My boyfriend has asked me to stop eating pork. Muslim and agnostic relationship?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend identifies as muslim however doesn't pray occasionaly drinks but doesn't eat pork. We have been on and off for 2.5 years.
we lived together for a year and went on a break for 5 months and have been working things out recently.
In the time I was living with him I stopped eating pork and to be honest I did do it for him.
While we broke up I was eating pork and still am atm of which he is aware. We recently had an argument in which he said there are things I won't compromise on like my partner eating pork and my kids eating pork while living in his house.
He said out of respect to him and his beliefs I should stop eating pork in order to set a good example for the future kids.
However I feel like by doing this for him id be losing my views and beliefs (because I don't care about pork as I wasn't raised to not eat it) and I feel like its an attempt at controlling me and what I do.

Im curious to see what others would do.
Would you?

stop eating pork in full awareness that I would be doing it solely for him and his values and out of respect to him?

Offer the compromise of not eating pork in his presence and if we live together not bringing it into the home out of respect?

tell him that I will continue to eat pork as I see fit and if there is no long term prospects in this instance that we should go our separate ways?

stop eating pork

ask for the compromise

eat pork

Updates

+1 y

Just to clarify, He identifies as muslim. However he does NOT pray. does NOT beleive in allah or any religion for that matter. He was raised by strongly muslim parents who he argues with about religion. he was raised as muslim and was told not to et pork however he has made is own choices as to what he believes in himself
And believe it or not hates head scarfs and burqas.

[Anonymous]

Hi Lady, It's Not About Controlling You (He May Be Power Hungry Or Not But It's Not About That At All), It's About Hating The Situation That You Do A ((Taboo)) He Didn't Or Never Do, He Couldn't Handle That You Ate His Old ((Taboo)) That He Never ((Commit)) & You Were ((Commiting)) Long Ago, It's Not About Culture, Respect Or Religion, But He's Willing To ((Forgive)) You Because Eating Pork Or Bacon Isn't Such A Big Deal, I'm Muslim But I'll Explain It Just As A Man, If I Was Virgin I Would Refused Any Not Virgin Girl Not Because Losing Her Virginity Meant She Was A Bad Girl But Because I'd Clearly Feel ((Weaker)) Or Say Less Than Her (I Lost It When I Was 13YO), I Won't Accept A Girl That Drinks Alcoholics If I Weren't Drinking, It's Just Like This & No Phsycology Expert Is Going To Tell You Such Theories Because He Simply Don't Know, Your Boyfriend Personality Type Is So Rare & I'm Ensuring He Loves You More Than Life (Also You Love Him More Than You Could Expect), Please Never Be Agressive & Be Diplomatic, Try Talking Directly With Him That He's ((Stronger)) Than You & Remind Him He Did Much ((Taboos)) In His Entire Life (If That Really Happend) To Make Him Feel As ((A Real Man)) According To His Way Of Thinking & Please Never Eat Ham, Bacon Or Pork Because It's Really Bad For Your Health, Knowing That Pigs Tissue Is Much Similar To Us Humans & That's Just Scary, I Admit I Ate Bacon Few Times Untill My Ex-Girlfriend (She Was White American - Neither Muslim Nor Jewish) Adviced Me Not To Do For Health Reasons (I Already Knew) Telling Me That She & Some Of Her Family Members Never Ate It Just For Health Reasons, Be Soft, Spoil Him & He'll Love You Forever, Please Note (Both Of You) Not To Try Obligating Your Children On Certain Religion Because That Will Make Them Hate All Religions, Whatever You Record Them They'll Grow Up & Choose At Least Into Their Hearts, Making Problems With Each Other About What Would You ((Record)) Them As Or Should They Be Raised As Muslims, Christians Or Irreligious Isn't A Big Deal, So Don't Ruin Your Love About Such Matters, I'm Muslim Who's Convienced With Islam , Pray, Read Quran With Meditaion And Understanding & Do Good Things But I Won't Claim I'm An Angel, With All My Respect To Your Boyfriend I'm Not An Athiest But Men Are Men & I Explained The Case Through Phsycology Not Religion, Wish You Both The Best.

[Bluegrimoire]

I voted B, he shoulf respecf and accept you as the pork-eating person that you are and out of respect for the relationship you could stop eating pork in his presence. It is unfair for you to stop being you because he asked you to. Try asking is it possible to do a fair trade. You stop eating pork but he has to start eating it. Fair exchange, is it not? It weighs exactly the same. If he refuses then on what ground is it fair for him to ask you to stop eating pork? He has to give something equally big. Like quitting smoking or drinking and start praying. The whole nine yards or none at all.

Hope that helps.

[BeInnovative]

I will take a look it in two ways: first as a reason why you should quit and second as to the answer of people who say 'dump him' due to their own lack of religion knowledge. I myself feel I am an agnostic, i dont practice any religion, and I am a vegan. However I ate pork when I was dating my recent ex b4 bein vegan
Well, not becuz of him but for yourself stop eating pork anyways. There are many diseases coming from pigs as they eat their own or others' carcasses, bugs, insects etc. They r already not worth to eat because they eat shit. Apart from that, think about swine flu, trichinellosis etc. Pork versus cow meat is like different in their digestion. Cows spend a good time digesting and getting rid of the toxic substances in the body whereas pigs directly digest like human and keep some toxins in the fat tissue and you cannot het rid of them even if you cook them. Plusi am not sure check into that but i heard that pigs dont have sweat glands and you know sweating is important to get rid of body toxins for some creatures.
Apart from those, being humane, the pigs have feelings, and they are killed in pain in farms mostly. I dont think animal rights are put inti practice in USA or China for the sake of providing meat. They just make poor animals suffer. If it is RELIGION, in Christianity, the Old Testament, in Levicitus, mention not eating pork. So how some Christian people are talking about Muslims in a bad way due to eating/not eating pork, i dont get it. I believe religions are stupid and I dont believe but if 2 out of 3 book-only-religions (jewish-islam) prohibit pork, then maybe they knew something when they are creating these story books like Torah or Quran. Anyways I dont say stop eating just because of him, but because of your own willingness to quit eating meat for your health, for animals' right etc... so you can hit two birds with one reason. But if u cannot quit eating pork and u love eating it to death, then he should start learning to respect.

[BeInnovative]

As i said i wouldn't stop eating just becuz if him. I would stop eating meat and its products compelely if i believe so. Thou for me it is easy to say as I am vegan. Hwever not only pig, other animals like chickens and some fish contain toxins too if they are not raised in sanitary conditions...

[TheDevilInside]

uh-oh. Looks like you might have caught yourself a controlling muslim man there.

This is like Christian Grey and Ana. lol. He tells her what to eat and what not to eat. Do you seriously want a guy who controls what you eat and what you don't eat? I mean, it's not like his brother is a pig and if you eat pork then it's basically like you're eating his brother... It's just a type of meat, for god's sake.

And sure, he says that he would compromise in other areas, JUST this one he wouldn't compromise. Well guess what girl? He's trying to control you and the way you live your life. If you give in to this one, he will start demanding other things too, things that you don't want to do. You give in again, he will demand something else again.

The more you give in, the more control you're giving him over your life.

Do you really want a guy who controls your life? This is not the 50s, nor are you living in the middle east, I assume? If you live in the west, then the western rules of man-and-women-relationship applies here. THE MAN DOES NOT CONTROL HIS WOMAN. We're strong independent women. Don't let a guy control you! If he threatens to break up with you over fucking pork, tell him to find a muslim girl instead from some oppressed middle eastern country, then he won't have to make compromises anymore.

You go find a man who respects you and loves you for who you are and whatever you eat! A man who sees you as his equal.

Another thing you maybe could do:
tell him you'll give up pork IF he is also willing to give something up, something that he likes but you don't. See? Cause that's what's compromise is about. See if he'll cave in to that. If he does pull this test through, then he might be fair guy. If he refuses to do it, he's shit. And shit gets dumped.

[Debara]

This is my way of thinking about respective and accepting. I respect his religion he is right to not eat pork I am totally accept that. I respect myself I am not Muslim I am right to eat pork. He suppose to accept who I am. Since he knew I'm not Muslim. My child have right to choose what they want to eat and I'll respect that as long as it not kill anyone. As a good father he suppose to agree. No one force or control anyone. Win win win. So it is u to think about it. Talk to him again. Understand different and find solutions to live in peace together.

[MaskedSanity]

Why doesn't HE start eating pork out of respect for YOUR beliefs?

You're right, he IS trying to control you. You shouldn't have to stop doing something you like, that has LITERALLY no effect on him what so ever. It's his belief, that's it. His flesh won't start melting if he sees you chowing down in some bacon.

You are different people and the best thing to do would be to go your separate ways. Over time he will expect you to change even more, accept more of his beliefs and eventually convert.

Considering how much of a dickwad he's being to you already, I'd day it's a good idea to break up just because if that.

Overly religious people will ALWAYS try to change you to their religious liking.

[Asker]

Once again he's not religious he doesn't pray or believe in god. He was simply RAISED not to eat pork. he even argues about religion with his mum.

[MaskedSanity]

Fair enough.

But why is it so important for him to have you stop eating pork? Why does he feel that it's something worth arguing over?

I can understand if you were taking drugs and he was very much against it, because he was concerned for your health.

But pork? That's just stupid. It's the controlling aspect you should be most worried about. There are secular controlling guys out there too and those relationships are far from great.

I'll be damned before I allow someone tell me what to do and how to live my life, especially when it's something so menial. If he tells you what to eat and argues over it, that's a HUGE red flag. He'll definitely move on to controlling other aspects of your life, if you stay and comply.

[Anonymous]

uhhhm as a muslim myself
id like to tell you that muslims are not allowed to marry atheists, only jews and christians
and relationships of this kind are obviously a no-no
and i have foreign friends from different religions and i never ask them to stop drinking because MY faith says i dont drink thats absurd, i might advice them for their health but will never force them
and if lets say i was a vegetarian and i married someone who wasn't i wouldn't force him to stop eating meat either...

and p. s: him not believing in God also makes him an atheist (Allah=God/deity)... so yea, you eating pork is the least of his problems...

[Asker]

Agnostic is not atheist. I beleive there could be a higher being but who is to say its allah or jesus. I have the upmost respect for those who do follow a religion. As I said he doesn't follow it and what I should probably clarify is he doesn't practice. He sees his so called muslim friends attend the mosque then go out drinking and he finds that absurd. He simply doesn't eat pork because he was raised that way. I agree my dietary choices shouldn't affect him to this degree

[Opinion Owner]

oh i misread lol my bad

and yea he doesn't nor does he practice, what exactly defines him as muslim? i really don't see how he is a muslim lol
and his friends are yes wrong and dead wrong for drinking, but guess what, they practice.
we are not perfect and we are not expected to be thats why the concept of redemption/confession/repenting whatever you wanna call it exists. some just make bigger/more mistakes than others
yes it is absurd to go drink right after you prayed. but your guy is not really in a position to judge that since he is no better (And him being a human)
sounds like he doesn't eat pork because he does not want to and its not really about religion.. am i right?

[Opinion Owner]

doesn't believe**
they at least practice**

^oopsies lol

also, drinking doesn't really make you a non-muslim, its a sin yes but its not like converting or not believing. im not justifying by any means, but yea just elaborating lol
and he does not practice because his friends acts dont make sense to him?

[Asker]

Its not that he judges his mates for drinking its the issue of why sin then go to mosque its lacking in moral fibre if you truly believe the religion to the fullest extent then follow it. But dont half ass it if that makes any sense and that's the reason as to why he doesn't practice because he doesn't believe whole heartedly in religion.

yeh his only reasoning for not eating pork is thats how he was raised its apart of his culture and he wants to pass it onto his kids which that's fine if that's what he wants but its the issue of expecting me to do it.

[Opinion Owner]

oh i see lol
but like i said, no one is expected to be perfect but mistakes/sins are different lol

looks like the problem is not even religious at all, its more of a "can i compromise? can i live with this? " thing lol
and those are questions only you can answer :)

good luck

[Dionysos]

Never date anyone who demands that you change to respect their belief in magical imaginary friends.

Never EVER date, much less raise kids with a cult member whose cult includes your subjugation and the death penalty if you or your kids leave.

He might be all that and a bag of chips, but he's also part of the most dangerous (to women) cult out there. The idea of having kids in it should scare the heck out of you.

And yeah I know. Loud noises. Indignation, etc.

[Asker]

I'm sorry dangerous to women? My boyfriend has never raised a hand to me in any way shape or form. I've known girls who have been so battered and bruised by there boyfriends that they couldn't stand, the men where of a christian religion.

[Dionysos]

It isn't just him you have to be worried about. If he's from a Muslim family Google honor crime and watch some of the stoning videos on liveleak. The ones where they set family members on fire or run over them with cars are pretty scary too. Killing the apostate or the female who dishonors the family is a community activity. I imagine it's a festival atmosphere as long as it's not you or your kid buried to the neck getting killed.

Oh, and it happens here in the west too. They just lump it in with domestic violence because it's not PC to talk about the dark side of big religions.

[Asker]

Im in australia so there is no stoning. And I have met his sister brother nephews and neices all of which I get along with very well. And as I said he has never raised his hand to me. We have had many serious fights were we were both screaming and yelling and angry so no he is not violent. Nor his family.

[Dionysos]

Ask him what his views are about your desire to raise the children in a secular style.

Whatever you do, don't ever let him get the kids to a Muslim country either. You lose all rights to them once they get there. If you're OK with that, and you trust him with your life, have fun. Just don't cry later.

Good luck, and I honestly hope my concerns are completely misplaced.

[Asker]

Its not that he judges his mates for drinking its the issue of why sin then go to mosque its lacking in moral fibre if you truly believe the religion to the fullest extent then follow it. But dont half ass it if that makes any sense and that's the reason as to why he doesn't practice because he doesn't believe whole heartedly in religion.

yeh his only reasoning for not eating pork is thats how he was raised its apart of his culture and he wants to pass it onto his kids which that's fine if that's what he wants but its the issue of expecting me to do it.

[Dionysos]

What should scare you poop-less is that he feels entitled enough to make that kind of demand on you, and to assume that you're OK with him dictating how your children will be raised. Think about that for a second and then have a frank calm discussion about where the power will lie in any kind of long term relationship with him.

A lot of western girls fall for the style and other attributes of guys from the Med, but too often they learn WAAAAY too late what lies beneath. I'm speaking from having watched it happen more than once. There's a very deep seated cultural expectation in a lot of Muslim families that the guy really does run the show in a no-joking, will hurt you if you fight it kind of way. You'll do well for yourself to make sure that you can live with whatever level of that expectation is present in your guy before you do anything permanent.

[Asker]

In his previous relationship which lasted for 10 years he was a stay at home dad for 2 years because his partner wanted to work. Does that sound like someone that takes away jobs friends and family? He frowned upon by his family because he was doing the 'womans role' but he did it for his partner.

[Dionysos]

Maybe ya got a good un. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

thats just controlling behaviour, he's not willing to follow islam to the letter with drinking alcohol but expects you to give things up when you dont believe in it at all? hypocrite

"Through intoxicants and games of chance, Shaytan seeks only to cause enmity and hatred among you, and to turn you away from the remembrance of Allah and from Salah." (5:91)

controlling behaviour from any gender of any culture always starts with little things you aren't allowed to do that becomes something else and something else, before you know it he will tell you to convert or he won't marry you. thats what happened to my friends best friend. she had a baby with a very liberal muslim man and just before the marriage he told her to convert or he would take the baby and leave her and she would be able to do nothing about it, the personality change was sudden and unexpected. he claimed that non muslims were ok to mess around with and date but he would never respect or marry them

[ConfusedGrocer]

There are too many of them...

[Opinion Owner]

to be fair him not even believing in allah or the religion makes his request even weaker, if he doesn't eat pork because of how he was raised its no different to you not eating sugary foods because you werent raised that way. he has no right at all to ask you to give up a food banned in a religion he doesn't even believe in for reasons he can't believe in if he doesn't believe in a religion. this is outright controlling behaviour even when you take away the religion aspect. itd be like you asking him to stop eating fast food because you dont or asking him not to ride a bike because you dont for no decent reason other than i was raised that way..

[parkway]

Sounds like your bf has a nasty attitude but his principals are worth the pain and trouble of his desires. What you have is a man who want to respect his God and have a house that respects his God, he wants the promise. The good is that he will likely not cheat on you and take the role of provider and this could hurt your ego.

I eat pork and should not. God created the pig or swine for a reason. The pig will eat anything and it's system is designed to process poison if presented without getting sick and die. Pork of today is more grain fed and not exposed to the enviroment. The pig does not sweat and holds poisons in, some poisons are released through the hoofs.

The fact that he is aruguing with you on the little things such as pork means that he thinks very highly of you and want you in his life the right way. To his creator he is doing good because this man wants the little things to count.

Good luck,

[Asker]

Just to clarify even though he identifies as muslim he doesn't believe in god or Allah. He has the same beliefs as me in the respect of do right by others and they should do right by you and so forth, but he doesn't eat pork just due to the fact he was raised that way. I dont doubt he is serious about me as he has said numerous times that im one of the few he respects, one of the even fewer he trusts but the ONLY one he would trust when it comes to money. My issue is with the aspect of no compromise. Im happy enough to not eat pork in his presence because that is respectful towards him but why should his views that he was raised with impede on mine? In time I might even stop eating pork of my own free will but it should be my choice to do so not a demand of someone else

[ConfusedGrocer]

Today he asks you to stop eating pork, tommorrow he'll ask you to wear a hijab, quit your job and raise your kids Muslim. Don't make that mistake. It's not your religion, you're not disrespecting Islam by eating pork, simply because you have nothing to do with that religion.

[Asker]

I have blatantly told him I won't wear a head scarf or take up the islam religion. To which he is very respectful and actually likes the fact that I wouldn't take up a religion I dont believe in whole heartedly. His ex put on a scarf to impress his mother who is devoutly muslim. And in all honestly even I found that offensive that she put it on when she didn't truly believe in the reason behind wearing one. Which is a way of promoting modesty and is suppose to be a sign of self respect and respect for allah.

[Hidden_P]

Personally, I don't think this person is a Muslim.
That's like being a Christian and not believing in God. No. To have a religion, you BELIEVE in that God.

Also, he picks and choses at which things he wants to do (eg, occasionally prays and drinks) but insists that you stop eating pork? It's not your religion, and what makes him able to pick and chose at which bits are part of the religion? After all, believe in the God isn't!

My lovely, offer the compromise if you want, but I would carry on eating pork. One of my brothers is married to a Hindu (so she doesn't eat pork either). She says as long as he uses separate utensils when cooking for both, or makes sure that he washes anything that's been touching his pork products, she doesn't have an issue. If he was a devote Muslim, I could understand, but he's not. He's being controlling for no real reason.

[AdamThomas]

I'll never understand people who date people who are so culturally and religiously different, especially with a Muslim. You have to change to make it work, they can't love you as you are. He's always going to want to restrict you in these ways. Your kids won't be raised your way, they'll be raised his way.

[cth96190]

You need yo fo some research on Islam.
Mohammed was a mass murdering paedophile and a lunatic who thought that he could talk with angels.
Islam endorses paedophilia, bestiality, slavery, commannds its followers to lie, to murder all unbelievers and take their women as sex slaves. Women are property and imams give instruction on how to beat women most effectively. The Quran commands that everyone who renounces Islam must be killed. You should read the Quran. It is all there. Any non-Muslim woman who forms a relationship with a Muslim is too stupid for words.

[Asker]

He identifies as muslim but does NOT practice, he does not pray, believe in allah and he even occaisonally drinks. He has NEVER cheated or hit me. he simply doesn't eat pork because thats the way he wad raised.
Your ignorance aside. Hating for the sake of hating goes nowhere. Islam is suppose to be a peaceful religion unfortunatly there are bad people in every religion. Priests that touch little kids in catholics. Kkk and extremists creationists in christians and yes even terrorists in muslim cultures. Open your eyes and see the whole picture not just what the media shows you.

[cth96190]

@Asker Ignorance? You silly, naive, wilful girl. Everything I stated is in the Quran. Read it. You are the one who is ignorant.

[Asker]

Did you not read my comment or are you just that hard headed. He does NOT pray. He does NOT believe in allah.

So what your saying is there are only bad people in the muslim culture. And he must be one of them even though he does NOT follow the religion.

out of curiosity of religion do you follow?

[cth96190]

@Asker, I am a Wodanist, the way of my Germanic ancestors.

[Asker]

And what is the views of your religion whats the background who have been wodanists?

[cth96190]

@Asker the answer to that question is not possible here. It is also irrelevant to your original question.

[Asker]

Cool story needs more dragons and shit :D

[Qwosa]

Cth96190 wooooowwwww you are the most disgusting pathetic idiot existing!!! UUUU have to do your research. One question have u read the quran?

[Asker]

Sorry I just know what free will is and I have every right to voice my opinion as well. Don't like it? Suck eggs not my problem. and no not everyone that muslim is a cold hearted killer. You live in australia and you have these simple ideas of what people believe and follow. Yes there are bad people in muslim culture there are also bad people in other religions just because a book says to rape and kill do you think that even the modern muslims who live in australia would do that too? if you read anything that I wrote you would know he is NOT religious but simply doesn't eat pork because of being raised that way

[cth96190]

@Asker you know nothing about me. Yes, I read what you wrote. I think that you are a naive girl who is not going to see the obvious until after you have been hurt badly. I do know Islam and Muslims. Aside from having read the Quran, I have observed their animalistic savagery wherever they have infested Western nations. Google the words "Muslim pack rape" and see what comes up. The pack rape of white women is a team sport among these animals. Finally, I used to be a soldier. I was paid to arrange for these animals to collect their 72 virgins. I would have done it for free, cheerfully.

[Asker]

Ohh youve worked in the media well that explains it then. :) while I accept your opinion I don't agree with it at all. Calling me naive doesn't justify your relentless hatred towards someone because of their beliefs. Muslim pack rape? What about pack rape in general white men do it too or are you naive and dont want to believe that white christian catholics atheist can be bad people too. I wish you all the best and have a great day :)

[allwood]

End this so called relationship now.
No one should force their beliefs on another person, and why should you 'respect' his beliefs anyway? Respect the person, not their beliefs.
My ex was a vegetarian, but she never told me I couldn't eat meat, and I never told her she should eat meat.
Get rid of him and move on, find someone who has respect for you.
Good luck.

[Mesonfielde]

Quit the relationship and be with someone who doesn't force their will down your throat. This is why I personally advise against dating Islamic people. Voted C).

[ThatAsianFellow]

Muslims see Pork as dirty however what they don't realize is that Pigs are very clean animals and their chosen meat is chicken.

The irony of this is chicken meat contains more harmful bacteria than pork. XD

So I actually got my Muslim friend to eat pork after finding that article for him to read lol!

[ThatAsianFellow]

In other words.. The reality is chicken is more *dirty* in comparison to pork

[Asker]

They actually refrain from eating pork not because its dirty but because in extreme circumstances pigs will eat one another (cannibalsim) hence it is an impure animal for doing this (to muslims)

[ThatAsianFellow]

Right and under what condition is the pork your eating was a cannibal? The Food safety banned ranches of using bi-products to feed their live stock ever since the BSE scare back in the day...

and fyi, I'm pretty sure most omnivores and carnivores may resort to cannibalism if it means survival under extreme circumstances you say

[Asker]

Im not saying your point isn't valid. Only explaining why they dont eat it. I agree that when push come to shove if you are in a moment of life and death most animals wouldn't know the difference of what their eating and they wouldn't give a crap lol.

[ThatAsianFellow]

Also my friend who is Muslim explained that Pigs roll in dirt and mud all day, therefore they are dirty and unfit for human digestion.

It has nothing to do with pig cannibals O~o*

[Asker]

Uhhh yeh there's more to it then rolling around in the dirt and mud lol

[BeInnovative]

It is not rolling in dirt and mud. Given sanitary conditions, pigs are also clean and happy animals. However for mass production sake, they are raised in very bad conditions where they do several things in extent: one is mentioned by asker as cannibalism. Second is they eat their own carcasses. The prefered meat for muslims over pork is not chicken. It is cow meat. Thou most dont eat cow meat (simply say beef) in places if they dont trust cuz they think it is easy to mix it with pork and they wouldn't notice. So they think chicken is better.. Well white meat versus red. But i am against eating chicken either lol.

[jeanbean]

Why should his personal beliefs affect your diet? He's against eating pork, fine, he doesn't have to eat pork and nobody's asking him to. It's wrong of him to try and force his beliefs onto you.

[Asker]

This is exactly how I feel. In all reality I don't care for pork products its the controlling aspect that bothers me the most. If he would leave it be chances are in time I would just stop eating of my own free will. But because he puts these must dos to it, it makes me feel uncomfortable and disrespected of my own beliefs and views.

[jeanbean]

Absolutely, your beliefs and practices are every bit as important as his and he has no right to impose his lifestyle on you. Have you tried expressing this to him? I'd think that any decent person would back off if someone they cared about felt disrespected by them.

[Tractorbeam]

You can't have it both ways.
If you are respecting his religion by not eating pork, then he is not respecting your intelligence by asking you to do it.
There was some value in not eating pork thousands of years ago, when pigs were more likely to be wild and diseased. That's why his religion recommended not eating pigs.

Thesedays pig meat is no more a health risk than any other meat, but his religion is still thousands of years behind the times

[pandagirl7]

So... it's not ok for you to do something that goes against his beliefs (eating pork) but it's ok for him (drinking and not praying)? In most cases, I would suggest compromises... however, this guy just seems controlling.

[Asker]

How would you ask to compromise?

[pandagirl7]

If he didn't eat pork himself then I might agree to not eat pork in his presence. Also if he did things that went against your beliefs, then you would ask for him to compromise on something as well. But... this guy is just a hypocrite. :/

[Theguyoverthere]

Eat pork and if ye makes a big deal, end the relationship. Whenever a relationship has differences in diet the other person shouldn't really force their diet on the other person. I notice this issue with vegans as well honestly. They feel everyone should be vegan. In a normal relationship if you got a vegetarian and the other is not, you two should just have your own dishes and leave it at that.

[notgoodwithnames]

if he would forbid your future kids of eating pork, and you don't want him too then leave him. you are too different and since he's a muslim he'd forbid to eat pork and you want to eat pork so you're different. if you wanna marry somebody you two should agree so yeah, leave him

[binny91]

End the relationship, and tell him to harden the fuck up. The girl im dating doesn't eat pork but she doesn't care if I eat a bacon roll infront of her. If he wants you to stop eating pork tell him to stop praying and see if he'll cry about it.

[Asker]

Does she do it for religous reasons, she was brought up that way or just doesn't like it?

[binny91]

her parents are traditional muslim not strict however she's grown up lives her own life and chooses not to follow the faith. However she's still got that childlike mindset of pork is disgusting like how kids hate veggies syndrome.

Im atheist also fyi

[Asker]

Ohh thats very interesting thanks for clarifying

[binny91]

In short if he doesn't respect your views just leave him and find someone else who has more respect.

[rjroy3]

Ask him to compromise and eat pork. If you both had been together the whole 2.5 years strong and you stopped for him then started back up I could understand. But he has no right to ask that of you. Future kids is another question entirely. At this point it is a form of control, so unless there is something else that he will give up for you in return I'd say tell him no.

[rjroy3]

Pork isn't great for you, but some is not bad and it tastes delicious.

[TheRavenborne]

Stop eating pork? what?

catmacros.files.wordpress.com/.../..._omen_cat.jpg

[bubble_tea]

lol!

[curlydesire]

he doesn't have to be Muslim not to eat pork.. vegetarians aren't muslim but they feel it wrong to eat animals.. in his case it may not be that but it's similar... I say stop eating out of respect for him. if you're going at this serious relationship thing.. well, it's all about sacrifices, you know?
it'll help you grow as a couple.. when the kids come you can tell them that daddy doesn't eat it and you don't bc daddy doesn't... but they can if they want.. just as long as they eventually understand that they (the kids) have a choice you'll be fine...

[Hephaestus]

media.giphy.com/media/Pk4UuSUEoIdQk/giphy.gif

just a big no to this relationship

[vuden]

It said to see that even after he has stopped believing in Islam, he still suffers from its aftereffects. You should try to see where he is coming from. Why does he consider pork bad? Try to explain to him that what comes out of your mouth is worth a lot more than what goes in.

[Fireshadow]

If he truly loves you he shouldn't care if you eat pork or not... You're NOT disrespecting him or his religion by eating pork, besides you do what you think is right and stick to your beliefs not his... Take his into consideration but don't change your life to suit him and Islam.

[Anonymous]

Let me tell you something, I dated a Muslim and he's as controlling as f. Talking about compromise, why isn't he compromising for my freedom to do what I love. If he loved me, he should let me be myself, and do what I do as long as I have conscience and not harming anyone. I decided to leve him and it was the best decision in my life! :D now I'm happy

[Opinion Owner]

And like sometimes when I see the things that he does, they're stupid and harmful to others and hurting others. Now that's what I call a hypocrite. Lol.

[Opinion Owner]

Let it go... Let it go... Turn away and slam the door... :D

[Asker]

Out of curiosity what did your ex do that was controlling?

[Opinion Owner]

At first he said that he wasn't going to force anything upon me. THEN he started with the guilt manipulation that he says that certain things are wrong in his view because of his religion though he's saying it's ok if I do it, well obviously that would have made me be so concerned about everything I'm doing... It's like a reverse psychology of saying I'm accepting you though you're doing bad things. At the end of the day, I'm tired of all of these manipulative controlling behaviors I called it a stop. I'm free now I'm so happy living the life I should be living.

[Opinion Owner]

Feel* to me that's indirectly controlling he knows that I wouldn't let him say that to my face! but he failed a sell trying to make me stop by making me feel guilty...

[Anonymous]

He dosent bealive in Allah !! So thats not muslim
If he's really care that much about pork he should stopped sleeping with u and drinking our religion is not like a game u can't drink then tell pepole stop pork!! Therse many many things the Muslim should do before he start say thats forbidden or thats not forbidden he should start from himself first ,, anyway I think sciences have proved that pork meat not healthy at all u can google it

[TrueblueInfantry]

Fuck him and his bullshit cult. The "religion" of Islam is about controlling and oppressing women. Tell him to fuck off. Don't give up what you want over a guy who thinks he can control you because of his beliefs.

[NovemberJoseph]

Eat pork, you should NEVER stop eating something you like because of a stupid belief. That's fucking ridiculous tbh. I don't care if I offended anyone. If you get offended by such things, you should get off the internet.

[kathleenkelley13]

No, its HIS beliefs. Not yours. You can respect it, you dont need to follow it. Im a vegetarian and my bf respects that. I do NOT force him to change his diets

[bubble_tea]

maybe you can compromise if he's willing to never drink.. after all it's also a good example for your future kids. I don't see why eating pork is worse than drinking, but that's just me.

[WalterRadio]

Tell him you will stop eating pork when bacon stops tasting so good.

He is the one that does not respect you. You are not the one trying to change him.

Dump him now.

[AidenBlue]

It's a stupid teaching. Likely hijacking religion to keep people from eating pork because they didn't cook it correctly and got sick. Just another stupid 'tradition' started via religion hijack. People are so gullable.

[TripleAce]

he's a fake muslim!

Double standards, picking and choosing between what he desires

Do what you want, dont listen to that nonsense

[Anonymous]

That's just one step of controlling. Don't let him make your decisions, your body your decision

[Opinion Owner]

And plus, bacon is awesome!

[Anonymous]

NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO... I'LL GO TO HELL AND BACK FOR BACON. FUCK IT.

[Dionysos]

This lady has it right.

[alijumah]

Hey, he is just like me, but I don't like being called a Muslim, so , I voted before reading the update and I think I'm going to vote B, I think pork tastes good, but you should make him try some, don't force him.

[Qwosa]

If he is a muslim HE BELIEVES IN ALLAH, he can't call himself a muslim if he doesn't believe.

[xyzzy]

This is just him trying to control you. Tell him to take a hike, you aren't his property

[Anonymous]

You may be asked to raise your children fully practicing the Muslim faith. Are you prepared to do so?

Religion is a serious value, though the pork itself msy not be.

[Stacyzee]

If you don't really care for eating pork... why make this an issue?

[Asker]

Because I feel like its a lack of respect and unwillingness to compromise. I went a year without pork and didn't even miss it. the only reason im eating now is because the dishes I buy while im out. I dont buy pork products to add into any food that I cook though just because I have lived without it. In short I feel like my freedom of choice is taken away when he says that I can't eat pork.

[Asker]

Just like he makes the choice to not eat it which I respect. Shouldn't I have that same option and make my own decision respected?

[Stacyzee]

Try to compromise with him.
Tell him you will continue to eat it.. but not around him.
If that's still a problem for him.. then you have to rethink your whole relationship.
You have to make a choice if he's unwilling to.
Cut pork completely out, or leave him.
It really all comes down to that.

You do have a point by saying you respect his religion but at the same time he should respect
your choices.
As long as you aren't doing it in front of him... I don't see why he should make such a big deal about it.

[DoraLikesSugar]

Put small amounts of pork in his meals and then tell him about it after you break up with the twat.

[Asker]

That would make me no better than him.

[thenewgirlll]

Ahahah I am a horrible person but this made me laugh 😂 I wouldn't do it tho.

[JackKerouac77]

Ask him to wear a burqa and all will be well. Tit for tat!

[Anonymous]

I would never do that. It's not actually about the pork, it's the principle. No never if I would stop eating pork, and he should respect that you are not a muslim.

[kangy]

I wld se3k compromise. I believe in relationship we need to compromise.

[kangy]

It is okay to compromjse on diet but never force you to join his religion.

[80HDx]

If he's not even following his own religion diligently, why should you? You have your beliefs, he has his.

[Zathura]

You should just break up with him, it's a silly request. Religion is silly.

[YouAholic]

I think pork eating is just a stop. If I was a muslim I would want a muslim partner.

[Evil-a]

He is crazy asshole
If he is a real muslim he should pray and stop drinking and stop sleeping with you for god sake

[Jessica__]

Similar situation, I can't survive without pork though.

[Anonymous]

"He does not pray, does not believe in allah, or any religion, "

He is atheist , not muslim, Just cuz his parents are muslims. doesn't make him one

[Flawless_Glamorous]

Find a better boyfriend...

[Rapunzel2490]

No man is worth giving up my bacon.

[adena_]

Hahaha

[greycadillacs]

Eat it. His reasons are completely arbitrary

[kep79]

women only like jerks

[AloneLove]

No pork yes happines

[Asker]

Why do you say that?

[AloneLove]

Coz pork is so disgusting how can people eat this i dont understand yuck ur bf is right

[Asker]

Lol he's turkish too.

[AloneLove]

I m Turkish too but its not about the being Turk we just hate porks :/ its not about the religion too

[Asker]

Thats his explanataion its the culture he was brought up in.