I made a fake online profile to see his loyalty to me and he failed the test. I hate myself... Please help?

Anonymous
I met this guy online about a year ago. We've become really romantically and emotionally close. He's a really important part of my life. I would say that we're dating without the label. Or at least that's what I call it. I thought he thought the same.

I went on the site that we met the other day and noticed that he was online. Kinda weird, considering if he met me on there and we're a "thing" then he should have no reason for going on anymore. I was like "oh well, he's probably just bored and wants to talk to random people." I don't care about that, I think it's fine that he talks to other people besides me.

But then some other things made made me a little paranoid and so I created a fake account and messaged him on the site. I'm really embarrassed about doing this, but I just wanted to know how he would interact with another girl and if he would say that he was single or taken. Just like how loyal online he is to me.

Yeah jokes on me. I asked him on the account if he was looking for anyone and he said "yes ;)" and then I clarified that he had no girlfriend of any sort and he said no. This fucking broke my heart. I know I asked for it but I was really really hoping that he would say "sorry I'm taken" or something like that. I know that's what I would do when asked.

I'm really really sad about this and I know that he does love me because you can't fake what we have for a year. He wouldn't do anything in real life cheating-wise, but I guess online it's an easier thing to hide from me.

I don't know what to do anymore. I'm really sad that I've resorted to this and I can't trust him anymore.
Updates
+1 y
Okay let me clarify. We live pretty far apart, so I said that it didn't seem right to "date" until we actually met first. He's said on multiple occasions he wants me to be his girlfriend. When I talk to him as me, he tells me that I'm the only one he loves and blah blah blah. He's invested a lot into this relationship (money, time, emotion) so I don't think he would get as seriously involved with someone else like me. Just like casual conversation and flirting with others. Still fucking hurts
I made a fake online profile to see his loyalty to me and he failed the test. I hate myself... Please help?
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