy and someone she could fuck with at any time in any way that she wants to and perhaps even take her frustrations and anger out on you randomly. She'll start with verbal assaults and insults and then eventually it will become physical assaults before you know it.

Getting out of it asap is the best and only option I can see here. Because you can't control her, in how she acts, thinks, feels, etc., , but she sounded like she wanted to control you. But do you want to let her control you? Would you honestly be good and fine with her running your life HER way?

[JudgmentDay]

Thanks for the MHO!

[Fearless_banana]

Get her right by the fucking neck and throw her up against a wall. Rip off her shirt and punch her square in the jaw. Pin her face into the ground and slap her ass till it's purple. Stick your cock in her ass and if she screams render her unconscious. When she wakes up punch her square in the jaw again and repeat. Thank me later OP

[Asker]

what?

[Asker]

see update

[JuicyBrain]

If he had the courage to do that, he would have done it already...

[Asker]

I guess, but I don't want to :(

[Laura_Marx]

okay I was expecting somthing totally differet from the title. That's not her dominatng you - that's abuse. You're not supposed to feel scared of your partner, and they're not supposed to bully you. That's really not a health relationship for you <333

honestly I think you should just break up with her. There isn't a way to move past that. It's the hardest thing to do right now, but in the long term its a lot better. Just tell her you don't want to see her anymore, and lock your doors.

I'm sorry this happened to you!

[Asker]

Thanks but actually we have a very good relationship together. Sorry I didn't see your reply earlier. I don't know why you are being so harsh on her she's a great person and cares for me a lot. This happens less than 5% of the time and it's only when I step out of the imaginary bounds

[Laura_Marx]

I'm now the appropriate level to post pictures, so:

www.soulshepherding.org/.../Cycle-of-Abuse.png

[Laura_Marx]

if there are 'imaginary bounds' on her treating you like a human being, it's not a good relationship. I'm sorry <333

[sassygirl13]

Talk to her what you told us. Tell her how she is hurting you but you love her and want to stay with her. Ask her to make the choice either to treat you well or to leave you.
It's unhealthy but you seem to enjoy the relationship. Also join a gym or defence classes to boost your physical strength and mental.

[Asker]

I tried but the moment I start being "assertive" she violently talks over me :(

[watercolor_lions]

Dude, you HAVE to leave this relationship...

It sounds like you might need some counseling, too.

Honestly, I'd tell her I filed a restraining order, and that if she gets within a certain distance of you, she could be arrested.

You HAVE to LEAVE.

[watercolor_lions]

It sounds like you love her because she is abusive—you might not realize it, but it's not natural to like someone who's mean—go to counseling.

[JuicyBrain]

Get out of there
awesomegifs.com/.../reek-sausage.gif

You are talking exactly like a beaten wife. You have the same rhetoric. If you still have your balls, bring them somewhere else.

[Panay]

your ONLY options are
1. break up with her-she abusive and vindictive, and you should probably just get out
2. talk to her about it in an assertive manner and demand respect, because relationships NEED respect on both sides

if you dont like these options then you're stuck in a shitty abusive relationship

[Asker]

there's gotta be another way!!

[Panay]

Unfortunately there isn't

[Alessus]

I'd say you should leave the relationship. What you describe is not healthy and certainly not normal.

[Asker]

we are a healthy couple. She's really fit for a girl...

[Alessus]

I was talking about mental health not physical.

[Asker]

she makes me really happy though. I don't want to leave... but there must be another way

[Alessus]

Well maybe you should get tougher and bigger then see if she still tries to terrorize you.

[Asker]

good idea :D how long will it take? I'm just a shade weaker than her

[ClariceOwen23]

It's time to leave. That's not a healthy relationship

[Asker]

No we have a VERY good relationship otherwise... trust me it's only when I get out of line

[ClariceOwen23]

Doesn't sound like it. You need to let go

[Asker]

She makes me very happy. It's only when she doesn't like what I do... or if I snap back at her when she's telling me how things should be

[ClariceOwen23]

Exactly. That's not healthy. She should not be telling you what to do

[Asker]

I don't mind her telling me what to do... it's just that I want her to somehow be more open minded

[ClariceOwen23]

Well it doesn't sound like she's going to happen. And it's really not okay for her to decide what you do. She doesn't own you.

[Laura_Marx]

"No we have a VERY good relationship otherwise"

have you heard of the cycle of abuse?

(i'm too low a level to post a link, but please google image search 'cycle of abuse')

long periods of 'calm' will only build up to more instances of abuse. It's not a good relationship if she is abusive to you <33

[DandelionGirl]

Dump her? Why are you with someone who scares and intimidates you?

[Asker]

She said if I dare leave her, bad things will happen...

[DandelionGirl]

Get a restarting order from the police, tell them your girlfriend is threatening you

[Asker]

Nothing will stop her from getting her hands on me. It's not that she would just pummel me, but could even do something worse when nobody's looking...

Plus I don't want to leave her. I really like her and she makes me very happy... except in times like these

[DandelionGirl]

Well then you've made up your mind, if you don't want to help yourself then no one can help you. Stay with her and be terrified. Relationships are not meant to be frightening.

[Asker]

I just don't want things to get to this point :(

[DandelionGirl]

It's already there.

[Asker]

We're in a very good relationships, it's not like yesterday 95%+ of the time. It only happens when I push her buttons by mistake. She really cares for me and WILL not let me go...

[DandelionGirl]

That still doesn't mean it's a healthy relationship.

[Asker]

We're very healthy. She is especially fit for a female

[watercolor_lions]

5% cannot be filled with terror and fearing for your life... That is not healthy...

[jasonwrestler]

Bullying in a relationship is never a good thing. You have to get out, cause you can't live in fear. Good Luck

[Rock_Steakface]

Break up with her and keep a very powerful taser in your pocket for when you do. Don't be afraid to lay her ass out with it, either.

[stonerboner]

Apparently, you are a submissive. Go with it. Get a collar for your neck and a cage for your dick and give her the keys. Be what you are and be proud of it. If you need a spanking you can come by my place.

[Anonymous]

If you won't leave, there's no advice anybody can give you really is there. Either leave or keep getting abused, your choice.

[Asker]

harsh... don't be so closed minded there must be another way

[Opinion Owner]

Erm it's not closed minded, she's abusing you. Nobody is ever scared of their partner in a normal relationship.

[Asker]

no I'm not really scared of her... she's just dominant you know?

[Opinion Owner]

"I took her shit because I'm scared, but the moment I tried to verbally defend myself she became aggressive and really got in my face"

"Whenever she enters the room she terrifies me with her body language. This is how she keeps me in line and I act accordingly"

"I started apologising and she bullied me a little more"

What part of this sounds like a normal relationship?
You know that no abusers are abusive 24/7 that's what makes the person stay. All the people with abusive partners.. what do they have in common? They say "when it's bad it's really bad, but when it's good it's so good, best relationship etc" just leave, please.

[Asker]

this is just a very, very VERY small part of our relationship. The majority is truly GREAT. She just dominates the hell out of me, and then it's over...

[Dred1614]

Install security cameras and blackmail her with the footage.

[Asker]

lol good idea... Thanks

[frozenhorizon]

lmao that's a pretty good idea

[MaLifeBeLikeOooAaah]

Then why the hell are you with her... does she even love you

[Asker]

Yes she loves me a lot. She's just too strict!!

[MaLifeBeLikeOooAaah]

Talk to her and tell her you don't like and really feel uncomfortable :)

[HeresJames1]

Either become a submissive cuck, teach her whose boss, or leave her.

[Anonymous]

If you don't leave you gon wake up with your dick chopped off 😂

[Asker]

no she really cares about me and we have a GREAT time together. It's just 5% or less of the time that this happens... It only happens when I push her buttons unknoeingly

[Opinion Owner]

Why ask then if you're so sure she isn't insane

[Asker]

I want to find a way to not make that 5% happen without dumping her... any tips?

[Popo21]

Wth, leave her ASAP she's crazy and it's only gonna get worst

[Jeeevan]

That's not dominating, that's you being physically and emotionally abused. Leave her now.

[LaVilaine]

Why don't you just break up with her?

[Asker]

I'm scared of what she'll do if I break up with her. She once said my balls would be on her table if I leave. We've been together for almost 2 years... I can't leave now

[LaVilaine]

Yeah you can. Pack up and go. Leave your cellphone. Go to a shelter if you think she will follow you to your family or friends.

[Asker]

She WILL find me sooner or later. I'm not just scared for my genitals, I also love her. I'm sure it won't get to this point if I'm good. I just need to find a way to make things right... but I'm clueless right now :(

[LaVilaine]

You can't make things right with an abuser. She will never treat you the way you deserve. The only way to make things right again is to leave and never come back.

[Asker]

Should I try to move to another city? I'm pretty sure she'll find me anywhere in this place sooner or later... and it WON'T be pretty when she does

[LaVilaine]

You could do that. If you think it's best.

[Asker]

see update

[LaVilaine]

This is all part of the cycle of abuse. The only way to break free from the bad times will be to leave her. The longer you stay in this relationship, the fewer and further between the good times will become. Get out now while you still have the will to want more for yourself.

[Asker]

no actually the good times've remained constant over almost 2 years now...

[LaVilaine]

I don't believe that. I think you're lying, either to me or to yourself. I don't care if you lie to me, but lying to yourself can be incredibly dangerous.

[Asker]

I swear, she just dominates the hell out of me and then it's over. Most of our time together is EXCELLENT... and that's an understatement! I really enjoy the relationship... but it's just when she dominates me from time to time that it gets ugly (for me)

I want that 5% to change. It was always 5% and shows no signs of increasing/decreasing

[LaVilaine]

Again, I don't believe you.

[Asker]

please help me :'(

[LaVilaine]

I have already tried. You just don't want to take my advice.

[Anonymous]

I'm thinking you're a sub and enjoy being her bitch. true?

[Asker]

err... no?

[Opinion Owner]

does she use a strap on in you?

[Asker]

err.. no?

[Opinion Owner]

she should

[QuestionMan]

Break up with her.
She's not worth your time

[jacquesvol]

Why don't you just ghost her?

[Hunterb]

Bulk up and kick her ass

[Asker]

nahhhh plus I don't know if I'll be able to bulk up

[idkwtftoputhere]

then DUMP HER JESUS

[Asker]

I can't I really like her... I need some other options

[idkwtftoputhere]

then you need to sit down and have a talk with her and tell her the shit she's doing is not okay. She's being abusive and you need to either assert yourself or leave.

[Asker]

She'll talk over me if I try and be "assertive"

[idkwtftoputhere]

Then you need to tell her to stfu
There needs to be respect from both partners in the relationship and it seems like she doesn't respect you at all. If she physically tries to hurt you, call the cops.

[Asker]

It won't be good if I do all that. I would prefer to just keep quiet about it... but is there anything else I could do?

[idkwtftoputhere]

I don't think so nor do I understand why you'd want to stay in an abusive relationship but w. e to each their own.

[Asker]

there must be a way...

[Asker]

if only things wouldn't get to this point :(

[frustratedhw]

Break up with her...

[niceguy199]

haha nice it made me lol

[helloitsmethere]

LEAVE HER.

[Asker]

anything but that please

[helloitsmethere]

but... she said she would have your balls on her table... dude she's crazy and it can affect you mentally, the best thing to do is leave... I'm sorry

[Asker]

no she only said that for if I got together with another girl, and she hasn't dumped me yet!! I'm loyal so it won't happen :)

[helloitsmethere]

But she's verbally abusive to you...

[Asker]

no she's great 95% of the time. We have an excellent relationship for the vast majority of the time

[Anonymous]

Slap her with your big dick

[Asker]

seriously

[Anonymous]

She's abusing you! Trust me, leaving is necessary.

[TheOneLol]

Definitely a troll.

[Anonymous]

This is stupid