My boyfriend said "Fuck You" to me while we were arguing?

[Anonymous]

I feel so hurt. We have been together for a year and a half, he's never said this to me. We were arguing because he doesn't spend time with me, I have to beg for dates. I asked why doesn't he want to spend time and he said "Fuck you!! Stop assuming. I'm busy babe".
He's the sweetest thing and he's never said anything like this. I am so shocked and hurt. I don't know what to do? He has told me his boss at work has been giving him extra work lately because people are quitting. I'm not sure if he's taking the anger out on me? Help? :(

Updates

+1 y

I beg him for more dates because we only see each other once a month. I know he's busy at work. I know I'm selfish, but I just want more of his time. Once a month is not enough.

[islands7]

4 letter words come out when someone has either backed one to the wall or has bested their arguments, leaving them w/o enough education or experience to respond with something better than... fists or 4 letter words.

Why double up on the pressure when he's getting it from work? Will that make him love you more, make you more attractive to WANT to be with more often? I'm thinking this alley cat is tired of being kicked around and just needs someone to cater to his needs: food, sleep, petting, consoling, NO more stress.

Seems to me that when my gal was under the gun (as he) I would make sure I was johnny on the spot with those items listed above the minute she was off work. It may be the only times you'll get to share with him might be "smoke breaks", back door/alley of his work. Wouldn't that be enough to stay with an obviously "good provider"?

[Asker]

I only see him once a month.

[islands7]

I DID understand that when making my comment...

[Anonymous]

I REALLY dislike the fact that you "have to beg for dates" I also don't like the fact the he said "stop assuming"
Saying Fuck you is not right but sometimes people say bad things in the heat of the moment.
Heavy work load or not, sorry to say it's time to move on. "Stop assuming" he's your bf.

[Asker]

He has been doing a lot of over time lately. People at his job are quitting or getting fired. He promises to make time and he apologizes for it. I feel bad because he will come out if work and come see me. He works everyday except Sundays. 10 hour shifts. 12 hours with the commute. Sundays he sleeps in or is working his second job. I tell him he's to busy for me. And maybe it's best if we break up but he says no because he loves me. We only see each other once or twice a month.

[zombiebabe]

nice talk dude

[Opinion Owner]

I'm in the building trades. At one point for a long time we were working 6X12 (6 days 12 hrs) like him.
I would make time to see my gf. Even if it was just for an hour or a bite to eat.
So you're left to choose an ambitious guy or move on to?
I think I'd keep the guy that works, pays the bills & has some money.
Are you being selfish?

[Asker]

We don't live together. I work too. But not as much as he does. I guess I am being selfish.

[Lexxy666]

Awww I felt the same way, my bf swore at me after a year of dating and i felt hurt altho didn't show it, well if he swears often it might've slipped, but I'm sure he felt bad he said that... And yea he is taking his frustration on u becuz of all the stress, Just dont worry, the f word is just a word, ik it hurts but be the bigger person and yea don't create an argument about that or else he'd think ur a really sensitive person, but if he swears at u at random times then its a problem becuz soon then he'll slap u and it'll go farther so better off end it here. Just make him a nice dinner or something, or something nice for him, and tell him how u felt if its really bothering u, but best thing to do is not mention it again. Don't worry, guys sometimes swear but feel guilty as hell sometimes when they know they've hurt someone they love

[dazedandconfused22]

Why would you want to date someone when you have to beg them for dates. That seems beyond silly to me. Stop being so dependent on a man, get a grip and stop being so emotional.

Go out with your friends and find a guy who will want to be with you, which will be hard if you are clingy. That's why he said fuck you to you because it's annoying.

[HollyK21]

It could've been an unintentional, heat of the moment slip. But beyond that, I think the major issue is why are you in a relationship that is quickly becoming one sided. I understand that's he's working and busy, but when it gets to the point that you have to constantly beg for his time then you are wasting yours.

[Asker]

I tell him it's better if we just break up, because he can't give me the attention I want, but he begs me to stay. He promises he'll change. I feel bad because he's always working and I know he's busy. But we only see each other once a month. Twice if I'm lucky. I know it's selfish of me, but I just want more face to face time with him.

[HollyK21]

You can give him a chance to prove himself if you believe that he can; but you have nothing to feel guilty about. There's no grudge or hard feelings, he's working hard and trying to do well at his job, but at the same time it's not a relationship if you can't spend any time together, and might be better suited as friends. If you decide to stick it out, I guess time will tell.

[AnaMuc]

You are by no means being selfish. Being in a relationship means giving, committing, making an effort. He is clearly not on the same page as you. Sorry, you are fooling yourself BIG TIME! Stop begging. A man whom you have to beg for his attention is not worth of your time. My boyfriends lives in the same town as me, now working 550 KM away Monday to Friday, has family, friends, sports... still he negotiated with his company to be home every damn weekend and holiday. Do you know why? Because HE WANTS TO SPEND TIME WITH ME! It is a priority for him. When a guy tells you he is too busy to spend time with you, too much going on, family problems and so on, dear read the memo. What he means is: "It is nice being with you but I am happy with seeing you only once a month and not willing to give you more of my time". That is it. A man in love, a man who cares about you and wants a relationship would never ever tell you to fuck yourself because he only sees you once a month and you want more. Seriously? It is so clear: this guy is happy in having you as a fling, he wants nothing else. It is your decision to accept his crumbs or move on and make room for someone who is really interested in pursuing a relationship with you.

A man who cares will ALWAYS find time, even if it is just a few hours per week, a meet up for coffee and so on. I have been there where you are... several times. But now I know better and only spend my time, give my love and attention to someone who treats me right.

[pinkpunkpony]

I'm sure he doesn't mean to be mean to you. Poor dude sounds stressed out of his skull😥

I'm sorry you had to hear that from him, no one deserves to hear that from someone they love 😥😢😥😢

Try maybe bringing it up calmly to him, let him know that hurt

[AviatorTom]

"FU" is often said when someone is angry. It doesn't mean anything in particular. It's just easier for the human mind to blurt out "FU" than to say what it really means... "I'm mad at you, I think I'm right, and I don't like us arguing about this."

[GreatPerhaps]

It's normal for angry words to be exchanged in a relationship. I know when this has happened to me I was also in shock and absolutely hurt. He might just be really stressed. Just tell him that you understand he is stressed and frustrated but that is no way to talk to you, tell him he hurt your feelings. You say he's sweet so I'm sure he'll understand he didn't react in the right way.

[JustinX9]

it is either to give yourself a bit more of patience because he is stressed from work... or break up with him... if you are not happy anymore then tell him... but if you are really love him you would understand him... lets switch place if you are the one busy working and he is asking you for dates... what will you do?

[BertMacklinFBI]

it seems like he is just prioritizing right now and you pestering him about dates and such is really a nuisance to him.

[Asker]

We only see each other once a month, twice if I'm lucky.

[BertMacklinFBI]

Eek! Yeah sorry to hear that. It can get worse though. Be patient about it. If he is as great as you say, he will come around.

[smokahontas]

Sometimes we say things that we didn't mean at the spur of the moment. When two people are arguing and yelling, there is a no-win situation. If you want an answer or solution, you have to communicate in a humble manner.

[Freakingthefout]

He's stressed and needs his space.
If you're not alright with that, it's time for a talk

[Asker]

I told him he doesn't have time for me and its better if we break up. But he promises to spend more time. We only see each other once a month, twice if I'm really lucky.

[Freakingthefout]

That's too little even from my perspective. And I'm ridiculously asocial to the point that I can't even consider relationships. So... I don't know. Give him a chance. If it's not working out, it's not working out

[Asker]

He begs me to stay and makes promises to make time. I tell him I understand he has work, but I'm not happy seeing him only once a month. I know that's selfish, but one hour a month of his time. it's not enough.

[Freakingthefout]

That's not selfish. You're seeing things the wrong way. You are absolutely entitled to want more time from him. He's absolutely entitled to refuse. If there cannot be a compromise, you should go your separate ways before it just devolves further

[AnaMuc]

And you SERIOUSLY think this is OK? he is NOT your boyfriend, you are just a fling and he treats you as such! Move on. A man who cares finds and makes time for you.

[WhitneySnow]

I’d be mad too but I might also forgive him because it sounds like he’s under a lot of stress

[Klaatu51]

hey why are ya hurt? "fuck u" isn't an insulting... it's a wish!!! XD XD XD

[mommymommymommy]

I've said the f word to people on here, and im not even dating them, sometimes women will just piss you off, just to piss you off

[Anonymous]

He's stressed about work and you piled additional stress on him, so he snapped. Give the guy some space.

[Asker]

We only see each other once a month. Twice if I'm really lucky. I told him he's busy and that we should break up because I'm not happy with seeing him only one time a month. He promises me he'll change and begs me to stay. I understand he's busy, but I want to see him face to face more than once a month.

[obaby1964]

when he said fuck you to me, i said i'll remember that next time you wake me up with a bllod pressure level of 227/160 and want my help...

[GiveMeABreakPlz]

He's really stressed out to the maximum.

[KrakenAttackin]

He's finally tired of your shit.