How should you take it when a guy says it's not the right time for a relationship?

[cuddlyqueen]

Long story short... a guy and I have been best friends for two years now. We are really close, always together, and always hugging & holding eachother. Everyone just assume we are together but we are in the friends zone. I have really strong feelings for him... at the beginning I saw him as a close friend, but the past 6 months, my feelings for him has grown so strong that I have endless sleepless nights over him. From my perspective, I am 80% sure that he has feelings for me, but even though he tells me how important I am to him, and he's always hugging & holding me (we haven't kissed), he hasn't done anything to get us out of the friends zone. Last night, I had a house party at my house and he was sober and I was a little drunk and my friends ask him when we are gonna make it official. And then he said to them that "It's not the right time"... basically that he has stuff in his life to take care of and blah blah blah... and he also added ''she knows it's not the right time''. Like what do you make from that? How am I supposed to read it? I feel like most people always feel like they should wait for the right time and that is their plan mostly, but when you REALLY REALLY like someone, you'd through caution out to the wind because you really want the person... but it could also be that he's being careful not to damage our AMAZING friendship. How should I take this up? I'm sooo confused. I badly want him. (I'm 24 by the way, and he's 22)

[allwood]

Well it could be few different things here, one, he is just fobbing off your friends, saying anything to end that particular conversation, two, he might really have things to sort out in his life, or three he doesn't feel ready for a relationship.
The problem with younger guys is they don't know that it will never feel like 'the right time', you're right in your point of if you really like someone you throw caution to the wind and just go for it.
Another point I want to make is about your friendship, if two people are friends without being attracted to one another, then they are friends, but if one person has strong feelings for the other, then it isn't really a friendship, as it's based on a lie.
I suggest you tell this guy your feelings, how you feel about him etc, be completely honest with him, then see what he says, if he gives you some rubbish about not being ready or anything, then move on, you might lose your 'friendship' but you're only worried about that because you like him and don't want to lose him from your life, but you'll have to go through that eventually anyway.
Good luck.

[JohnScofield787]

If you were both a little more settled I would agree with you. However he may have some goals in his life and they are more important than anything to him right now, even you.

So that leaves you a choice:
1) either accept that and move on. You deserve better than being his second best, even if it is not because he is being mean. (he isn't being mean if right now his goals are a higher priority - he isn't leading you on as you have said)
2) wait him out until he feels it is the right time. But you just need to "man up" and ask him about when it is going to be the right time and what that means. If there is never going to be a right time move on. but if you can live with the answer, respect him for it and wait... but then he has to understand you will only be able to wait for so long.

I wish you well!

[Azara]

I don't know. everyone is different but if i wanted know id just ask and be prepared to take what he says at face value.

[becca123]

I would take it that he doesn't want a relationship. Listen to his words :)

[D33jayb]

Wait it out... Doubt it's personal. His loss for now

[Npaz24]

He said its not the right time
So he did think about it once or more ;)
Maybe its really not the right time but one day probably :)
Good luck

[bDizzie]

It will never be the right time. Move on.

[Anonymous]

Just quit it.